Random Thoughts - Tumblr Posts
my toxic trait is that you cannot get me off wikipedia to save my life
on wikipedia straight up "learning it". and by "learning it" i mean, lets just say.. information
random question: SANDWICHES
how many people out there have tried or tried and liked sandwiches with cream cheese and jelly?
is it just me?
random statement: ads
insurance ads are strange, but they’re also comical.
i don’t laugh when i hear them. i cringe.
observation: emoji
today i watched a fan/meme edit with a dabbing emoji.
a. how have i never seen this before
b. it is glorious
c. i have no other proper way to express my happiness
❀ Pansy n°7 = I'm "over"-everything.
To begin, yes, it is tiring. It’s impossibly tiring to be this prone to overwhelming.
It never was a secret that I am an overthinker. Like my brain literally never f*cking stops, always fuming and reeling. It caused me too many insomnias - the images, sounds, memories and information in my head running and distorting without break. It’s insufferable.
Yet, that's not all. Sadly it is also difficult to survive overthinking on a daily basis. Especially in a social environment. My brain is just… dying. The world feels and seems constantly against me. I always think that everyone around me is watching and judging my every move. Looking out for the small moments when I’ll mess up and be cringe.
So it’s difficult to allow myself to act as I want because I feel like I will be judged and hated either way, never belonging to the unity. Like I am bound to stand out, to be left out by the social group. To try and avoid that, my brain analyzes everything and everyone but often is irrational. Because I over analyze how people see me, what they might think or feel; but in the end I am just projecting my fears onto them way too much. Yet, I end up stuck, struggling to fit in, alone up in my head thinking I’m not interesting, weird, not worth anyone’s time and hated by everyone.
Nice right ? :)
My mind just tricks me to believe that I am the worst and cringiest person in the world. I have been told before that I question myself too much. In fact, I prefer to - and cannot help but - analyze every situation in which I could be the source of a problem before blaming the other party. I also try to find many excuses for others. Maybe I am too gullible and try too much to see the good in people, or that I’ve been used to caring for others before myself. The problem with this is that unconsciously I expect the same train of thought from others when most times it is not the case. Sadly, it ended up hurting me as it is easy for people to take advantage of my overthinking.
→ Toxic people (narcissistic perverts…) like to make you feel guilty - often through gaslighting - and overthinkers are the pros for that… :/
However, my cousin has been teaching me to find the positive side of those habits that I don’t like. And I came to the conclusion that this habit made me more observant and that when my worries are communicated it makes for good and deep conversations. Apparently it also makes people question themselves more - or so I’ve been told :/.
Therefore I try to be more kind to myself and calm my overthinking by communicating. It’s not easy everyday… But it is so important. As important as speaking about your feelings.
I’m still learning how good it is for oversensitive people like me. I’ve always struggled to speak up about my emotions because I always thought they didn’t have value or importance or even that I was being overdramatic, faking it. it was like I never had a good enough reason to express myself and make people lose time on me, like I’m not worth it.
So I always second guess myself and think about the true worth of communicating what’s bothering me. Because if it’s little and I’m just blowing it or that in the end it turns out I was tricking myself and faking it unconsciously, I’ll just feel ultra guilty of wasting someone’s time and energy. Especially as I strive to make people around me feel good, safe, heard and comfortable (with me). And I know I tend to blow things out of proportion. Like I feel horrible when someone makes a tiny and precise criticism about my work even though I did all the rest well. Because it’s like I disappoint them by not doing good enough.
The problem with me is that “good enough” has to be as close to “perfect” as possible. Simply because if I put energy in it I should go 100% and nail it. If it’s not the case then why waste time and embarrass myself ? Though I’ve been trying to understand - more to assimilate - that everyone’s 100% is different and even that every day’s 100% is different. And that’s completely okay and normal.
I’ve just been taught at school that you have to keep a high constant of activity even though it’s obviously not possible.
Disappointing people is one of my greatest fears. I think that might be why I take things too personally all the time. So many times I tear up when someone makes a remark to a group I belong to, and even if I shouldn’t feel concerned I question myself and feel horrible. “I should’ve thought of it.”“I should’ve done it.”“I didn’t do good.” I hardly let myself fail as I haven’t failed much. So I pressure myself to keep my high average by being the most excellent. Yet I can hardly hold on anymore… It’s logical that I end up burned out. I overdid it and now I'm over it.
I am over with life.
At least that is what I think a lot but I’m working on it. I am trying to be done with being over-pessimistic. It’s not over for me, and if it’s not for you either, dear reader… Then,...
Let’s get over it together <3.
✿❀✿
🔺Original work please do not steal or copy, Thanks.🔺
Do you ever wonder what happens to limited time youtubers products, are they just destined to eBay hell for the rest of their existence?
The price of good art comes with the cost of the artist themselves hating their work.
I have this one very very special headcanon for Bruce, the serial killer where I feel like he's into manipulating people into loving him or something like that. I have another headcanon where he likes to pinch young people's cheek NOT BUTT CHEEK I MEAN FACE CHEEK
🔪The Serial Killer🔪
Tw's - Killing (duh), mentions of manipulation, mercenary work, just a general warning for this man 💀💀
Comments - This is just gonna be me adding onto this- I now have to add onto the key. Cry-
Random thoughts:
🔪 I have the feeling he hates kids in all honesty
🔪 He either A. Has a short temper, or B. Gets incredibly irritated by certain things
🔪 He gives me the vibes that he manipulates on occasion
🔪 Not exactly a relationship type of guy thanks to his.. occupation
🔪 These are interesting ideas, but don't exactly match him
🔪 He has probably turned on the charm to get out of sticky situations, but that's as far as it goes
🔪 The less he has to build a relationship with a person the better
🔪 Hence why he's been on the run for so long without getting close to being caught
🔪 My random head canons feel, odd? Or just kinda basic 💀
🔪 I feel like he does pinch the cheeks of people he's messing with (if they're tied down or too injured to move) to try to get a kick out of them
🔪 He has the skills to manipulate people, but doesn't really use them unless if they're really needed. (I feel like I already said this but meh)
🔪 He barely gets sleep. Aaliyah's art of him has shown (sort of) that he has some sort of bags under his eyes (this could just be her art style however)
🔪 Doesn't have a very big knife collection personally, but when it comes to torturing people, he has a very wide variety he can choose from
🔪 Sucks at cooking, I will take no criticism on this
🔪 Not a touchy person, tries to avoid touching people as much as possible
🔪 Hence the gloves (minus OBVIOUS reasons)
🔪 The cheek pinching however is for him to try and tick off the person he's talking to/torturing
🔪 He also slaps them if he feels like they're getting too brave for their own good
🔪 He's a bit trigger happy I feel like
🔪 I feel like if someone angers him enough, he'll plot for about a couple of days the perfect murder then go for it
🔪 I don't know if he does have a job outside of his very obvious occupation/favorite activity, or if he's a mercenary
🔪 I want to throw out a couple of ideas of what he might be, but I can't think of anything 💀💀
🔪 Nothing I can think of fits-
🔪 I was thinking something in the medical field, which would add onto the sleepless nights, but it would become too much physically
🔪 He's not a classic office worker for a corporate business because he either has a short fuse or gets frustrated/annoyed easily
🔪 So I can only think of a professional assassin that runs his own business and still does field work
🔪 He mentioned that he had a couple of "friends" but added on the fact that they were only being nice to him because he's their boss (do correct me if I'm wrong)
🔪 So that feels the most logical
🔪 If I'm right however, he runs a very dangerous business, and was probably contracted to attack our school.
🔪 He saw us, saw himself in us, and wants us to go on the same path as him being a successful serial killer/assassin/paid mercenary (I don't know if an assassin and mercenary are the same so let me know if they are-)
Notes - This was very interesting to think about, and do keep in mind that these are my personal opinions of the character, you're completely allowed to think whatever about him or any other character you want.
Imagine Inosuke getting into a fight with a vacuum
Rengoku has the same energy/vibe as Tony the Tiger
Having a conversation surrounding endo syscourse in such a respectful and thoughtful way with someone even though we have different stances but being able to come to the same conclusion is SO refreshing tbh
I thought only my close friends that share some thoughts with me would be able to understand me, but finding someone here on tumblr able to talk about this and some problems I thought it was bad to talk because of how toxic and shitty the CDD community is... It just fills my body with calm and a little hope that this community isn't 100% doomed yet
you know, if you think about it, most—if not all—writers are pretty attuned to the Web.
their form of coping is to escape by creating their own little world where they can control everything that happens, be that mentally or actually on paper.
anyways *pulled off stage by a shepherd’s crook*
A fortune teller who is actually just aware of the forth wall and tropes
Do you ever wanna just dance in the rain with your lover?
Maybe someone could send him some emoticons to use . . .
Poor Urie…realizing his brief but glorious run of having facial features was over…
Random thoughts moment…thinking about how Tear wouldn't be noticed by anyone if they don't want to be, since they can go invisible and their steps leave no sound. Just gotta keep quiet. Probably only Dream and Nightmare would be able to sense them via emotions, giving him the jumpscare of his life. They have no cannon interactions tho EDIT: To add to this thought... their magic is very much visible. Meaning their tears are too, as it's their magic. No crying for them if they wanna be hidden
why are SpongeBob episodes numbered so menacingly?
like SB-129 sounds like a government document or smth
Aww cutiesie pico
I am terrible at animating, lol
All the time
Do you ever just
