namfinessed

.kel.

probably depressed but at least i write shit

140 posts

Almost, Always - K.sj.

almost, always - k.sj.

genre: fluff, angst (6.2k)

summary: how much of life will pass you by without loving anyone? or a fic in which you yearn and yearn and yearn for life and seokjin.

all works in the series can be real individually.

(reposting because it didn’t upload properly before)

masterlist series masterlist (colors!universe)

your life had been exactly as you had imagined.

simple, monotonous, spontaneous nights that seemed to throw a blanket on the routine, but it had always been just that, just a few moments to make up for the others that you could barely call ‘moments’.

you reasoned to yourself that maybe life was just this, an endless routine with speed breaks in the middle to make it exciting with a drunken night, a hook-up, a date, a relationship but they all fade, and you’re left on the train of routine again.

because why would anything be exciting if it happened every day?

partying every day would make you sick of the hazy lights and the moving bodies, drinking every day would make you used to the recklessness it achieves, and smoking every day would make clean air feel like too much.

but regular life isn’t exciting enough either, is it?

how would it be exciting if you spent all of your youth cleaning tables and making coffee for tired strangers?

“steve carter!” you called out loudly to the busy café as you placed his order on the counter.

a black coffee.

you had always judged people for ordering black coffee, something about a person genuinely wanting to have that soul-less drink every day, unnerved you.

a blonde, white man came to pick up the cup, looked up at you, rolled his eyes, and walked away briskly.

you would scoff at his behavior if that wasn’t how people usually treated employees in the service sector and you definitely had bigger things to worry about than some man with attitude.

as afternoon flew, you dreaded your night shift even more but god knows you need the money. you had so many birthdays of friends this month and as much as the look on their faces when they open their gifts made it all worth it, it still was a large cut from your wages.

you loved your friends but would you even talk to these people five years down the lane?

was it mean of you to think about your friends this way?

you can’t remember the last time you had a positive thought about anything, at least one which is not followed by a million doubts about the goodness in it.

it was hard for you to believe that people can be truly good because you knew the worst parts of yourself and you knew those worst parts existed in everyone in different ways, how can you trust anyone with those parts in them?

night came.

you hated the moon.

it was pathetic to have to borrow light just to shine. if you shine, you shine, if you don’t, you don’t. you didn’t see a point in its borrowed glow.

maybe you just hated everything. maybe you will never love before you become ash.

the bell dinged.

the otherwise silent café filled with loud laughter and you groaned internally.

groups of friends were annoying to deal with, they always laugh too much when they place an order and some think it’s funny to crack jokes on the server giving them their order, you’ve seen it all and you were too tired of it to defend yourself.

you reluctantly looked up as a figure walked up to the counter to see a man smiling as he approached. if you hated rude customers, you hated those who thought they were better than others by smiling at servers, even more. if you’re smiling at employees to satisfy some self-validation you need, you’re worse.

“hello, what can i get you?” you mumble just loud enough for him to hear. “what do you have?” he hummed as he kept smiling and you almost glare at him. when he didn’t look like he got the hint, you pointed to the menu that was hanging above your head with a blank stare, “this is what we have.”

he purses his lips as you point out his error but when he looks back up, there’s no embarrassment on his face nor any annoyance, he just smiles again.

you are irritated by his smile already.

but it does make you tilt your head at him, usually, by this action itself, an employee pointing out the obvious is seen as rude. customers want to be nice to the employees who are ever so grateful, ever so cordial, and ever so obedient, as soon as an employee shows human traits besides the ones required for serving, a customer sees no need to see them as human.

but he smiled, and he’s still smiling.

“i should’ve looked up” he chuckles at himself and you know that if you agree, you’re going to be out of a job, so you stay silent. “i’ll take six black coffees and one hot chocolate, please.”

black coffee.

of course, everyone wants that soul-less drink at this hour.

“what should i put the name as?”

“kim seokjin on the hot chocolate, please.” he hands you his card.

kim seokjin.

it was a nice name, you weren’t going to lie. and hot chocolate is a nice drink, your favorite actually, you wonder if it’s for him or someone else.

“it’ll be ready in ten minutes, thank you sir.” you punch the order in and slide the card over the counter. you don’t look at him again, his smile unnerves you. as you make the drinks, you wonder why you can’t get his smile out of your mind.

objectively speaking, you have seen more beautiful smiles but most of them were just that, just beautiful. smiles for vanity. but he seemed to genuinely want to smile, not really caring to be beautiful, just caring to smile.

you shake your head at yourself, the night shift was finally getting to you.

“kim seokjin!” you yell as you place a tray on the counter, and instead of him, someone else comes to pick up the order, they also smile at you. a beautiful smile. you just hand the tray over and go back to wiping the counters.

but out of the corner of your eye, you don’t know why but you look over to where they were sitting with hesitant glances, you watch him to see if he chose the garbage drink or the drink that made you feel ever-changing seasons.

you wait as the friend places the tray on the table.

you wait as everyone hurriedly takes their drink, conversing all over each other.

you wait for everyone to move so you can see what he took.

you wait as everyone falls back to their seats and take a sip from their drinks.

you wait as your eyes fall on him and then his hands which held a mug.

he took the hot chocolate.

he smiles at the taste.

you smile at the counters you wipe.

“but why would you need afternoon shifts? you have a baby at home” you couldn’t help but judge your older co-worker who wanted to take your afternoon shifts and give you the night shifts. she purses her lips at your tone but doesn’t say anything.

“my husband’s working nights, someone needs to stay home with the baby. so, please let me work in the afternoon instead, i’ll talk with the manager myself.” she pleads with you and you shrink a little, maybe you judged too quickly.

you always do.

you didn’t have any reason to deny night shifts, you don’t have a kid at home to use as an excuse, so you agree with a sigh that has your co-workers breathing out in relief.

nights were boring.

you played with the keys on the computer and aimlessly swiped on tinder to pass the time, but nothing could really make the boredom feel any better.

the bell dinged.

your heart lurched for a second as a burst of familiar laughter poured into the café.

it was the same group.

six black coffees and one hot chocolate.

same guy.

same smile.

this was your fourth time seeing that smile.

not a beautiful smile, just a smile.

just kim seokjin.

you unconsciously follow his body as it moves across the store, you didn’t realize how long your eyes were following him until he was coming towards you. you spun around to hurriedly grab some mug and start wiping it.

it was a clean mug.

“hello, can i place my order?” his song-like voice forced you to acknowledge him. your hands tightened on the mug, why were you even cleaning it? why did you care about him catching you staring?

“o-one second!” and why the fuck are you stuttering?

you wiped your palms on your apron, you hadn’t even noticed how sweaty they were and walked up to the till with the most unbothered face you could make.

“what can i get you?” you clear your throat, not even trying to look up at him, and on the other side of the counter, seokjin tilted and dipped his head so his eyes would meet your downcast ones.

when they met, he smiled and you, well, you looked further down.

“just six black coffees and-“

“one hot chocolate” you finish punching in the order, not noticing that he hadn’t finished his sentence. seokjin’s eyes widen at you before they become half-crescents as his smile reaches full bloom, “exactly that.”

you don’t care.

you don’t care that he has the same favorite drink as you.

you don’t care that his smile looks like a floating cloud.

you don’t care that somehow your brain remembers his half-crescent eyes even after they’ve long disappeared.

you don’t care that you take extra time to make the heart on his hot chocolate.

you are the least bit bothered about kim seokjin.

this time, a beautiful smile doesn’t come to pick up the order, it’s the real one again, his eyes squint at the heart you spent so much time making and he smiles to himself, it’s much different from his usual one. it’s softer, more hidden, and much more beautiful but also more real, if that was even possible. he shakes his head at himself as he carries the tray to his loud friends.

the chaos continues, and you continue to sneak glances at him whenever you could. the way he talked with a certain gentle playfulness with them, the way he argued with a pout, the way he seemed to make everyone at the table laugh.

you want to laugh with him, you are not the funniest person but you could try.

when he stands up to leave with his friends, you pretend to wipe the counters as you try to catch your final glances of him for the night.

turn back.

your shoulders that were bunched in anticipation, fall with a heaviness when he leaves without another look nor another smile. you could have used one more smile from him for this dreaded shift.

will it always be just this? just glances to quench your curiosity but not a brush of his skin against your fingers? will you always just look and never find out? will your eyes feed the hunger your heart felt? will you always remain this starved?

you sigh and step away from the counter, shaking your head at your loud doubts.

maybe you are a little bothered about kim seokjin.

seokjin had never been much of a café person, he always felt they were too quiet and that he was disturbing the people around him by simply existing and he wasn’t even a fan of coffee.

but café’s at midnight held a certain charm to him.

especially with his friends who had the ability to make any place as lively as it could be.

especially with a barista who seemed to like drawing hearts in his hot chocolate.

he had thought he had somehow conjured up the smile you gave your counters, the flustered state you were in, and the many glances toward his table, in his imagination.

did he try to be funnier than he usually was so that you would think he’s a cool guy?

seokjin would say no.

his friends would say yes.

his friends would also insist on going to the same café so that he could see the cute barista who seemed to have caught his attention.

“you want us to do what?” jungkook gave his friend an ugly look. “don’t come to the café anymore.” seokjin firmly declared (requested, really).

“you know the only reason she might think you are even half-cool is that we laugh at your horrible jokes, just so that she would look, right?” jimin stated the fact that they all knew and seokjin grew red from embarrassment.

“well, i want to talk to her. alone.” he murmured the last part, he didn’t need his friends to hear that too loudly but oh, they never let go.

the next hour, seokjin spent it begging and bribing his friends who wouldn’t budge but at the cost of finishing their errands from time to time, convinced them enough to back off.

now, seokjin would go alone.

he will get a hot chocolate.

and hopefully, a smile from you.

night shifts were tiring you out, you only got a few hours of sleep before you had to run to classes and it never got easy.

but as you carefully practiced hearts to draw on drinks, you knew you didn’t hate it all too much either.

he hadn’t come yet, you didn’t get the smile that kept you going today, there was no loud chaos or laughter in the café either and it was starting to worry you.

maybe he wasn’t coming back.

maybe the hearts were too much.

maybe his friends warned him about the barista who kept staring at him.

maybe he just didn’t like the hot chocolate and was smiling at another barista.

but you don’t care. you will keep telling that to yourself until you stop caring, until you stop anticipating his presence in your mundane routine.

the bell dinged.

your head snapped up faster than you would ever admit.

it was kim seokjin.

only kim seokjin.

that was odd.

no black coffee.

he’s always surrounded by his friends and you had taken the liberty of admiring him whenever you could, only because you were positive that his friends had all his attention, the chances of him catching you were zero.

“hello!” seokjin approached the counter with a wave and his usual smile, but this time, his greeting wasn’t too formal, he greeted you with familiarity, he greeted you as a friend would. inside, seokjin trembled, his hand froze in air as he desperately wished that tonight would go the way he wants.

you hesitantly lifted a hand up too.

you didn’t want to be his friend.

never his friend.

“one black coffee, please” you almost recoil when he says that.

a black coffee?

who was this guy?

how the fuck were you going to draw a heart on a black coffee?

“…black coffee?” you repeated, just to make sure you hadn’t heard him wrong and this wasn’t some parallel universe where he chooses black coffee over hot chocolate.

“yes, just one” he nods and you purse your lips as you type the order in, you can’t believe you like this guy. “it’ll be right up.” you mumble back and sigh as he smiles and proceeds to take a seat.

you will not acknowledge that his seat gives him a perfect view of the counter, where you’re working.

“kim seokjin!” you hold the cup instead of placing it on the counter, you hold your breath as he walks over, he reaches out for the drink in the same minute that you thrust it forward and your hands graze his.

both of your heads snap up, the little touch leaving your insides bursting with wild butterflies and you could feel your face heating up as the moment lulls over you two. you gauge each other’s reaction.

does he hate it?

does she hate it?

should i move?

but i want to stay in this temporary bliss of contact, your hands seem warm, i want to freeze them in mine.

reality comes to you slowly, a gentle wake-up call to you both that you can’t stand there forever and both of you move away.

no! wait, touch me more.

the cup falls between you two. you don’t even move but seokjin lunges to reach for the cup.

half of it is empty by the time it’s in his hands.

he wants to crawl inside the ground with the way you’re smiling at the scene, you want to crawl into his arms and pat his exertion away from his face. but both of you don’t let it show, because how could you? you don’t know each other.

you expect him to walk back to his seat, demand another cup, and maybe even throw a tantrum. but you also know that won’t happen. you don’t know him but you know that he wouldn’t do such a thing.

seokjin stays right where he stands, coffee dripping from the side of his cup. this wasn’t how he had imagined it would go.

he sips his drink.

his face falls into a grimace.

and you hold back your giggles.

“hot chocolate?” you gleefully ask him and he nods with a scowl still on his face, “yes, please, never black coffee again.” he grumbles as he walks away to his seat.

in that minute, you decide that you like him again. just a little.

and seokjin thinks of how many other ways he can bribe his friends to stay away because if it meant another minute of your smile that seemed to put the moonlight to shame, he might just say that he’ll finish all their assignments, as long as they stay away, as long as he gets to see you, alone, in glances.

he looks up to see you aimlessly scrolling on your phone, only to scold his eyes to look down when you glance at seokjin. you look away, as if you’d never looked at him in the first place, but your red cheeks are a traitor. he’s no better, a similar red blankets his face.

he will be satisfied with these glances for now.

just for now.

the bell dinged.

a new night.

a new way to look at seokjin without his knowledge.

but you won’t get to. it was probably the temp making his hot chocolate as you sipped on the lukewarm wine that was served at your friend’s birthday party.

you can’t believe a 20-something-year-old still wants house parties, still wants to serve cheap wine and vodka with neon lights falling on their heads. you guess if you were as rich as she was, you would try to be immature for as long as you could too.

you had thought everyone was too depressed to enjoy that kind of shit anymore but here you were, the expensive gift you got her (cost of four shifts, actually) lying under her bed as she fucked someone on it and you were stuck between people who sweat too much and men who got handsy with the excuse of being intoxicated.

if you hadn’t felt the social obligation to be here, especially because she considered you her closest friend, you would be making hearts on hot chocolate for someone, who several feet away, made you feel the buzz that you assumed everyone around you felt.

will the temp make his heart today?

he better not, making hearts for seokjin’s hot chocolate was your thing.

“hey?” it couldn’t be.

it shouldn’t be.

you wish you could pretend you didn’t recognize that voice.

he should be in the café right now, having his hot chocolate with his friends around him, he’s supposed to be laughing his head off at something they say, he’s not supposed to be here in this sweaty pool of adults who refuse to grow up.

“hot chocolate.” leaves your lips in a disappointed sigh to mask the underlying roaring excitement you felt, you didn’t want to see him here but the world really was small. he smiles when you face him, you wonder what it’s like to have a smile that forced you to just let go of everything that worried you.

“took a break from that for whatever this is, for today.” he doesn’t fail to mention it’s for today.

just for today, i’ll drink this cheap wine. tomorrow, i’ll be back for the hearts you make in my hot chocolate.

tomorrow, i’ll be back for you, just to never have the courage to come up and talk to you, just to have enough courage to look at you in glances.

but today, he will talk to you, even if words fail him, he will talk to you in whichever way he can.

“i’m assuming you know the birthday girl?”

“her closest friend, apparently” you shrug and he laughs silently into his cup, “apparently.” he muses with a smirk and you roll your eyes playfully.

“what are you doing here?”

why are we talking like old friends?

“a plus one.” oh.

so, he was here with someone.

nothing good ever comes into your life, does it?

“of a friend!” he yells in a rush, a few people turn to see what the noise is all about, and a dark red flush takes over his ears and neck. relief dances on your skin as you stifle a laugh at the scene he’s caused.

he meets your amused eyes with his embarrassed ones, quickly looking away to gulp the rest of his wine, he needed courage, he needed to stop boring you, and he needed to get to know this person who’s been on his mind.

“so-“ he starts.

“s-“ you start.

you both stop, a wide grin taking over his face as your frown disappeared into your skin. today was going to be good. “go on.” you gesture to him.

“do you want to maybe go upstairs, to the balcony? it’s quiet there, we can talk” seokjin says with great difficulty, pausing, resuming, but saying it.

you deflate.

yeah, all men were the same. all they ever wanted was one thing, a quick fuck, why else would he want to go where no one else is there?

but you are attracted to him, it’s been a while since you have gotten laid, so you will give it to him.

you will never make hearts for a man in your life again.

“sure, let’s go” seokjin can’t read your face, but upon your agreement, follows you up the stairs.

your face scrunches into a frown again, you knew it was too good to be true, you knew that men like him were always too good to be true but you let your heart slip anyway.

never again.

aside from her never-ending heels collection, one thing you will envy about your friend is the massive terrace she had. you always escaped here when she would snore.

the cold air greets you again, its embrace is familiar, its embrace is what you needed to put you back in the ground where love was all but a joke to you.

you don’t turn back to see if seokjin is coming, he doesn’t ask you to look back, he’s flustered as is.

seokjin’s never felt this refreshed to meet a person. he’s always been able to predict someone he’s met, their habits, their interests, their mannerisms, but you, you just felt brand new. a totally blank slate that he didn’t know what to expect.

“you know, i was pretty shocked when you got a black coffee that one time” you recalled as you leaned on the railing, your wrists going limp at the edge, “thought i’d see what the hype is all about.” he replies, leaning next to you, but maintaining a distance.

“and you found out it was shit” you hummed and he grimaces at the memory of the bitter, dead flavor that coated his mouth, “shit is a nice way to put it.” you laugh at the face he makes.

“you don’t know my name.” it dawns on you that you never actually gave him your name, “i don’t know anything about you.”

“would you like to keep it that way?”

do you want this night to be just one of many that mask the monotony in my life?

do you want to forget about this once we leave this night behind?

“not at all” his reply is quick, “if you’d let me, i would like to know everything.” he was a charmer, you will give him that, you wish you were foolish enough to just fall, fall and fall for a pretty face and pretty words.

maybe being naïve was the key to keeping people in your life.

“you don’t have to flatter me seokjin, we’re already alone” a bitter laugh and your name follows your words and he frowns. you feel confused at the furrow in his brows, wasn’t this the moment that he would just take you?

“i don’t understand?” he moves closer, not intentionally, but by instinct, he wants to understand why there’s this deep loneliness in your eyes even as you laugh.

“isn’t that what we came here for?” you gesture to the empty terrace with a heated face, it was devoid of sound, devoid of witnesses. it doesn’t dawn on him, seokjin had always been a little behind things like this.

you inch forward to him, he couldn’t be as innocent as he looked to be, you had a feeling he was just fooling you, that he was playing around with you, so you were going to test him.

seokjin’s eyes widen as your feet approach him, in slow, drawn-out steps, the grip he had on his wine glass slips a little as you look up at him with eyes clouded with, desire? determination? he wasn’t sure anymore.

he wasn’t sure what you were doing, but he couldn’t look away, he couldn’t move away.

his heart thundered as you approached him, his hand places the wine glass unsteadily on the edge of the wall.

never in his life before has seokjin ever felt so trapped and free, you were an inch away and his hand balled to a fist at his side. he couldn’t touch you, not now.

your face lined with his, a hairline distance between you two as your eyes shifted from his eyes, to his rounded cheeks, to his chiseled jaw, to his lips that looked like clouds. you had never wanted someone all to yourself, you had never wanted someone so badly but you were on a mission here.

with the lack of personal space, you waited for him to prove to you that he’s just like other men, at some point, they always do. you look up at him with welcoming eyes, invitation clear on your face. any man would go crazy, lose control, and blame it all on the bedroom eyes you gave.

you wait for him to grab you in urgency, you wait for him to ravish you under the moonlight, you wait for him to do anything that will make you turn and run away once tonight ended but seokjin just always had to be different.

seokjin watches you for a beat, two beats, three beats, enough beats for his heart to settle a little.

he grabs your hand, then your other hand, slowly, unsurely, giving you the space to move away, to back off if you didn’t like it. but your lips part, both in surprise and anticipation. your stomach turns in the most wonderful way when he nuzzles his cheek against your hands with a desire deep in his eyes, the warmth in his face envelopes your hands but his body stays away, his body lets you make the call.

ravish him. or not.

pull him into a kiss. or not.

let your mind give up fighting this. or not.

he’s proved you wrong.

seokjin waits and waits patiently as you continue to struggle internally, you hadn’t thought it would go this way, you hadn’t thought his grip would be so soft but grounding, you hadn’t thought that he would look so much prettier up close, you hadn’t thought the night would make you yearn for something you never had.

so, you pull him in, drag him in, and he doesn’t move a muscle until your lips are on his, and then, then seokjin decides that he will let the moonlight take you two away from reality. then, seokjin knows you want this too.

whatever you two were supposed to be, whatever you two felt, melted between your lips. words died, lungs exhausted, skin burned and froze, both of you were suspended in this moment of the bliss of nothingness.

a splash of color spilled on the blank slate he had thought you to be, a mix of greys and whites and blacks and reds, seokjin thought he’s always looked good in those colors. he looked good in your colors.

when you pulled away, seokjin’s hands stayed nestled around the curve of your jaw as he observed the state of you, your lips were red and swollen, your body fought to be closer to him and your eyes were closed as if you couldn’t bear it was over.

seokjin’s eyes dance over your face as his heart settles after racing for so long, he’s never seen a more beautiful sight.

you looked like the night, not the lonely, drowning dark of it as you would have assumed, but the stars and bare, flickering illumination that made everything look more magical. you looked like the nights that people lived for, people got ready for, the nights that people celebrated.

“your eyes don’t look so sad anymore?” your mouth opens and closes at his wandering question.

i’ve always hated the world around me, i only didn’t hate it when you were taking my breath away, when you were killing me and pouring life into me again. but i’ll tell you all this another day. if there is another day.

“i just got kissed real good” leaves your lips in hushed giggles and your laughter only grows when seokjin’s red flush takes over his neck and ears. he rubs the back of his neck with a wide smile on his face.

the real smile.

the smile that tilted your universe on its axis but kept you steady.

“maybe you should kiss me more, then.” he tries and fails to sound unfathomably confident as he says that but one eyebrow raise from you has him breaking into chuckles again. “are we getting too smart, kim seokjin?”

“i don’t know about smart, but i’m definitely getting too lucky.” he leans his forehead on yours and a sigh of bliss leaves his parted lips.

you made him feel lucky? has anyone else said this, have they only ever called you a burden, a baggage, a weight they can’t pull?

“i make you feel lucky?” rushes out of you, you were desperate to know if you were capable of making another person feel that way. seokjin can’t tell if you’re joking or not. but he sees the pool of tears that gather at the corners of your eyes and that’s when he knows, you have never heard those words before.

“one random night, my friends decided to get shit drunk and wander around for coffee, i turned up with them at this small café that we never looked at before. they tell me they were too drunk to order, i complained and came close to fighting them but i gave in. i came face to face with someone i want to figure out for the rest of my life. i would say i’m pretty fucking lucky.”

every word that leaves him have you gripping tighter to his shirt. as if he will say all of this and go, never come back, leaving you with the beauty of a memory but not the relief of a routine.

his hands slip from your jaw to close around the hand that pulls his shirt, and he tugs you closer, seokjin’s smile is softer, it’s eroded in the edges at the knowledge of your struggle to believe or not, run or not, stay or not. he wasn’t going to stop if you run, but he wasn’t going to stop chasing after you either.

“you really mean that?” you have to ask, people say this and leave, people say lots of things they don’t mean, people say things out of awkwardness, out of circumstance, out of emotions that overwhelm them but they throw those words away just the same.

“what do i have to do to make you believe me?” ask me anything, right now, the world is dancing at my feet and i want to give it to you.

“never take black coffee again” he smiles, largely, a small laugh as he steps away from you only to drift back just as quickly, “done, never black coffee again.” seokjin’s hands rub circles on your cheeks and you were right, his hands were warm, his hands held you with gentleness, not afraid that you’ll break, but afraid that you will slip away.

“you have to come everyday to the café or i’ll forget you.” i can never forget you, you’re etched into every night i’ll see out the window, every mug of hot chocolate i’ll hold, every smile around me that is beautiful but not true, but you can’t know that now.

“is that all?” he hums in amusement as he brushes your hair back, he had never planned on going anywhere else. you think for a second, two seconds and he just lets his fingers get used to your skin that dips beneath his touch.

beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.

“you have to never stop smiling.” his smile was one that your heart caught and refused to let go, his smile made you feel that every horrible day would fly by in a breeze.

“i have one condition too” seokjin declares and you stand straight.

“you have to smile with me.” your breath hitches as he states his condition, you didn’t expect that, you weren’t one to smile much, “i’ll try” you can only try, you can’t just erase the years of hate you hold for your life.

“that’s enough for me” you can keep trying forever and i’ll wait forever, but i won’t give up, i won’t leave.

for the first time, you don’t feel the weight of expectations, of a good life, of a good partner, of a good touch, of a good love, you feel light, you feel that you can do anything. you felt excited, the same rush that spontaneous nights brought in, the same rush that unconsciousness brought, the same rush that you’ve been failing to catch up to all your life.

but even if you don’t know seokjin all that much still, you knew this wouldn’t drift away into nothing, it wouldn’t just be something you will yearn for, something you just remember, it will be something that you will live everyday.

“should we go down downstairs?” he notices the goosebumps rising on your arms and you do feel cold, the night was preparing to be day again afterall.

“no.” seokjin laughs at your answer, “then, come here.” he tuts at you before dragging you in by your arms and letting you nestle your body in his warmth.

you had a feeling you would never be cold again, you had a feeling he wouldn’t let you be cold ever again.

there would be another day.

the bell dinged.

your hands tightened on the mop you held; you knew who it was.

you popped up from behind the counter and seokjin smiles as soon as he catches a glance at you.

his heart clenches for a second, was it possible for a person to be more beautiful everyday? nothing else could explain you.

your eyes gaze dreamily at him, you always hated the moonlight but as it shined on him, you declared it wasn’t too bad.

“here you go” you hand him his daily hot chocolate, you drew a new kind of heart every single day he came in. you were running out of ideas as the days increased but that was fine. he takes the hot chocolate in one hand, your hand in another, and drags you to a table nearest to the counter.

his smile softens at the heart you drew today. it always did.

and when he meets your eyes over the cup, you smile back.

there would be another day.

there would always be another day with seokjin.

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