I Think Were Overdoing It With The Flowers. I Mean, Sure, If My Homecoming Date Gives Me A Rose, Thats

I think we’re overdoing it with the flowers. I mean, sure, if my homecoming date gives me a rose, that’s cute. But I think it would be so much better if she gave me a cool rock or shell. Kind of like how penguins find the most round and perfect pebble to give to their mates. If she gives me a fucking nautilus or something of the sort, I’m marrying her on the spot.

Unfortunately, this post did not age well and now it’s just suffering. There is no success whatsoever. Send help.

The original version of this post was “call me DJ Khaled the way I’m suffering from success” but I’ve now realized that my immense suffering has nothing to do with my relative success. They are just coincidentally simultaneous

I feel like if I had the vocal range to perform “For No One” by the Beatles perfectly, everything would be right in the world

LET ME HIT THE GODDAMN LOW NOTES!!

“But now she’s gone you no longer need heeouurr(groaning)”

Oh my god guys I’ve made a discovery.

Y’all probably knew this already but I just found out that octopi make little rock gardens and stuff outside their little cave homes.

OCTOPI DO YARD WORK?????

But like with cool zen statues and shi

Wait is that what “octopus’s garden” by the Beatles is about??

oh my god I have to remember to always read the name.

A random old lady walked up to me and asked if I was autistic. I told her I wasn't sure, and she said, "Would you like to be?"

Oh my god I just realized it autocorrected to “pumping pie” and honestly I think it’s infinitely more funny that way

I want pumpkin pie so fucking bad rn.

But it’s may

Where in the skibidi can I get a pumping pie in may.

Pie

Now

Please??