I Really Like Reading Ed's Story As A Trans Narrative. I Know There's A Great Posible Read Of The Slide

I really like reading Ed's story as a trans narrative. I know there's a great posible read of the slide into the Kraken era as a detransitioning narrative, but personally I prefer interpreting it as a forced return to being extremely careful about passing.

I love to read Ed as a trans man because it's so fucking juicy, and because the urge to lean hard into hyper-masculinity is such a common one among trans guys. You feel like you have to be the perfect man in order to be seen as a "real" man, and I see this so strongly in Ed. I mean, he named himself after his beard!

And then there's Stede, and he's a guy with an undeniably more feminine affect to how he presents himself. We know Ed doesn't just like softer things because he wants to fit in with Stede, he wishes he was the kind of person that got to have it. It reminds me of being younger, before I could pass, and wishing I could wear a skirt and be seen as a man in a skirt. And Stede helps Ed feel like he's safe to explore his gender presentation a bit - he puts flowers in his hair and little bows in his beard, dressing up his masculinity with a bit of femininity.

When Ed comes back to the ship after Stede abandons him, having a safe space to explore his gender expression seems like it brought him a lot of comfort. He writes song lyrics, wears a soft pink robe, and paints his nails with glittery pink polish. And, yes, none of these things are inherently gendered, of course, but they're not things that you get to have when you're trying to live up to some ideal of hyper-masculinity.

Through this lens, what Izzy tells Ed in s1e10 isn't just, like, really mean and homophobic, it also feels like all those transphobes who tell you they won't respect your gender unless you pass to their standards. "Namby-pamby in a silk gown" hits harder because it feels like Izzy is digging into Ed's femininity. It feels like he's telling Ed that he's not a real man unless he performs masculinity to Izzy's standard, and if Ed dares to be a feminine trans man, he's not safe.

Ed's slide into the Kraken era feels to me like a return to him focusing on passing perfectly as the ideal man, because sometimes when you're a trans guy you feel a lot safer when you feel like you're taking away all the ammunition anyone could possibly use to question if you're really your gender. He paints on a beard, which just screams beard dysphoria - I imagine Ed's gender dysphoria in that regard got a lot worse after Izzy yelled at him.

(One of my favorite little things about this read? Ed only wears full-fingered gloves until the start of s2, when we see him wearing fingerless gloves again, and I like to think that's so he could hide his painted nails.)

When Ed's at his absolute lowest, he gives himself one last indulgence, looking at the cake toppers and imagining a happy life with the man he loves. And he's painted his to look like himself, a bearded brown man in a dress. Fuck if that's not just the fantasy for a lot of trans guys who like to wear more feminine clothing, being able to be a man in a dress without being seen as any less of a 'real man' for it.

the priest from fleabag is like such an interesting character to me, because we know him so well, but we know absolutely nothing about him. and the glimpses that we do get of his life are so fucking fascinating. like, both of his parents being alcoholics. or, or the pedophile older, brother? the thing with the foxes. the fact that he himself is an addict (like he’s clearly an alcoholic like his parents, but it’s implied that before he was celibate, he also had similar issues with sex as fleabag does.) one of the things that makes the ending of fleabag so difficult is that we really don’t get any closure with him. we spend what feels like forever with him and just leave with more questions. he was just lonely. so lonely. but so was she. and just for a little bit, neither of them were lonely anymore. but now they are again.

hello, i'm an autistic lesbian with bipolar disorder. about a month ago during thanksgiving weekend i had to go to the ER due to low blood pressure and chronic gastrointestinal issues. i nearly passed out several times. all of this happened because i was home alone- my parents left me alone thanksgiving weekend to watch their dogs while they went to disney world.

now i'm in medical debt. my insurance refuses to cover the needed amount and i can't afford the remaining cost. please help by donating to my ko-fi here.

I AM GOING TO BE KICKED OUT IN 6 MONTHS AND I AM NOT MAKING MONEY FAST ENOUGH TO BE ABLE TO AVOID HOMELESSNESS

hey girls its me again. ill.. try to keep this brief? as brief as i can atleast.

if you havent seen my previous posts, hi, my name is delilah, im an autistic transgirl system with ptsd thats living in an abusive household where im barely fed and am constantly miserable, and to top it all off, the second my birthday hits on JUNE 1 2024, i am going to be kicked out. i want to make around $2000 dollars before then, but i only have about $350 right now. at my current rate, i wont be able to reach my goal, and i dont know how im going to get housing if i dont. to repeat in big text so people pay attention:

if i do not get about $1700 more in donations before june 1 2024, i am going to be homeless.

im trying.. really hard to not give up but its looking bleak. because i live in a small town in texas where everyone knows that im an autistic trans loser, ive been unable to get a job, and ive been forced to do this. i dont enjoy being forced to rely on other people's kindness, but its the best and atp really the only option i have.

C*SH*PP - @delilahswagga

P*YP*L - @delilahkill

i make pixel art too! dm me if youre interested, i do most things including furries/anthros, humans, chibi/dolls, backgrounds and scenes, and small animations

a lot of scams claiming things like this have been going around, so ill talk about myself some. click the readmore if you want to read that.

i have a really big love for performing, i fell in love with theatre years ago and performed the addams family musical as fester about a month ago as my biggest role on stage yet, and right now im in the process of getting ready for antigone as teiresius. i love music, and its one of my life goals to learn as many instruments as possible, and currently i own quite a few, though my favorites are my two ukuleles and my super cool electric guitar. i have 8 partners at the moment, and i have a very big desire to one day live with as many of them as i can. i pride myself on being the best partner i can be, and its been my goal to make all my partner's lives better (and i think ive been doing a good job at it :3)

i love cats an extreme amount, ive never had a cat myself (because my dad is insane and hates cats and tries to hit cats with his truck) but being around cats makes me super happy and always makes my anxieties go away, even when im having an anxiety attack or a panic attack. i really hope i can get a few cats one day, and i want to give them all silly food names :) my fursona is kind of a reflection of that, her name is bagel. some cat names ive thought of are mochi, chili, Supreme Pizza, or maybe french fry :)

im not sure if ill be able to achieve any of my goals if i dont get the financial support i need. ive been.. really close to giving up recently, but i dont want to have to do that, so im going to fight like this for as long as i can.

Proud to be Autistic!

The Autistic Teacher

I AM GOING TO BE KICKED OUT IN 6 MONTHS AND I AM NOT MAKING MONEY FAST ENOUGH TO BE ABLE TO AVOID HOMELESSNESS

hey girls its me again. ill.. try to keep this brief? as brief as i can atleast.

if you havent seen my previous posts, hi, my name is delilah, im an autistic transgirl system with ptsd thats living in an abusive household where im barely fed and am constantly miserable, and to top it all off, the second my birthday hits on JUNE 1 2024, i am going to be kicked out. i want to make around $2000 dollars before then, but i only have about $350 right now. at my current rate, i wont be able to reach my goal, and i dont know how im going to get housing if i dont. to repeat in big text so people pay attention:

if i do not get about $1700 more in donations before june 1 2024, i am going to be homeless.

im trying.. really hard to not give up but its looking bleak. because i live in a small town in texas where everyone knows that im an autistic trans loser, ive been unable to get a job, and ive been forced to do this. i dont enjoy being forced to rely on other people's kindness, but its the best and atp really the only option i have.

C*SH*PP - @delilahswagga

P*YP*L - @delilahkill

i make pixel art too! dm me if youre interested, i do most things including furries/anthros, humans, chibi/dolls, backgrounds and scenes, and small animations

a lot of scams claiming things like this have been going around, so ill talk about myself some. click the readmore if you want to read that.

i have a really big love for performing, i fell in love with theatre years ago and performed the addams family musical as fester about a month ago as my biggest role on stage yet, and right now im in the process of getting ready for antigone as teiresius. i love music, and its one of my life goals to learn as many instruments as possible, and currently i own quite a few, though my favorites are my two ukuleles and my super cool electric guitar. i have 8 partners at the moment, and i have a very big desire to one day live with as many of them as i can. i pride myself on being the best partner i can be, and its been my goal to make all my partner's lives better (and i think ive been doing a good job at it :3)

i love cats an extreme amount, ive never had a cat myself (because my dad is insane and hates cats and tries to hit cats with his truck) but being around cats makes me super happy and always makes my anxieties go away, even when im having an anxiety attack or a panic attack. i really hope i can get a few cats one day, and i want to give them all silly food names :) my fursona is kind of a reflection of that, her name is bagel. some cat names ive thought of are mochi, chili, Supreme Pizza, or maybe french fry :)

im not sure if ill be able to achieve any of my goals if i dont get the financial support i need. ive been.. really close to giving up recently, but i dont want to have to do that, so im going to fight like this for as long as i can.