Shinra Decides To Promote Their Soldier Program By Having The Firsts Do A Car Wash. Wet Tiddies For Days.

Shinra decides to promote their soldier program by having the firsts do a car wash. Wet tiddies for days.

• Sephiroth completely misunderstands the assignment, as this is the first time he's being tasked by Shinra to do something that doesn't involve battle or an insane amount of paperwork. He's eager to perform well and wash the cars professionally.

• Genesis, instead of scrubbing, is showing off his body and posing for his fans. Sephiroth is unsatisfied with his performance. Sephiroth sprays him with the hose.

• Angeal is really confused by the gawking and staring....? He's just trying to do his job and wash the car properly, and it's hot outside! He has to keep his shirt off. The sight of Angeal's golden skin and abs exposed to the glistening sunlight makes people go wild. He stops his scrubbing for 0.4 seconds to wave to his fans. Sephiroth sees that he stopped working. Sephiroth sprays him with the hose.

• Angeal confiscates the hose from Sephiroth and hands into Zack instead.

• Zack loves hose duty! Now he can have loads of fun spraying the fans and cooling them down.

• Sephiroth diligently scrubs a car's driver side window. Two seconds later Genesis appears and draws a heart in the soap suds to flirt with the driver. Sephiroth sees that Genesis has besmirched the window he just cleaned. Sephiroth is enraged.

• Zack accidentally sprays water directly into a car. Angeal rushes over and takes the hose from him—can he not trust anyone with the hose? Fine, he'll take hose duty.

• Angeal looks over and Sephiroth is in the process of lecturing Genesis on his poor work ethic and lack of consideration for their car wash.

• Angeal thinks Sephiroth has to loosen up a bit, so he sprays him with the hose.

• Sephiroth sees this as an act of defiance and tries to grab the hose from Angeal. Angeal passes it to Genesis. The three of them are now getting 0 work done and are instead chasing each other around trying to keep the hose away from each other.

• Lazard shows up to see how it's going, he sees Zack washing the cars alone and using a water spell to rinse the vehicles.

Lazard: Where's the hose?

Zack: I'm meeting up with them later.

Lazard:

(Hi! I LOVE YOUR BLOG!) Headcannons for how Sypha (Castlevania) would introduce her gf to Trevor and Alucard??

ANSWERING THIS AFTER 9999 YEARS BUT SYPHA??? OH THE LOVE OF MY LIFE???????????????

I GOTCHU AND IM SORRY IT TOK SO LONGGGGGGG

Bruh so like as much of a spunk mage Sypha be, she can get nervous. And like it’s kinda cute when she is, she stutters and gets all huffy and blushy and IM?????

But like after some time of talking and hand holding and assuring her this is her own thing and like she can take however much time she needs to get ready, she comes to her decision on her own.

Sypha most likely brings up her relationship status (after bragging about you to Alucard and Trevor for like a long ass time) one evening and is like: “Do y’all wanna meet my partner? I love them so much and I think I’m ready.”

Trevor is 100% ready for this funky ass lil mage to introduce her partner to them because he has sent a message thru Sypha that roughly says: “If u fucking hurt her I’ll hunt you down with the Morning Star myself”

Alucard on the other hand is prepared, like a man at a job interview, ready to answer any and all questions you may have and ask some of his own. 

So tada! Here you four are, sitting around the fire.

“This is my partner! PLease be nice to them! Don’t kill them pls and thanks.”

“It’s wonderful to finally meet you, Sypha has literally not shut up about you-” “Alucard stfu” “But it’s true! It’s only good things, I promise!”

“So YOU’RE Sypha’s partner? Nice, want some beer?” “....sure?”

All in all, both of the boys are protective of Sypha in different ways.

Both are like big bros but like...different

They both know that Sypha can take care of herself but while Trevor outright threatens you, Alcuard is like: “If you hurt Sypha, you’re digging your own grave lmao”

All the while Sypha is nervous and found clinging to your hand but the boys like ya. 

And then Trevor immediately tries to get you go on this whole scheme thing he has of pranking Alucard and Sypha

Bokuto has stretch marks because i said so

Ruisoix Leveilleur

Could I request some reverse comfort with pre-Nibelheim Sephiroth? He’s been through so much he deserves to feel loved 😭

Your Sephiroth fics are so cute they warm my heart!!

HE DESERVES ALL THE LOVE 🩷 i'm so glad you've liked my writing for him, it means the world to me🥺🩷 i hope you like this one too! thank you for requesting<3

sephiroth x reader with no pronouns used

comforting seph after a nightmare

2:19

the shinra brand alarm clock on the nightstand glows in a muted blue among the moonlight of the bedroom but it wasn’t what you had expected to see when your tired eyes opened. sephiroth should have been there, the broadness of his body blocking the view of the clock while he held you in his arms. like it was every night you got to be together.

you aren’t sure what it is that woke you. you can’t recall the dream you were having or if you felt the bed dip when sephiroth seemingly slipped out of it. maybe it was both or neither or something else entirely; something you couldn’t explain logically but that was like your heart had known he needed you and was sure to jolt you awake. 

whatever it was, you’re glad it did as you blink away the sleepiness of your eyes and sit up in bed, immediately seeing him at the edge of the mattress with his back to you. in the dim silver light his long hair looks ethereal, like tangible soft strands of starlight cascading down his bare back; his skin milky pale and delicate to the touch. years of discolored scars littered on his back, bullet wounds, sword slashes and burns, tells you others hadn’t thought so but it didn’t change how you saw him.

sephiroth doesn’t move or make any indication that he hears you when you crawl across the bed to reach him. outside the sheets the room is cold, the chill making your exposed arms and legs break out in goosebumps but you can feel his natural warmth the closer you get to him. 

“seph?” your voice is barely a whisper in the quiet room but you’re sure even without his soldier hearing he would have heard you.

he doesn’t reply. doesn’t move.

gingerly you reach for him, placing the pads of your fingers between his shoulder blades and the hair that lays over it. you feel the tensing of his entire body at the sudden touch. gentle as it was, it seemed to break him from whatever thoughts or memories or dreams that he had been living in that woke him. 

he says your name but something tells you it's for him more than for you, as if to tell himself you’re here and it’s okay. you can’t ignore how rough his voice is. “did i wake you?” 

shuffling on your shins and knees to be closer to him, you wrap your arms around his middle and press your cheek against his back, shaking your head. “no, it’s okay.” a quiet moment passes with his heart hammering under your palms on his chest before tenderly, tentatively, you ask, “did you have a bad dream?”

nightmares were nothing new to sephiroth, you knew, despite how many he suffered alone but you never wanted that to be the case again. you’d dream them for him if possible, as scary as you worry they are. not that he would ever want or ask that of you but it’s not as if you could pluck them from his mind and replace them with something kinder, sweeter, while you took on the weight, no matter how much you wished you could. so you would have to settle for this, holding him, reminding him he is loved and isn’t alone. he never would be again.

he swallows and takes his first steady breath since before you began to hold him. when he speaks again, he sounds more like the sephiroth you know, with the lace of tenderness reserved only for you. “it’s late, let’s get you back to bed.” he lays his hand over yours, attempting to turn in your hold but you stay steady and don’t release your arms from around him.

of course he could escape if he really wanted to. quite easily too you have no doubt. his strength outmatched yours in every way but to sephiroth, you held his world in your palms; you are his ultimate weakness. there is nothing he wouldn’t do for you and there was no fighting the love and comfort in the weight of you pressed against his back and the way you bury your face in his hair.

“my love,” you coo as if you found what he said to be silly. nuzzling into him, you place a kiss along his spine, feeling him sigh under your lips, and speak softly against his skin. “i won't be able to sleep if i’m worried about you.”

that wasn’t something he could argue with or refute. he wouldn’t be able to either if the roles were reversed right now but he doesn’t want you to worry or lose your own sleep because of him. “i’ll be alright,” he says and he truly does believe it. every nightmare, every sleepless night, had come and gone no matter how horrible they were. this one would be no different. 

except it would be because tonight you’re here.

“can i stay with you until you’re feeling better then?” you ask, still so gentle and kind, but not giving him a chance to try to coax you back into bed. you weren’t going to give up or give in so easily. you squeeze him tighter. 

sephiroth leans back into you then, not enough to have you holding up even half of his weight but just so he could be fully in your embrace. letting himself need you, accept you, be vulnerable with you. “i’d like that.”

you smile against his skin and after a silent moment, much to his dismay, release him from your arms and start to move away from him but your touch doesn’t go far and instinctively he’s pulled back to you; your hand that brushes long silver bangs behind his ear so you can see his mako eyes and the dark circles beneath them, your other that grabs his hand and rubs soothing shapes over his still burning skin.

he leans into your palm on his cheek, lets his eyes flutter closed and your love wash over him while he grasps onto your hand like a life line in his gentle strength. finally his heart starts to slow, beat by beat trying to match your own that he feels under his fingers. the images he saw in his dreams are painted over with every gentle stroke of your touch and replaced with something so delicate and divine he almost dare not look lest his gaze ruin it but you wouldn’t let that happen and he would do anything you asked, fall to his knees in front of you if you said the word, kill for you, die for you, muster every bit of gentleness he once thought he wasn’t capable of just to hold you against him like you deserve, like you’re the most precious thing on the planet. 

though at this moment, it seems to be him that’s being held like porcelain, looked after and cared as if it was priceless despite every crack and chip and missing piece he slowly relieved to you.

“c’mere,” you beckon with a pull of his hand and so easily he follows you back into bed, between your legs and into your welcoming arms. his weight is so comfortable on top of you.

sephiroth settles with his head against your chest and his arms tightly wrapped around your middle. at the feeling of your fingers in his hair, carding gently through the silky strands, he completely melts against you, your touch a soothing balm that seeps into his very soul but that tingles and burns in its own way.

it always had whenever you had touched him. the uncomfortableness of loving care that leaves him not knowing how to act when it could break him more easily than any blade or bullet that had opened his flesh. loving care that he has only known so deeply, so purely, with you; that tears open his chest and lets you reach into the deepest parts of him to do as you please.

taking in a deep breath that’s so full of you, his arms tighten around your middle until he’s worried he might snap you in half if he puts any more pressure behind it but you don’t complain or squeak out in discomfort. you only pull him in closer in return, one hand on his back and your other fingers tangling in his hair as you gently press him against your chest with his ear right over your steadily beating heart.

“it’s okay seph..” you speak so softly, more than he ever thought he deserved. so different than he had once dreamed of as a small child coming from his mother, the feeling bringing him unmeasurable solace. “i’ve got you.”

he doesn’t know how much time passes until his hold on you loosens when his tired body and even more exhausted mind get lost in your warmth and love but he doesn’t worry as he slips in and out of consciousness. you continue to hold him, repeating your promises, running your hand through his hair, keeping him safe from a force no amount of physical strength or power has been able to stop thus far.

only you, your gentleness, your love, had been strong enough to keep it away, even if only for the night. it had been so much more than he could ask for, more than he had ever been able to do by himself but that you did like it was the easiest thing in the world and as if it was your duty, your pleasure to do so.

perhaps one day they would even stop completely. one day when he can make the much better dream now playing behind his eyes a reality; his dream of keeping you safe in a normal life together. no shinra. no labs. no war or fighting. just you, his love, his angel, and forever getting to be by your side.

main masterlist

their reactions to you packing their lunch

ʚ incl: gojo, geto, nanami, toji, choso, sukuna, higuruma, shiu, ino, shoko, uraume, ijichi

ʚ cont: suggestiveness, fluff, crack

MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DNI

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