Footnote: This Is My New Blog! Due To Some Technical Issues With The Old One, I Will Be Rblging The Original

Footnote: This is my new blog! Due to some technical issues with the old one, I will be rblging the original MMM and CFF posts on this account, as well as continuing both lil series!

Creacher Feature Friday 2: Ode to the Opossum

Oh, you marvelous, misaligned, misunderstood marsupial, how I salute you~

Introducing a classic North American underdog and everyone’s favorite garbage gobbler, the Virginia Opossum! Not, of course, to be confused with the Australian common possum.

Ngl, the more I’ve come to learn about these funky lil fellas throughout my years, the more they solidify their spot as my favorite animal, but also the more their bad rep absolutely befuddles me.

Going by the pop culture representation of the poor things you would think they were just rat-tailed raccoons. But they’re so flipping unique and underrated.

Getting the obvious out of the way, not ratty at all! Not even remotely rodent. That’s all pouch-baring marsupial, baby, like kangaroos and bandicoots and mongooses. They’re also the ONLY marsupial native to the United States. And just like the cobra-eating mongoose, they also happen to share a high resistance to snake venom! We love them down in the south where they’re a fearless and very successful predator of copperheads, water moccasins, and rattlesnakes. They also help keep Lyme disease in check each year. They rarely catch it and/because they eat most ticks that latch onto them, making them not a key reservoir species for the pathogen.

You know what else they love eating? Slugs and snails the sorts that otherwise wreck gardens left unchecked. They call them rabid pests? Why, opossums are straight up free pest control! And the “rabid” thing is the most ridiculous part.

Like, can someone seriously, please tell me how on earth THIS little guy becoming the poster boy for rabies jokes makes any ounce of sense? I mean, other than for the hilarious irony when you realize a little known fact:

Virginia opossums have a natural resistance to contracting the rabies virus, too. No joke. They’re probably near the very bottom of the list of animals you’d have to fear the disease from. While any mammal certainly can become rabid, it’s phenomenally rare for opossums be reported as active carriers of rabies, and this comes down to the simple trait that is their curiously low body temperature.

Most mammals like to keep their innards in a cozy range of about 97°F to 104°F (~36 °C to 40°C), the Virginia Opossum enjoys a comfortable homeostasis all the way down to about 94°F (~ 34 °C). As luck would have it for them, rabies has a hard time being able to incubate at such a low temperature under normal circumstances.

Got a hunch, but maybe the “vicious/rabid” stereotype comes from the way they act when humans do happen to encounter them up close. They’re horribly near-sighted, slow moving little wanderers (big reason they get roadkilled so often), so they don’t really have fleeing in their set of options when facing down a threat. When an opossum gets frightened, the first thing they know to do is…. Bluff. Open up their mouths real wide and hiss and growl as convincingly scary as they can manage. I think it looks really goofy tbh, like

“:V”

The thing being, while this is pretty a intimidating act, it’s not much anything more than that. I’ve never actually learned about a wild mammal LESS willing to commit to defending itself. They’re complete cowards that seldom ever attack or bite people. There’s videos out there of professionals being able to handle wild females WITH babies on board and the things never actually go for a bite.

And this is mostly because their plan B after the bluff isn’t working out is, well… you know, playing possum. It’s not even something they choose to do. It’s actually an involuntary reflex due to shock. They curl up, keep that mouth wide open, and basically pass out on the spot. To make the corpse audition even more “convincing” they additionally secret a foul odor from their anal glands, so they can smell as dead as they look. The hope is that whatever was spooking them so badly just looses its appetite and moves on, leaving the opossum unscathed.

⚠️Important note that this is of course NOT an endorsement to try your luck for yourself by picking up or petting the first one you see. No wild animals are 100% predictable, especially when cornered, and even if these are relatively docile, dealing with them should be left to the licensed professionals (who do still wear gloves when they do, just in case) and any kind of unnecessary contact is going to be extremely stressful to them. We understood? Ok 👍🏻

Really, unless you’re a chicken farmer there’s really no reason to be so darn afraid of them. All they mostly do is just bumble along trying to mind their own business. Look at these super moms, mad respect.

This is seriously what they do for a while after the babies are too big to chill in here pouch, and it makes me smile very widely.

Not to mention the babies themselves are drop-dead adorable. Check out this lil punk and his fingerless gloves! This teeny silly billy and his prehensile tail?

Stupendous and gorgeous. Hats off to the common opossum, please keep being yourselves. We know you’re trying your best.

And that will be all until next Friday. I promise, pinky out and everything, I will definitely fill you in by then on the whole “mind-control fungus that turns cicadas into bisexual zombies” thing I mentioned last time. Just sit tight.

This whole thing is making me laugh so hard for several reasons but mainly because off the top of my head, if you’ve ever read Moby Dick, there actually is no outright sex scene. BUT. It’s literally one of the most blushingly homoerotic pieces of literature I’ve ever read in my life.

Without exaggeration, Melville crammed it brimming full of cheeky (Very intentional) innuendo enough to make a nun faint. There’s literally one scene that takes its sweet, descriptive time to visually lay out a whole circle of sea men squeezing and wringing the “sperm” (as in the sperm whale grease) out of a harvest, you know all ruggedly and rapturously and sensually, as one does with the sailor homies. I lied actually, it’s not a scene. It’s an entire chapter titled “A Squeeze of the Hand” ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) …

Not getting into the “strangers sharing a hotel bed to unofficially married speedrun” bromance between Ishmael and Queenqueg because we’d be here all day.

brandon sanderson fans

Screencap Compilation of Charlotte looking absolutely miserable (No particular reason ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

Footnote: Psst, This is my new blog! Due to some technical issues with the old one, I am rblging the original MMM and CFF posts on this account, as well as continuing the future rambles under this handle from here on!

Media Marvel Monday, #5:

The Sweetest Co-Op I’ve Ever Played Solo, Unravel 2

Ever look through the bargain bin or the used game/movie sections while shopping in your youth, and come across an actual masterpiece? Wonderful experience, especially if you didn’t even know you basically found a diamond ring rifling through the sloppy seconds section. It’s why I love thrift thing so much, not just because I’m a cheap ass, but because finding the hidden gems pennies on the dollar is its own fun kind of scavenger hunt.

And on that note, this one time I was looking through the heavy discount section of the E-shop, and let me tell you,

I found something absolutely beautiful, and even better, it’s a charming ditty you can enjoy with a dear friend, or a special someone if you're looking for a good couch co-op recommendation on short notice, Valentine's day being tomorrow and all ;)

I.... freaking love this game, so much. Everything about it. Playing it, looking at it, keeping the soundtrack in my ears as I meditate or draft things such as this out...

The game follows as the spiritual successor of the first Unravel, an atmospheric, side scrolling, puzzle-platformer that had you navigate a voiceless narrative through control of a "Yarny" (which, in this setting are like lil whimsical fellas made entirely of yarn) through beautiful natural landscapes and an underlying story of love, memories, and adventure. Which each step Yarny takes, his own thread spools out behind him, and puzzle-solving through the level sections revolves around creative uses of this trailing string, whether by use of a lasso to climb heights, to swing over gaps, building tightrope trampolines, pulleys, and a number of other ways of interacting with the world. This builds with and upon the smooth physics in action to bring players an engaging and varied way of progressing without being overly complicated. Though some of the challenges can have their moments of frustration, the game is overall a relaxing and visually more artistic than mechanical experience.

All of this carries over into Unravel's sequel, but now with the added spice of two Yarnies in the spotlight, tethered both physically and seemingly spiritually to each other. From the moment they find each other, a spark forms from their connection, and they share a journey to chase that spark as it brings light back to a world with some growing shadows.

Though you can play through the entire game solo for no less satisfaction and no more difficulty with the puzzles (I did, and I was almost tearing up in delight when I reached the final credits), the soul of a thoughtfully crafted, local co-op experience shines through all of Unravel 2.

Something I also rabidly love about the sequel is that you're actually allowed to customize the look of the yarnys' bodies and color! Not only that, but there's a handful of emotes available to really help your little dudes come to life (Media Marvels is all about the joy from the finer details after all). How many co-ops do YOU have where you and the other player's little creature can hold hands and stare into each other's lil yarn eyes after getting through a tough challenge??

I got so attached to my own pair over my first playthrough that I couldn't help myself but go for a trip to the craft store and, well,

More pics of my sons here, but legit, yarnys are pretty fun and easy to make it turns out.

I seriously don't want to understate the beauty of this game, though. The soundtrack is phenomenal, some literally theater worthy stuff at times, and draws a lot of inspiration from Scandinavian folk sounds, which, I shouldn't even have to really explain how that pairs so well with visuals like this

If this all sounds even remotely interesting to you, it's available on PlayStation 4, Windows, Xbox One, and the Nintendo Switch. The switch's version does take a hit to the graphics, but it's not one that I minded much. Also cool how you can do co-op with a pal with one joycon each, no huge need to have two sets. Anyway, I can't stand by this recommendation much harder. I think I'll close this out with a simple Happy early Valentines Day.

Footnote: Heya, Feel like seeing more ramblings like this? Here is my current blog! Due to some technical issues with the old one, I will be rblging the original MMM and CFF posts on this account, as well as continuing both lil series further on!

Creacher Feature Friday 5: I’m Utterly Terrified of Moose and You Should Be Too

I have noticed, on occasion that some people, even avid animal lovers, can still have that one critter that just gives them a passive comic dread. And I don’t mean the normal “spiders scary” or “rodents have gross vibes” gut reactions that society virtually conditions into anyone, I’m talking about the “I know way too much of this animal for my own good” kind of irrational, obscure fear. An organism that has a trivia card that makes you feel like you had some kind of innocence robbed from you ever since the knowledge was allowed to permeate into your prefrontal wrinkles, laying their dastardly seeds of hyper-specific heebies and jeebies.

I’m not gonna pretend you didn’t read the title, so I’ll cut to the chase for the tea I’m about to spill about these utter beasts of the North.

Everyone for years has always been “do X to avoid/survive grizzlies” this or “watch out for cougars” that but DON’T let the framing of Bambi or The Land Before Time Make you overlook the one thing that makes the largest wolves and even brown bears look almost harmless: the herbivore that must be ready to defend itself against them at the drop of a hat.

By the numbers alone, moose are responsible for more injuries and deaths annually than grizzlies and Timberwolves combined.

Despite being another (the largest) member of the deer family, these things are no freaking whitetail. Throw away everything you have come to understand about smaller deer if you find yourself in the presence of a moose. For one, they largely do not have a strong baseline fear of human beings like more common deer would. In the temperate US and beyond, deer are more known to just immediately flee the area if an ant farts 5 feet away. Moose give z e r o fucks about your presence until you give them a reason to. And this in part leads to some horrible accidents and danger, because less savvy people sometimes mistake their boldness to being “friendly” or open to further approach. While not quite so temperamental as a hippo, they can quickly turn from apathetic to downright deadly from provocation or harassment. This is doubly a jeopardizing position to remain in when dealing with rutting bulls or calving mothers, both of which more likely to decide against fleeing and choose ruining your entire day and then some.

Ideally, at such point, you would have scurried as soon as humanely possible for cover or anything sturdy you could weave around to have between you, and that angry moose. Let’s say you don’t manage that, or that you were the kind of idiot that tries to stand their ground against a provoked moose instead of taking the first few hints. The good news is that you don’t have to worry too much about those horns bearing down on you, they’re mostly just for flexing on other moose anyway. The bad news is, you’re free and open to receiving the business end of those front hooves, instead. Try to struggle back or get back up and you’ll basically recreate that bear attack scene from The Revenant, only with less slashing and more rib-breaking blunt trauma in its place. Probably the same amount of screaming. Moose attack to eliminate a threat, so the only thing you can viably do in a trampling is to assume the fetal position, pray, and more or less play dead until the moose has moved on. Not “stopped stomping”, but straight on wandered a safe enough distance away to allow you to make a proper retreat to safety and some much needed medical attention, if you’ve survived.

And if you still have no idea how much of a bad time you’re in for against a pissed moose, look. at. The. Size. Of. Them.

Seriously, not even counting the antlers or the head, these behemoth beefstacks can tick a 7 foot or more height just from hoof to shoulder. In fact, even forgetting their spicy behavior for a second, one reason their sheer size is such a public hazard on its own is because of what happens when a moose and a car meet on the road.

You know how any common wisdom or Driver’s Ed course will tell you up and down, “Whatever you do, don’t swerve for animals! Hit the brakes and hope that deer/dog/opossum makes it, but for all that’s good and holy don’t rocket off into the ditch for them!”

Moose turn this lesson ass over tea kettle. They’re probably the only animal I know of where the explicit expert advice is to take your chances with the ditch over hitting one of these head on. Note this additional size comparison with an compact car.

Notice how the front of this thing is uh… right on level with being able to leg sweep a moose rather than directly hit it? I’m not going to go into too graphic detail of what happens when gravity gifts a 1,200 pound deer straight into one’s windshield, but let’s just say it’s not pretty.

Here’s some other cursed facts about NA Moose, besides their size put into perspective:

• They can move each eye and ear independently of the other.

•Their stomach can hold around 100 pounds of food at once.

• They can sprint about 35 miles an hour (in case you thought running was a valid option).

• They can easily kick in a 360 degree radius around themselves.

• Another term for “The fear of moose” is apparently Alkiphobia

• That flappy bit of flesh that sags beneath their chin is known as a “bell”, or dewlap. Males and females both develop one, and no one knows for sure what their main purpose is.

• One of the warning signs they can give before an attack, is to pee fiercely, staring you down.

• Due to wolves being a natural predator of theirs, they really, really hate dogs. Having a dog or few in tow has in some cases caused moose to go out of their way to attack them along with their human owners.

• You’re not safe in the water either! They’re not just competent swimmers, but natural professionals, able to dive almost 20 feet deep and hold their breath for a full minute.

• The above ^ fact is why there have been reported occasions of killer whales feeding on moose, as a treat.

• We should probably be grateful their even larger cousins aren’t still around instead.

• And, something a little haunting for me above the rest: North America moose can sometimes fall dead-end host to an infection of actual, unironic brain worms, which can make them behave much more aggressively and confused in the later stages of the disease. Here’s a video, in fact, of an individual with brainworm charging a man minding his own business.

I’ve never seen a moose up close in my entire life, I don’t live remotely close to where I would have to to even be able to do that, and you know what? I think I’m extremely and comfortably ok with that, but I am cursed with the knowledge that they are out there, like some Monster-Hunter esque boss that found itself a cozy footing (hoofing?) in the real world. Pouring one out for you, moose, you rudely massive ruminants. You have earned my distant respect, by which I mean you intimidate me enormously.

Footnote: Recognize this? Feel like reading some more? Well, here is my new blog! Due to some technical issues with the old one, I will be rblging the original MMM and CFF posts on this account, as well as continuing both series!

Creacher Feature Friday 4: Ligers, Tigons, and Mules, oh my! A Cursory Look at Sterile Hybrids

I’m supposing it’s safe to assume most of the human population knows what a mule is, pretty visible concept. Take a horse and a donkey, let ‘em have a tumble in the hay, and out comes something that’s a bit of both species, but still something pretty different, they can’t themselves reproduce. If you understand that much, then you’re already walking in with a little bit of baseline knowledge of a phenomenon known as hybrid incompatibility.

Now, animals can be incompatible to each other as hybrids in a whole list of ways because of the broadness of the term. It doesn’t exactly mean that two different species cannot produce offspring together, but it encompasses any case where two different species mate and produce an offspring that suffers from a reduced fitness as compared to its parents- Fitness in this context of course meaning the ability of an animal to thrive and reproduce in its environment, so that can include anything from a pure genetical problem to just the mixing of traits not being as well suited to a habitat as the parent’s more specialized adaptations. Very often, though, a downgrade will take the form of the offspring just outright having a reduced or eliminated fertility. Like the mule, like the liger, many hybrids simply dead-end their lines just by virtue of being unable to continue mating and reproducing. That’s what applies to the critters what I want to get into today. Without further ado, here’s a whacky little list I got of some worthy mentions I find MUCH cooler than mules.

*Side Note: the actual mechanics for how hybrid sterility happens is something that comes down to DNA and is to put it lightly, freaking complicated, and ultimately (like most boxes we try to apply to nature) is more of a messy spectrum than a strict is/is not binary. There are actual freak cases of mules that have managed to be the exception to the rule, believe it or not. But as a general it applies to broadly call them, and the following examples of sterile hybrids. Just a thing to keep in mind!

• Ligers and Tigons

Whether through word or mouth, actual articles, or some old animal planet shows, ligers are probably one of the most well-known “exotic” hybrids because of the attention they started getting in zoos that managed to breed them. And yeah, they’re pretty cool. For obvious reasons they only exist in captivity, and they’re the direct result of a male lion mating with a female tiger. Tigons, on the vise versa other hand, are a hybrid between a male tiger and a female lion. You wouldn’t think that would make such a huge difference, but it really does. For one, there’s some noticeable differences in the offspring’s mane (in males) and the pattern of their coat. Personally I find Tigons much more gorgeous than their counterpart on this front.

Second, ligers are absolute units. Not just compared to tigons, but compared to big cats in general. They very typically grow much larger than either of their parents, reaching lengths of about 10-12 feet and easily being able to clock in at weights of over 900 pounds on average. You wanna talk about “chonkers”?

Yeah. Yeah.

It’s not particularly a great thing either and it makes them especially controversial to create. Basically, they don’t inherit key growth-limiting genes from a lioness that a pure cub would, but they are carrying a now completely unrestrained growth-encouraging gene from the male lion parent. It essentially causes all ligers to be born with a form of gigantism, which can predispose them to a bunch of health complications. Tigons still have their own issues as well, which is a predictable enough fact considering this is more or less parallel to some of those “because we can” designer dog mutts.

Something tigons and ligers do share is that all males of either case are born completely sterile. Females, however, have been on some occasions able to produce second generation hybrids, which is a whole can of worms on itself once you start getting into Titagons, Tiligers, Litigons, Liligers… real things by the way. This is a problematic lasagna with many strange layers, indeed. Personally, I’d just steer clear of any institution that intentionally interbreeds big cats in ways like this, and leave it at that.

• Hybrid Iguanas

Hey look, an example that was actually found happening in the wild! There’s a rarity alright. So, there are a handful of iguana species native to the Galápagos Islands. Three of them are terrestrial, and one is the impressively unique marine iguana- the only modern seafaring lizard species, in fact. I’ll give them their own Friday feature one day but anyway. Typically, the land and sea iguanas don’t have much of an overlap in breeding season or territory, but there was a curious incident we discovered on the South Plaza island back in 80s-90s.

Marine Amblyrhynchus cristatus (top left), the land-dwelling Conolophus subcristatus (top right), and a hybrid offspring of the two species (bottom)

At the time, see, the Galapagos were going through a pretty intense round of warm tropical cycles that caused a substantial loss of seabed kelp surrounding the islands. Since this is what makes up almost the entirely of the marine iguana’s diet, it led to an epidemic of scarce pickings among their species. Many of them starved off, but others, including the more aggressive, explorative, in-season males, started encroaching inland out of desperation for food. And this, along with the south island’s generally small size, is the main posed explanation for the dozens of hybrid land-sea iguanas that have been spotted on the strip over the years. Genetic testing has shown them to be the result of male marine lizards and female land iguanas, specifically, and though our knowledge could still change in the future, these hybrids are also assumed to be sterile first gens, which would explain why we don’t see many of them at once when we do.

• Commercial Bananas

Come on, you know I Just had to throw a plant in with the lot. They’d feel left out otherwise after I dedicated two of the last 3 write ups to fungus. There’s a number of crops that could have gotten this mention, but nanners is a funny word, so here’s the spill. We royally fucked up banana genetics a long time ago in their domestication. Every, single, banana you have ever grabbed out of the produce section of your local grocery is an asexual clone unfit for wild survival. They’re hybrids, too. Specifically, nearly all domestic varieties can trace a lineage back to a crossing between Musa acuminata and Musa balbisiana, originally two wild natives to South Asia. One of which just had some unappetizing flesh and the other was too chock flipping full of seeds for human preferences, real big seeds. It’s not really even recognizable as a “banana” to us now. See what I mean.

Well, the good news was that the offspring of the two, by some random miracle, produces fruit that was just culinarily superior in every single way to either of the parents’. It was effectively seedless, tastier, more vibrant, more nutrient packed, more “banana” if you will. The bad news was that these seedlings were completely sterile. Oops…unless👀?

The game changing good news 2.0 was that farmers realized they could still be easily propagated into genetically identical new plants off of cuttings from the original hybrids. And that’s how we got to the current state of commercial bananas. Personal confession, I still can’t freaking stand the smell, taste, or texture of them either way. Never have, never will, but maybe some of you can feel an appreciation for this happy little accident of agriculture that I cant.

I had some more examples to add onto the list that came up in my research, like Zebra-donkey/horse mixes, but I think I’m pretty comfortable with the length of this for the week. Perhaps I’ll give it a second part in the future. Until then, peace~