Humans Are Weird: Adaptability

Humans are weird: Adaptability

( Please come see me on my new patreon and support me for early access to stories and personal story requests :D https://www.patreon.com/NiqhtLord Every bit helps)

The assembly hall at the institute of learning on Praxos III was one of the finest halls in the entire system. Easily able to handle over a thousand beings it was specifically designed to allow anyone up on stage the ability to speak to the very back of the rows without the need for technology to boost their voice. A rather convenient feature as today the hall was packed to capacity.

A dozen hushed conversations mingled together as those gathered waited for the speaker of the day. They had come from across the planet and even as far away as the outer colonies all for a chance to hear the subject that had captivated their entire species.

As the voices continued to rise and fall like the tide of the ocean the lights began to dim and a lone figure stepped on to the stage. The crowd’s conversations died away and were replaced by the thunderous roar of applause that shook the hall.

Upon reaching center stage the speaker raised up their hands for quiet and the applause slowly pattered out until once more the hall was silent.

“My name is Ozma Dalhime,” the speaker began as their voice echoed throughout the entire hall, “and I hold the position of head researcher of alien lifeforms here at the institute.”

Behind Ozma a large screen slowly descended from the ceiling and the lights of the hall went completely dark save for the lone light on the speaker.

“In my time here I have come to find many interesting and seemingly farfetched life forms that have been discovered across the galaxy, but none as fascinating and frustrating as the one we are here to speak about today.”

At this the projector turned on and a large image of a strange creature appeared on the large screen. Several oh’s and ah’s came from the crowd as the image came into full view.

“This,” Ozma said, “is a human.”

The images began cycling through several different pictures of humans. Some were male, some were female, some had long hair, some had short, some were pale as a ghost, and some were as dark as the starry skies. Dozens of different photos went by, each unique and different from those that came before, leaving many to wonder how such a chaotic species could have survived for so long.

“Born in the Milky Way galaxy on a rather hostile planet they have creatively called “Dirt”,” the professor continued to the amused chuckles of the crowd, “they have survived countless generations of strife to now become one of the most recognizable species carving their way through the cosmos.”

Ozma paused for a moment and looked over the audience.

“Can any of you tell me why?”

The crowd was silent save for a few murmurs between groups here and there, but no one spoke up.

“I hope when you came to my lecture you didn’t expect me to do all the talking.” Ozma replied happily as he walked back and forth across the stage. “Come on, why do you think humans have survived for this long?”

Ozma saw a lone hand rise from the third row and motioned for the holder to stand up.

“Because they can breathe fire?” they remarked, drawing a rousing laughter from the crowd.

Ozma gave no sign of similar mocking behavior and simply nodded.

“They certainly can seem that way when you make one angry, as I can attest from first-hand experience.” Ozma said. “Does anyone else have an answer?”

Another hand rose further back in the crowd and again Ozma motioned for them to stand up.

“Because of their barbarity?” the second speaker said, this time drawing hushed tones of agreement from those around them.

“You certainly are closer to the answer.” Ozma said, motioning for the crowd to quiet. “When provoked an individual human can draw upon fits of strength that often will destroy their own body, but in the moment they wouldn’t even notice it until their body collapsed completely like a puppet whose strings have been cut.”

Many of the crowd had heard stories of human soldiers lost in this blood madness on the battlefield and had continued fighting even after a majority of their body was covered in third degree burns, who showed no fear when facing down a hive swarm single handedly with nothing but a crude slug thrower and harsh language, that even could wrestle a Draxic warrior into submission despite being half their size.

“In my many travels there is one quality of humans that has superseded their natural, and at times unnatural, strength and is the corner stone of their very being and the reason they have thrived amongst the stars.”

The crowd leaned in as Ozma stopped himself for dramatic effect, smiling to himself before revealing his answer.

“What makes humans interesting, is their adaptability.”

Whatever the crowd had been expecting this certainly was not it. Through the bright lights Ozma could see a few of the guests in the front row showing faces of disbelief, full of questions they thought they knew the answers too already.

“Across my years of travel I have never come upon a species that was so capable of enduring the rigorous extremes that the universe had to offer.” Ozma began, pacing the stage once more.

“I have seen them create homes for themselves on planets with suns that could melt flesh from bone in minutes, on planets so cold that the liquid of your eyes would flash freeze if exposed for even a moment; even on planets devoid of sunlight and filled with creatures of such horrific nature one would believe they were taken straight from the pages of a children’s book have I found them sitting around camp fires laughing into the night.”

Ozma turned and sat on a waiting stool on the stage to catch his breath. He sipped from a water container under the stool for a moment before setting it back down and continuing.

“When I was in the Gamma Belt I found myself waylaid at a space station waiting for the next shuttle out of the system.” Ozma began, his mind reliving the memories as if it had just been yesterday. “I wandered the hallways for days while I waited and came upon many unsavory characters of questionable intent along the way; safe to say I kept my purse string held close for much of the adventure there.”

“During my third day aboard the station I came across one of the most interesting people I have ever met.”

Ozma couldn’t help but chuckle to himself as he recounted that strange man. “Their name was Oliver Reid and he owned a small food kart that was nestled on the lower levels of the station.”

“A scruffy human for sure standing no taller than me and missing a hand and an eye, he served a dish made from fresh Razor fish he kept in a nearby tank and prepared right before your eyes.”

A couple gasps came from the crowd at this. Razor fish were some of the most violent of aquatic life that had been discovered so far. Their spines were covered in long protruding spines so sharp that they could cut through metal when provoked.

“When I first met Oliver I could hardly believe his notion that he could somehow provide a dish out of such a violent creature, which he seemed to take offense to and promptly challenged me to a wager.” Ozma continued. “He said if I liked the meal he prepared that I would pay three times what was asked, and that if I didn’t I could eat it for free.”

“Intrigued by the human’s confidence I agreed to the wager and I bore witness to one of the most extraordinary feats I have ever seen come from the creation of a dish.”

“Without skipping a beat the human pulled out a sharpened wooden fork as long as a forearm and strapped it to his missing limb as he approached the tank holding the razor fish; closing his eye for just a moment and without hesitating stabbed the wooden fork into the pot and skewered a razor fish, killing it instantly.”

As Ozma regaled the crowd with his story they could not help but notice the tinges of excitement dotting the professors voice here and there.

“Here was a creature dubbed one of the most lethal killers of the oceans and a human missing an arm and an eye was able to kill it without even flinching.”

“What was even more impressive was that they were indeed able to create a dish worthy of renown that I gladly paid three times for.” Ozma finished as he saw a hand rise from the crowd.

“What does that have to do with their adaptability?” the guest asked. “Truly it is an impressive feat, but I fail to see how it relates.”

Ozma took in the question before standing back on his feet. “As I was eating the dish I learned that the reason Oliver had lost an eye and a hand was from his previous attempts to prepare the razor fish.”

“The first time he had tried his would be entrée sliced through his hand like it was butter and swiftly ate it before he could recover and reattach the appendage; while he had lost his eye on the thirteenth attempt when a spine punctured his eye after getting too close.”

The crowd collectively gasped in horror, one near the back even vacating the contents of their stomach if Ozma heard right.

“I asked him after finishing my meal why he continued with a practice that had cost him so much,” Ozma said, “and he looked me after rubbing the stump that had once held his missing hand and said “If you give up from making mistakes, then clearly you didn’t learn the right lesson it was teaching you.””

Ozma paused once more for effect now that he had his audience in the palm of his hand. “To say I was astounded by such an inspiring insight and find it in the proverbial armpit of the universe was something of an understatement at the time.”

“He told me that through his trials and mistakes he had learned that the Razor fish was unable to comprehend let alone sense wood leaving itself exposed, and that one of its natural defense mechanisms relied on it looking into it’s would be predators eyes and reading the intent from eye motions.”

“Can you imagine that?” Ozma said. “That through his failures this Oliver had refused to give up and continued to adapt and study his situation to such an extent that he was able to overcome seemingly impossible obstacles as if they were nothing more trifling then crossing the street.”

“In an instant the core of humanity was made clear to me; that when presented with a challenge neigh impossible that rather than retreat from it humans would greet it with a devilish smile and continue to change themselves until the impossible became reality.”

The projector that had died down during Ozma’s speech sprang back to life again and showed a new series of pictures. Human settlements on the frozen moons of Jkin VI, roaming human tribes riding massive desert sliders as they crested the roaming dunes of Hava Prime, and even and most astoundingly of the professor standing next to the one handed one eyed human Oliver smiling together over a razor fish dish.

“Humans have the uncanny ability to adapt themselves to whatever situation they come upon and despite the odds rise above the challenge and claim victory; and that is why I find them the most interesting species to observe in the universe.”

Humans are weird: Retired soldiers and old wounds

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The door swung open and a pair of figures rushed inside as if the thunderous storm outside was hunting them specifically. As the door slammed shut behind the pair the few patrons of the establishment took notice of the commotion but soon went back to minding their own business.

As the warmth of the interior washed over Krot and his mate Nesana removed their rain covers. Krot stretched in place for a few moments and limbered himself up, the cold has always made him become painfully stiff when exposed to long in it. He looked to see Nesana doing the same before someone called over to them.

“Welcome tae the Grey Lily, friends.”

Krot turned to see the voice belonged to a human standing behind a wooden counter polishing a glass. Spotting a fabric cap atop their head, the human was shorter than Krot by a foot and their vibrant youthful voice appeared to clash with their seemingly older appearance.

Before Krot could make out any other details they waved over the pair of them to the seats opposite his counter.

“Weel don’t just stand thir in the door, c’mere and rest yer weary hearts.”

The pair looked at each other confused. Their culture had exposed them to humans from a very young age, but this was the first time coming across a human with such a strange speech pattern.

As Krot approached the counter he was able to take in more of the décor of the Grey Lily. Soft lanterns hung from the ceiling casting bright shades of yellow and orange across the room. Along the walls were booths at old wooden tables clad in worn red fabric. The walls themselves held an assortment of photos of humans and strange places along with a strange collection of what appeared to be trophies.

Only a few patrons were present and they were either nestled in one of the booths laughing amongst themselves or were standing around a strange table in the back clad with stone faces as they repeatedly knocked tiny spheres into holes.

Nesana sat down first while Krot stopped to examine a particular set of photos. The human behind the counter set down the glass he had been polishing and rested his arms on the counter.

“Bit late to see travelers,” the human smiled, “what brings ye roond here?”

“We were coming back from the fields just down the way when our hover car broke down.”

If the human was surprised with how fluent the alien before him could speak his face gave no indication of it.

“Doon the road you say?”  The human asked as they set out a pair of glasses and filled them with water. “No’ting doon thir save ghosts.”

“And how would you know?”

Nesana turned around to see Krot standing behind her. He stood easily six and a half feet tall and like Nesana his protruding snout and scaly skin made him appear like an iguana that had reached the final stages of its evolution.

The human looked Krot up and down before smiling and filling the now empty glass back up.

“Judging by the rings of your eyes laddie I can tell yer no more than eighteen, an’ I’ve been living on ‘is here rock for the past fifteen alone.” He nudged the glass back over to Krot and smirked. “It’d be wise for ye to respect yer elders.”

Krot snarled and was about to say something less than flattering to the old human when he felt Nesana’s hand on him. His mate always did know when to temper his anger and once more she did so again.

“Now, as much as I like giving free drinks,” the human chipped as they pulled up a stool and sat down at the counter, “ur ye interested in something stronger than tis damn rain piss?”

Krot and Nesana looked at each other for a moment, unsure how to respond to the question.

“Perchance do you have a communicator we could borrow to call a repair team?” Nesana asked.

“Sure I’ve got wan,” the human replied as they shoved a hand over their shoulder and pointed to the opposite corner of the pub, “but it’ll cost ye five credits to use.”

Nesana padded her pockets then looked at Krot who sighed loudly.

“Every time.” He mumbled under his breath as he pulled out his credit pouch. “I only have a ten chip.”

The human racked their knuckles across the counter. “Then it’s yer lucky day.” He said with a grin. “You can by a shot of our finest drinks for five credits and have change for yer call.”

Krot frowned. “But I do not wish to buy a drink.”

The human shrugged. “An I don’t want to die alone, but only one of these problems can be solved at the moment.”

Krot snarled at the man but Nesana squeezed him again and he relented. Tossing the ten credit chip, the human snatched it out of the air and in the blink of an eye flipped a five credit chip to Nesana. She rose to her feet and went over to the communicator while the human poured the drink for Krot.

“Name’s Leo by the way.” the human said as they reached behind the counter and pulled out an old glass bottle and began pouring the drink.

“I didn’t ask your name.” Krot replied, the patience already bleeding from

“An being the generous man I am, I forgive ye for it.”

Leo finished pouring the drink and slid it over to Krot. He eyed the drink for a moment before pushing it away. Leo’s smile wavered for a moment as he looked from the glass to Krot.

“It’s not wise to waste what ya have, lad.”

This made Krot chuckle as he pulled up a chair and finally sat down at the counter. “And did you learn this from one of your many moronic human life lessons?” he quipped.

“Nah,” Leo said as he leaned back against the bar, “from my time in the army.”

Krot was taken by surprise by this remark. He looked the human Leo up and down again more closely this time. “You were a warrior?” Krot asked, not able to see the old and rather plump human ever fitting into a uniform, let alone hold a weapon.

“41st Highland Dragoons.” Leo replied as he reached up to the wall behind him and pulled down a picture. “We rode steeds of steel an even though we got shot down plenty we made the four horsemen look like a bunch of pansies with the devastation we left behind.”

Leo put the photo gently in front of Krot to see. It was an old photo judging and Krot was almost sure it would have fallen apart years ago were it not for the frame that not protected it. The photo showed several humans clustered together in their youth standing in front of one of their mechanical combat flying machines whose blades spun so fast they defied gravity.

“Dat’s me thir.” he said pointing to the human wearing the oversized goggles. Krot looked at the picture, then back at Leo. “I served five years before I left an became a civilian again.”

“In my culture, if you are a warrior you stay a warrior until you die.” Krot said disapprovingly.

“Sometimes I wish I had.”

Krot saw Leo’s expression soften from his previous joyfulness to one of a deep sorrow.

“I did my fighting, and then I was done.” Leo began.  “I had my fill of seeing ma friends die in me arms, holding their guts in while they screamed for their mother’s a thousand light years away; an all the while I kept telling meself that once I’m out everything will be fine, that it’ll be just as it was before ye signed up.”

Leo pulled out a glass of his own and poured himself a drink, downing it in a single swallow before pouring another. “But it isn’t.”

“I went back home an it was like I was on another planet.” Leo said to Krot. “I saw ghosts of friends that didn’t make it back everywhere, an every night I lay awake jumping at every creak an groan think’n it’s some poor sod come to kill me.”

Krot couldn’t help but be intrigued by the human’s story. Warriors of his culture, even his own father who served on the front lines, never spoke their inner thoughts before. Even though Leo was alien to him, the notion of a warrior was something universally shared.

“Did you not have family who stayed behind?” Krot asked, reaching out and taking a sip of his drink for the first time. It was sweeter then he had expected and strangely calming.

Leo chuckled. “When I got home I was as alien to ma family as ye are to me right now.” He leaned over and topped off both of their glasses before continuing.  “They looked at me an saw me as a shadow of the man I once was, a husk going through the motions of life pretending that everything was right as rain.”

“I spent years trying to put my life back together, yet by the end I realized ma home wasn’t ma home anymore.” Leo stopped and waved his hand across the pub. “So I moved here to where I should’ve died.”

Krot’s eyes widened at this news, his fists clenching tightly.

“You fought in the Salvation War?”

Leo nodded. “We call it the Sontron Contact War, but I guess it doesn’t matter what we call it now.”

Krot slammed his fist down on the table making several of the other patrons look over at the commotion.

“Doesn’t matter?” Krot snarled. “My father fought in the Salvation War; he died fighting your kind!”

Krot stood up, knocking over his chair from the sudden movement.

“The only reason I am here in this filthy rain was to honor my father’s dying request and plant his war pike at the top of Catharie Ridge!”

Leo took the news in stride and was unphased by the sudden outburst. “So that explains it,” he said to himself while stroking his chin, “yer friend said you’d just come from the fields an that ridge overlooks them.”

Krot could no longer contain his rage and made to lunge at Leo. He had just stretched his arms across the counter to strangle the man when he was stopped by a double barreled slug thrower Leo had casually pulled out from under the counter.

“Ye think ye’re the first Sontron to come through here with an axe to grind?” Leo said calmly. The human’s eyes met Krot’s and for a moment Krot felt a chill run down his spine. There was no warmth in those eyes, no remnant of the joyful silly man from a few moments ago; just a cold stare that felt like it was cutting straight through Krot like a knife.

“Had ye come here ten years ago I very may well have gutted the you and your friend like fish and buried you out back,” Leo said, still training the weapon at Krot’s chest, “but that man isn’t around anymore so ye should count yer blessings.”

Before Krot could say anything else Nesana came back. Leo quickly moved the gun out of sight below the counter and gave her a smile as she approached the bar.

“I just got off the communicator and the repair team is ten minutes out.”

“That’s great lassie.” Leo said with a smile.

Krot simply stood up and made for the door. “We can wait for them at the car then.” He said.

Nesana looked confused as to why they were giving up a warm interior for a cold wet exterior but she went with Krot without protest. They had just made it to the door when Leo called out to them.

“At some point lad ye just need to let go lad,” he said with a saddened look, “otherwise ye’ll end up a statue in of a forgotten time like me.”

Krot looked at the human but said nothing. His only response was the sound of the door closing behind him.

Leo watched them leave in silence and went back to polishing his spent glasses.

Humans are weird: The Venshi War

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Extract from the personal journal Jevin Thrice

“When the Venshi government announced they were going to war with humanity I remember the celebrations that were held in the streets.

Banners were unfurled, cheers and adorations made from every street corner, massive military parades held with each soldier proudly displaying their family crest as they marched through the streets of every Venshi city in the empire; one could be forgiven for mistaking it to be a cultural holiday rather than a declaration of war.

I was part of the 95th infantry and we were proudly marching through the capital city of the entire empire, Vento. The day had been clear of cloud and both suns shun proudly in the sky as if to bear witness to our march of heroes. I had enlisted only a few cycles earlier and my uniform still felt like a tight glove around me. I originally thought it was because I was too fat but the older members of the 95th told me that they always made them too small and that’d it’d stretch in time.

As we marched through the curving streets I saw thousands of faces watching me, cheering me and thrusting praise upon me with every step. My face turned a shade purple from embracement when some of the females in the crowd promised to wed those of us that returned but thankfully we marched on passed them until reaching the government quarter.

Along the street a massive platform had been erected to overlook the parade and as we came closer I saw the king himself standing at attention with his family sitting behind him. As we passed the platform we each turned to him and saluted like clockwork.

When it was my turn to salute him I caught the briefest of glances at his face. He was much older than the holo portraits made him out to be; the hair around his beard a rustic red rather than the crimson I had seen since I was a child. Though it was for but a moment the most interesting quality I saw that day was the look of his face. Instead of proud patriotic zeal or a show of fatherly love, I remember his face was hardened and almost sad looking. He looked at us as if we were already in our coffins, and it frightened me.

Not long after passing the platform we arrived at the military mustering grounds and boarded our ships. They took us up to the waiting fleet in orbit and from the view ports I saw a truly marvelous sight. A hundred Veshi ships of all makes and sizes were arrayed before us with the king’s personal flagship, the Dominix Prime, at the head. It was a mammoth of a vessel easily three times the size of any other craft in the fleet and armed from bow to stern with weapon ports.

When I had been a child my father had told me that should you ever see the Dominix Prime hovering above your planet every day afterward would be a blessing. For only the king ever commanded the vessel, and should he ever be displeased with the planet below it held enough firepower to crack a planet in two.

We left orbit two days later as we made our way to human border, each world we stopped at in the Veshi Empire contributing ships, soldiers, or war material to the effort. By the time we arrived at the border our fleet had grown to some three hundred ships and over twenty million soldiers.

The first days of the war had been uneventful as our armada carved into human controlled space. Several colony systems were located and attacked as we carved into human territory but each time the fierce fight we had been expecting never came.

Each system was often devoid of any space faring craft and the few orbital stations that were found were miniscule and easily taken over. When ground forces landed on the inhabited planets they found what sparse population centers abandoned. In a month we had taken eight systems from the humans and claimed almost twenty worlds without losing a single ship.

Things began to change shortly after we passed the Houton Nebula and our first signs of organized resistance began manifesting themselves.

Arriving at a system the humans called “Caylen” we had our first naval engagement of the war. Thirteen human craft waited in the asteroid belt surrounding the system, powered down to avoid our initial scans. When the main body of the navy had entered the system they attacked. Striking the rear of our navy they target three troop transports and their escorts.

Navy captains had been informed of the ineffectiveness of human weapons against Venshi shields so they did not bother to scatter. The human ships lined up their attack runs on the transports, their small designs allowing them to easily dodge the return fire from our escorts. They flew their ships right at them and just as they were about to crash into the Venshi shields they broke off, flying right passed them without firing a single shot. As our escorts began to turn and line up new firing vectors the first of the transports exploded.

I was on the food deck when the transports were destroyed. The navy had been broadcasting the engagement fleet wide figuring it would boost morale to see how helpless the humans were against us; but when that ship exploded I swear you could have heard a thumper rodent squeak. The feeds went dead a hairs breath after that and sirens began ringing out across the ship. The navy boys that were there suddenly became more tense and alert while the rest of us shuffled back to our waiting areas. It wasn’t till after the war I learned that humans had developed a special material that could carve through shields but was highly unstable. If it had been attached to a rocket or fired from a rail gun the material would degrade and lose its capabilities. So their engineers designed a special lance like rod equipped with a plasma warhead that would be flung like a spear from ships using the kinetic energy it had built up to launch it rather than thrusters.

Some 800 thousand soldiers died between those three transports and five escort ships of what was to be the first of many raids; and as I was to find out first-hand the army did not fare any better.

When we reached the only inhabited planet in the system the 95th was chosen to be the ones to spearhead the invasion. I boarded out assault shuttle and took my seat as the engines ignited and the gravity harnesses engaged.

My seat was near the window and I watched the midnight black of space slowly fade away into an ocean like blue as we entered the atmosphere. I’d never set foot on another world before and despite going into what was an active warzone I couldn’t help but be somewhat excited. I looked out the window with that hopeless optimism right up until the first enemy rocket hit the assault shuttle besides ours.

The rocket streaked up from the surface like a shooting star and hit the cockpit in a blinding flash leaving nothing but falling debris. I would have watched more were it not for the sudden jerk of my own shuttle swerving to the left and then right. No doubt our pilot had been trying to avoid the same fate but these shuttles while armored were not built for evasive maneuvers.

I saw soldier beside me clutching their guns until their fingers turned a bright red while other new recruits like me began sobbing and crying out for their loved ones as the shuttle continued dodging the intensifying ground fire. The noise became so unbearable I closed my eyes as tight as they would go and waited for the moment the rocket would destroy our shuttle.

An eternity of noise passed before I felt the shuttle jerk violently and the gravity harnesses disengage.

“OUT OUT OUT!”

The voice over the loud speaker cut through the noise and I leapt from my seat. Moving on pure muscle memory rather than personal direction I piled out of the craft no sooner had the boarding ramp hit the ground with a loud thud.

We had landed in what appeared to be a city square of some sort, each side of the open space surrounded by several storied buildings. At the center of the square stood a tall statue of a human woman who appeared blindfolded and holding a strange set of scales in one hand and a book in the other.

As I exited off the ramp I took cover behind a nearby stone bench with several others and trained my weapon on the surrounding buildings. The engines of the shuttle roared back to life and I turned to see the craft rising back out of the square in such a hurry that the pilot had not even waited for the boarding ramp to fully close. A misstep that cost the pilot their life as just as they were about to crest the tallest building in the square a rocket was fired from a nearby window straight into the exposed interior.

The back of the shuttle exploded outwards like a fireball and the shuttle came crashing down to the square nearly crushing me in the process had I not leaped out of the way. The comrades I had been with at the bench were not so lucky and screamed as the burning remains landed on them.

As I stood to my feet gunfire erupted from every corner of the square. From every window now appeared a muzzle flash as we were systematically gunned down in the exposed square. I stood to my feet and rushed to cover behind the statue of the human woman and returned fire.

Chips of stone were blown off by the human weapons and the shards sliced my face to pieces as those around me were cut down. I had no idea if any of my shots were actually hitting the enemy but by then all I could do is fire and scream as I poured plasma round after plasma round into every window I saw a flash.

It was after my third clip I realized that there were only a handful of us left and we were being slaughtered one by one. I desperately sought a way to escape the square but every street leading out of the square would require me to make a mad dash across open ground.

Another stone shard cut my face deep and I felt my face going numb and drove me to further crouch behind the statue. Had it not happened I doubt I would have realized my only escape was through the burning remains of the shuttle craft.

Looking behind me I saw the ramp was still down and the back of the craft had been blown out by the rocket, turning it into a burning tunnel to freedom. I tapped the soldiers next to me and pointed at the craft but they merely shrugged me off and continued firing at the windows. It was only when I saw a massive mechanical vehicle slowly drive into the opposite end of the square that I knew it was no or never.

Dashing from the cover of the statue I sprinted across the square back towards the burning shuttle just as the mechanical vehicle fired from its massive turret. I was thrown forward several feet as the blast annihilated the base of the statue I had previously been covering in. Rising to my feet unsteadily I turned to see the blast had turned my comrades who had remained there into nothing but red mush. When I looked up and saw the turret slowly adjusting in my direction I turned back to the shuttle and sprinted into the flames.

The heat was unbearable and I could feel my skin beginning to peel off as I pushed my way through the wreckage. No sooner had I made it through the flaming remains and darted around the corner had the mechanical vehicle fired again and obliterated what was left of the shuttle craft.

I ran for more than five blocks before I dove into a side street to catch my breath. I slouched against a nearby wall and looked up at the sky as I gasped for air.

Dozens of landing shuttle like my own were descending from orbit and were being met with a blizzard of enemy fire. Rockets streaked across the sky and heavy anti air cannons roared to life like the drums of the ancients.

It was not I realized what it meant to go to war with humanity and the mountains of dead we would leave behind to achieve our victory.

Humans are weird: Thrift Stores

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Alien: So humans just come here to throw away their belongings? Human: No, that would be a dump. Alien: But all I see here is trash. Human: That hurts.. ———

Alien: What are these tiny people here? Human: Those are called porcelain figurines. Human: Some people like to collect them. Alien: If they like to collect them why are so many here waiting to be bought? Human: Because eventually people realize that having a dozen tiny faces looking at you in the middle of the night when you went for a cup of water is pretty creepy. Alien: …. Alien: This sounds a bit too specific to be an example. ————-

Alien: I wish to purchase this human replica. Store worker: That’s a mannequin, and they are not for sale. Alien: I will pay triple. Store worker: Okay now it is for sale. Store worker: By the way, why would you want to purchase a mannequin anyway? Alien: Practice. Store worker: What kind of practice? Alien: Don’t worry about it. Alien: I also wish to purchase this variety of kitchen knives as well. ————–

Human: Dude, we dropped you here an hour ago. Human 2: Why are you still shopping? Alien: I just need a few more things and then I’m done. Human: Are both these shopping carts yours? Alien: Yes, but I am almost done now. Human 2: Dear gods, he’s caught in a purchase loop! Human: Grab them before they start a third cart! *Struggle ensues* Alien: Just a few more things! —————–

Alien: Do you have this shirt in blue? Human: I’m sorry, but what is out on the racks is what we have. Alien: Could you check in the back? Human: What part of “out of racks it what we have” do you not understand? Alien: I’m just asking if you can check. Human: We sell what people donate. Human: Do you know how rare it would be to have the same shirt but in multiple colors? Alien 2: *approaches* Alien 2: I’d like to buy this blue shirt please. Alien: *Looks at blue one they wanted, then glares at human* Human: Luckily I am not paid enough to care about this. ————–

Alien: Why is there an entire canoe here? Human: Someone must have donated it. Alien: Who the hell would donate an entire canoe? Human: Someone who seems to have made some seriously bad life choices. ————

Alien: I will take this evil looking doll. Human: 16 bucks. Alien: It has a deep gash in the back of the head. Human: 14 bucks. Alien: And is covered in red stains of some kind. Human: 12 bucks. Alien: It also whispers to me when no one is looking. Human: 24 bucks. ————

Alien: I need some holiday directions. Human: The thrift store will have them. Alien: I haven’t even told you which holiday. Human: Doesn’t matter. Human: No other place will you find a smiling santa next to a jack-o-lantern and a cupid heart all at the same time. ———-

Alien: Since these pants have holes in them I get an additional discount, yes? Human: I’m afraid they’re designed that way so no. Alien: Who designs clothing with premade holes in them? Human: How long have you been on our planet? Alien: About five years. Human: And when have we ever made sense about anything? Alien: Fair enough.

a thing a human did

It had been… Nine months, since we took a human in our crew. I knew what they looked like and how they behaved, but that was mostly from the manual and stories from some friends. All the normal things everyone knows. They had destroyed their world once, rebuilt it, and now dedicated their entire existence to… Stop that from happenning again. And also everything they do, have and make is either extremely useful or the most horrifying thing one could ever heard of. Just the basics.

Isa was the human’s name. A marine biologist. Our ship was one of the first ones to be made for life-keeping. Our job is to ensure that planets would still have life after the humans did their thing, a risky and complicated job, but an important one.

I had expected Isa to be small. Humans were small, from what I’ve known, but somehow that one was bigger and bulkier than me. Not as big as some others, but everyone was surprised, especially when she decided to cover her teeth in order to not scare us. She spoke in a soft tone and did everything with such delicacy we forgot how humans were.

And then, she reminded us of that.

First, she took in a seed and tried to make it grow. She would try to sing to it from time to time. I thought she was going to… To do that thing. When humans use their voices and things just start to grow out of nowhere. But, thank {   }, that didn’t happen. She just kept talking to it for hours. I don’t know why she would try to communicate with it, and I was too afraid to ask.

Second, she would carry everything we deemed to be too heavy and couldn’t be carried by Ki. Some heavy things. I had to remind myself human sweat wasn’t poisonous to my species multiple times. I don’t know why, but I had to. Especially when Isa got sick and continued to work even when she was sneezing and producing muckus. That was disgusting. But then, once again, some humans would collapse before they dared to admit they had to rest.

And… And third thing. Yes. The third thing. I like her a lot, she’s my friend, but that was before we became close. Isa would collect random things to “preserve” them, and she would say those fancy words to try to classify creatures that were for no practical use. We would get to them sooner or later, but we had to have priorities. She didn’t seem to have these. She would just name and name and name everything, and somehow she remembered it all. And when one of the species became extinct once again, she would cry and write it down to remember. She would… Make them graves. I thought it was religious, but it wasn’t.

I would feel sad for them too. For the lost ones. I helped Isa with her graves, and I was the one to tell the others of who we had failed that time, and sometimes I would have to lie down and rest because it was too much. But not to the point of tears. Not to the point of my own body breaking itself down out of heartbreak and sadness. Isa got sick because of the ones we lost, and we had to care for her. I had to write things down for her so she wouldn’t try to work until she had passed out. I learned to take care of humans because of her heartbreaks with fish.

And then we… We lost too much. Sometimes we would lose some species, but not an entire planet. We were glad no deadly bacteria got to us, but we were all heartbroken. That thing ate an entire planet, and we couldn’t do anything.

Isa was the most affected. She… Vanished. Not literally, but she retreated to her own lab for weeks. We tried to keep her safe, to keep her healthy, but it was hard when we had to deal with our own failure.

One night I decided to stay awake. And then I decided to check on Isa, because she wasn’t coming to her “dinners” anymore. I did what the humans would do: Knocked on her door and waited for a response, but Isa wasn’t responding and I was worried, so I entered anyways.

She… She was trembling, but holding a thing. I asked her what was it, and she whispered for me to come closer. I did, and she asked me to hold it.

Of course, I didn’t know what to do, but I held that thing. It was mucky and wet and soft and, honestly, very disgusting, but… But I looked at Isa, and I was going to ask her what that was, but she was crying. That’s- that’s another thing humans do. They cry, and I knew they did, but that was the first time it looked so raw. I… For a moment, I thought that was blood. I had forgotten what human blood looked like, but then I remembered and I got even more scared. I was afraid of what Isa would do. Because an upset human is a problem for everyone.

But, but she just, she just looked at me. Looked at me with her face covered in those tears that multiple species were using for medicine, and pointed at that thing that was in my hands, and I knew that I shouldn’t have asked but I did it anyways. “What is this?”, and looked at that thing in my hands.

“It came from the seed”, she whispered to me. “It opened up after i fed it with the red devouring”.

“You fed that seed with a plague?”

“Listen to it”.

I did what she had asked me to. I listened to that thing. You know what it sounds like. It whispers things without words. It has something beating, and something singing, and another, last and quiet thing, growing.

What she said to me next is something I will never forget, because she was sobbing but smiling. It was a raw cry of hope.

“It’s the heartbeat of a planet”.

Humans are weird: Galvanizing the human spirit

( Please come see me on my new patreon and support me for early access to stories and personal story requests :D https://www.patreon.com/NiqhtLord Every bit helps)    

When Ma’vak had returned to his homeworld after conquering the human colony of Cronus VI, he had not expected for his first meeting with his emperor to involve him being flung like a ragdoll into the walls of the royal palace.

His impact into the lavishly decorated wall was forceful enough to leave a deep crater three inches in before he bounced off and tumbled to the floor. Dazed by the impact he attempted to rise to his feet only to see his emperor advancing on him once more.

“My emperor,” he began through wheezing gasps, “if I can just-“

His emperor, the holy sun Toval Marl, picked up Ma’vak with one hand as easily as one would lift a pebble and struck him with the back of his other hand. Though the blow had been merely a slap to the emperor, to Ma’vak it was the force of a cannonball and he felt his jaw unhinge itself from the strike.

“Commander Ma’vak.” The emperor spoke in hushed words soaked with barely restrained anger, “When I want you to speak, I SHALL TELL YOU!”

With a thunderous roar the emperor once again flung Ma’vak; this time down from upper tier of the throne room and into the lower tier where the courtesans and court mingled. They had been watching the unfolding dispute with amusement but now ran away in panic as the commander crashed into several of them. Ma’vak felt multiple bones breaking, but thankfully he soon realized that they belonged to the onlookers who had cushioned his fall.

Ma’vak looked up from the pile of limbs he found himself nestled in to see the emperor leaping down to the lower tier himself. His feet struck the floor with enough force to shake the entire room as if it was in the middle of the earthquake.

“I sent you to Cronus VI with the simple order of crushing the human military presence there.” Toval said, slowly walking towards Ma’vak. “I told you I wanted their military beaten, broken, and left so utterly shattered that they would carry messages of doom back to the rest of their people and break their will to fight before the war had even begun.”

The emperor now loomed over him now, his very shadows swallowing Ma’vak whole and seemingly dragging him into a dark pit of despair.

“Do you know what message the survivors brought back instead?”

When the commander didn’t respond the emperor gave a subtle tilt of his head and a waiting attendant activated a large scale projector. The room went dark as the projector hummed into life and presented an image many in the court could not believe, let alone comprehend.

“REMEMBER THE 18th!”

“REMEMBER THE 18th!”

“REMEMBER THE 18th!”

The projector showed a crowd of several thousand humans all gather together in various squares, parks, and meeting places of their world all chanting the same message. Children ran through the crowd with the number “18” crudely painted on their faces and clothes while the adults continued chanting and marching through the streets of their cities like a great living wave.

Switching from the crowds the projector then cut into a human broadcasting service that was covering the events. A human female and male sat behind a wooden desk as a long information feed was run underneath them.

“We are returning to you now with continued coverage of the recent attack made against the Cronus VI colony.”

“That’s right Tom,” the female continued, “news of the unprovoked attack is just reaching us but it looks like the entire defense garrison of the 18th Legion was wiped out while protecting the civilian population. We must warn you that the footage of the attack we are about to show you is graphic and may not be suitable for children.”

The feed displayed shaky footage of the attack on Cronus VI’s capital city Helios. Human civilians were running through the street screaming as alien fighter craft roared overhead strafing the streets. Numerous human civilians are cut down by the withering fire.

As another alien craft looms overhead the camera is thrown to the ground as the holder no doubt dives for cover. The roaring weapons fire however is soon drowned out by the deep below of engines and the booming sounds of heavy cannon fire.

The camera shakenly is held up once more in time to show a large human armored vehicle rolling down the street the civilians had been running to. Swarms of human soldiers surround the vehicle as its twin cannons aim at the sky and unleash lead filled retribution against the alien foes. One of the soldiers sees the camera holder and waves to them.

“Get to the shelter!” they shout as the armored vehicle continues to fire skyward, striking down several craft from the sky as one would swat a fly.

An explosion erupts near the camera holder sending them to their feet once more but the soldier who shouted before comes over and helps them rise to their feet again.

“Keep going!” They shout encouragingly as the alien craft have recognized the new threat and had begun to swarm towards it. “RUN! We’ll hold them off!”

The soldier shoves the camera holder away before turning around and to face the oncoming swarm of alien fighters before the feed went dead.

Once again the projector switched back to the male and female humans at the desk as they resumed their broadcast.

“That was just one instance of the 18th legion engaging the unknown alien attackers which launched a ruthless attack against the planets civilian populations.”

A chart appeared in the background of what appeared to be a map of Cronus VI’s cities. Large portions of each city were overlapped in red to show the damage done to them.

“Though the current death toll is resting in the hundreds of thousands military officials state the entire planets population could have been eradicated had it not been for the rapid mobilization of the 18thLegion who abandoned their military compounds and engaged the alien attackers; often pulling them away from civilian areas by making themselves the bait.”

“President Mabel has called an emergency meeting of the world senate in response to this sudden and heinous attack and it is predicted that war will be declared.”

The male nodded to his female counterpart. “Many citizens of the core worlds are not even waiting for the official announcement and are flocking to local military recruitment centers to enlist into the armed forces.”

The emperor nodded once more and the projector was disabled. When he spoke it was the voice of a predator ready to lash out at their prey.

“Why did you disobey my orders and attack civilian centerss?”

Ma’vak rose to his feet unsteadily, shaking off the broken bone fragments still clinging to him, and stood at attention before responding.

“The military installations were too heavily fortified for our forces to engage with directly.” Ma’vak said. “I reasoned that the human civilian population was put in danger the military units would abandon these fortifications and engage our forces in more favorable terrain.”

The emperor did not reply. His steely gaze looked down at Ma’vak with not only an intent to rip him limb from limb, but also sheer disappointment.

“I wanted their military defeated in their strongholds.” The emperor began. “I wanted their people to see that even behind their walls and guns that they were just as vulnerable to our attacks. I wanted the planets survivors to witness this and bring stories back of a defeat so devastating that it would crush their willing to continue a fight with us.”

In a flash the emperor’s right hand lashed out and grabbed Ma’vak by the throat and hoisted him into the air. The commander struggled and gasped in his grasp, his feeble hands smacking against the powerful hand strangling the life from him as if he was nothing but a child.

“Instead you have made their soldiers into martyrs and worse still given them a cause to rally behind!”

The emperor’s grasp tightened further and Ma’vak’s vision began to blur as he continued to struggle for every breath.

“You didn’t snuff out the fire of their spirit; you have stoked and fed it so now where there had been but dying embers is a roaring flame that will consume us all! THEY WILL COME IN THEIR MILLIONS NOW!”

Having suffered the stupidity of his commander long enough the emperor dismissively snapped Ma’vak’s neck and let the cold body fall to the flood.

Every courtesan and attendant still in the throne room watched in silence at the brutal horror that had unfolded and the still simmering rage that still held sway over their emperor.

“Leave us.” The emperor ordered; a command all present were more than eager to abide by and the milling masses quickly shuffled away lest they be the next target of his wrath.

Once the room was empty Toval turned from the dead body to face the lone attendant who still remained.

“Dispose of this.” He said coldly to the dead body sullying his throne room. “Then summon my second son and tell him he is now my first heir and commander of our forces.”

He strode passed the bowing attendant without waiting for a response.

“Tell him we have a war to prepare for.”