My Mind - Tumblr Posts

Its okay. When gloomy day comes by, there's always a tiny happiness within yourself.

"It's scratching the inside of my mind;

pleading to be released.

I don't know how to relinquish it and

put it to ease.

      It's drowning in the pools of thoughts

that fill each crevice.

While fighting, the currents and tides

begin to wash over it.

      It's battling the creatures that stir

about the horizon;

Deciphering the illusions which foes

have tightly spun.

      It's enduring the cataclysmic world's

environment nearby;

Lashing and marring the ground with

all its might.

      It's searching frantically, clawing air,

needing an egress.

Yet, I still cannot wrench it outward

to allot it rest."

      -EL

Insanidades em coisas insanas.

Minha mente é como um espaço infinito onde eu encontro mais e mais de mim. As vezes eu estou apenas com meus fones de ouvido vagando pelo spotify e descobrindo novas músicas, músicas que eu nem ouço, sabe? E que eu gostaria de conhecer mais do gênero, pois são suaves e inspiradores... E eu gosto da sensação de inspiração, de poder brincar com as palavras e com o pouco do que eu sei - o que não é muito, mas é algo - e é uma coisa minha, que mesmo sendo solitária é aconchegante, eu gosto. Então eu fico criando playlists com vários tipos musicais, porque eu também sou momentânea, e isso deixa meu gosto músical variável, é louco, sou eu, complexidade até na hora de abrir o spotify e por uma música.

SUGARSTREAM ♡ ┊ ꒰ gojo satoru x female reader ꒱ content ༄ minors do not interact ᥫ᭡ camgirl!reader, fanboy!gojo, virgin killer!gojo, sex toys, anal play, candy play, virgin kink, corruption, teasing, cum play, age gap (gojo is 33, reader is in 20s) fingering, masturbation, cunnilingus, condoms to unprotected sex, sprinkle of dumbification, praise, orgasm control. w.c ༄ est. 9.2k note from satorhime ༄ i got the idea for a camgirl au from an old request that i can't find in my inbox now but i hope you enjoy reading this. ♡ : · • rbs and comments are appreciated and loved!

gojo satoru has a big sweet tooth.

he can always be seen ordering a frappuccino with five pumps of caramel syrup and extra whipped cream at starbucks, showing up to morning training with an entire platter of chocolate dipped berries, or suckling a tootsie pop with obscenely inappropriate noises during important meetings because the components in sugar stimulates his brain, giving the right amount of rush someone like him needs to keep sane.

his credit card is most swiped at sweet shoppes and random souvenir stands that sell his favorite melon sugar cubes, or the zunda and cream kikufuku he likes so much.

because his appetite for the sweeter things in life is insatiable.

that's why it isn't a surprise he developed a craving for you. he's always had a greedy taste for doe-eyed young women and you happened to be exactly his type. saccharine smile, giggly laugh, and a head full of bubblegum. ijichi kiyotaka's sweet little apprentice who skipped through the halls eating strawberry hi-chews for lunch instead of proper meals, wearing tiny little skirts and rootbeer flavored lip gloss just to torment gojo into wanting to lick it onto his tastebuds.

pure and lovely, you've become his favorite sugar rush.

and with the help of pop culture and social media, he can have a sample before he finally buys the product.

RECENT TWEET FROM @xoyoursweetenerxo: i'll be streaming in 10 mins wearing new lingerie! come take a peek at pixelme.jp/sweetener <333

that's the alert that begins gojo's unraveling, rolling into his notification center. his heart kicks up an irritating notch when he flips his phone over in his hand and reads your username on the screen. he can feel the curious eyes of his three former students on his back as they trail him down the hall, but he has tunnel vision and cotton ears, their incessant chatter echoing in one ear and out the other.

"gojo-sensei, did you hear anything i just said?" megumi snaps, his annoyed tone barely registering.

"i heard a rumor that he finally has a girlfriend now, that's why he's always so distracted," nobara gossips into yuuji's ear, the two casting a long, knowing glance at their mentor.

"so it's like that?"

"it's like that."

"what were you saying?" gojo asks distractedly, lifting one side of his blindfold to unlock his phone, bringing up the twitter app. his main account loads first and he spares a single glance to nanami's weekend vacation update, two for tsukumo straddling her motorbike in hokkaido, and none for aoi ranting about takada's dating rumors at the top of his timeline.

he never hears megumi's reply because he's too busy switching to his private account, an empty lurker with a black photo. eager to click your profile.

tonight's stream invitation is pinned at the top, decorated with pink hearts but he ignores that for now. making sure to hold his phone at an angle his nosy ass kids can't peek at, a long pale finger swipes up to bring the scroll down to a spam of grwm selfies you just posted, a ritual before your streams. you're cute as a button in each one, but it's the last one— on hands and knees, ass pointed to the camera—that makes him groan, the sound covered up by an exaggerated sneeze.

"um, gross!" nobara screeches at him, folding her arms and leaning away. "you sounded like a middle aged dad."

satoru stops his long stride suddenly, masking his irritation by reaching into his pocket for his wallet, flipping the leather open for a spare credit card. he hands it to kugisaki with a pat on her head, grinning when she slaps his hand down and pockets his card without question.

"you know what? mission’s canceled for tonight!" he cheers, already heading in the opposite direction, shooting finger guns. he's eager to get away from his kids and to his office where he can concentrate on your stream. "go out without me and have fun!"

he waves off their confused looks, disappearing in a flash. attention glued to his phone like a teenaged boy. the sorcerer feels his cock twitch to life in his pants the longer he stares at your picture. you're wearing a skater dress that barely covers your plump ass, giving your twitter followers a tease of soft skin and cute stretch marks on the back of your thighs.

he knows that if he wants to see more, like the devastating visual of your slit spread around your favorite dildo, he'll have to join the stream and tip up.

not many people know about your other life. the angel who brings in sponge cake and iced coffee each morning to gojo, who shyly refuses to meet his stare whenever he walks into the room, unable to stand the intensity of his flirtations, is a camgirl with views high enough to land you in the top rated tab. people tipped you good and in return, you let them control your pleasure.

and gojo satoru is your biggest fan.

he hadn't been stalking when he found out. he'd just been passing by one of the staff rooms with the intention of terrorizing ijichi and found you instead, boldly streaming from your phone, whispering i bought my first vibrator! should i try it at work?

those annoying hot girls in your area, click for more! ads weren't needed because gojo had never made an account so fast.

and if he tuned into your grainy stream from his office, cock shamelessly fisted in his hand as he watched you push your panties to the side, phone camera positioned in an upskirt shot of you struggling to fit the small, vibrating toy inside your tight little cunt? mind your business.

he unlocks the door to his office now, shutting himself in before he clicks the streaming link, letting his phone redirect to the site so he can log in.

username: honoredone89 password: hollowedout28

"is the stream stable? hi, welcome! we'll get started soon."

the sound of your airy, girlish voice rings out from his phone as he falls into a leather lounge chair. you're streaming from your room this evening, dressed in frilly and frothy lingerie and a pair of lacy thigh highs, sitting up on your knees on a bed draped in a white gossamer canopy.

rosy led lights wash out the pretty tone of your skin in a soft pink glow, selling your sweet and innocent image. gojo figures that's why you're so popular— you feed right into their desires to turn out girls like you, drawing them in like worker bees to honey.

"how's my apprenticeship? it's going so good, thank you!" you answer a comment from one of your regulars, waving shyly at the viewers pouring into the virtual room.

"this won't be a long stream since i have to wake up early tomorrow, but..." you prattle on, leaning forward to check the viewer count. gojo's attention is drawn to the plump swell of your breasts in your bralette. god, he wants to run his lips all over the lace so bad; tonguing and biting over your nipples through the flimsy fabric until they're bitten raw. "while we wait for more to join, what did you boys do today-"

"ah, shoot. i almost forgot!" you gasp, twisting around to lean out of the canopy; opening the drawer on the nightstand.

as you rummage around, bent over, you accidentally allow your fans to admire the panties you're wearing. crotchless and lacy, the clips of a garter attached to your stockings. the backshot gives him a perfect peek at the shadowed seam of your pussy too, the little scraps of fabric on the front kissing your clit.

but more importantly, he can see the heart-shaped glass plug buried in the dip of your ass.

oh. well, when did you get that?

his tastebuds water, sweet tooth waking up for cravings. a quick decision made that he will stop holding himself back and get a taste of you, that he will be the end to your innocence.

in2feet chatted: this is boring hurry up and get naked

nakedman chatted: location? i'd fuck your ass so good kitten

it was obviously unintentional because your look of ditzy confusion is too cute when you turn around with the matching dildo, shaped like a sailor moon wand. but it ends up being the perfect way to begin your stream— tips roll in without prompting, chat pinging with comments.

"hehe, what are you guys- o-oh.." your question ends in a small sigh that makes his cock throb in his slacks. the air feels stagnant and warm in his office so he drags his blindfold down, unbuttoning the high collar of his jacket. you settled back on the bed too fast, the glass flare of the plug in your ass shifting, pushing a little deeper, twinging an unfamiliar lurch in your tummy. "t-to be honest, i've never used a plug before so it hurts a bit."

a young starlet improvising on a mistake, you lift the wand to your lips. pastel pink tongue peeking out to wet the tip as you blink innocently at the cam. "can i put this in the other hole to distract myself from the pain?"

gojo can feel his brain rotting down to the stems.

you settle against the cloudbank of pillows, bringing your laptop a little closer to finish setting up and check the time. "before i start, i want to remind everyone that i'll only take requests from the highest tipper tonight!"

cyberme chatted: whenever you're ready, baby. we're watching!

cyberme and 10 others tipped 20 hearts

tittystan (★ tip) tipped 50 hearts

"you guys are so sweet!" the sound of the tip bell and chat alerts fill the volume of your room, drowning out your voice. lewd requests and thirsty comments begin to chime in, begging for you to remove your bra, show your pussy, play with the plug in your ass.

you have these men wrapped around your little finger, even though their hearts will be cashed out for real coins at the end of the night.

tittystan (★ tip) chatted: play with those pretty tits for us pls

"is this okay?" your impatient thumb rubs over a clothed nipple, shivering at the touch. more tips fumble in and gojo can see you build the confidence you need to push your bralette down, tucking it under the curve of your breasts so they spill right out.

fuck... he can't help but imagine his large digits replacing yours, dragging the calloused pads of his thumbs over your nipples until you cry and his thirsty ass can drink up your tears.

satoru shifts, leaning back in his barcelona chair as he reaches down to press the heel of his palm to the swelling bulge of his cock at the same time you squeeze one of the fleshy globes into your hand, a soft whine whistling past your clenched teeth.

jacker82 (★ tip) tipped 250 hearts and chatted: fuck yourself on the dildo alr!

you nod at the comment, opening your legs a bit only to snap them shut a heartbeat later. "i-i'm sorry, i'm so nervous tonight!" your teeth chew against your bottom lip as encouraging comments ring in your chat, words of praises that urges you to go further.

posessiveness burns green through his veins at the comments from other men, but he knows how to take what he wants and right now, what he wants is your attention only on him.

honoredone89 chatted: don't be nervous. i'm with you.

honoredone89 chatted: go on and open up for me.

gojo doesn't miss the glow of arousal in your eyes as you read his comment, your heart beating faster than it ever has. honoredone89... you missed seeing his comments on your streams. he felt more like a collaborator, unafraid to poke, prod, tease. the way he talks shit at you leaves you soaked and whining each time, wondering who he is; crying into your pillow whenever he'd toss down five hundred to make you cum, then throw down another five to switch up and edge you at the last minute. want me to change my mind, angel? he'd chat out and you could almost taste his smirk.

you would be lying if you said that your little crush on this anonymous person had nothing to do with him reminding you of the white-haired fox you were instantly drawn to at the start of your apprenticeship. honoredone89 could very well be one of those creeps that records cam shows to reupload to shady porn sites or a catfish. after all, his profile picture is the lower half of a (really fucking gorgeous) mirror selfie. but considering that a man like the actual satoru wouldn't return your silly, growing affections, you're fine with cosplaying.

"o-okay, sorry," you obey him so easily, parting your knees, finally giving your fans a view of your pretty pussy in those crotchless panties. gojo should be ashamed, but he groans at the sight. you sigh as the cool air breezes over feverish skin, cooling the wetness clinging to your folds. it's why your fans love you so much— so wet during streams, no need for lube when your cute little pussy drools out the sweetest nectar no one has had the pleasure of tasting.

"look at you, sweet girl. you got any idea what you do to me?" you've barely shown anything and he feels like losing his fucking mind.

satoru should feel guilty for what he does next, but his conscious is crystal clear. mind blank and too fucking horny to think about propriety, he unbuttons his slacks. fishes his cock out to squeeze at the base, relieving some of the ache. his balls jump desperately as you slide the glass toy between your legs on the screen.

then his phone pings with a notif the moment you press the tip to your clit— a text from megumi dropping down, covering his view of the torturous circles you rub around the swelling nub. a swipe further down and you prod it against your entrance, panting out a low whine that knocks the wind out of gojo's chest, ears ringing.

"p-please let me put it inside!" you cry to the chat, noises so pretty. you'll sound even prettier when you're under him, squirming and pleading for him to fuck you until you live only for the feeling of his cock.

gojo's summer blue eyes scan over the message from megumi, ensuring his kids aren't in danger while he fucks himself off. he chokes off breathy groans so he can hear your moans, rubbing the rough pad of his thumb over the tip of his cock. muscles in his stomach twitching in pleasure as he nudges it inside the slit so clear, watery precum dribbles past his fingers to spill down the long length of his cock.

user20180407 chatted: fuck yourself already i'm so hard!

instead of gojo replying to an annoyed megumi complaining about having to go to a pachinko parlor (yuuji's idea, no doubt) with the others, he taps the tip button before he can stop himself.

honoredone89 (★ tip) tipped 1050 hearts

honoredone89 (★ tip)  chatted: just your fingers tonight, sweet girl.

"c-can i put them inside?" is your immediate answer.

honoredone89 (★ tip) chatted: nope, don't think i want you to do that.

the unhappy comments from your other viewers almost gives him more pleasure than the feeling of his palm rubbing out his cock in rough strokes.

"okay, thank you, sir," you tuck in with a soft smile. he knows you're thanking him for the fat wad of cash in your tip jar, not him snatching away your pleasure, but the sound of the honorific from your lips sends a zip of arousal straight down his spine. the way he fucks into his hand is messy now, dragging his hand up and down his dick. precum coating his fingers white, dripping onto his slacks. "thank you for letting me touch my clit."

he's your highest tipper and your pleasure is always in the hands of your tip jar. setting the toy aside with the hope he'll let you use it later, you open your legs until your knees touch the sheets, joints in your hips aching. reaching fingers to the opening in your panties. you're so soaked, pretty lace all darkened in spots. you spread your folds, circling your clit with two fingers.

"oooh, o-oh.. it's not enough, please let me-"

"hope y'r this greedy when i feed you my cock, princess, fuck. gonna... give you what you need soon, don't worry," he promises to empty air, sweating hard beneath his jacket with his hand tight around his cock. imagining that he's got you right here in his office, fucking up into your pussy as you struggle to bounce on him. on the phone, his speaker rings with your frustrated whines. your thighs tremble as you rub your clit too fast, making it sore.

a few attempt to match his price and tip him out, wanting control over your delicious pleasure; wanting you to use the dildo so they can imagine the little toy is their cocks. but unlike the cheap fucks swarming around your chat, the black metal of his bank card is limitless. there's no one that can stop him from blowing hot cash on an even hotter girl so he does. doubling your tips, tripling it down each time.

the sorcerer has plans that won't be ruined by old men escaping nagging wives and stressful jobs by twisting their dicks to the moans of pretty girls.

at the end of the night, he plans on adding another maraschino cherry to the top of his ice cream sundae.

but that all depends on you.

now when did he close his eyes? on his screen, gojo almost misses it. the prettiest sight.

"c-can i cum, sir?" you simper to your fans, to him. "fuck me. it.. it's right there. please say yes, please please!" circling the pad of your finger under the hood of your clit where you're most sensitive at, you slide a hand up your body to squeeze one of your breasts. a soft gasp pushing out to join the squish of your fingers rubbing through the wet between your thighs.

honoredone89 (★ tip) tipped 2000 hearts!

user20221030 chatted: this rich fuck is so annoying stop hogging!

gojo sounds like a maniac when he tosses his head and howls at the comment, unrestrained laughs choking off into a deep moan when he strokes down and squeezes the base of his cock. fighting off his orgasm for a torturous edge to himself.

honoredone89 (★ tip) chatted: since you can't hold it, go on and show everyone how pretty you are when you cum.

"yu-yes, sir!"

gojo wasn't lying. even the lagging connection to your stream can't dim the beauty you are when you reach your high. it burns a hole into his brain, tearing shivers down his spine as he watches the band snap as soon as you answer his comment. it's real, but you make it pretty, arching off the bed, thrashing, clamping your thighs together as you cum with strained whimpers.

reluctantly, he takes his wet cock and tucks himself away, hissing as the sensitive head presses against the zipper of his slacks.

"did you guys cum too?" you're asking shyly, ready to end your livestream. gojo cleans his hand on his blindfold with a snort at the viewers complimenting your show.

user203020 chatted: u need to block that rich dude. it's unfair. not coming back until u do

cyberme chatted: so hot, kitten. see you next time!

tittystan chatted: don't go babe i didn't get to cum yet :c

sitting up, you wrap your arms around your legs, chin resting atop your knees. your body still trembles with the aftershocks of your little orgasm, but you pull the laptop closer with a blissfully tired smile to answer questions, goodnight wishes, and thank your viewers for their support.

"thank you so much! if you have ideas for my next stream, leave a reply on twitter," you say distractedly, tapping on your laptop.

gojo's phone buzzes with a notification shortly after and he's not surprised that it's a message sent to his account on the cam site.

xoyoursweetenerxo ♡ : hi >< you were my highest tipper!!! do you have any requests for me?

is what the message reads and gojo wears a big smirk as the cards deal a lucky hand just for him. he cradles his phone in both hands as long fingers fly over the keyboard to reply.

no more time wasted after he's blown away hours, weeks, months on the chase for you.

honoredone89: you know what? i think i do!

honoredone89 is typing . . .

honoredone89: open your door for me.

404 error: this livestream has ended!

somehow, that leads to gojo satoru standing in the middle of your room at jujutsu tech.

you'd barely had time to fix your lingerie and clear the smudges of your lipstick before a familiar rap of knuckles was at your door— the same rhythm gojo knocks against your desk each morning to get your attention.

he looks out of place standing in the frills of your pink wonderland, led lights turning pure white hair the color of blush as he glances around at your bishoujo figurines, sanrio plushies, and special edition manga volumes.

"cute," he comments with an amused smile and points, your cheeks warming as you follow his line of vision to the sailor moon dildo sitting on your sheets, forgotten. "where's the other one?"

"h-how did you know..."

"still inside you, i take it?"

"h-how!" your reaction is adorable, different now that you're in front of him. fiddling with the ribbons of your robe, unable to watch his gemstone blue eyes darken to a deep pit of arousal when you nod.

with the feeling of a hare caught in a trap, you watch as he crosses the tiny space to stand in front of you. crowding you against the kitchenette with his imposing six foot three stature. though you want to shrink away, there is something about him that beckons you closer like the limitless, making you want to stay close to him and soak up more of his attention.

"ah, um- i bought these for you earlier today!" you blurt out to him in a hurried whisper, scrambling to reach for the decorated jar of lollipops you intended to gift to him tomorrow. "there's cream, melon, cotton candy, there's matcha too because i know you like-"

"you scared of me?" he wonders, but he accepts your distraction, plucking a cherry-flavored lollipop for himself, amused.

"no!"

he's very attractive without his blindfold, snowy peaks of hair sitting wild over his forehead. you watch as he unwraps the treat, tasting it for the first time like he's tasting you, his tongue working around it; swirling and licking it obscenely on purpose. waiting for that shift, the shameful press of your thighs even though you just had an orgasm. falling for it, you shyly avert your gaze and gojo fights down a smirk.

"there's no need to be nervous, you know," he soothes, hooking a finger under your chin. the deep croon of his voice curls down your spine, bubbling hot desire in your tummy. "i'm right here with you."

"i-i'm not nervous!" you say, wanting to reassure him that he is welcome even though a small voice tells you to run.

after all, haven't you heard the rumors about him?

compliment him in any busy ladies room and you'll summon rumors that gojo satoru picks cherries like a farmer. that gojo satoru fucks girls high in his penthouse, only to drop them low when he ushers them to the elevator hours later. that gojo satoru—

i don't believe it, and your naive schoolgirl crush on him bats those thoughts away.

"obviously a camgirl wouldn't be nervous, silly me," he nods, tone light and teasing. he tilts his head to the side as he reaches for you, thumb easing your silk robe apart. sensual as he pushes it off your shoulder, a shiver rolling down your spine. "did you mean what you said?"

"what do you mean?"

"in your stream," he hums, skimming up the curve of your neck. fingernails scraping lightly over your pulse, and his cock aches at the strangled sound you make. "when you begged me to touch you, fuck you. did you mean what you said, sweet girl?"

"the tipper... honoredone89..."

"was me, yes," he points to himself, smiling. it takes a little while for realization to dawn and he thinks you're too sweet. god, after he finishes breaking in your cunt, he wants to protect you from men like him for the rest of his life. only after, though. "expecting someone uglier?"

where you should feel mortification, you feel sticky and full of attraction for the older man in front of you. how many times did you fuck yourself on two fingers while watching couples on cam, imagining gojo was there and pressing your legs to your chest while he fucked the inexperience right out of you? how many times did you wish that snarky regular on your streams was actually him?

"g-gojo?" you call softly, peeking up at him through thick fans of lashes. twiddling your fingers together in a gesture so fucking cute, it makes his stomach churn. "can i ask you something?"

"hmm? go ahead."

"how many virgins have you fucked?"

"why? you wanna be my one and only?" he teases, a mocking grin set on his lips. "you're really a virgin... too sweet."

"i didn't say that! i.. it's the reason i started streaming. to learn more! it’s an experiment because i don't know how to make someone else feel good." you're babbling, the words rushing out too quickly as you fidget and grip the hem of your robe, looking down to avoid his eyes. "will you teach me?”

“if i teach you, don’t think i’ll go easy on you,” his grin is wicked before he reaches down to ruffle your hair, as if you’re a precious little gem to him. “it’s nothing to be ashamed of, sweetness. it just means i’ll really have to put my back into it!”

putting his back into it means fucking you absolutely dumb, but you don't need to know that yet.

the way he looks at you is an awakening. with a little burst of confidence, you make your own decision; burying your fingers into the collar of his jacket, bringing him down for your first kiss. it's a little awkward with the stick of lollipop in his mouth and your inexperience, teeth and stiff lips until he takes the lead. his lips feel like clouds and you want them everywhere, want to kiss him forever. sink his soft groans into your skin, keep the taste of candy flavored spit on your tongue for the rest of your days as he licks into your mouth, coaxing feelings out of you you've never felt before; kissing you into dizziness.

"please," you pull away, eyes begging— he only needs to be told once.

he takes it in stride, smirking around the stick of lollipop. he draws his hand down, fingers sliding under your bralette to toy with the doughy skin of your breast, rolling a nipple between two pads until the bud pebbles under his touch.

then his path switches, traveling lower and you know exactly where his hand is going. heart fluttering wildly, you whine and nervously press closer to him, hiding your face against the front of his jacket.

but you weren't stopping him, you didn't want to. curiosity coaxes your desire for gojo satoru out of its shell. the entire reason you started exploring the world of porn and cam shows, frustration and curiosity. most women your age had bloomed and blossomed. they were experienced while you felt left behind. never been taken on a date, never been kissed, never been fucked.

a clean slate for the taking.

"i wonder why you're so pretty, hm? been torturing me for months, sweet thing," gojo nudges your feet apart, tongue pushing out the lollipop for one last suck, his lips star candy pink. making you want to kiss him again. "want to taste you instead."

"you mean..."

"don't worry, i'll take good care of you," he gently plucks your hands from his jacket, lowering his lithe body to the floor in a fluid motion. he props one of your thighs over his shoulder, shamelessly spreading your pussy open for him.

cheeks heated, the sight of gojo staring between your legs with a ravenous glint in his eye is too much. your hands fly over your eyes, but he's not having it; reaching up to snatch them down. "good girls keep their eyes open, don't they? how will you learn?"

he hasn't even touched you and yet, lust buzzes an ache between your hips that is driving you crazy.

"good girls deserve to know what it looks like, what it feels like to have me right here,” he continues and leans in to press a trail of kisses to your inner thigh. nips and marks along the fleshiest parts, chuckling at your quiet yips. he slides a thumb between your folds, splitting them to play with your clit. you feel like falling as he circles between your thighs, a gasp hiccupping at the base of your throat before you choke it off.

"g-gojo-"

he builds the anticipation. getting you used to the motion of something familiar before he opens your pussy for business— the sweetest dessert all for him before the main course. "so what do you think? gonna let me taste how sweet this pussy is, angel?"

"what if you don't like the taste?" you hesitate, hand slipping into the milky clouds of his hair. "i-i heard that happens."

"trying to keep it all to yourself?" he teases, eyes shining as he crooks a smile at you. he indulges you with another feathery kiss to your thigh, his hand on your hip, caressing the skin lightly. "there's no way i won't like the taste of you. not when i have this-"

before you know it, he presses something warm and sticky to your clit, replacing his finger. when you realize just what it is, you whimper loudly.

"oh, oh god. y-you're supposed to use your fingers-" you point out halfheartedly. gojo drags the sugary ball of the lollipop against your clit in tantalizing swirls, smearing the sticky cherry syrup across your pussy and mixing it with your own juices.

"i'll clean up after myself, sweet thing," he reassures, nose pressed to the soft curls at your mound, breathing in your heady scent before he tips his head forward to taste you. this is his favorite part- the possessive feeling in his chest once a virgin is on his tongue, knowing he's the first one to look up and see heaven above him. to hear your soft whimpers and feel the unsure tremble of your thighs.

"how does it feel? you like it?" he asks, kissing your clit with a gentle suck that tightens the muscles in your tummy. he licks against you with skill, tongue a warm wetness over your clit. the feeling gojo pulls from you is all new, butterflies between your hipbones as your cunt flutters around emptiness.

"i think i like it, sir. i-it's so-" you whine, the honorific a slip up. ashamed to talk filth to a man you're assigned to bring oversweetened coffee to every morning. it's so easy talking to the men behind your camera. they're blank faces that pay for a performance and to be soaked in the right words. in person, in front of the man who brings you alive, your tongue is tied up in the heat he licks into your throbbing pussy.

"sir, huh?" you can feel his grin spread along your lower lips, his chuckle vibrating against your skin. he stiffens his tongue for a harder lick, quick flits that bathes your clit in bubbly spit, burning pleasure into your nerves that drives you to tears.

gojo's fingers press bruises into your squishy thighs, locking you in his strong hold. he trails the syrupy sphere of the sucker down to your drooling little hole, nudging until he slowly works the candy up into your pussy at the same time he sucks your clit back into his mouth.

you choke out a wet sob, your hands pushing at his shoulders. squirming and trembling, plush walls clamping down around the hard ball of the lollipop with a wince as he fucks it in slow, his eyes focused on the way your walls slurps it inside.

nothing could have prepared you for gojo satoru fucking you with a piece of candy.

"bet your fans would love to see this," he muses, releasing your puffy clit with a shameful pop, a trail of spit and slick connecting you to the sorcerer's chin. "you can barely handle a piece of candy. look at this cute little pussy struggling to take it."

he can't hide his arousal when you taste this good, smacking and slurping like his last meal on earth is between your legs. you release a frustrated whine when he removes the candy, but he appeases you with his tongue— dragging the pink muscle down to curl it into your pussy, the squishy feeling of it making you squeak and grip the edge of the counter behind you.

gojo mumbles a deep groan, tastes so fucking sweet, curling his tongue in and out of you languidly, your squeaks tapering off into breathy pants. he's running out of patience, your noises shooting straight to his leaking cock, but he's determined not to rush. he wants to savor your first time. savor the sweet taste of sugar combined with the earthy flavor of you.

he has to make it good so you remember him after you inevitably come to your senses and make him leave before he breaks your heart.

his palm moves up and lands on your breast, squeezing too hard but you whine for the twinge of pain, placing your hands over his larger one. you hold him like a lifeline as he makes good on his promise of cleaning you all up— drinking down every little drop of candy coated slick until you run dry, until the wet slide against your folds is because of his spit.

"i-i'm-" the stretch of his tongue is so good, your eyelashes wet as you chase the sensation. second orgasm on the brink with his skilled mouth licking and suckling over sensitive nerves. you could end it there, cum on his tongue and let him tuck you into bed after, but you've had enough of not knowing what it feels like to be manhandled down onto a bed, kissed slow, and fucked open by his cock.

you want it to be him and no one else.

"you close?" he reels back, lapping at the entrance to your heat, a tease that makes you cry out. blues flit up to look at you, gaze soft and patient even though his desperation to be inside you has him fraying at the seams. when you nod at him, pushing your hips forward, begging, he grins. "didn't you already cum tonight? who taught you to be so greedy, hmm?"

"i-i'm s-"

"you think you can hold it for me? no, i know you can. hold it for me baby. don't cum."

"n-no, don't! wanna cum, please please- wanna cum so bad!" but he's not hearing it. he pinches your clit meanly until the twinge of pain clouds over your orgasm, laughing lightly as you drive your fist into his shoulder in frustration, a hit that doesn't hurt him one bit.

he pats your mound with a smile but before he stands to his full height, he ghosts his sticky lips over your ankle as he sets your foot to the floor, teeth grazing the anklet you're wearing. a tender kiss that has no business making your heart flutter like that when he's so mean.

"i'll make sure of it, but right now i need you to save it for me, pretty princess. i promise it'll be so much better if you cum around my cock." the sorcerer whispers his filth to your ear, leaving wet kisses along the shell. is it normal for your knees to be so weak? "ain't that what you wanted earlier? want something to fill your pussy up, don't you?"

you're so shivery that you hold onto gojo like your life depends on it. feeling wet and used between your legs already.

somehow, you know that gojo satoru is above what you're able to handle. he's a grown man with years of fucking under his belt and you're an apprentice parading as a camgirl who just had your first kiss. but really, it hardly matters when you want him in too many ways to care anymore.

"i want it, want it so bad, please!" you chant, prepared to get on your knees and beg for it while this otherworldly attractive man grins down at you. you feel like sobbing when he listens, circling his arms under your thighs to lift you effortlessly. legs cling to his waist as he walks the few paces it takes to reach your bed, splaying you out amongst the pillows.

"then i'll give it to you, sweet thing. but first, i think you'd be more comfortable in a familiar setting, hmm?"

he wants to film your first time.

it's filthy and you should refuse, but it's also exactly what you daydreamed of. all those nights honoredone89 watched your streams, you wished he was actually there. in front of the camera with you, back to his chest while he stretched you wide on three fingers and claimed you as his for all of your viewers to see.

you're too shy to actually let your fans watch you be fucked by someone else, but you let him hit record on your laptop, the pink camera at the edge of your bed recording a private show for your eyes only, but giving you the illusion of a livestream nonetheless. "don't pay attention to the camera until i tell you to, okay? eyes on me."

after a small nod from you, he makes quick work of his uniform. unbuttoning his jacket to reveal broad planes of smooth ivory skin. shoving his slacks down, no underwear like you expected so his dick springs out, slapping warmth against your thigh.

it's easy to forget you're being filmed when you’re too busy gaping at him undressing. washboard abs taper off into a carved adonis belt dusted with moonlight hair. and with the eyes of a curious virgin, your gaze peeks down to his cock and it makes your tastebuds water. a perfect balance of long and girthy, the smooth tip blushing pretty and pink.

"can i touch it?" your dewy lashes flutter as you reach forward, wanting to know what the weight feels like in your hand. wanting to brush your fingers over the blue veins, maybe even dip your head down to lap up the pearly precum drooling from the head.

"nuh-uh, but you can feel it," he sucks his teeth in reprimand, catching your hand and brushing an affectionate kiss across your fingertips. "alright, sweetheart. how do you want it?"

"i-i always imagined i'd be on my stomach," you whisper, wanting to sink into your covers after voicing such a thing. a combination of your favorite fantasy position and wanting to hide your face from the camera.

"as you wish."

he obliges, gripping your waist and rolling you over for him, front pressed flat into the pillowy mattress. though your hips are caged in by gojo's strong thighs, you wriggle your legs back and forth, cutely tapping his lower back with your toes.

"i-i hear it's better like this." you mumble into the pillow under your cheek, just to get rid of the silence in the air.

he only laughs at your small talk, kissing your shoulder with care. "oh, sweet girl. i'll show you how much better it is."

nerves flutter in your tummy at that, but you trust him more than anything— more than the women who warned you not to harbor a crush on him. he straddles your thighs, reaching into the pocket of his discarded slacks.

you hear the crinkling of a foil packet being ripped, all the air whistling from your lungs in a shaky breath as you twist around, embarrassed; catching him about to roll a condom over his cock. "w-wait-"

"cold feet?"

"no," god, no. "i- please, you don't have to wear one of those."

"yeah?" gojo snorts with a growing smile, but he shrugs and tosses the protection aside, caution to the wind and no further questions on it. blood rushes to his head quick now, dizzy as he draws your hips up a little until your ass bumps against his stomach. you're so easy to move, so cute and weak, like feathers under him.

his patience was lost long ago, but he's a team player. he gathers the seat of your ass against his palms, a soft peach that jiggles when he squeezes and kneads to the song of your whines, his eyes hypnotized by the jeweled plug. "you've had this in for so long, princess." he draws a long finger down the line of your ass, tugging at the plug gently to see your hole spread. the remnants of the lube you used makes it an easy slide as he pulls it out. tossing it to the sheets.

he coos when you squirm away from him with a soft cry, hurts satoru, and he fucking loves the sound of his given name on your tongue. his thumb rubs over the puckered entrance to soothe the soreness. it would be so easy to sink his finger in, cock up next, but he'll save that for another night. "sorry, princess, i know. i'm just making room. i don't think you're ready to take both yet.. let me make it up to you."

gojo keeps your cheeks spread, slotting his cock in the tight space between your plump thighs. he pushes the thick cockhead through your sopping folds. you can feel the milky pearls of precum smearing along your thighs and cunt with his thrusts, a wet slide right against your heat but it's not enough. "p-please-"

"f-fuck, sweetheart. how are you gonna fit me inside you? look at this."

he's mean for teasing a virgin so much, but he can't help himself. he glances up at the recording laptop; the cam feed showing him your face pressed into the pillows, writhing all over your pretty sheets. fuck, you look so good. he's used to breaking in the starstruck beauties who flock to him, but he plays favorites now— fearing that once he truly has you, you’ll never let go of his heart, his cock.

"i don't- oh god- i don't know, but i want to try, sir," you breathe out through your whines, the honorific only baiting him into getting your way, a true performer. "p-please let me try!"

"such a good girl, even when your fans aren't watching. if you want it, take it then. put it in for me," he almost pleads, wanting to see that you want this just as much and you fucking do. too teased out to feel the jitters fluttering in your heart. you reach behind you, hand fumbling to wrap around his girth. skin feverish after hearing his heavy intake of breath— oh, you did that to him. satoru ducks his head to grip your chin and kiss all over your face, heated presses of his lips reserved for a lover. a distraction for you both as you guide his cockhead to nudge at the entrance of your pretty virgin cunt—

your eyes mist over, crystalline tears clinging to your lashes; losing focus after his hips sink forward. hiding your face in the sheets again, you muffle the depraved whimpers you hiccup out as gojo's cock forces your walls to spread open just for him. white heat slicking your body with sweat as you squirm under him on the bed. he's so fucking long, and he chuckles when you slide a hand down to your stomach to make sure you can't feel him there, too. he feeds you his cock slow so you feel every inch of him, bullying a spot to sit right up against your womb.

"t-too big- oh 'm god, it's too big satoru!"

"you cryin' f' me, baby?" oh, he is aching. no room in the little space your pussy gives him. he struggles to breathe, hair sticking to his forehead as he fights for his composure. he wants to treat you tenderly, break you in the right way, but you're a hot brand around his cock, sucking him in so good it drives him wild.

"s-satoru-"

"you feel that? much better than your toys, isn't it?" he kneels, pinning one hand over your back to keep you in place. "you can take it, cutie. just ease up for me a little, i've got you."

you try to relax, eyes shut and sheets bitten into your mouth. you've never felt anything like it— the intrusion of his cock builds a pressure that none of your toys could've prepared you for. an overwhelmingly tight fit, you feel too full, in over your head. pussy staining his cock with frothy slick as he draws his hips back for an experimental thrust, an emptiness that makes you whine loudly for him to fill you up again.

"talk to me, tell me how it feels, angel."

"o-oh- i don't... i don't know-" you gasp, leaning up on your elbows, a sensual dip in your back, the way you've seen the girls on the nsfw accounts you follow pose. the webcam films your fucked out expression and you're too cock hungry to care about it now, watching it shamelessly on the screen of your laptop.

"can't talk?" gojo taunts, digging his nails into the skin of your ass as he levels his weight into his hips and fucks forward. heavy, deep snaps that furrows your brow cutely, determined as you try your best to take him like you imagine the experienced women who are used to the oppressive force of his cock do.

"want me to slow down?" he asks softly, a little worried. after all, it wouldn't be the first time his dick knocked someone out. but you shake your head rapidly and he cackles, pairing that insane sound with deeper thrusts, sharp hipbones rutting against the back of your ass as he bottoms out again— too deep.

"wan' see your face, please 'toru, please," you blubber into the sheets, but his keen hearing picks it up anyway. stopping is the hardest thing ever, but he pulls out; pushes you onto your back with a hiss.

"can't believe you wanna watch me break in this cute little pussy. what changed?" he goads, but he doesn't wait for your answer. "you know what to do."

shyly, you wriggle down the bed until your hips are flush against his, reaching between the sweaty shadow of your bodies to handle his damp cock again. the stretch is no easier to take the second time, but you know what it feels like. pining for the slight twinge, the hot burn as he spreads sweet fire through your nerves. the weight of his cock fucking your pussy open in slow, teasing thrusts that leaves you whining.

"don't go easy on me-"

satoru listens instantaneously, pounding you roughly as he nips and marks your sweaty skin as his, little love bites along your neck you'll have to cover in the morning. something he never does, but call him attached to you now. "that's all you needed, ain't it? you don't want those sick fucks watching you. just wanted me to make a mess of this pretty pussy."

"y-yes!" you cry against his shoulder and he buries his nose against the pulse point at your neck, inhaling sweet gulps of sex and perfume. a grunt kicks out of his chest as he leaves you, leaning back on his heels to fuck harder, your fingers flying to his forearms as he grips your waist, tugging you forward onto his cock to meet his thrusts.

you become a victim to his skilled fucking, to the harsh slap of his hips that a virgin has no business taking. thighs trembling up a storm, desperately trying to close as his cockhead drags along your gummy walls on the quick pull out, fucking your nerves to a red glow.

"you're so good for me, best girl. so good. keep these legs nice and spread for me so i can fuck this pussy the way she deserves."

neither of you pay attention to the blinking red light of your webcam, too lost in the throes of good fucking. satoru can't keep his eyes off of you as you wriggle desperately underneath him. you're a mess; lips swollen and slicked with spit from your lolling tongue, hair splayed out all over your sanrio pillows while you stare up at him through teary, lidded eyes with the most fucked out look of adoration for the man pounding you, he almost feels guilty.

"s'toru.. satoru- w-will i get to cum again? it feels so- but i can't-"

he loses his final thread of sanity at your little pants and whines of his name. "some girls need it right here, d... don't they, sweet girl?" he says, stuttering when your pussy clenches him in on a good stroke. slick squelches out of you, staining your favorite sheets in a gooey puddle. it's how he knows his cock is fucking you at the right angle, brushed up against that precious spot nestled along your walls. your back arches high off the sheets when he hits it, but a big palm at your belly presses you down, refusing to let you run.

"it feels better right here, too," he tells you, his hand shifting down. drawing sticky shapes of his initials under the hood of your sore, puffy clit— and you've touched yourself enough times to know what the feeling means. the pooling of sweet heat in your belly, the giddy waves of dopamine swirling in your nerves as a man throws you into your peak for the first time. "feel it yet? yeah you do. cum for me like a good fucking girl, make a mess of my cock like it's yours, pretty girl. give it to me."

you're sobbing for him, clinging to him as if he can protect you from the force of your own orgasm. tears welling up in your big eyes as the knot in your tummy bursts so suddenly and you cum, walls fluttering around satoru's cock so tight it pains him to thrust through it. no thought in your pretty mind except the relentless pressure he fucks out of your body. overstimulation sets in too quick and you push at his stomach frantically as your juices splash onto the sheets, wetting all over his hand and bathing down the white trail of hair on his stomach. "i-it's too much, wait-"

"fucking.. fuck, princess- let me go or ‘m gonna cum inside you.. you're sucking me in so tight. f-fuck!" he is only seconds behind you, remembering at the last minute to draw back on his heels and pull his cock out of your weeping pussy. you're still shaking in the aftermath of the best orgasm you've ever had but he’s pinching your puffy lips between his pointer and thumb. it only takes a few rubs of his cock through your swollen folds before he whines low in his throat, grunting and tossing his head back as he spills thick ropes of opaque cum all over your pretty crotchless panties and ruined pussy.

"o-oh.. there's so much of it-" you marvel and when he opens his eyes again on the come down, hips kicking weakly now, he sees you reaching down to run your fingers through the cum he left between your thighs, pinching his sticky seed between your fingers curiously.

you're going to be the fucking death of him.

"yeah, that happens," he chuckles with no breath in his lungs, no energy to tease you about it. he is too dignified to collapse on the bed with a softening dick, in need of a long ass nap, so he leans forward and pets the roots of your hair softly. "you need anything? besides a bath and your diary to give me raving reviews, of course.”

"i..." you start, sitting up and reaching for the closest thing that can cover you besides the stained sheets of your bed: gojo's uniform jacket. you drape it around your front, looking away to hide the vulnerability in your eyes. "can you stay until i fall asleep? you can leave after but.. i don't.."

don't be greedy, is what he would usually tell a woman asking him to sleepover after he's snatched her innocence up and fucked her into a limp. but with you, the sinking feeling in his chest, the months of pocketing your hidden smiles and shy flirtations to think about during his darkest hours, tells him only one thing: he wouldn't have left even if you asked him to.

"i'm not going anywhere."

gojo experiences a first tonight, too. for the first time ever, he doesn't run.

instead, he stays. cleans you up with a warm towel and eases you into clean underwear, though you insist on wearing his jacket as pajamas. he even helps you change your soaked sheets ( with insufferable comments asking if he can keep them. ) you don't know what it means when a man stays after being your first, but your heart feels too warm and a little bit in lo—

"what's that sound?"

you're about to tuck into bed, ready to snuggle in safe and sound with gojo watching over you when his voice speaks up. now that your post-orgasmic haze has cleared a little, you hear it too. the quiet chime of the tip and chat bells ringing wildly from your still open laptop.

the camera at the end of your bed blinking lipstick red from its perch on the tripod.

like.boobs.97 chatted: that bastard is so lucky.

"oh... oh, no!" you squeal, scrambling to shut the laptop down, face burning with mortification. you should have checked, you should have checked. you have to help satoru with his emails in the morning, why did you trust him to click the right button?

you've been streaming to your viewers on the cam site the entire time.

"whoops," is all gojo says, carefree and flippant as ever as he moves to stretch out across your bed like an oversized unbothered cat, drawing you against his body.

"so, you gonna introduce me as your new boyfriend or what?"

stream viewers: @atsumeii ┊ @bbyatsumu ┊@yuujispinkhair ┊@danibby

It's really beautiful in my head sometimes,

It's just that I have bittersweet butterflies that hate me as much as I hate them. It's an aesthetically pleasing place, I just hope too much, the sun's low and the stars fly far away, they're afraid.

-unknown

My mind is fucking with me again help

"Golz was gay and he had wanted him (Jordan) to be gay too before he left, but he hadn't been"

For Whom the Bell Tolls (1941) by Ernest Hemingway

HOLY FUCK THIS IS SO FUCKEN C O O O L

👑 eVil Queen👑 

Vil fanart I painted for his chapter release a while ago

Twitter | Instagram | Deviant Art | Shop

My Mind

Jagged and yearning.

Frozen but burning. 

The pages are turning.

This isn’t hurting. 

Vivid emotions,

Such as love and devotion. 

I fear to feel them.

This is my mind. 

Sometimes blanking.

Sometimes imagining. 

Consistent aching. 

This is my mind.

Darkness without light. 

A world upside down, 

Where wrong is right. 

An endless fight.

This is my mind. 

My mind is this;

A swing and a miss. 

A loveless kiss. 

A feline hiss. 

Hot spring mist. 

An agitated, shaking fist.

This and that, 

Is My Mind. 

- (d.n.k) 

Nothingness

Sometimes I wish I could just melt into nothingness

become a spec of dust and drift away in the breeze

Be carried far away from pain and torment,

Finally free to do as I please.

It's dark here and so very cold

how did I get here I was so full of life

and yet I am not old

My body is not damaged or weak

my bones are not broken, they do not creak.

And yet, as I sit and think my mind consumes me

it is my soul that is weak and broken

my mind that is damaged

it plays like a skipping record,

over and over and over and over again

not enough and too much all at once

a never ending loop,

over whelmed and drowning in nothingness

always dark, black all consuming nothingness.

The Scary Place

It is a scary place. My mind.                                                                                  A madhouse.                                                                                                          A circus.                                                                                                                  A laboratory.                                                                                                            A burning house.                                                                                                      A prison.                                                                                                                A funhouse mirror room.                                                                                          There is nowhere to run.                                                                                        Nowhere to hide.                                                                                                  Anyone stuck in here would go mad.                                                                      I'm sure you understand.                                                                                          No, you couldn't. No one can.                                                                                  I am not insane.                                                                                                 Just driven to it by being trapped in here for 14 years and counting.                      My thoughts hunt me down. Bully me. Push me. Break me. 

It is a scary place, my mind.                                                                                I am terrified to be left alone here.                                                                        Left alone with these thoughts.                                                                            No longer my own.                                                                                                Were they ever?                                                                                                 How can such vicious things come from me?                                                          These screaming, yelling, screeching things.                                                    They reverberate through my skull.                                                                         Until I cover my ears and beg for mercy.

And

There 

Is

None. 

I scream.                                                                                                                Till the shouting is all I hear.                                                                                    Echoing off these in-shatterable walls.                                                                  Drowning me.                                                                                                 Drowning out everything. Everyone. 

It is a scary place, my mind.                                                                                 A torture chamber.                                                                                                An isolation cell.                                                                                                      A black hole.                                                                                                            I am petrified to be left alone with myself.                                                                Lest these thoughts kill me.

Please

Don’t

Leave.

@writerscreed

It seems I'm no longer living. Thoughts of doom pass through the gates of my mind with ease and transform themselves into my own demise. With no particular influence as I avoid all forms of ferity! I physically consume all peace! Of course that is my intent. However, curiosity is embedded in the very nature of mankind. Given the reality of our survival, as well as our fall as humans, curiosity is a major part of human nature. (Not to mention our social being and the physical inability to avoid disruption of peace while living in an urban environment.) So is it an ingrained presence in my DNA? I have no doubts of that holding full truth. My past has influence for sure. That is not an excuse! I've always, for the greatest part of my adolescence, isolated myself from social events to the best of my ability! Maybe that was my downfall!

They dare utter for me to let go of the past while the past echoes thunderously and cyclically around my mind! Like a storm system in our atmosphere, thoughts developing and appearing sporadically. Some thoughts developing as white clouds representing themselves as calm, happy, peaceful, beautiful, loving, and cherishable memories. Some clouds dissipate into fine nothingness leaving a pure view and give full and absolute serenity! White clouds and clear skies are the mental states that are preferable. Although we should not be trapped in the nostalgia that is the white clouds of our mind, they in no way cause us harm and even have an extremely almost enchanting quality. But worst, and inevitably so, appear the grey or dark clouds which float over with an obstreperous approach and dicey presence, often raining down on my parade as it were or even causing physical damage, with lightning that is my bad thoughts, to the body that contains my earth which is my brain.

Whether the damage is inherent as a chemical reaction and result of stress or it's self inflicted. Both are one in the same as they both cause turmoil within my temple on molecular level,thus, ultimately having an effect on my overall being and the beings which are close to me. Those beings will indeed continue to flourish, as I purely hope, despite my mental or physical demise. My brain, like Earth, sits and awaits the next storm as I KNOW it is coming. My conscious mind, like earth, also contains internal molten self destructive fire! But like Earth's tectonic processes, my brain's surface heals, though seeming smooth on the surface, underneath that surface awaits the constantly destructive and ever ferocious magma that is the negative of my past!

Is it my avoiding to fit in with others the cause of my misery? I am puzzled seeking for such answers! From the constant terrifying intrusive and unwanted thought of human fragility to the constant thought of naturally ingrained, no matter the level, of barbarism in myself and fellow human! We all contain it! It is a part of us! I have become completely and absolutely despondent! Not only by my own regretfully unwanted self deterioration, but ultimately because of my perception of mankind! That itself is sickening to me as I know that is not the majority! Or is it!? I am in great distress as a result of my coming to such a pass. The larger part of my waking life I spend in bewildered introspection, if not in reverie, of my unwanted and ineffable indulgence! My condition of being human is unavoidable! I am beside myself by my mental and my inability to find a balance within it. With this being said I'd very much prefer to not exist.

I want my unconditional love for every one to be transparent, but my lack of hope for myself casts a false reflection which ultimately disables my message of love I have for others, in particular, to my relatives. With this being a part of a sunrise to sun down cycle, I am completely exhausted.

I no longer want to be.

Me: (painfully crying while alone on my day of birth)

My mind: Chill out bro. God is with you

Me: (painfully crying while rocking back and forth to comfort myself from the darkest of memories while alone in my apartment)

My mind: Jesus said time will heal all wounds

Me: I don't know if I will ever heal. Life's been a lonely rollercoaster of highs with very LOW downs and whiplashing turns. Healing seems far off even impossible. (Scary intrusive thoughts of my past selfharm, seemingly from nowhere suddenly)

My mind: Satan is trying to get the best of you on a day that you are supposed to be celebrating the life that He gave you.

Me: (feeling guilty for being ungrateful of life and for past thoughts of the same likeness ie: "life is unfair" "I was dealt an ugly hand in this game of life" "I should have died years ago" "I died years ago" "You could have saved your grandfather's life" "Your a failure" "YOUR A WEIRDO" "You don't deserve friends or life or family" " you don't deserve happiness"...[just a few, the list of thoughts are endless].

My mind: those thoughts are from Satan who seeks to steal kill and destroy. Don't give him that sort of power over your mind. You are loved whether you believe it or not.

Me: not true. I don't feel loved...possibly because in a way I don't love myself.

My mind: psalm 3:5-6 says "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths."

Me: .......😑🥲😌

My mind: relax..God is a loving God and loves you. You are are here for a reason you're just not sure why yet. You're not alone. You made it to see another birthday when many times you almost didn't...relax. You are loved and blessed even if you dont think or believe so.

Me: I believe so. It's just often times I don't feel so because the way life turned out. The dark moments of confusion self hate selfharm suicideattempts or depression.

My mind: Those tribulations are only in place to make you lean more on God's word. They are dark feelings, thoughts, moments and situations ; but God's Word is a SWORD and the Word cuts through all of the lies that the world tries to throw in our faces. Don't believe the lies. You are loved whether you believe it or not. Your demise would hurt others, particularly if you hurt yourself like your grandfather did to himself. You loved and still love him dont you? Well how do you think it would make others feel if you were to take yourself away from here? It would hurt them; no matter how much you feel you "deserve to die"..you don't deserve to die. You are loved. Don't believe the hype of satan. He's approached you in many forms and has made you lose battles you never thought you'd lose. But you haven't lost the war. God is in charge. This may be satans terrain, but this is ultimately God's DOMAIN. You are loved. Try your best not to forget that. You love heavy, your heart is big, and when that big heart hurts it hearts bad; but it's ok. You are meant to love the way you do. Satan may have you confused about love and who does or doesn't love you, or who does or doesn't care about you. But one thing that is certain is that God loves you still whether you believe it or not.

Thanks, Anon!

-submit your poll!-

I hate the fact that Tumblr deleted my previous account with the same name....

Why ? 'Tumbrl is not a place to glorify selfharm.'

Wrong name...I call it safe place....so where can I do that ? If you give me a name I will go there...now I will do that here

I miss ONE day on Tumblr and here u r with 69 messages in my dms

Hehe...69...

*thunder crackling*

THOU ART LISTENING TO

*fireball explosion*

102.3

*bubbling cauldron*

REAL WIZARDS FM

*shimmering mana crystal*

WHERE WE PLAYETH NOTHING BUT CHANTS, CHANTS, AND MORE CHANTS

*wololo*

THIS ART NOT THINE ELDER MATRIARCH'S STATION

*Imagine Dragons - Radioactive starts playing*

i think jon should get to go full beric as a treat. not just in the sense of being a zombie but also in having his own little robin hood band of loyal brothers going on stealth missions and whatnot that call themselves the real night’s watch

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

ᨒ↟ Longing the Mountains ᨒ↟ ⋆｡°

August 21, 2024 Wednesday 🧚🏻‍♀️☾⋆˚˖° Dear Reader, To me, the mountains always feel homely wherever I am. They are my home in my heart. A home which feels as warm as a hug and as comforting as a touch that tells me everything will be alright. The mountains always teach me something new. It is this special connection for which the hills keep me alive. An invisible thread that makes me beholden to those bewitching hills binds us together. The foggy thickets in hilly regions pull me towards themselves as if they are drawing me home. I will always go back home - the place where I belong truly, not the chaos of city life, but the slow and serene life in the mountains. My soul feels hollow, whenever I am not in the mountains. My life seems to move aimlessly and my thoughts are always swirling around in my head, looking for a home, very far away from home, a home away from home, but still not being able to find the way back home. When is it time for me to go back home! Will I be going back home!? Once more, when can I come back? ⋆｡°ᨒ↟↟ᨒ↟ᨒ↟↟ᨒ⋆˚

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅

What if fairies are real? 

What if fairies live amongst you and me? 

Or, maybe we all have a fairy within us.

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆°°✩ ᭝ଓ ՟ 𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𐙚 ࣪ ⭒

For the longest moment I thought someone put this poor baby chameleon in a condom and I thought "dude, that is way too late to prevent birth."

Baby chameleon

(via)