Jin Fic Recs - Tumblr Posts

my favorite bts fics so far (hyung!line)

hello lovely readers, i hope all of you are doing great. i've been wanting to make this post for a while now. i really want to share the amazing work and talent that many authors have on this app. as a literature fan and hopeless romantic myself, i made sure to pick out all the fics that i think are beautiful and amazing :)

disclaimers!!!!:

some of these fics contain nsfw content (minors dni), or some heavy themes, i am yoongi biased so excuse me if the fic ratio compared to the other members is waaayy bigger (like by a lot i am so so sorry), also this post is insanely long heh (once again, i am so so sorry :p), all pictures are from pinterest!

fluff- ♾️

angst- Ω

smut- ☻

crack/humor- ☼

i would sell my liver to read this again for the first time- ¶

Kim Seokjin

Turn Back Time- @raplinesmoon ♾️☼Ω☻

''pairing: baseball player!Seokjin x doctor!reader (based on the movie 13 Going On 30) genres/au/rating: fluff, humour, angst, smut, time travel au, 18+ summary: After total humiliation at his middle school baseball try outs, Kim Seokjin wants nothing more than for his awkward years to fade away until he’s thirty. Cue a magic baseball glove, and his wish is finally granted. Seokjin suddenly wakes up seventeen years later, now the star pitcher of the team he’d always dreamed of playing for. Confused and overwhelmed at the prospect of the new life waiting for him, he turns to the only person who seems to understand him — you. Will Seokjin learn what it truly means to be thirty, flirty, and thriving? Or will he find himself wishing he could turn back time?''

Every Year- @another-army-spot ♾️Ω☻

''Pairing: Jin x Reader, some implied Yoongi x reader and Namjoon x reader

Word: 15.6K

Genre: friends-to-lovers!au, richkids!au, chef!Jin, bookworm!oc, hard fluff, smut angst?

Summary:  As the daughter of the Kim’s closest friends, you’ve attended their extravagant annual New Year’s party since the year you were born.  No matter what you always spend time with your favorite childhood friend, Jin, who has always been there for you.  Here are the highlights of you and Jin realizing just how important you two are to each other.''

Let's get married as a joke- @burningupp Ω♾️

''Genre: angst, fluff

Pairing: Kim Seokjin x reader

Wordcount: 8210 (I’m so sorry)

Summary: Your best friend Jin has always had a talent of getting you into trouble. Maybe that’s why you’re not surprised that he asks you to marry him as a joke - or that you agree.''

friends get married all the time- @hobipost♾️

''The silly promise you made ten years ago comes back to bite your asses, and you’re both too weak to pretend it never happened

pairing: seokjin x f. reader

genres/tropes: friends to lovers, fluff

words: 2k+''

Min Yoongi

series:

The Truth Between Us- @jimlingss @gukyi ♾️Ω ☼ ¶

“⇒ summary: a book deal should be the most exciting time of your life, but there seems to be a constant and omnipresent damper on your mood in the form of a certain min yoongi, who you would just cut out from your life, if he weren’t your editor. but then, the world shifts beneath your feet, and you begin to wonder if maybe you’ve always been looking at life from the wrong angle.

⇒ enemies to lovers au with various other au’s thrown in there

⇒ word count: 14k (first chapter)

⇒ genre: fluff, angst, drama”

Dating advice- @taleasnewastime ♾️Ω☻

''Summary: It’s been months – ok, it’s been years – since you last went on a date. And you’re sick of it. Sick of seeing couples kissing and holding hands in the street. Sick of your friends settling down. Sick of everyone buying houses and having families. You’re going to do something about it. You’re going to snap up a man, you’re going to tie someone down, you’re going to finally commit, you’re going to – you’re going to need a bit of advice.

Pairing: Yoongi x reader

Genre: fluff; angst; smut

Word count: 54k

Status: Complete''

unexpected lovers- @jjkeverlast ♾️Ω☻

''-> pairing artist!yoongi x female reader

-> genre fake dating!au, romantic comedy

-> summary what happens when you meet min yoongi at the club, or well accidentally use him as your pawn to not get hit on. not knowing your cousins friend overhears and suddenly your whole family knows.

-> word count 19.8k''

Only Yesterday- @borathae ♾️☻Ω ¶

'' “Your life in a small countryside village was nothing of the extraordinary, you owned a quaint little teashop, enjoyed warm evenings in your garden and liked taking walks by the river. One day a handsome stranger moves in the abandoned cottage opposite side of the river and it is not long that he becomes a source of comfort in your life.”

Pairing: Yoongi x f.Reader

Genre: s2l!AU, Neighbours!AU, Teashop!AU, Slice of Life!AU, Romance, Fluff, Smut

Warnings: This is a very feel good story, meant to comfort the soul and warm the heart. However it contains talks about car accidents and memory loss, as well as sexually explicit scenes. If you are sensitive to such topics I advise you read with care. 

Wordcount: 78.620''

Signed in Black- @yoon-kooks♾️☻

''Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Genre: Soulmate!AU, BadBoy!AU, FLUFF, Smut [in future chapters]

Summary: Min Yoongi. That was the name magically tattooed to your skin. You were told he was your lover by fate. And as cute as it would be to have a soulmate, Yoongi was the last person you ever wanted to be bound to. But thankfully, there was a way to remove the tattoo. All you had to do was convince six Bulletproof Fairies that the two of you were in love.

Word Count: 3.3k'' (first chapter)

neon signs- @pantoneyoongi ♾️¶

''title ; neon signs [ drabble series ]  pairing ; campus crush!yoongi x campus crush!you 

description ; namjoon doesn’t think it can get any clearer outside of yoongi building a giant neon sign saying i have the absolute biggest crush on you but apparently, book smarts don’t exactly translate when it comes to you and your massive crush on min yoongi.

(alternatively: namjoon and hoseok try for three years straight to get you and yoongi together.)''

Reflection of You- @agustdakasuga ♾️Ω ¶

''Genre: Historical!AU, Timetraveller!AU/ Different Dimension, Romance

Pairing: SUGA x Reader, Yoongi x Reader

Characters: Normal!Reader, Idol!Suga, King!Yoongi, Guard!Seokjin, Guard!Jungkook, RoyalAdvisor!Namjoon, Servant!Jimin, Servant!Hoseok, Prince!Taehyung

Summary: Confirming you were dating the famous Min Suga of BTS, you knew you were bound to make some enemies. But what you didn’t expect was to be cursed, leading you to meet a cold-hearted, arrogant king that shares the same face as your rapper lover. ''

your universe- @muniimyg ♾️☻Ω ☼

''in which min yoongi refuses to lose you

+ 

regretting rejecting oc, min yoongi goes through a circus load of gestures and tasks in attempt to be loved again

pairings:

basketball captain // tsundere yoongi + sunshine // preschool edu major oc

au/genre:

friends to lovers 

uni au

one sided pining / rejection / redemption / a sad excuse of a slow burn

smut, crack, angst

social media au + written

warnings:

implied + actual smut

angst (oc is heartbroken and trying to move on from being initially rejected)

name calling, love/hate friendships, big egos, overprotective friends, childish social culture, and a burnt out era <;3 

parts:

ongoing ( ongoing/25 )''

andante cantabile- @kkulfm-2 ♾️☻¶

''pairing: myg x f!reader

genre: historical / regency au, fluff, smut

wc: 30.6k + 3.8k smutty bonus

summary: You are convinced Mr. Min is nothing but a rude and gloomy man after he leaves a horrible first impression on you. His friends' attempts to convince you otherwise are met with mixed success.''

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

oneshots:

Man of The Year- @raplinesmoon ♾️¶

''pairing: single dad!Yoongi x gn!reader genre(s): pure fluff, very minor angst au(s): graduation au word count: 2.7k warnings: some swearing, Yoongi is a little nervous, Yoongi is bad at flirting, this is so cute I could cry

rating: PG

summary: For the longest time, it’s always been Yoongi and his daughter, celebrating every milestone of life together. But today, that could change.''

Shut Eye- @alpacaparkaseok ♾️

''pairing/genre: idol!Yoongi x reader, fluff

premise: In a world where every night you meet your soulmate in your dreams only to forget their face and voice when you wake up, you’re now more desperate than ever to find them.

word count: 2.6k''

gold- @aquagustd Ω♾️☻

''↣ you’re in love with Min Yoongi, yes, you are, but why do you keep thinking of the boy who broke your heart into a million pieces when you should be focusing on the one who’s mending it.

pairing: yoongi x reader (past jungkook x reader)

genre: angst, fluff, smut, bff2l

word count: 17K''

stood up. -@parkdatjimin Ω☻♾️

''Three years after dumping your toxic boyfriend, you decide it's finally time to try the dating scene again. What you don't expect is for a handsome and confident CEO to come to your rescue after being stood up.

"Just play along. My name is Yoongi and whoever stood you up is a douche."

Pairings: CEO!yoongi x fem!reader

Genre: HEAVY angst, smut, lil fluff, slice of life, mutual pining, non-idol!au''

First-Date BAIT!- @jimlingss ♾️

''Words: 11.3k

Genre: Fluff

First dates are embarrassing. First dates are awkward. I’ve been through countless ones, sitting across from people who bored the living daylights out of me. It was less exciting than watching paint dry. Some dates were so utterly rude - I think you and I both know what it’s like to be on the receiving end on that. But now we both don’t have to waste our time anymore!

With First Date Bait they went out for me! Afterwards, they informed me if it was recommended to go out on a second date. It’s amazing with a 99.99% accuracy rate! That’s how I ended up meeting my husband!

First Date Bait. Why waste your time with awkward first dates?''

DreamCatcher- @jimlingss ♾️Ω

''Words: 13k (oops)

Genre: Fluff & Angst

Summary: When your dreams are more or less nightmares, monsters inside your head that eat you alive, it seems like the only person who can help you is Min Yoongi, professional dream chaser.''

Purr-haps I like you- @taleasnewastime ♾️

''Summary: You have a no pets policy where you live, but when you find a tiny kitten in a box on the side of the road, what can you do but bring it home with you? The only problem? The landlord who made the no pets rule, also happens to be your flatmate.

Pairing: Yoongi x reader

Genre: pure fluff; Flatmates au

Word count: 11.6k''

Wild Strawberries- @yoonia ♾️☻

''➤ Character / Genre: Min Yoongi x reader/female OC (told through Yoongi’s POV) | Lucid Dream!au, fluff, smut''

first love- @jungnoir Ω♾️

''⇢ summary:  yoongi meets you, seated next to him at a familiar brown piano, and he steals you away hours before your wedding day, seated next to him at a familiar brown piano + yoongi’s been in love with you since childhood and he only has the courage to tell you when you’re about to marry someone else.

⇢ relationship: min yoongi/reader.

⇢ genre: best friend!au, angst, romance. 

⇢ words: 5.6k''

strike a chord- @snackhobi ♾️☻¶

''pairing: yoongi x reader // word count: 15.8k // genre: smut

summary: your idea of a good night certainly doesn't involve being stood up by yet another blind date and finding yourself alone in a fancy bar; fortunately for you, there's an attractive man playing the piano to keep you busy, instead.''

Anyone But The Groom- @yoonjinkooked ♾️Ω☻

''❅ Summary: After a meet-cute that brings all the romcoms to shame, you realize that for once in your life, the stars have finally aligned and presented you a guy that might be able to make you believe in love at first sight. Only to find out that you’re in charge of planning his Christmas Eve Wedding.

❅ Pairing: Yoongi x female reader

❅ AU: Wedding Planner reader x Arranged Marriage groom Yoongi

❅ Genre: fluff, angst, smut, slow burn, will-they-won’t-they type of relationship

❅ Word Count: 36.5k (I AM SO SORRY)''

Not Even a Mouse- @softyoongiionly ♾️☻¶

''Summary:  The week before Christmas, you are tasked with delivering some paperwork to your father’s former business partner in order to secure your ownership of their legendary toy store. However, things don’t go as planned and a sudden blizzard keeps you cooped up inside the tiniest town you’ve ever seen, Snow Falls. You keep telling yourself that it’s the weather that’s keeping you here, but after a visit to Min’s Mini Mart, you aren’t so sure anymore…

Pairing: Single Dad! Yoongi x Reader

Genre: Romance, FLUFF, Smut (18+ only please)''

All I Want for Christmas (ft. Yoongi)- @hayjeon ♾️Ω

''→ singledad, CEO!yoongi x secretary!reader→ 13k words''

ceo!yoongi- @jungshookz ♾️☻☼ ¶

''→ pairing: min yoongi x reader 

→ genre: ceo!au, clumsy!y/n because that’s always nice, jimin is ur best friend, floofy fluff, a touch of nsfw aka office sex

→ wordcount: 21k+ so u should probably read this using ur laptop and not ur phone''

first love | myg- @lavienjin ☻Ω

''synopsis: After an incredibly long day, Yoongi found you crying in the copy room. Though he doesn’t talk much, you’ve always found his presence comforting, and it didn’t surprise you when he stayed and listen to you vent. However, while you sought comfort in his embrace, he proposed a special offer to reduce your stress with the magic of his hands. The only catch to your arrangement? You couldn’t fall in love.

But wouldn’t you know it, just as your friendship deepens into something more, you find an old notebook sitting on his bookshelf, and in it, a collection of poems. The last entry has you reeling because it’s addressed to you. And in that page, a single line is written: Without you, I am nothing

pairing: yoongi x reader

wc: 11.3k

genre/rating/au: 18+ | fwb, coworkers, f2l au | smut, angst

warnings: unprotected sex, fingering, semi public sex, multiple smut scenes, multiple orgasms, oral (m. & f. receiving), masturbation, exhibition, lots of feelings. like a lot of feelings :(''

A Boy Like You | Yoongi- @cinnaminsvga ♾️¶

''→ summary: for whenever you are feeling low, always remember that there is a boy you know who would lift the sky for you.

{or alternatively: Min Yoongi loves you, though he never says it. He’s always been a firm believer in that actions speak louder than any words ever could.}

→ genre: coworker!au, f2l, fluff''

when the stars align- @itskimtaehyung ♾️Ω

''Pairing: Min Yoongi x Reader

Genre: FakeDating!AU with a hint of roommates (well actually more like apartment-mates but roommates is catchier), College!AU, fluff, angst

Word count: 10.5k

Content/Warnings: Mentions of heavy drinking, drug usage, strong language, but also cute things like adopting a dog together

Summary: With cuffing season approaching its end, you thought you had escaped the pressures of finding a boyfriend for the holidays. That is, until your friends set you up on a blind date that goes horribly wrong. This prompts you to enlist the help of your roommate, Yoongi, to fake a relationship so your friends will stop meddling in your love life. And it turns out Yoongi is a lot better at this romance thing than you originally thought…''

p.o.v | myg- @jtrbluv ♾️Ω

''summary: you were eight when you first met your soulmate. then you were eighteen when you realized that the boy who just got hired at the local record store next door, is also your soulmate. the issue at hand: you are the only one that knows.

pairing: yoongi x reader (fem)

genre: fluff, angst, soulmate!au, redstringoffate!au, college!au, high school!au

word count: 17.9k''

Yoongi is a Rock- @yoongsisbae ♾️Ω ¶

''rock!Yoongi x reader :D fluff a bit of angst a lot of silliness

Word Count 1.3k''

android!yoongi- @jungshookz♾️Ω☻☼ ¶

''→ pairing: min yoongi x reader

→ genre: android!au becauSe for some reason android aus are popping up everywhere, the usual heaping serving of fluff and comedy, N S F W like reALLY nsfw i poPPED OFF this time i don’t know even know what happened,,, forgive me god for i have sinned, a n g s t, i definitely teared up a little writing this because i was listening to kim bum soo’s i miss you and it made me 100x more emo

→ trigger warnings: this does get a little intense! beware!! 

→ wordcount: 24k like that bruno mars song''

you’re so concerned about the ending that you don’t even know the plot- @joonsgalaxy ♾️☼

''° yoongi x reader x taehyung

° 1.9 k words ° fluff/humour

🌟 you bring your broken laptop to Tae—the IT specialist—who you have a crush on. you drag your bff Yoongi along with you, who—you’re certain—has a crush on Tae too. what a mess, right? well, the thing is, you never even considered the possibility of your assumptions being totally wrong.''

better place- @cupofteaguk ♾️

''summary: you might be in love with childhood best friend Min Yoongi, and he might be in love with you—and everyone seems to know it. except for the two of you.

pairing: yoongi x fem!reader

genre: hogwarts au, friends to lovers au | fluff

warnings: slow burn, alcohol consumption, truly lowkey an idiots to lovers au word count: 14k''

something to hold on to- @fantasybangtan ♾️Ω ¶

''❦ word count. 17.7k ❦ genre. parent fic, fluff, angst, a bit of boob action ❦ warnings. illness, mention of hospitalisation, mention of minor character death, yoongi is kind of a dick sometimes, accidental(?) flashing ❦ summary. it’s not that you don’t like your job. on the contrary, reading bedtime stories to a certified little princess is something you still can’t believe you get paid to do. it’s just that between all the school runs, snow days and secret second hot chocolates before bed, you may fallen a little too hard for those dimpled cheeks and gummy smiles…. worse still, you’ve fallen for her father too.''

the proposal- @dreamescapeswriting ♾️Ω☻

''WORD COUNT: 35K (No its not missing a decimal point)

PAIRING: CEO!Yoongi x Assistant!Reader

GENRE: Smut, enemies to lovers, CEO x Assistant, fake marriage, angst, movie inspired, slow burn''

basketballcaptain!yoongi- @jungshookz ♾️☻☼ ¶

''→ pairing: min yoongi x reader

→ genre: basketball captain x water girl, cheesy cheesy stuff, the FLUFFIEST fluff, jungoo is an idiot, humour, nSFW = smut, cocky yoongi, spoiler alert yoongi does a body shot off of u it just be like that sometimes

→ wordcount: 18.4k this will definitely make the app crash as per usual don’t come for me''

Hug-o-gram- @cinnaminsvga ♾️☼ ¶

''→ summary: 

“This is probably the dumbest idea you’ve ever had,” Yoongi hisses, but it’s kind of hard for Seokjin to take him seriously when he’s wearing a cardboard sign around his neck that says ‘Huggie Wuggie Machine!’ in bubble font. 

“Like, even worse than when we DIY’d your car into a convertible by sawing the top off?” Seokjin asks, genuinely curious. 

“Worse,” Yoongi admits, trying his best to stay out of your line of sight. His cheeks redden, matching the gaudy pink kitten ears he was forced into wearing.

{or alternatively: Seokjin is a terrible wingman. He also runs a profitable business by sending hugs to people’s crushes for a fee. Mix them together and you have a recipe for Min Yoongi’s worst nightmare.}

→ genre: college!au, hugging booth!au,fluff, humor → warnings: yoongi is so smitten that he’s a walking disaster, so much shy!yoongi to the point where you’ll want to scream, seokjin just tryna get his homie some y/n love coochie bro ;o; → words: 13.3K''

I Wanna Hold Your Hand- @minisugakoobies ♾️

''Pairing: Yoongi x Reader (Gender Neutral)

Genre: friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, fluff, Roommates!AU

Rating: T

Warnings: pining, a lil’ smooching, Yoongi is very persuasive, reader is easily duped, it’s as fluffy as freshly fallen snow

Word Count: 1.4K

Disclaimers: None, other than obviously I don’t own BTS - they simply inspire me

Summary: It’s hand-holding season, according to your roommate.''

subtle- @joonary ♾️Ω

''↳ summary: just another memory added to the long list of drunk memories that you’ll forget but wish you’d remember, while yoongi will remember but wish he could forget. 

↳ genre: fluff; light angst; friends (?) to lovers (?); min yoongi x reader

↳ rating: pg-13

↳ warnings: swearing, alcohol consumption, and yoongi’s soft spots being exposed to the light of day. yknow, just another joonary fic.

↳ word count: 3.5k''

Hobi's Girl- @jjungkookislife Ω☻

''↬ pairing: f. reader x Hoseok, f. reader x Yoongi

↬ genre: smut [18+], angst

↬ summary: Yoongi had a wonderful night with you… but you’re Hobi’s girl.

↬ wc: 4.8k''

The King Isn’t Dead- @another-army-spot ♾️Ω☻

''Pairing: Yoongi x oc (fem)

Rating:  M

Word: 19.7k~ (my finger slipped?)

Genre:  historical fic, smut, romance, fluff, angst, political upheaval shit

Summary:  After the invasion and the King’s miraculous survival, the nation aims to secure stability and his position of power through the prospect of marriage and continuing the Min line.  As a promise to your brother on the battlefield, the King promises to consider you as his potential wife - to love and to protect.  Or maybe it’ll be the other way around?''

the landlord- @ppersonna ☻

''↳ summary- your air conditioner breaks right at the height of a recordbreaking heat wave.  good thing your hot landlord, yoongi, knows how to attend to any needs you may have.

↳ rating- explicit / 18+

↳ word count- 4.3k

↳ pairing- yoongi x reader

↳ genre- smut, light crack, PWP''

CYBERSEX- @gimmethatagustd ♾️☻☼

''The whole point of being a phone sex hotline operator is that you’ll never have to meet your clients. So what are you supposed to do when you find out your favorite client is your brother’s best friend? 

» pairing: yoongi x fem!reader 

» wc/date: 14.6k | July 2022

» genre: BTS | 18+ | brother’s best friend | smut | fluff | humor

» warnings: alcohol | blowjob | car sex | creampie | dirty talk | fingering | masturbation | pet names | phone sex | pussy slapping | sex work | unprotected vaginal sex''

Jung Hoseok

hot rod- @kinktae ♾️☻

''a 1950′s inspired fic where greaser Hoseok can’t keep his eyes, or hands, off the new waitress at his and his boys’ favorite diner.

pairing: greaser!hoseok x reader

word count: 10k

genre: 1950s au, smut, fluff''

Kim Namjoon

The Bodyguard- @rmnamjoons ♾️☻Ω

''➳ summary: You’re the daughter of the ambassador to a small, peaceful, barely-on-the-map country in Western Europe, working as a diplomat to help your mother with her endless meetings and politics. After a kidnapping attempt gone wrong, you and your protective bodyguard Namjoon are on the run across Europe, jumping from trains, stealing cars, and pretending to be a couple on your honeymoon to stay hidden. As the would-be kidnappers close in, Namjoon promises you that he’s going to keep you safe, no matter the cost.

➳ pairing: bodyguard!Namjoon x reader

➳ genre: bodyguard au, romance, smut, fake dating/fake marriage, road trip (kinda), very slight angst

➳ word count: 62.9k – this is a complete, VERY long oneshot''

Show Me How- @imaginationofacrazyfangirl ☻ ¶

''Summary:You swiped right on a nerd, instead you got a Greek God. Or tired of your virginity, you decide to throw caution to the wind and find a hook up on tinder.

— PAIRING: Namjoon x f!reader

— GENRE: smut. 18+ minors dni.''

I'll continue in a pt.2

(tumblr doesn't let me write more lmao)

Little do You Know | OT7 | Seventy Four

Pair: Bangtan (ot7) x f!reader 

Summary: In a world where idols and actors can’t date, whether it be because of contracts, lack of time, or the dangers that involve having your personal life leaked, the market opened up for a new work field. Playmate Agencies emerged to supply the entertainment world with highly trained companions for hire. Bangtan is looking for new playmates. And you just happen to be the one all of them choose. 

Genre: Fluff, angst, smut, playmate au, idol au. 

Chapter warnings: Unedited. Smut. Hello, you beautiful people! I’m not back yet, I don’t know when I’ll feel like being properly active here again. But I will try to get back to a posting schedule because I know many of you miss ldyk and the chapters are written anyway. I would also like to thank every single one of you that reached  out and left a comment of support, kind words and love. I had no idea my stories touched so many of you and I was even more surprised by the fact that so many of you care about me, and my mental health. And it’s for you guys that I want to try and post chapters. Even if slower than before. We’ll see. I hope you enjoy this one! 

PS: If you asked to be in the taglist, but you weren’t tagged for this chapter, please leave a comment or send in an ask so I can add you, as I probably missed a lot of those during this hiatus. 

WC: 6k

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With only three more days before the release of PROOF, marking their official comeback after two years –and the last one for a little while–, all seven members were going a little crazy. They knew everything that was planned, all of the little surprises for ARMY, knew it would be some time before they would feel this excitement again; since they had chosen to focus more on their solo careers after this. 

And while some of the hyungs liked to hang out with friends, go out to have drinks, or even just stay locked up inside their homes, Jungkook liked to go away. For the past few years now, he wasn’t really able to just pack up and leave, since pre-comeback schedules were usually the most hectic time for them. 

Not this time around. 

Keep reading

until death

— summary: until death do you part, you are theirs and they are yours

— pairing: bts x reader

— genre: fluff, slight angst, demon!au

— word count: 4.4k

— warnings: none

— commission for @daisyjoons

“What’s that in your hand?”

“H-Huh?” 

“The flower,” Seokjin beckons at the rose he has in his hand, his tall figure and deadpanned eyes staring down at the man, it almost leaves him wanting to pee his pants right on the spot. “It’s not for the baker, now is it?”

Six more pairs of eyes stare directly down at him and yet he still has the audacity to say; “Yes, it’s..it’s for miss Y/N.”

“Ah.”

Suddenly the air in the little shop shifts and a sharp, cold breeze rushes through the room despite the fact that today should have been nothing but a pleasant breeze. Little ashes of smoke begin to appear from the thin air of the floors of the shop, sauntering around as customers sitting in their designated seats pick their feet up out of fear, their whispers of panic raising, and the man at the center of the demons’ wrath feels sharp ice crawling all over his body.

“It seems you want trouble,” Jungkook says as he takes a step forward, causing the man to step back, and so Jungkook keeps following along until he backs himself against the counter, trembling in sight while the rest of the people hold their breaths, too frightful to make a move in fear of being on the receiving end of the demons’ wrath.

“I-I don’t want trouble,” the poor man stutters.

Taehyung clicks his tongue in irritation while Jimin scoffs.

“Clearly you do,” Namjoon says. “You uttered her name. In the demon world, no one is allowed to utter someone’s name so carelessly. Only if they mean something to you and if the person has allowed you to utter their name.”

“I-I’m sorry sir, I-I didn’t know.”

“And giving roses,” Yoongi plucks the flower right out of his fingertips, “means an eternal love you are willing to spend the rest of your life with.” He burns the petty little thing right before the man’s eyes, all the while keeping his glare pointed right at him, causing the guy to visibly shallow a hard lump.

“Do you understand where you’re wrong?” Hoseok threatens, an arm propped up against Yoongi’s shoulder, hovering.

“I-I-” He looks like he’s about to piss his pants.

“Do you, understand?” So Hoseok reiterates, deeper, darker, graver. “Yes or no?”

“I..y-yes, yes—”

“What are you doing?”

A voice.

A sweet, sweet voice more precious and sweeter than the nectar the butterflies flock themselves onto, than any blood that can satisfy a vampire, than the sun that gives humans light and nutrients. A voice they love more than anything in this world.

Except the woman herself whom it belongs to.

They turn in an instant, ears perking up, head snapped, to find you standing before the door that leads to the backrooms, holding onto a tray of desserts they know you’ve made just for them, and their faces immediately soften.

The room brightens up, the shadows beginning to melt away into thin air in the same way they appeared, and Jimin is just about to rush up to you if it weren’t for your eyes suddenly shifting from them.

Your attention isn’t on them.

“You’re scaring the poor man!” You quickly say as you put your tray down onto the counter, rushing to untie the apron strings from behind, rushing in between them and the gentleman, an arm extending as you force Jungkook to back off. “Not just him but my customers!” You turn to address the guy. “Are you alright sir? I apologize for everything.”

He takes one glance behind you and instantly freezes up once more, quick to shake his head vehemently at the dark eyes staring straight into his soul — unbeknownst to you.

“I-I’m okay! I’m okay!” He blurts out before simply scurrying out the door before you can get another word in.

You stare at the scene, blinking at his sudden rush, before turning around to place your hands upon your hips, all the while the boys are quick to change up their expressions, acting as if they’ve been innocent all along.

“You just lost me a customer. Would you like to explain why you were interrogating the poor dude?” You start, brows furrowed, shoulders tense, chin slightly protruding and they know you’re trying to be all high and mighty but in their eyes, you just look like an upset bunny trying to fight seven wolves. “You really need to keep yourselves in check and stop summoning your shadows to show up out of nowhere, you know that scares people. How are my customers supposed to eat and drink and have a calm peaceful day if you just show up out of nowhere and deliberately make a scene?”

“M-miss Y/N, we’re fine but please—” An older woman tries to appease you, her approach timid as she holds her hands up, trying to calm you down in fear of the men in the room who’re the reason for your anger. “You don’t have to stand up for our sake.”

“We’re fine, you don’t have to do this.”

“I’d really love it if I didn’t have to witness our favorite baker in town—”

“What are you talking about, ma’am, they need a proper scolding,” you say otherwise, clearly unaware of the public’s concern for your life, being as you’re literally standing up against seven tall, masculine men who can literally bend the Earth and destroy this town with a flick of their wrist.

“Miss Y/N, please—”

“It’s alright, just go back to your coffee. I assure you I can handle this.”

“No please—”

You ignore their pleas to turn back around, that business smile fading the second you meet their eyes and they frown, hating the way you sounded kind to your customers and yet don’t bother to send them a smile.

“So then, what do you have to say for yourselves?”

“It’s not even that big of a—”

“Excuse me?” You cross your arms before your chest, looking up at them with a serious expression and they know they can’t not listen to whatever you say.

Only you can ever make them bend a knee.

“Sorry,” Jimin grumbles under his breath but you pretend you didn’t hear it.

“What was that?”

He sighs and steps forward, snaking an arm around your waist and pulling you in close, much to the audience’s dismay, and pepper kisses upon your cheeks. “You heard me darling, I said I was sorry.”

“Sorry. We’re sorry,” Jungkook joins in, a hand on your head as he presses a kiss to your temple.

You feel your heart lighting up, a smile waiting to creep up but you know not to give in just yet. “And to my customers?”

Namjoon crosses a hand over to his heart, giving the people a light bow. “We apologize for the inconvenience, dear customers of Y/N’s,” he says, and while they simply look back with mouths agape and widened pupils, frozen in their spots, he turns his head back your way, a cheeky little grin spread across his face as if asking for a compliment for doing the thing that you asked him to do.

You bite back a grin, seeing how obedient they are when it comes to you, but you know that if you let them see even the smallest bit of that, they'll disregard the people around them and simply coddle you to their heart’s content.

So you take Jimin’s hand and lead him into the backrooms, knowing the rest are quick to follow along, all the while leaving your customers blinking and rubbing their eyes, wondering if what they had just seen was right or if it had been simply a figment of their imaginations.

After all, everyone knows demons would never yield to a human that easily, much less care for them in the way they just treated you.

“Someone looks stressed.”

Once you’re finally left alone with your demons without any eyes kept on you, you let your guard down, smiling ruefully as you take a good look at the seven of them. Demons don’t live on sleep in the way humans need it, they get their energy elsewhere, but sometimes there are days you feel as if perhaps taking a nap will help them.

They look so tired.

“But that still doesn’t mean you can come around here and demand things out of my customers.”

Yoongi grunts, rolling his eyes at your words like a child hating to be scolded. “I get it, I get it,” he repeats exasperatedly when he walks over to place his head against your chest, letting you run your fingers through your hair to coddle him.

“But he was trying to give you roses,” Taehyung says as he clicks his tongue with irritation, that glare he has on is always enough to kill someone if he could, and for a good while you were scared of it yourself, but luckily you’ve gotten used to it. Taehyung would never hurt you after all.

And you know exactly what roses mean in the demon language. It was what they gave you when they confessed their undying love to you after all, a day you will never forget, a day they swept you off your feet and the very day you became forever theirs. You can never forget what those roses mean to them because to demons who’re almost incapable of feeling, much less love another, if a rose is given by them unto another, it is something one must never doubt.

“You do understand that roses aren’t as significant as they are to us humans, don’t you?” You remind them, a light chuckle leaving your lips when Taehyung drops his head onto your shoulder, asking for the same attention you’re giving to Yoongi. “I mean they mean a lot to me because they mean a lot to you but to humans in general, roses are just another sign of love.”

“Exactly, love. That’s a universal language and he was trying to steal you away from us.” You feel Hoseok’s arms slide around your waist from behind, lips pressing onto the nape of your neck.

“He didn’t know,” you try to excuse the action of the poor man who you didn’t even know was trying to confess to you just a few minutes prior.

But they’re having none of that.

“Who goes around professing their love to someone they don’t even know that well? Did he really believe a pretty girl like you would remain loveless by men all around her?”

You laugh awkwardly at Seokjin’s words. “What’re you trying to say by that?”

“He should know his place,” he says as he takes your chin from under his fingertips, bringing you forth to his face, “and that you, who is beloved by many, wouldn’t have already stolen the hearts of others around her. You attract after all, and just like those pretty little sweets you make every day before the town can even wake up, a simple glance at you can cause quite the addiction.”

“I..” You avert your eyes, cheeks heating because you know exactly what he’s trying to imply. “I don’t think I..”

“You don’t?” The eldest raises a brow as if daring you to further challenge his belief.

“W-well…” You stumble on your words before clearing your throat. “Sometimes too many sweets can be bad for you.”

“Well, luckily I have a sweet tooth.” A small little smirk curl along the corner of his lip, a low chuckle leaving him just as he leans in to capture your lips, leaving your heart to skip a thousand beats faster than its initial pounding.

He doesn’t kiss you for too long but even then, once he leaves you, you’re a blushing mess.

“Heart’s pounding rather fast,” Yoongi states, and you’re stumbling over your words once again.

“I..I-I wasn’t…”

“How long has it been? You’re still swooning over such a small thing?” Jungkook teases.

“It’s alright, I quite like it actually,” Seokjin says, his hand reaching up to tuck it behind your ear. “It’s quite refreshing seeing what we do still makes her react like this. You love us that much, huh darling?”

“If you’re here just to tease me, please just return to whatever it was you were doing before coming here.”

“Hey, don’t act like you don’t like it,” Namjoon pulls you back in when you try to run away to hide your embarrassment. They hold you in close, grips so steady you know there’s really no chance you’ll ever be able to escape.

Not that you want to.

And seeing those looks on their faces, you know they know that fact more than anyone else.

After all, these days can sometimes be rare; the days when they show up before you unexpectedly, most times without ever telling you beforehand. These days are the days you cherish the most, when you can be in their arms just like this, without ever feeling as if they would ever let you go.

Not until it’s time for them to leave. Not until they have to leave.

And it’s in those moments when they do have to leave do you feel the most lonely. When you have to stay behind, taking a moment to gather yourself, remember their holds and kisses, before returning to your baking with a customer smile on your face so no one knows just how lonely you are when your demons leave, knowing you can do nothing but wait until their next visit.

There are times when waiting takes days, weeks, and sometimes even a whole month and you’re always left wondering just where they are and where they’ve gone and what they’re doing.

But you know you’d never tell them just how lonely you really are when they’re gone.

After all, the times they visit are for the times of loving and holding one another. It isn’t a time to dwell on things that don’t matter, it isn’t a time to cry and wish and to hope. It’s a time to cherish what’s before you before they have to leave.

Only when they’re gone can you actually dwell on your loneliness.

“If something ever goes wrong or if you simply need us, you can call us anytime.”

You stare at the little bell shaped into a red rose one lonely night while standing under the stars in the middle of your garden.

It’s the garden of red roses they created for you, a garden that can never wilt no matter the seasons, time, or period. It dies only when the owner who received these flowers dies.

It will wilt only once you’ve wilted.

“Just how long will you continue to live, little ones?” You hold a hand out to feel the soft petals of the roses upon your fingertips, smiling at how pretty they are. Not even one petal is torn or hurt. They all look alive and well, alive and flourishing.

Jungkook says they reflect their owners’ age as you know that one day in the far future, these flowers will probably begin to look dainty and frail as well, and yet you don’t wish to ever see these flowers growing old with you.

Growing old means nearing death.

Growing old means wilting.

And then what will happen to the ones you’ll be leaving behind? The lifespan of a human does not last forever after all, and the more you think about it, the more you come to understand that they’ve got all the time in the world, hence they don’t ever look sad or griefed whenever they come to visit days or weeks or months later.

It is because to demons, the passing of time is simply but a second walking by.

Yet to you, every ticking second means a second closer to wilting away.

You let out a sigh, turning from the flowers to take a step forward towards your house when a harsh wind passes by, causing your shawl to fly off, and in an attempt to grab for it, you’ve forgotten about the bell you had in your hand, causing the little flower shape to fall from your hand and jingle as it hits the ground.

You gasp as you freeze in place because in just mere seconds, you know you aren’t alone anymore.

Seven presence right behind you.

Who would have thought it’d work this fast?

You quickly pick your bell up, eyes scanning forward at the shawl that flew off onto a rose bush, and rush forward to take it back because of how cold the night air has gotten.

“Well someone most certainly called us here on purpose, didn’t she?”

You turn back at Yoongi’s sarcastic comment once you’ve gotten your shawl to wrap it back onto yourself.

“Sorry! It was the wind,” you quickly say as you rush back to their side. “The bell was in my hand and when my shawl flew away, I forgot about it so when I went to reach for my shawl, the bell fell out and now here you are, summoned by the jingle.”

“So you’re not in immortal danger?”

At Seokjin’s question, you take a look around, wanting to laugh a bit at the situation. “Uh nope! Looks like I’m perfectly fine.”

“So you’ll only call us if you’re in immortal danger? How disappointing.” Jungkook lets out a heavy sigh, his lips pouting.

“What? You want me to call you if I miss you or something?”

“Yeah, why not?”

“Ha ha, very funny.” You place the bell securely into your pocket then tighten the shawl around your body. “Anyways, it’s pretty cold out here. You should get back to what you were doing. As you can see, I’m not hurt nor am I in any danger. In the meantime, I think it’s time for me to head to bed.”

You begin to walk off to your door again when Namjoon stops you.

“What were you doing out here?” He asks and you stop in your tracks, shrugging.

“Just thinking.”

“Thinking?”

“About immortality and stuff.”

“Immortality?” Jimin steps up to drape an arm around your shoulder in order to turn you back around to where they’re standing, at the same time helping you to keep warm against the night breeze. “What’s got you thinking about immortality, darling? Are you finally thinking about how to become one?”

“You know I like my human life.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he rolls his eyes. “Something about growing old is part of what makes human life so beautiful or whatever.”

“I don’t understand why death is beautiful to you,” Taehyung says.

“Well on the other hand, don’t you think immortality is somewhat of a curse?” You ask and they look upon themselves as if they’ve never given that idea a chance before.

“Why would it be a curse?”

“Well…” Your words trail off slowly and yet they wait for your explanation, eyes steady on you, ears open to whatever you have to say, and you play along with your fingers, nails digging into the skin a bit. “When I die…you’ll still have thousands of years left to live.” You avoid their eyes, staring down at the ground. “...Won’t you miss me?”

They grow silent.

Everything grows silent and you hear nothing but the little breeze that passes by ever so often, as well as the cicadas out in the night, singing their sweet songs, a melody mirroring the birds in the early morning.

“So you’re saying,” Hoseok begins, “that you’ll die before us.”

“It’s inevitable,” you say, looking up again. “Forty years may not mean a lot to you but forty years into the future means me getting old and gray and my health deteriorating. Humans are living and dying at the same time. I get closer to death with each passing day.”

“Don’t say that.”

“You know it’s true.” You watch as Jungkook turns to look at the flowers in the garden, his hand reaching out to touch one of them. “I’d never want to die and let you live through years of heartache. I’d never want to leave you behind in this world and no matter how happy we will be, death is something that is inevitable to come for me, you know that. Though I wouldn’t ever want you to follow along either. I don’t want to die together.”

“So you love your human life but you don’t want to die and leave us behind, but you also don’t want us to choose our own death in following you right behind, and you don’t wish to become an immortal.” Namjoon takes a step forward into your proximity, their expressions more grave than any other times you’ve ever seen them — except in those moments when you’re in immortal danger right before them. It frightens you a bit wondering what’s going on inside their heads, but what frightens you most is the inevitable future threatening to tear you apart.

“What is it that you want, Y/N?” Namjoon asks and you take a moment to think.

What is it that you want?

Why’re you thinking about immortality and death? Why was the wind listening to you when you were left to yourself in this garden? Why did it hear your silent plea in wishing to see them and therefore taking your fate into their hands and causing you to accidentally call for your demons?

Why does any of this even matter?

“I don’t know…” You look down at your feet, fingers unable to keep still, the vision before you blurring. “I-I don’t know,” you admit truthfully and when you look up again, their eyes widen at the sight of tears brimming along your waterline, waiting to fall down any second now. “I don’t want to live forever but I don’t…I don’t want to ever leave you behind and…and…I don’t know what I want. All I know is that…is that even though I enjoy this human life, I hate how different we are. I hate how different we think because to you, a day passing by means nothing. A week, a month, maybe even a year. A year without me is nothing to you. You can let time go by and it wouldn’t mean a thing because you get to live forever but to me…to me….I..”

You swallow the lump that wishes to cut your voice off, forcing the words out. “I hate waiting. I hate not knowing when it is you’ll be visiting again. I hate each day that passes, I hate it when you leave me, I hate being lonely and empty, I hate it when I have to wait. I hate it. I hate all of it.”

“Why didn’t you tell us?”

“I don’t know,” you cry, ignoring the tears that slip by when they close in on you. A few hiccups threaten to leave your voice behind but you continue talking through it all. “It’s just…I-I didn’t bring it up because I know you get busy and even if you aren’t so busy, I…I thought that, well, if the passing of time doesn’t affect you, why should it affect me?”

“You should have spoken up, my love.”

“You know if you asked for the world, we’d give it to you in a heartbeat, right? Why would you think we wouldn’t stop anything and everything if you just asked to be with us?”

“I don’t know,” you cry again, letting the last syllable drag out as more tears fall from your eyes and they’re quick to panic, realizing their reassuring words probably sounded more like them scolding you.

“It’s alright, it’s alright. You don’t have to cry anymore.”

“We know. We know now so it’ll be alright.”

“I’ll tell you what, become one of us.”

Your cry falls silent as only sniffles and small hiccups leave your lips when you hear those words. You blink up at Taehyung, slightly confused. “..What?”

“You heard him, become one of us.”

“I told you I don’t want to live forever.”

“You don’t have to live forever, darling.”

“I..I don’t?”

Yoongi shakes his head. “We can live together for as long as we want and when you get tired of life, when you get tired of immortality, just say the word and we’ll make it happen in a heartbeat.”

“...Really?”

“Of course.” Namjoon presses a kiss to your forehead just as you feel Taehyung’s hands wiping your tears away and Seokjin handing you a tissue he created from thin air. “Hoseok said, didn’t he? You could ask us for the world and we’d give it to you without question.”

“We’d burn the world if it means making you happy.”

“But what if I just want you and not the whole world?”

Soft smiles appear upon their faces, softening their features, whispering sincere affirmations of love.

“Oh darling, you already have us.”

“And you’ll have us even after death takes us all away.”

“But…I thought…” with the last remaining tears wiped away, you take a small little glance towards the rose bushes, eyes scattering off with confusion, “doesn’t immortality mean…forever? How would I..-How would we just…leave this world?”

“There is always an answer to everything,” you feel warmth seeping through the palm of Yoongi’s hand when he caresses your face, “and just like the stars that burn bright in the night, lasting for eons on end, they too have their beginning and ending and one day they will burn away as well.”

“Then, technically..you aren’t cursed with immortality?”

“Well technically, yes, but in theory, going against the ways of life means going against the laws of the world, which also means throwing things off balance, so it also means receiving death sentences for throwing off said balance.”

You take a moment to blink, trying to comprehend what Jungkook just said, before simply letting out an “Oh.”

They chuckle at your silence and you feel Jimin ruffle your hair. “Though of course we’d never let anyone touch you, not even the world. There are other ways to leave an immortal life but it’ll happen when we get there so don’t worry your little head off about how everything works.”

“You just have to trust us,” Seokjin agrees.

“You’ll trust us, won’t you?” Hoseok asks.

You take his hands in yours, eyes determined without a glint of hesitation. “I trust you with my life and until death do us part, it is yours to keep.”

Taehyung chuckles at the sentiment before repeating the vow you’ve just spoken. “Until death do us part.”

Little do You Know | OT7 | Seventy Five

Pair: Bangtan (ot7) x f!reader 

Summary: In a world where idols and actors can’t date, whether it be because of contracts, lack of time, or the dangers that involve having your personal life leaked, the market opened up for a new work field. Playmate Agencies emerged to supply the entertainment world with highly trained companions for hire. Bangtan is looking for new playmates. And you just happen to be the one all of them choose. 

Genre: Fluff, angst, smut, playmate au, idol au. 

Chapter warnings: Little angst, so much fluff, little heat. 

WC: 3.5k

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The weather in Seoul was really nice that Friday morning.

The sun was kissing your skin as Jimin dropped you off in front of the small coffee shop in Myeongdong, where you were supposed to meet with the two girls from your class. It didn’t really help that you had never seen them before, and your university app didn’t show anyone’s pictures. So you had no idea who to look for, you just knew their names. 

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Little do You Know | OT7 | Seventy Six

Pair: Bangtan (ot7) x f!reader 

Summary: In a world where idols and actors can’t date, whether it be because of contracts, lack of time, or the dangers that involve having your personal life leaked, the market opened up for a new work field. Playmate Agencies emerged to supply the entertainment world with highly trained companions for hire. Bangtan is looking for new playmates. And you just happen to be the one all of them choose. 

Genre: Fluff, angst, smut, playmate au, idol au. 

Chapter warnings: This is really cute, I love this chapter so much. Yn has a nice encounter with ARMY for a change <3 

WC: 4k

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You were very proud of yourself for not freaking out. 

On the day of the pre-recording of the performances for the music show Inkigayo, you and Hoseok were one of the first ones to arrive. Of course all of the other members were right behind you, in separate cars for comfort and safety reasons, but it was still you and Hobi facing the huge wall of reporters and photographers first. You’ve faced their angry camera flashes at the airport a few times, but nothing compared to this.

Today marked BTS’ return to shows like these, it celebrated the success of their newest album, and it was the first –official– red carpet style entrance where you were with them; as yourself, not as a playmate. 

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Little do You Know | OT7 | Seventy Seven

Pair: Bangtan (ot7) x f!reader 

Summary: In a world where idols and actors can’t date, whether it be because of contracts, lack of time, or the dangers that involve having your personal life leaked, the market opened up for a new work field. Playmate Agencies emerged to supply the entertainment world with highly trained companions for hire. Bangtan is looking for new playmates. And you just happen to be the one all of them choose. 

Genre: Fluff, angst, smut, playmate au, idol au. 

Chapter warnings: Okay, this one is a lot… There’s a goodbye, a lap dance, a new trick, smut and… You guessed it!! Things were going to smooth, I think it’s time for good old ANGST. 

A/N: I see all of your reblogs and comments and they make my absolute day! I love to know you guys really love this story as much as I do, and they make me want to get better and get out of this slump. For you guys, and because of you guys, I’ll do it. 💜

WC: 6k

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You weren’t going to cry. You had no reason to cry. 

But your eyes were already brimming with tears when you walked to the booth of your car so Namjoon and his friends could take their luggages out. You had parked in the underground garage of Incheon Airport, which was hidden and away from prying eyes. The media wasn’t supposed to know Namjoon was going out of the country, but just to be safe you still paid for the fee to be allowed into the lot. 

“Thank you for driving us, Yn.” Yong thanked you with a high five after picking his suitcase. 

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What if... the CEOs were hybrids? | BTS OT7 au

Part 1 of my multiverse au mini series. Massive thank you to @oknymz / @shadowofahope for keeping me alive and sane and editing bits for me, otherwise I would have run away from this completely. And to everyone who kept cheering me on.

Warnings: 9k words, possessiveness, testosterone, jealousy, suggestive shit, sexual tension, general horniness, mentions of scenting + marking + breeding (the usual hybrid trope stuff). Blood (only a few drops).

Next

playlist: Honey - Halsey

Hybrids: KNJ - Wolf, KSJ - Bear, MYG - Panther, JHS - Lion, PJM - Arctic fox, KTH - Tiger, JJK - Bunny.

You were late… not actually late, not by the company’s standards, but by your own. The bunny hybrid watches the clock tick closer to the scheduled meeting time, bodies pouring into the room with their own scents, but he couldn’t smell you. You normally attend meetings half an hour early to set up, Jin had noticed the habit and the maknae was hoping to catch a glimpse of you before everyone attended, but when he entered, expecting to see you, you were nowhere to be found.

He nibbled on his bottom lip in worry, where were you? The moment he decided to text the others, and yourself, he finally sees your figure rush in through the door. Relief fills him, albeit only momentarily.

Jungkook inhales and freezes for a moment. If you paid any attention you’d see his doe eyes dilate, his leg thumping underneath the desk.

Why did you smell like that? He grips the armrests to the chair with his nails almost tearing the metal to shreds like he were a wolf hybrid not a bunny. Someone obviously had their hands all over you last night. Why else would you smell so good? The state of you now, slightly dishevelled and tired, small dark circles under your eyes, he bet you didn’t even have time to shower, the smell is so pungent he can barely think of anything else.

Jealousy burns into anger at the thought of another with you, doing things only he and the other CEOs should be doing. He sniffs the air again, trying to see if he can detect who the culprit is behind your rendezvous, and pauses. He can’t smell anyone else… so why… did you smell… so… wait. Did you…

You… by yourself…

The lights in the meeting room dim for the presentation just as his cheeks turn bright red, his brain short circuiting. The thought of you alone, pleasuring yourself was too much for his brain to comprehend.

Mount her, his baser instincts cloud his mind, he grips onto the table in front of him so hard he can hear it breaking. Nip her cute little butt into position and mount her.

He chews his lip like a lifeline, watching you write down your notes in the dark. His head snaps to a random direction when you turn towards him, having felt the pressure of his stare.

You frown, was something bothering him today? You finally noticed the thumping under the table from where you were sat, the other employees ignoring the sound as the speaker continued the presentation. You were so distracted by the ache in between your legs and your state of burn out you didn’t even greet him this morning. Maybe that was partially on purpose… you don’t think you could control yourself from ogling and drooling if met alone with the youngest CEO’s handsome face this early in the morning, even now your legs rubbed together to try to stifle the dull throb that settled in as your thoughts ran rampant.

You hadn’t slept well last night and you tried everything, and you mean everything. By Sod’s law you finally caught some sleep around half four in the morning only to sleep through your alarm. Great start to the day… you needed coffee, and lots of it.

Yoongi always had access to coffee, maybe you could bribe him into getting you some, it was no secret the CEOs had a soft spot for you, their favourite human and employee. Even the stoic panther gave into you when you wanted something. You’re sure after a session of your playful banter he would be more than willing to give in. He always gave in in the end…

You don’t know why your thoughts are turning you on, or maybe it was the face of the hybrid CEOs and their sultry smirks filling your brain that has you dripping in arousal. You try not to show anything on your face as your thoughts become more debaucherous, shifting uncomfortably in your seat, unable to stop them from heading that way.

You notice the bunny hybrid sniffing the air audibly, frowning as he closed his eyes as if in pain… maybe his rhinitis was playing up.

—

​​You walk into their office with a mountain of paperwork in your hands, unaware of the way 5 of the CEOs inhabiting the room freeze. What was that smell? Ears on end and attention completely drawn to you, they find themselves needing to gulp for air but every breath is contaminated with you.

Taehyung is the first to make a move, one thought in his mind as you put the files down on Jungkook’s desk. You startle for a moment when you feel his nose brush against your neck as he sniffs.

“Taehyung,” Namjoon says wearily in warning, knuckles turning white from the grip he has on his desk. The others only gawp, unable to move or breathe if they wanted to.

The tiger presses himself against your back as softly as he could, groaning as the need to have you in his hands overwhelms him. His hands reach for the wood of the desk in front of you, effectively trapping you in his little cage.

“Do I smell bad?” You lightly chuckle but with worry. You didn’t have time to shower this morning, did you stink?

“Like golden honey beautiful girl,” Jin grins cheekily from his seat, the bear hybrid laughing to himself at his inside joke.

“Oh…. Tae, do you not like honey?”

The tiger only hums against your neck, a pleasant shiver running through your skin as he subtly scents you, rubbing his head against you as unassumingly as possible.

“Taehyung,” Namjoon doesn’t shout but his voice is firmer than before, making you jump a little.

The growl that vibrated against you screamed territorial aggression, the room stills for a second, the lump in your throat as you swallow is the only sound heard to their sensitive ears.

You try not to think about how much you hated that he backed away, you try not to let it show on your face as you pick up the files from the surrounding desks, unaware of the tiger’s eyes on you, of all their eyes on you. You felt empty without his embrace, a sudden cold penetrated through your clothes without his heat.

Jimin flashes you a smile that doesn’t reach the hungry look in his eyes as he hands you the file himself, fingers brushing against your own as you take them. He can feel your pulse resonate through your skin.

To his surprise you lean in closer, were you trying to test his patience? He was already trying to hold his breath, your scent already starting to dim the human side of him, and unleash the beast.

“Is Jungkook feeling okay today?” You whisper to him even though you know logically they can all hear you, being hybrids and all. “He seemed a bit anxious at the meeting this morning.”

The arctic fox hybrid smirks, so Jungkook was struck with your delicious scent first, poor bunny. He almost laughs aloud.

You don’t wait for his answer when you hear someone walk through the door, all of you turning to the sound. The panther hybrid stops in his steps when he breathes in, eyes snapping to you as they dilate. You watch his tail swish behind him more enthusiastically than you’d seen before, his piercing gaze making you feel more and more like prey, heart rate accelerating as your instincts remember who in the room was a predator. Didn’t you want something from him earlier? Your brain was drawing blanks.

“Umm so I should get back to work,” breathing suddenly becomes harder as you swallow down your sudden nerves, hastily walking out of the office as the eyes of 6 hybrids never leave you.

“Why does she smell so good?” Yoongi asks bluntly when you’re out of ear shot.

Taehyung groaned at the reminder, you were so close to him, if someone hadn’t gotten in the way... He glared at the lead CEO who purposefully ignored him.

“No idea,” Jin shrugged with a grin, “but I am not complaining.”

“I am!” Taehyung exclaimed in aggravation. “Anyone can smell that, do you know how many hybrids work on this floor alone?”

“Hyung, why did you let her leave?” Jimin’s eyes narrowed at the panther in distaste, the words of his best friend making him realise he was right. “She was safe here.”

“Safe?” Hoseok scoffed with a mocking look. “The tiger was going to bite her if she stayed.”

“What’s wrong with that?” Taehyung snarls, his own glare mirroring Jimin’s but with the lion on the receiving end.

Namjoon tapped his foot impatiently, waiting for the discussion to settle otherwise he was going to have to bring it to an end. He sucked in his cheeks in annoyance, jaw set in anger as they continued to argue. He’s a second away from speaking when the door opens once more, silencing the argument as they turn to it again, hoping it was you.

The youngest of the CEOs finally joins them, walking into the room in a daze, eyes blank, unseeing towards the others as he sits in his chair.

“All good Jungkookie?” Hoseok snickers knowingly as the maknae nibbles on his bottom lip, drowning in his not so innocent thoughts.

“How did your meeting go?” Jin chuckles.

But all Jungkook could think about was how fucking good you smelled.

“How long was the meeting?” Yoongi asks with a smirk.

“He was in there for two hours,” Jimin laughs teasingly.

“Wow, I could barely sit here for two minutes,” Hoseok was impressed. “Taehyung didn’t even last a second.”

“Well done Jungkook,” Jimin commends, nodding in pure appreciation.

“It was torture,” the bunny finally breathes before groaning into his hands as he covered his face. “And she was just sitting there oblivious.”

His doe eyes peered out to look at his Hyungs in disbelief, how did you not know? You knew hybrids had a heightened sense of smell, did it just bypass your brain that they could smell the things you did? How sleep deprived were you to forget something like that?

“I just wanted to…” the thoughts of what he wanted to do in that board room was filling his mind again, he didn’t care if they all watched, let them all watch, he would make them. His eyes go blank again as he loses himself to his fantasies.

“Could you imagine… if she just stayed here with us…” Hoseok stifled a moan as he rubbed his eyes with his palms, as if that would scrub out the pictures his words induced.

“Wash your dirty thoughts out of your head before we get a harassment complaint,” Namjoon finally speaks, mumbling as he completed the paperwork in front of him sloppily, his own mind occupied in hypocrisy. Images of you on all fours for him flashed in his head without permission as much as he tried to will it away. How good you would look presenting to him, begging for him. Full of his cum and pups…

“Easier said than done,” Taehyung mumbles, still able to taste your scent on his tongue. How he didn’t lick your skin when his head was buried in your neck he’ll never know, self restraint wasn’t his forte.

“We still don’t know why she smelled like that,” Hoseok reminds them all, thinking to himself.

“You don’t think she was on a date or something do you?” Jimin asks aghast.

“I couldn’t smell anyone else,” Taehyung replies, he wouldn’t have liked it if he did, the smell would be tainted, nauseating.

“She did it to herself,” Jungkook informs them despondently, filling in the blanks.

The air thickens around them as new images enter their heads.

“Well fuck…” Yoongi breathes. His poor enticing little Kitten didn’t have anyone to play with, maybe they’d have to fix that, before anyone else had the same idea.

—

“Y/n have you-” Suran halts at your desk, eyes going wide, a growl almost leaving the chihuahua hybrid’s mouth as she smells you. Her thoughts jump to conclusion and accusation, putting two and two together to paint completely the wrong picture.

“Suran…?” You frown, but she only grimaces.

You smelled like sex, and Kim Taehyung.

You absolute whore, Suran thinks but the words are stuck in her trance of shock. She knew something was up with you and the CEOs, now your scent let it slip. She wasn't the only hybrid on this floor, everyone else would smell it too and figure out the truth. She would just sit back and watch it unfold, pick up the pieces when they realised you weren’t worth an ounce of their time.

She grits her teeth, the anger in her head reaching boiling point.

“Go take a fucking bath,” she yaps as she stomps away, leaving you confused as well as worried.

That was the second time someone commented on your smell. It was one missed shower surely you couldn’t smell that bad? You subtly take a strand of hair under your nose, sniffing but your human senses couldn’t figure it out.

You look around the room in paranoia, and you swear you see a pair of ears duck as soon as you turn that way. People were talking about you, you could feel it. And there was only one hybrid you trusted to tell you the truth, even if it hurt your feelings.

—

Your scent tainted the office so badly the hybrids couldn’t think, and as much as Yoongi would have loved to indulge in it like a house cat on catnip, he had work to do. Yet the clean air of his office made him grumpy, the ghost of your smell clinging desperately to his nose. What was the point in leaving the office when he couldn’t get his head in his work.

His thoughts are disrupted by a soft knock on his door, too light for human ears to hear but his perked up immediately.

“Come in,” he calls out before the figure behind it could run away.

Sure enough, just as he had suspected, the door opens to reveal you with your head hung low.

“Kitten?” He frowns in concern when you close the door behind you, leaning back on it without meeting his gaze. Your intoxicating scent was dulled by something sour. “What’s wrong?”

Why did you look so downcast? Did someone say something to you about your scent? Shit, he should’ve argued with Namjoon like the maknae line to call you back into the office, what the hell happened in their absence? The regret is instant, his claws were coming out, who did he have to scratch for making his kitten like this?

You mumble something that was incoherent even to him.

“Y/n try again,” he sighs. “Louder kitten.”

“Do I smell really bad?” You look up at him with glossy eyes and a protective growl comes up his throat. “Everyone keeps looking at me weird and the other CEOs said I didn’t but I think they were lying and I know you’ll tell me if I do.”

The teary word vomit makes Yoongi get out of his seat in concern.

“You don’t smell bad,” he swears as he approaches you, anything to get those tears away as they formed.

“You promise?” Your bottom lip trembled, and his features softened at the sight. You hated being vulnerable, so he knew this was playing on you more than what you were willing to admit.

“What’s that stupid thing the fox does with you?” He mumbles to himself in thought before turning to you with a smile.

He props up his pinky finger, holding it out to you and it makes you release a watery laugh. He grins when you take it with yours, thumbs pressing together as you sealed it.

“Are you sure?” You can’t help but ask. “Someone told me I needed to go take a bath.”

Who the fuck told you to do that? His eyes narrow, tail moving in aggravation. Dammit, they really should’ve kept you in the office, and he was definitely not going to let you find out what the smell really was. As much as he would love to watch your embarrassed little face, he knew you’d avoid them like the plague out of shame once your brain started overthinking the situation.

He’s about to speak and reassure you when he notices another odour mixed with yours, and it sets his jaw on edge. The stupid tiger scented you? Was he an idiot? Although those are the thoughts in his head he can’t deny the animistic jealousy turning him bitter.

—

Felines are sedentary hybrids, or that’s what Yoongi likes to tell people when they ask why he naps so much, sometimes in panther form on the desk which terrifies his human and prey employees. This pacing he was doing was weirdly out of character, but you don’t notice it. You are so focused on your work you have no idea his eyes are on you the entire time. He comes to stand behind you, leaning down as if you look at the computer screen over your head as his arms cage you into his hold.

“How’s the file coming along?” he asks as an obvious excuse, too bad you were too oblivious to see it. He pretends to read the screen as he rests his chin on the top of your head.

He hums as if in thought, moving his head as if in contemplation, when in reality he was just trying to rub his scent gland against you. His hybrid sight could see you smiling at the action even in the reflection of the screen.

He couldn’t help it. The smell was pulling him towards you the whole afternoon, first he thought he could resist but then he convinced himself one small scenting action wouldn’t hurt. One turned into ten. He rubbed his cheek against yours the last time he ‘checked’ your work, he even pretended he had a temperature at one point; taking your hand in his as he rubbed it against whatever scent gland he could, asking you if he felt hot and “are you sure?” when you replied he was warm but not feverish.

“What is it with you and New Times Roman?” he pretends to sigh exasperatedly, knowing how you felt about the font.

“It looks elite on documents Yoongi,” you grumble, pouting in a way that you thought he couldn’t see. He has to bite his lips to stop the grin stretching too far. “Seriously, how did you make it as CEO with such poor font decisions?”

“Helvetica is-”

“Helvetica my ass, that is such a basic boring choice and you know it,” you cut him off, tilting your head back to look at him but he doesn’t budge, your lips almost graze his scent gland, the proximity has him preening. Dammit, he was becoming more hormonal than the maknaes. “That’s such a lazy choice of penmanship Min Yoongi.”

You shake him off of you, sending him a grumpy look that makes him smirk as he drags his office chair beside yours. He smiles at you innocently when you give him a narrowed distrusting look.

“Someone needs to check you’re doing it right,” he explains himself much to your chagrin, shuffling closer until a part of him is pressed against you. Now he finally felt content, realising all his fidgeting was because he needed to be touching some part of you at least. He leans in closer under the guise of watching you work.

“You never micromanage me,” you huff, pride taking a shot, he didn’t trust other people when they worked under him, but he did you.

To your surprise there's a soft kiss to your temple, and you turn with your jaw open to see him turn back to the computer screen, but you don’t miss the blush.

Shit, your heart rate was skyrocketing, and you were so sure he could hear. Deep breaths, calm, relax, do not let them know. You turn back to the keyboard, typing away slowly not to make a mistake in your giddy mindset. You remember once when Jimin asked you cheekily why they heard your heart rate fluctuate so much, obviously knowing they were the reason why… the first lie your brain could come up with was a heart condition… Now whenever the youngest trio heard it beat louder they acted concerned, physically checking that you were alright, despite knowing there was nothing wrong with you at all, and making your state so much worse.

“Hyung-”

Namjoon didn’t knock when he opened the door to find the panther hybrid, but as soon as it opened he’s hit in the face with the most fragrant concoction of aromas he's ever had the pleasure of smelling. His hand tightens around the handle to ground himself. He catches a glimpse of Yoongi fawning over you as you worked with his gummy smile wide before he spun his head in shock at the new arrival.

“Joonie,” you greet him with a smile that starts to deflate when you see accusatory eyes aimed at the CEO currently sitting next to you.

“Babygirl, would you mind grabbing a file for me from the office?” he asks you with his eyes set on the panther. It was an obvious excuse but he needed to speak to his friend alone.

You nod, feeling a tension rise in the room as you looked between the hybrids, worried they were going to fight.

“No, I’ll go grab it for him later,” Yoongi declares as you rise from the chair, grabbing your elbow and pulling you back down, taking both you and Namjoon by surprise. The wolf feels his alpha side of him flare with anger at the direct defiance to his command, but he swallows it down as Yoongi tells you, “stay here.”

His gaze is firm in his instruction, a hidden warning behind his words as he moves towards the wolf. They both give you a tight lipped smile as the door closes, leaving you in the room to wonder what the hell was going on. You hear hushed angry whispers on the other side of the wood, but can’t make out any words. The urge to eavesdrop is more than tempting but if you got caught you didn’t want to get scolded or worse, feel their disappointment.

“It smells like you’ve just started your honeymoon in there,” Namjoon growls sarcastically in anger at the panther. “This I expected from the maknaes Hyung, what are you thinking?”

“Someone commented on her scent,” Yoongi snarls back, a gutteral sound vibrating in his throat. “And the stupid tiger scented her, I had to keep her in here.”

Namjoon’s eyebrow shoots up, he’s known the second oldest CEO for the longest out of them all, so he knows the look on his face when he’s trying to cover up his own misdeeds. He wasn’t stupid, he could see what Yoongi was doing even if the panther was pretending he didn’t.

“So you decided to scent her yourself?” Namjoon scoffs.

The panther looks visibly embarrassed when the lead CEO calls him out, face burning while he tries to school his features.

“Why don’t we try coming up with a solution for this dilemma rather than start throwing accusations?” Yoongi suggests to the wolf with narrowing eyes. “We have to keep her away from the other employees.”

“Hyung, if you're having trouble with self restraint then I don’t think any of us are going to cope being near her,” Namjoon sighs. “We could ask her to stay here, you can come back to the main office.”

“We’re not leaving her alone,” the panther almost hisses at the suggestion, irritated at the thought of you being left unprotected in the mating den he was building inadvertently. “Anyone could come in.”

“You’re not staying here,” the command could be seen in his eyes even without the words.

“Why don’t we take turns keeping an eye on her?”

Namjoon contemplates it for a second, if they only were around you for short bursts of time, leaving when the smell started to fog their judgement, rotating often enough so they could get a breath of fresh air in between shifts and clear their lungs, they might be able to pull this off.

“That could work,” he accepts.

“Obviously the maknaes are out,” Yoongi states matter of factly.

“Of course,” Namjoon agrees, as much as he loved them, he couldn’t trust them. Not with this, not with you.

—

You were a bit confused as to why you were told Hoseok needed you in the office, well actually that part was easy to understand. What you couldn’t comprehend was why Yoongi felt the need to escort you, or why he was glaring at anyone who entered the empty corridor, the look strong enough to get them to back away… or why the corridors were empty at all. But then again you missed Namjoon’s call for all the employees on your floor to gather at the cafeteria for an announcement, occupying them all with free beverages for all their hard work.

Yoongi is reluctant to leave you when you enter the office, his territorial side coming to the forefront in a way he could no longer deny. Maybe Namjoon was right, he was losing control of his self restraint around you, and the longer he stayed the more it decreased.

“Sunshine!” The lion hybrid calls out for you from his workspace, dragging a chair from Yoongi’s desk to his own and patting the seat for you to take. “Hyung, didn’t Namjoon need help with that new secret project?”

Hoseok recognises that look in the panther's eyes, the burning jealousy as you stepped away from him, suppressing the urge to roar out in objection. He flashes him a pointed look when he could smell the extent of Yoongi’s scenting the closer you got, how did he manage to get away with that without you realising?

“Secret project?” you ask intrigued, looking between them both, trying to decipher their silent communication, missing the fact that the secret project was in fact you. “You guys always tell me about new projects.”

Hobi snickers at your pout, he swore you didn’t know you were doing it sometimes. Yoongi had pointed it out to you a couple of times that you did it, and you denied it despite wearing the pout while arguing. He and Taehyung were in the room once when the conversation came up, and of course they had to imitate you teasingly to prove a point.

“I should go,” Yoongi announces reluctantly, a blank look on his face except for his eyes that were calling out for you to ask him to stay. You don’t translate the look but frown at the intensity of it, wondering if everything was okay.

“Have fun!” you yell after him as he walks away, turning back to Hoseok. “Spill, what secret project?”

The lion only chuckles, pulling out the paperwork he had prepared for you to keep you occupied.

“We need to get all of this done before the end of the day sunshine,” he informs you as you gawk at the sight. There was no way you both would be able to get this done, but that was the point, you just didn’t realise it. “But I might have to cover a meeting or two today, think you could just stay here and get as much done as possible?”

It was a cover in case he needed to make a quick exit, but you didn’t catch on.

“I’d be okay to stay here?” you ask, normally you went back to your own desk on the office floor when you didn’t work with the CEO you were helping.

“It might be a bit too distracting out there sunshine,” Hoseok explains hesitantly, not technically lying since yes it would be, but the distracting factor in the building would be you. “This needs to be done as soon as possible.”

“Okay,” you inhale deeply before exhaling. “Let’s do it.”

He flashes you a grin, turning back to his work as you started yours. He tried hard not to focus on the sweet smelling fragrance that was slowly spreading around the room, but it was easier said than done.

You’re trying to work through the load as quickly and efficiently as possible, a determined frown plastered on your face that Hobi can’t help admire. He’s almost worried how fast you’re ploughing through your pile, hoping someone had something set as a backup in case, by some miracle, you did finish the task.

An hour passes by in near silence, before he starts feeling a little light headed from the air around him. It wasn’t even as intense as it was earlier, and Yoongi’s and Taehyung’s essence dulled it down, but he could feel himself become restless, the urge to reach out and touch you compelling. Thankfully you’re too occupied to notice his internal battle, all he can hear is the rustling of the inked sheets of white.

“Ow!” you cry out as the paper cuts your skin like a knife.

The lion turns to you in worry, the scent of blood adding to the cocktail in the air. You hold your finger close to your face, watching the droplets of red bead out of the line with a pout. That stung like a bitch.

One side of his face lifts in a smirk of amusement and endearment from your expression, relieved it was nothing serious.

“Hoseokie,” you whine, turning your finger to show him the cut.

You don’t know what you were expecting him to do, laugh at you maybe? Call you cute at most? Definitely not what he actually did. The CEO takes your hand in his own, bringing the cut to his lips. At this point you think he’s going to kiss it, the playful look on your face turning to one of shock and want, eyes flickering to his lips before you meet his gaze again.

His tongue swipes the cut clean and you lose the ability to breathe. His stare doesn't budge, even when he puts your finger into his mouth. He’s… I… It’s just… Your brain loses the ability to think even when the digit is pulled out, finally his burning gaze now inspects the papercut, humming pleasantly to himself. He’s glad hybrid lions don’t share the same papillae on their tongue as actual lions do, that would’ve been uncomfortable for you. His tongue, as well as Taehyung’s and Yoongi’s, were more textured than a human’s but much softer than the sandpaper quality of their animal counterparts.

It made for an experience in the bedroom, his thoughts shift to a more smug sexy mindset, remembering a few past romances that definitely had no complaints about his performance. He can’t help but look at you and wonder how you would react, how you would feel on his tongue.

That was one thing he shared with his lion half, an insatiable high sex drive, and your scent wasn’t making this easy for him. As much as his instincts screamed at him to not even think about it, he knew his time in the office with you needed to come to an end, otherwise he was not going to be able to let you out of his sight. An evil little voice starts whispering in his head, he could easily just lock the door so the others wouldn’t interrupt or take him away from you. If you somehow ended up bent over the desk, or sitting on it in front of his chair with your legs wide open so he could lick the ache away… well it was only nature, no one could blame either of you for that, not even Namjoon.

He smirks when he notices you fidget in your seat, a new wave of arousal saturated the air, maybe you were thinking the same thing.

You were.

—

“What do you mean we’re not allowed in the office today?” Jimin deadpans at both of the older CEOs.

“It means what you think it means,” Yoongi rolls his eyes as he speaks, ignoring the childish glare the maknaes were sending his way.

“Just get on with your work,” Namjoon instructs, not giving into any sympathy for the younger hybrids, it was for your safety after all. “You guys can play your usual games with Y/n tomorrow.”

The bunny hybrid’s features started slowly simmering with rage.

“So we can’t be trusted?” Jimin scoffed while the thick anger in the younger two’s throats prevented them from speaking.

“Taehyung’s already scented her,” Namjoon doesn’t look impressed when he glances over at the tiger. “We can’t let the situation get any worse than what it already is.”

Taehyung looks away from them both in disgust. Were the hyungs really containing you like you were a problem?

“Let’s not pretend that Yoongi hyung doesn’t reek of angel,” Jimin spits through gritted teeth, glaring at the panther with disdain. “I was wondering where she disappeared to, should have realised.”

“This is proof enough you three can’t be trusted,” the wolf hybrid sighs in disappointment, was he really hoping they would just accept his decision with maturity and understanding? He really should’ve known better.

“Can we just stop acting like Y/n isn’t our mate?” Jungkook finally erupts, his fury uttered in a steady eerie calm, while his eyes burn with fire. “Of course we’re going to want to be with her when she’s in this state, of course we’re going to seek her out and play with her and guard her, but we have enough sense to know when to stop.”

There's a nonverbal fight that ensues between the lead CEO and the youngest, both of them unflinching in their staring match. Namjoon decides to ignore the first part of the maknae’s speech, he’s had that discussion too many times, the testosterone in the room was not going to listen to reason.

“I can’t take that chance.”

—

It was Jin’s turn to ‘keep an eye on you’. He’s approaching the office as Hoseok leaves it, a pleasant grin on the Lion’s face… The one Jin used to see when Hoseok ‘slept late’, back before they had all met you. What exactly went on in that room?

“Hobi,” Jin greets him with a look of suspicion. “You’re looking… happier than usual.”

He only sniggers back, a look of triumph on his face that Jin couldn’t decipher.

“I made it worse,” he admits with a wave as he walks away. “Sorry Hyung.”

Jin's confused look turns to one of nerves, gulping before he takes the handle and opens the door. He holds his breath when he enters, a foolish attempt of denying your scent, but he couldn’t hold it for long.

He makes it to his desk before he inhales, instantly clutching onto the desk as it hits him full force. His eyes narrow at the concerned look on your face, were you trying to kill him or just test his patience?

“Jinnie are you okay?” you ask, eyes wide with worry.

He presses his lips together before he answers, walking to the windows of their office quickly to open them. It was so intense, it was going to make him choke, or moan, he didn’t know which was worse.

“Fine honey,” he reassures you stiffly. “It’s just a bit hot in here.”

You go too quiet for his liking, he glances over at you before making his way back to the desk with a frown. He’s about to ask if you were okay, but the little laughter that escapes you reassures him.

“Honey?” you repeat teasingly.

His ears burn, as he shyly smiles at the desk, trying to hide behind his hair as he looked over the paperwork in front of him.

“You’re still my beautiful girl,” he admits, making your insides warm, a stupid grin plastered on your face as your heart skips repeatedly. “But the tiger has two names, we should get two too right?”

You bite your lip to stop from letting noises out of your mouth from the mushy feeling you were experiencing.

“Do you not like it?” Jin asks without taking his eyes off the letters in front of him, checking random things off with the pen in his hand.

“No I love it,” you’re quick to reassure him, turning to your own workload on Hobi’s desk. “Bears love honey right?”

He chuckles loud enough for you to hear, a warm smile on both your faces.

—

Taehyung nearly growls menacingly at an employee, Jimin and Jungkook aren’t far from doing the same.

“Seriously, did you even read the formatting notes?” Jimin scolds Seulgi uncharacteristically. Did no one know how to do things properly except you? What was the point in all these useless people?

“Sorry Depyunim,” the lynx hybrid bows in apology as he walks away muttering to himself.

Their anger had surged due to one Kim Namjoon, and of course the hybrid behind him, Min Yoongi. Sometimes Jimin swore that the panther hybrid had it out for him when it came to you. But then Jimin couldn’t deny he probably got as good as he gave, but not like this, this was beyond unfair. This was unjust.

The three maknaes conjugate in the middle of the work floor, not breaking stride as they walked out before they bit someone’s head off.

“I can’t believe they're keeping her in the office away from us,” Taehyung’s voice rumbles for his friends to hear.

“I can’t believe we’ve been banned from our own office,” Jimin hisses under his breath.

“I spent two hours in a meeting with her where nothing happened,” Jungkook complains, looking pissed as ever. “And I can’t be trusted?”

He scoffs at the audacity of it, the sheer greed of his hyungs. He wasn’t some baby, Taehyung wasn’t a cub, Jimin was more mature than all of them sometimes, this screamed prejudice, and the hell were they going to take it playing dead.

—

Bears have very long tongues. Ever since your earlier encounter with Hoseok you couldn’t get certain thoughts out of your head, or stop where they were heading.

At this moment, you were chin in hand, elbow on Hoseok’s desk, watching the bear hybrid sort through his paperwork with glazed eyes. You couldn’t help thinking about all of them, but Seokjin was the one in front of you and once you started dwelling on the subject you couldn’t help where your mind went.

You notice the sudden startled look on Jin’s face, his head jerked towards you, eyes wide with panic.

What the…

He almost choked. Why did the smell suddenly get ten times more abundant? He opened the window to ventilate the room enough so that he could cope, but even still his methods were no match for the way you were emitting that delicious scent unconsciously.

You feel caught, quickly turning back to your work as your cheeks burned.

What a dangerous girl, Seokjin thought to himself as he gulped, quickly taking out his phone as he texted the leader that his time in this heavenly punishment needed to come to an end if he wanted to maintain his abstinence. Who knew temptation came in the form of a horny human girl?

Thankfully the wolf hybrid was quick to respond, a simple ‘on my way’ sent in reply.

Jin can’t help chuckle out loud to himself about the situation, making you turn to him with a puzzled expression. You didn’t even realise how you were turning them crazy. In all honesty, though they never admitted it openly, they had smelled you becoming turned on by them before. But this time something was different, the erogenous scent was just more concentrated because it was the first time they could detect your earlier orgasm, especially since it soaked into your skin. It was like a beacon to mate for them, and they were all so receptive, if you were a hybrid you would’ve seen it and reacted and finally they would no longer have to abide by Namjoon’s stupid rules. For the first time in a while the bear feels resentment towards the lead CEO.

Talk of the devil. Once again Kim Namjoon opens the door without knocking first, once again he's struck by the potency of your arousal. He strikes you with an intense glare, making you wonder if you should be here, or whether you had outstayed your welcome in the office.

“Umm I should probably finish this back at my own desk,” you try to say lightheartedly, but the dejected feeling in your chest weighs on your voice.

“Sit.” The order is almost barked out as you stand from the chair, and immediately your ass is back down, eyes on the wolf hybrid in anticipation. Even Jin is taken back by the outburst.

With a harsh exhale, Namjoon tries to calm his own territorial testosterone.

“Those papers need finishing today,” he informs you calmly although the tone doesn't reach his face. “If you go back to your desk you know you’ll get distracted with helping the other employees on their projects, babygirl.”

That… seemed reasonable, so why were you wearily watching the CEO approach his own desk next to the one you were currently occupying.

Jin catches the corner of your eye, your attention turning to him as he departs silently with a wave, a comforting smile on his face. They were all giving you whiplash today, you were so confused as to what was going on. Was it some sort of hybrid season where certain traits and behaviours were prevalent? There was usually a memo for that sort of thing.

There's a palpable tension building in the room and you’re trying to wrack your brains as to why. Did you do something to piss him off? His jaw is clenched with such force you’re scared his teeth will break under the pressure.

You won’t know unless you ask.

“Joonie,” you hesitantly say, hoping the nickname will earn you his dimple, but he barely acknowledges you. “Is everything okay?”

“Everything’s fine Y/n,” he snaps, but that's how you know he’s lying.

He called you by your name, and not his term of endearment. Your whole body deflates as you feel your heart sink, what did you do? Your brain goes into overdrive, overthinking every interaction you had with the male since your last friendly encounter with him. Just the other day you were both laughing as you exited a meeting together, what changed since then?

“Did I do something to upset you?” you press in a small voice, scared about his reaction. He sighs, hearing the sad tone in your words. It's just very hard to restrain myself from wanting you babygirl, but how does he say that out loud and live with your rejection.

“No.”

It was so obvious how much they adored you, that's why he didn’t believe you were completely oblivious, sure you reciprocated their affection but you never crossed a line even when they might’ve. The others were growing impatient, blaming Namjoon for being unable to confess but he had told them all, they weren’t to say anything unless you did so first. The matter was too complicated, they were your bosses, they were hybrids, polygamy was normal for some breeds, but not for humans, not really. The imbalance of power was too skewed, this needed to come from you, otherwise any relationship they suggested might only be agreed upon from a place of fear.

What if you thought you had to say yes otherwise you could lose your job or you thought they were taking advantage of their positions and you felt coerced to submit. There were too many ways this could go wrong, it could create such an awkward atmosphere and cost them the time they spent with you. This was enough, he had said it to the others so many times, the idea of losing you in any way terrified the wolf hybrid, so much so that even he was blind to your own sentiment.

An uncomfortable silence ensues between you both until you’re forced to interrupt it. Namjoon hears the chair slide back, about to question your movements when he sees you approach his desk.

“These need your signature depyunim,” you don’t look at him as you pass him the papers, and with your close proximity he finds himself wanting you to. You just encompassed him with that hedonistic scent and he felt his animalistic side reach breaking point. He hated it when you called him depyunim, the term was too distant, it reminded him of the barriers he had to enforce between you and for once he wanted to give in to the impulse to tear them apart.

You’re still holding on to the papers, expecting him to take them, when his hand wraps around your wrist, yanking you closer, forcing you to look at him. His more sadistic side enjoys the way your eyes dilate, the way your breath catches in your throat as you struggle to speak. He signs the papers without breaking eye contact with you, he could feel your pulse accelerate through your wrist, enjoying the taste of adrenaline that joined your scent in the air.

“Thank you babygirl,” he gutturally praises you, letting go abruptly. You catch your breath then when you nearly stumble, panting lightly as you avoid his gaze, taking the contract back to your temporary work station.

Your phone buzzes, and absentmindedly you reach for it, the text inducing a frown on your face but not quite breaking you out of the trance the wolf hybrid put you in. You breathe deeply as if to calm yourself, the CEO near you is about to voice his apology but you’re shooting out of the room before he could say a word.

“Ineedtogotothebathroom,” it comes out a jumbled mess but he heard it clear enough.

He lets you go, groaning out in regret of his actions. He’d make it right when you came back, hopefully this short break from your presence would clear his head.

—

You made sure to wait until the corridor was empty, your head turning from side to side to ensure the coast was clear. You knew this particular filling room you were standing outside of well, you cried in it a number of times when the stress levels got too high to cope. You just didn’t understand why Jungkook had texted you to meet him here urgently. The text just said ‘emergency - store room b, don’t tell hyungs.’

You knock on the door, still checking that no one was around as the door opens, a hand grabbing yours as it tugged you forward. You stumbled into a chest as the door slams shut, hearing the lock turn, trapping you inside with three maknaes. The first thing you notice is their devilish smirks when you pull away, although still caught in the grasp of the tiger hybrid. The second is the mischievous swish of two tails.

You watch Taehyung sniff the air, his dark stare penetrating you as you hear the possessive rumble in his chest.

“Hyungs,” Jimin scoffs, shaking his head. They scented you? There were different variations of intensity but you were covered by three of them, hints of Namjoon still fresh from his earlier ministrations. They might as well have put a collar around your neck with their names on the tag, the CEO was seething.

“Where have you guys been hiding all day?” you ask, missing the irony completely.

“Did they seriously have a problem with you doing it subtly and then do it themselves a hundred times worse?” Jimin turns to the tiger, ignoring your question completely as he fumes.

“How did they expect her to leave today without someone noticing their stench on her?” Jungkook snorts in disbelief and outrage, arms crossed as he leans back on one of the filing cabinets.

“What!” you suddenly feel very self conscious when their gazes shift to you. So you did smell. You smelled of them. But…

Your mind flashes back to your vexed chihuahua colleague, did she smell Taehyung on you? Is that why she was so enraged? But… they’ve scented you before, not to the extent that the maknaes were suggesting the older CEOs did but… it was inevitable. You all spent so much time together, scents were going to rub off on one another. You’re sure they've accidentally scented other employees too, although the thought does make you sulky.

“Angel, are you telling me you haven’t noticed the hyungs smothering you?” Jimin doesn’t believe it, there was no way you were that blind.

“But why would they…” your mind goes blank in your state of stupor, not even allowing you to think of reasons as it would lead you down a very uncertain road called hope and misery. If they wanted you like that, they would’ve said by now. You squash down the yearning rising in your heart, reminding yourself for the hundredth time, hybrids were just naturally more physically affectionate than humans, their actions meant nothing to them the way it did to you.

“Why are humans so aggravating?” Taehyung sighs.

“Hey!” You take offence, scowling at the tiger hybrid as you tried to detach your arm from his hold. “Just because I’m not as intune to my surroundings the way you are or that familiar with hybrid behaviour doesn’t mean I’m stupid.”

“I didn’t call you stupid flower,” Taehyung muttered gruffly, pulling you back against him easily.

“You insinuated it,” you retort, pushing him away with an annoyed pout.

“Angel,” Jimin tries to placate you but you can hear the undertones of amusement in his voice as he wraps his arms around your middle from behind. His chin rests on your shoulder, lips turned to your ear. “For someone so clever, you have to admit you can be a little dense sometimes.”

“So spell it out for me,” you dare, eyes narrowed as you tilt your head towards him.

They don’t speak, if anything they looked like their jaws were suddenly wired shut, and it pissed you off. You rolled your eyes, sighing.

“Fine,” you dismiss your earlier request. “At least tell me why they’ve scented me.”

Again you're met with silence. Now who were the aggravating ones?

“Is this just some hybrid thing I’m just not educated about?” you ask with a huff. “If you guys won’t tell me I’ll just go ask the others.”

“No you’ve spent enough time with them,” Taehyung grumbled, pouting like you were earlier.

Jimin rubs his cheek against yours but you turn your head away, making him whine sadly. He’s been craving you all day, his precious vixen, why did you move away?

“No, no more scenting until someone tells me why,” you say firmly. “You guys have been acting weird all day.”

“Bunny,” Jungkook hesitates for a moment, trying to word it right in his head without spilling the thing Namjoon forbade them from telling you. As angry as they were with their pack alpha, they wouldn’t disrespect him. “You know you’re our favourite human right?”

You ignore the burst of gratification in your chest from his words, nodding slowly.

“Well, because we’ve known you for so long, our… animal counterparts translate our… fondness for you,” he stumbles with his words, touching his ears as part of his nervous habit, avoiding your gaze. He tries again. “That side of us recognises you as part of the pack, but you don’t smell like us, so we get the urge to correct that.”

Both Jimin and Taehyung are impressed by the explanation, looking surprised at the genius of the maknae, which you thankfully miss.

“Oh,” it takes you a second for the information to compute, an affectionate warmth spreading out from your middle. A small voice in the back of your head utters a reminder that he means platonically, crushing the pleasant feeling, but you shake those thoughts away. This was enough.

“So can we scent you? Please?” he pleads, reaching for you as he approaches.

Jimin pushes you into his arms and the rabbit hybrid immediately encircles his arms around you, rubbing his nose against your cheek as you giggle at the sensation. He grins happily, hugging you tight, eyes closing in content. This was perfect.

“Kookie, are you sure you’re a bunny hybrid?” you laugh as you’re smothered in his embrace.

“Not this again,” he groans.

“Let’s look at the evidence,” you tease. “You’re too muscly to be a bunny, way too tall, and Jinnie says you go boxing a lot.”

“Noona,” he whines. “I’m not a kangaroo.”

“Are you sure?” you snicker.

He pouts, pulling away from you to crouch down to your level.

“These are bunny ears,” he informs you, playfully scolding you with the look on his face, taking your hand in his as he makes you touch his soft ears. He tries not to thump his leg happily against the ground at the sensation, but it shakes in his effort. “See?”

“Hmmm I’m not convinced,” you tease.

“You should show her your tail,” Jimin says, smirking suggestively, eyes disappearing into crescent smiles. You glare at the arctic fox, missing the look on Jungkook’s face as you scratched the base of his ears. He can’t stop his leg this time.

“My turn,” the tiger announces, pulling you away from the bunny. You bite your lips to stop from laughing at the disgruntled expression on the maknae’s face.

Taehyung sits on the ground, pulling you down with him until you land in his lap, but he looks unfazed.

“Pets please,” he demands politely, bowing his head down. Seriously, was this your boss? You smile endearingly as your hands reach for his ears, starting at the base with a scratch the same way you had with Jungkook. His response is instant, head nestling against your neck. He chuffs in content, the sensation against your skin a little ticklish, but you were pleased you caused the sound.

“Me too,” a familiar whine is heard as another body joins you both on the ground, Jimin places himself as close to you as he could, tail whipping side to side. He rests his head on your arm, nudging you so you’d take the hint. His fingers trace the side of your waist lightly, eyes on that tender look on your face. He softly purrs, caught in a daze as the scent of you and them intoxicates him. You’re surprised he’s waiting so patiently, well patient for Jimin, the three of them normally fought over your attention loudly, this was unusual.

The bunny joins you all on the floor, rubbing his face against your back, closing his eyes as if he were going to nap in the position all day. He could if he wanted to, he grins, satisfied that their scheme was a success. His fingers itched to pull you away from the tiger but he would wait his turn to indulge in you, that was the agreement between them.

Your attention is pulled three ways, Jimin’s soft tail was dancing on your exposed thigh where your skirt bunched, Taehyung’s breath was felt against that spot on your neck that had you restless, unaware of his inner animal begging him to at least graze his teeth over your skin if he couldn’t mark you. Jungkook’s fingers pitterpatted across your back, lips pressed against the middle of your shoulder blades. His thoughts were both similar and different from the tiger, yeah he wanted to bite you but he wanted you to cover him with your own bites, scratches and marks too, then everyone would know who he belonged to.

“Hey If i were a hybrid what would I be?” you ask randomly to distract yourself from all the senses your body was experiencing.

“Tigeress” “Bunny” “Vixen”

You chuckle as their responses come all at once, starting to relax in their hold. Just let yourself enjoy this for now.

The four of you spent the rest of the day in the store room, work completely forgotten, completely unaware of the four hybrids in the building searching for you desperately. Well not completely unaware… the three maknaes share a look between themselves as hours pass, the whole point of the hyung’s plan was to keep you hidden from other hybrids so they wouldn’t catch a whiff of their mate.

The three of them were doing just that.

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taglist: @nlost21 @pb-n-juju @needyomnivore @lvpersona @marvelfamily3000 @love2lovesworld @halesandy @dreamamubarak @deepseavibez @mikymouse0729 @barnesrogerslover @itismochirice @scribblemetae @swga-ficrecs @pipminnie @agustverse

Little do You Know | OT7 | Seventy Eight

Pair: Bangtan (ot7) x f!reader 

Summary: In a world where idols and actors can’t date, whether it be because of contracts, lack of time, or the dangers that involve having your personal life leaked, the market opened up for a new work field. Playmate Agencies emerged to supply the entertainment world with highly trained companions for hire. Bangtan is looking for new playmates. And you just happen to be the one all of them choose. 

Genre: Fluff, angst, smut, playmate au, idol au. 

Chapter warnings: Smut!! Lil angst!! So much fluff. I wasn’t feeling too good yesterday, so I only managed to post the update now, I hope you don’t mind! 

OH I just announced a new Mini Series with Seokjin as the main! If you wanna check it out <3

WC: 4.3k

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Little do You Know | OT7 | Seventy Nine

Pair: Bangtan (ot7) x f!reader 

Summary: In a world where idols and actors can’t date, whether it be because of contracts, lack of time, or the dangers that involve having your personal life leaked, the market opened up for a new work field. Playmate Agencies emerged to supply the entertainment world with highly trained companions for hire. Bangtan is looking for new playmates. And you just happen to be the one all of them choose. 

Genre: Fluff, angst, smut, playmate au, idol au. 

Chapter warnings: Smut!! Dom!Tae proceed with care……….or not ;)

WC: 4k

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Little do You Know | OT7 | Eighty

Pair: Bangtan (ot7) x f!reader 

Summary: In a world where idols and actors can’t date, whether it be because of contracts, lack of time, or the dangers that involve having your personal life leaked, the market opened up for a new work field. Playmate Agencies emerged to supply the entertainment world with highly trained companions for hire. Bangtan is looking for new playmates. And you just happen to be the one all of them choose. 

Genre: Fluff, angst, smut, playmate au, idol au. 

Chapter warnings: Fluff and angst! Let’s visit HYBE Insight. 

WC: 3k

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“You seem very excited, kitten.” Yoongi was chuckling next to you as you walked down the steps to the entrance of the HYBE INSIGHT. 

“I am! I never dated anyone who had a whole museum dedicated to them!” and visiting the place sounded like the perfect way to spend your first day of summer vacation. 

“It’s not all for us, the other groups have exhibits as well.” 

“Maybe I should date them too.” you giggled, skipping the last steps. 

Yoongi scoffed, squeezing your hand in warning. “Maybe date Bang PD-nim too while you’re at it.” 

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Dance of Time 1

D A N C E   O F   T I M E

“A love like that was a serious illness, an illness from which you never entirely recover.” -Bukowski

Summary: You were finally back in the hometown you left right after graduation, researching the mysterious manor that laid outside of the town limits. Your family was acting weird, and the owner of the manor seemed to know more about you than he should. Everything changed when you entered the manor, and you weren’t sure your dance with time was going to last very long.

Pairing: Vampire BTS x Human Reincarnated Reader

Status: Ongoing (random updates)

Genre: soulmate au, reincarnation, yandere themes, possessive boys, angst, fluff, poly au, vampire au, 

Warnings: smut, violence, tempers, mentions of death, murder, some explicit descriptions of violence, blood,

Chapter Warnings: stalking, small town legends, death, violence, mentions of stabbing and blood, slight yandere behavior, 

Masterlist // Chapter 2

Taglist: @psychosupernatural​ @carolinexkpop​ @strxwbloody​ @strawberry-moonpies​​ @dustyinkpages​​ @iamkookiesforyou​​ @anaspectoflife​​ @btsw1fe​​ @yoongisgirl69​ @toughbook​ @yoongibabs​

————————————————–

Insanity

Albert Einstein once said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Following the same routine and believing things would change, would move how you wanted them to.

Through studying history, you found this phenomenon to be accurate. So many events in history could have been prevented if they only looked back and did something different. Followed a different course. Chose a different path.

You were reminded of this every day, as you stared at your research, wondering why nothing was changing in your life. You were coming up on 27, the past six years of your life spent doing research and visiting historical sites. You were a historian, your passion for learning turned into a love for digging deeper into different events.

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danger | ksj x reader chapter one: good girl

summary: kim seokjin is a rich asshole. you are an ambitious attorney. smut ensues when he just won’t leave you alone.

pairing: seokjin/reader word count: 8.6K (Part 1 of 2)

rating: 18+

genre: smut | pwp | okay fine, porn with a thin plot | but it’s really thin

warnings:  hate sex, language, terrible ethical decisions, blatant misuse of office furniture

Chapter 01 | 02

**************************

Are you fucking kidding me? What am I to you? Am I easy to you? Are you playing with me? You are in danger now Why are you testing me? Why are you testing me? Don’t get me twisted

– BTS, “Danger”

******************************

“Excuse me, Miss?”

You look up from your phone to the bartender who’s just walked up to you. He’s holding a bottle of champagne. 

“Yes?”

“The gentleman sitting just over there sent this for you.”

Your gaze follows the direction of his nod and immediately your blood warms to a boil.

The man who’s just finished wiping the floor with your ass in court has just sent you a bottle of champagne. Champagne is for celebrating, not for self-medicating after a brutal trial with a shitty outcome. But of course, that’s kind of the point, isn’t it? 

You’d spotted the hint of a smile on Kim Seokjin’s lips in the quick moment you’d looked his way.  He was seated at a table – surrounded by his adoring lackeys – who were no doubt high-fiving themselves into a frenzy after this afternoon’s verdict. You’d been so busy drowning your sorrows in wine and furiously texting with Nari that you hadn’t even noticed his entire group’s arrival.

The absolute nerve of this man.

“I don’t want it,” you say. “Please send it back.”

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This is just soo amazing n beautifully written🥺💗✨

Soft & Sad & Happy & Something Else | KSJ

Genre: Songfic based on Breathless by Shayne Ward

Pairings: Jin x Reader

Rating: 18+ / Mature / Explicit

Themes & Content Warnings: Fluff, smut, comfort, strangers to lovers, slow-ish burn, oral, vaginal, fingering

Word Count: 4.6k

Author’s Note: For @skyys-universe‘s ask! I haven’t published a songfic before. Loved the imagery and the feels. I really hope you like it, and that it elicits the feels you wanted! 💜

Permanent Taglist: @purpleheartsfortae @btseditsworld @greezenini @missbickerbocker @dearbambideer @helenazbmrskai​ @morti13 @skyys-universe​

Kim Seokjin is soft.

You guess based on the way he’s smiling so warmly at you from across the table. He started at work a month ago, and though you’ve been assigned to show him the ropes, you still barely know him. First dates aren’t your forte, you whined, but as your sister smoothed the wrinkle on the back of your gorgeous new dress and gave you a kiss on the cheek for luck, she reminded you that first dates weren’t really anyone’s forte.

Sighing, you rest your chin in your hand, elbow on the table, fingers pressing lightly onto your cheek, as if trying to reach her. As if trying to activate the beacon. A signal for help.

The reason you need help is because Kim Seokjin’s warm smile hits like gasoline on the kindling in your chest.

It’s actually Kim Seokjin who needs the help. His smile is so warm because over the course of twenty-eight days, twelve hours, a goat cheese salad, prime rib, and a shared chocolate cake, the candle that he lit in worship of you has turned into a torch that he will carry for you.

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For Love & Money Pt.1

PART ONE - PART TWO

Words: 4361

Genre: Fluff, Slice of life, Casual writing, (maybe eventual smut), Arranged/Forced Marriage!Au

Summary: For love, you foolishly lied to yourself. For money, you married a stranger. 

Notes: I got tired of writing so much angst haha. So this is completely the opposite lol From one extreme to the next, I swear. Oh yeah, I’m trying different styles of writing and different OC types…so the story’s a bit saucier. But yes..there is minimal pain in this story…enjoy~ 

Ringg Rinnggg.

“Honey is that you?” It’s your mother’s chirpy voice on the other line - you furrow your brows.

“Is everything okay? Your voice message said it was an emergency.” Suddenly your back is pushed against the wall.

“Yes…yes. Everything’s fine. Your father and I are fine.” Your mother hesitates. “It’s just that I was wondering if you would like to go on a dat-”

“A date?” The stranger presses their body against yours as their lips meet your neck, trailing kisses up and down. “No thanks mom.”

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éffleurer | 01

There were always whispers in your office about what secrets Seokjin hid behind his clean image. Now, you knew at least one of them.

Pairing: Seokjin x Female Reader

Genre: CFO!Jin AU; Smut

Word Count: 4,900+

Warnings: Profanity, mentions of sex, mature themes

Notes: Sections entirely in italics denote a flashback

If you enjoy my writing, please consider buying me a ko-fi

Next Chapter | Series Masterlist

At your illustrious accounting firm, Seokjin was only known to be an all-around good guy, the type to spend his weekends attending charity events where he handed over huge checks or buying backpacks filled with supplies for school drives. Last year, he had even headed a project to help local businesses fix their struggling budget books, saving countless small shop owners throughout the district.

And with luck on your side, after being hired into this proverbial den of wolves, you found yourself blessed with a boss whose kindness and good looks were only overshadowed by the trust the CEO seemed to have in him and the results he brought in for the company. Results you now had the pleasure of helping him bring in. And if anyone was more than pleased with making Seokjin happy, it was you.

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✨Always going to be my fav✨

Admire | 01

Seokjin x Fem!Reader | arranged marriage!au, husband!Seokjin | Strangers to lovers, angst, self discovery, loneliness in luxury, touch starvation (eventual smut), eventual domestic fluff

Summary: You’d never needed anyone else. Growing up alone, living alone, existing alone. It all came naturally and effortlessly, quite like breathing. That was until your somewhat distant parents finally decided it was time to make good on a promise. One they’d made before you were even born.

Warnings: None

Word Count: 2.2k

A/N: Here we go! I’ve said it before, but this story was based off a dream I had ages ago. I’m not quite sure how long the fic will be, but I figured I should write and share as soon as I could. Enjoy :)

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»»————- <<prologue | next >> ————-««  

  After all that, you supposed God wasn’t too cruel in the end.

You only say this because even in the midst of every other screwed up thing going on in this family-organised-arranged-marriage, the deity had decided to reward you with a man that wasn’t grotesque to look at. Actually, Seokjin was pretty damn far from it.

You observed the back of the tall man’s head as you made your way up towards the house. Our house. The whole place had been settled for you already, making you feel as though your marriage to this wealthy son had been planned long before you’d learned how to even walk.

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⤑ made-up love song i.

Your first encounter with Kim Seokjin doesn’t go so well, nor your second, or your third… and maybe that’s because it shouldn’t work on paper. You’re an elementary school teacher living with your best friend, and have never left the country despite hitting the third decade of your life not so long ago. He’s the dad of one of your students, nearly a decade older than you and divorced. Oh yes, and just another minor detail – he’s a multimillionaire.

Your lives are lightyears apart, yet somehow, your paths having now crossed, things just seem to fall into place…

pairing; kim seokjin x reader  genre/warnings; strangers to lovers, romance, eventual smut, eventual angst, single dad! seokjin, ceo! seokjin, elementary school teacher! oc, age gap (oc is 30, seokjin is 37), seokjin is a dilf, not really much to warn in this first chapter, there’s some flirting, oc doesn’t want to admit she finds seokjin dishy, she’s possibly in denial that there’s a spark there, jimin and soobin appear 🥰 words; 11,028 

↪︎ chapter index

chapters; i • ii • iii • iv • v • vi • vii • viii  • ix • x • epilogue  (+ drabbles)

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athina’s endless list of fav seokjin fics

welcome! after almost 2.5 years of reading bts fanfiction and almost 1.5 year of deciding to use this untouched side blog as a bts fanfic review blog (bc i hate being a silent reader), i think it’s time to do a list of the seokjin stories that i liked the most! don’t forget to show love to all the fanfic authors!!! thank you for providing us such incredible stories❣️

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fools - k.sj.

genre: angst, fluff (6.7k)

summary: only fools fall for you. (fools!universe)

masterlist     series masterlist

the first time you saw jin, it was at 4 am in the ‘24/7’ library you liked to go to. he was sitting all alone at a circular table, staring intensely at the books in front of him, his eyebrows had scrunched up and his lips were caught in between his teeth in concentration. he only strayed his eyes away from them to see you enter the room. blinking owlishly, he gives you a one over, curiously but then returns back to studying, seemingly not paying anymore mind to you.

you set your books in a table far away from his, and sat down in a huff. you don’t like being around people and even if this man is pretty, prettier than you’d like to admit, he still was no exception and you snort when you see all the sticky notes and highlighters he has out on the table.

what a dork.

you don’t give him too much thought either, instead opening up your books and getting lost in them, immediately taking down notes and groaning in frustration every now and then.

you were so lost in finishing your assignment that you don’t notice his gaze linger on you after he deemed it was safe to do so without getting caught by you. and he continues to do so because you don’t bother to lift your head to look at anyone and jin tilts his head as he plays with one of his highlighters while still looking at you.

did you have different textbooks?

because what could be so interesting that you haven’t looked up for the past hour?

jin shakes his head at himself when he realizes he’s been staring at a stranger like a creep for an hour now. he’s got his own papers to finish so he pats his cheeks roughly, mumbling an apology when the clapping sound makes people look at him with an annoyed expression and starts working again.

he feels slightly bashful because he broke one of the rules of midnight libraries which was no sound, absolutely no sound, not even your steps should make a sound. if libraries are quiet in the morning, they should be as quiet as a graveyard at night.

and the next time he looks up from his books, you aren’t there anymore.

this happens a couple of times throughout the days he sees you, he will see you walk in and settle with your books and even he’s checking every ten minutes to see if you’re there or not, you still manage to vanish into thin air when he doesn’t notice.

jin thinks you’re a ghost.

because he can’t understand how you move so quickly and quietly, even when he sees you in the library the next week, he’s startled because one minute he’s happily using his lime-colored highlighter on text that doesn’t need highlighting only to casually look up and seeing you in your usual spot.

and jin is so surprised that he almost falls out of his chair when you give him a side glance. he’s almost tempted to touch your cardigan to see if you’re even real or not because no one else acknowledges you except him. like literally everyone acts like you’re invisible or you actually are invisible and he just doesn’t know.

there’s a reason why no one acknowledges you but jin doesn’t know that.

you see, jin doesn’t think a lot before doing something and now the mystery of whether he’s discovered a ghost or not is greater than any future embarrassment he might feel.

he strides over to you and slightly pulls on your cardigan, and yes, he feels the fabric, you look pretty normal up close, you don’t have full black eyes or whatever shit ghosts have going on, and he heaves in relief.

“so, you’re real, thank god” it’s only after he mumbles those words, he realizes his blunder because insinuating that you thought someone (someone you’re attracted to) was a ghost wasn’t the greatest way to flirt and he definitely knows his answer if he decides to ask you out because you’re glaring at him so hard, he wants to run away.

yep, his answer would be a big fat no.

before he can apologize or explain why he thought you were a ghost or why he pulled on your cardigan, you shove past him with your books held tightly against your chest and leave but not without whispering curses at him the entire time.

jin fucked up, he knows he did and he couldn’t help but think how stupid he was to just randomly walk up to you, still a complete stranger and pull on your cardigan, jin also couldn’t help that you felt familiar to him, in a way he couldn’t explain.

so, the next time you walked into the library, he was about to come up to you and apologize but then he sees how you roll your eyes as soon as you spot him and even when he stands up to try and talk to you, you brush right past him with a scowl on your face.

jin doesn’t know what to do.

he doesn’t want to risk pissing you off even more but he knows that he has to apologize, but you do look like you are going to kill him if he comes near you. and his life is kind of precious to him.

nevertheless, with fumbling fingers and twitching lips, jin slowly walks to where you are and before he even opens his mouth to speak, you’re cutting him off.

“what, are you going to pull my cardigan again?” you snap at him and he quickly shakes his head, eyes shutting because he cannot believe he got himself into this situation.

“you aren’t wearing a cardigan today” he mumbled and winced immediately when you cocked an eyebrow at him.

what is the fucking deal with him when he is around you?

where is his ‘be respectful, not an asshole’ filter?

“don’t get smart with me” you practically growled, irritation sinking deeper into your skin and jin shamefully nodded.

he had that one coming.

“i just wanted to apologize, i didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, i’m pretty sure it looked strange but my intention wasn’t that because the reason i even did it was- “he takes a deep sigh when he notices you sitting up straight, curious enough to want to know why he even pulled your cardigan instead of you know, saying hello like a normal person would.

“it was because i thought you were a ghost” he whispered, feeling the embarrassment settling deep in him as he explained and he snaps his eyes open to look at you when he hears your loud laugh. it gathers the attention of everyone else in the library but you don’t look like you care because you’re laughing so hard that your eyes have gathered tears.

jin doesn’t know why but he feels a certain warmth spread in his chest when he sees you looking so happy, even if it is because he embarrassed himself.

“why didn’t you just talk to me?” you said slightly breathlessly as you leaned back in your seat, a wide grin still on your face and jin felt himself smiling back at you.

“what if you were a ghost?” he retorted and you giggled again, jin was loving every minute of it. there’s nothing more ego boosting than someone you like finding you funny.

“strong point, can’t argue with that.” you lifted your hands in surrender and when you saw him laugh with his ears and cheeks all red, you knew you didn’t deserve whatever this handsome man had to offer.

you couldn’t get attached.

you didn’t deserve to be attached with anyone, especially not this guy who’s been making you laugh and forget about everything, even if it was for five minutes.

“okay, apology accepted, you can leave now.” you curtly nodded, voice devoid of any and all emotion and turned to open your books and jin was baffled because you looked so full of life not even a minute ago.

“you’re not even going to tell me your name?” and you don’t answer, instead staring down at your book even if your mind wasn’t grasping anything so jin shrugged to himself and left you alone even if he really wanted to stay and talk, or make you laugh more because you didn’t always look this happy, at least not in the times he’s seen you.

from then, jin didn’t bother you, of course he still looked your way whenever he could but he never went up to talk to you again and you couldn’t help but feel disappointed even if you were the one who pushed him away. a small solace for you was that you didn’t have to worry about getting attached anymore.

but jin is well, he’s jin and he’s hard to ignore.

so this time, you’re the one who looks up constantly with your pen caught in between your lips, you look up to see the handsome stranger across the room from you (you still don’t know his name) he doesn’t look too far from your age and you could only guess that you both went to the same university, you lean a little and squint your eyes to see any identification and sure enough he had a hoodie draped over the chair next to him and it had your university’s name on it.

how come you have never seen him around?

maybe he didn’t hang out near your block but you move around a lot so it’s puzzling that you have never noticed him before.

maybe he just had a tight circle of friends.

the next time you looked up, you saw him snoozing away with his book open in front of him. his precious highlighters are scattered around his head, he looked cute with his full lips and slightly flushed cheeks. absentmindedly, you gathered your books and sat down in the same table, still maintaining a good distance, not wanting to but looking over to see him every once in a while.

you giggled when his alarm rang and broke the silence in the very quiet, very empty library, so empty that it was only you and him, and a couple at the other end of the library but you were pretty sure they didn’t come here to study. jin snapped his eyes and hastily looked around to make sure no one caught him looking like a fool, only to meet your amused eyes.

and even if you didn’t want to, you started speaking.

“no loud noises in the library, don’t you know that?” you mused and pointed to the huge sign over your head which had the rule written on it in huge letters, a cheeky grin on your face only to laugh once more when he hurriedly bowed to you in apology.

he was still cute. and he was still making it really hard to not like him.

“it’s okay, just try not to sleep here, i can’t imagine the position being any comfortable” you chastised, you know this because once you fell asleep and woke up with such a cramped neck that you couldn’t move it for two days. you watched as his eyes danced over your face, pausing for a second or two and then lifting his eyebrow in a cocky way.

“thanks for the concern” jin smirked your way and you rolled your eyes, of course with a face like that, he was confident and that also made him attractive, it’s been a while since you’ve openly admitted to yourself that someone was attractive.

but it hasn’t been too long since you made the biggest blunder in your life.

you sighed, closing your books and thinking that this was enough studying for you today, not failing to catch jin’s panicked eyes looking at you.

you got up to leave, flinging your bag over your shoulder, and walking away, silently wishing for jin to say something and he didn’t disappoint. he wasn’t going to talk to you but you initiated the conversation this time so he took that as a green light to talk to you.

“wait, what’s your name? i’m jin!” he called after you, now standing in his seat. even from where you stood, his voice was clear as day so he must have been yelling.

“well jin, still no loud noises in the library, remember?” you smirked at him and laughed to yourself when you heard him groan and slump his shoulders.

just like that, you were gone. again.

jin doesn’t remember the last time he’s chased after someone but you looked like you were worth the chase so he brought out the big guns. he put a dent in his weekly budget and bought two expensive coffee infused drinks from the café in front of the library. all while he cursed capitalism, the café itself and even god because why the fuck did he have to pay 30$ for decent coffee?

that day, he kept close watch to the entrance of the library to catch you walk in and you did, looking even better than he remembers. as soon as you sit down in your usual seat, he walks over to you after gathering every bit of confidence left in him and you paused from writing your notes when you saw a shadow on them, looking up to see jin standing there with a nervous smile and two cups in his hands.

and dare you say, your heart fluttered.

“what are you doing jin?” you mused and he hated how much he liked his name rolling off your tongue. he hasn’t liked his name this much before, you just made it sound more beautiful.

“what does it look like? i’m trying to get your name.” and with that, he set a cup in front of you, and you see, it was very tempting to just sit here and get lost in a conversation with jin who seemed more than eager about it but it wasn’t so tempting when you remember your mistakes, you have hurt someone else too much to chat over coffee like this.

“i don’t like coffee.” but you can’t say no to jin.

jin sighs and just as he’s about to grab the cup and leave you, swearing to himself that he won’t return and also convincing himself to just drink the two expensive drinks himself, your voice stutters his movement to a halt.

“but there’s nothing wrong with trying it again, i guess” you sheepishly grab the cup and start sipping, not missing the relieved smile that settles on his lips and you smile back.

one conversation won’t hurt anyone.

-

turns out, jin is a lot more charming when he isn’t picking on your cardigan, and even more handsome up close. you almost choked on your breath when he leaned over the table to wipe an eyelash from your cheek. the coffee was good but you almost forgot to drink it because you were trying to find some, really any flaws in jin’s face, you didn’t find any. you tried to see flaws in his personality, you didn’t see any, or you just painted too pretty of a picture of him in your head but he really hasn’t given you any reason to paint an ugly one.

it was all too cliché. even now, bundled in your sheets, your hand unconsciously strokes where he touched you and warm butterflies fill your chest.

but you shouldn’t feel like this. last time you felt like this, you hurt someone and even if it’s been a few years since that, you don’t have it in you to forgive yourself because you really do think you don’t deserve to be with anyone.

and as much as you like jin, you know that’s it’s only a matter of time before he finds out about what you did and you’re terrified.

jin is the only person who has treated you like you deserved niceness in all these years and in your heart, you know you have to push him away, or either of you will get too comfortable to go.

and the idea of pushing him away only seemed to get harder the more days you spent with him later on, it was like whatever you two had was magnetic. you never told him your name though, masking your fear of him finding about you by just simply teasing him more. you would walk into the library and the first thing you saw was jin’s large grin and two coffee cups in front of him, and just like that, your heart felt lighter and you felt like letting your regrets go.

but regrets don’t just go, they cling to you, and they clung to you even when you dreamed of jin, they also clung to you when you wondered about what he was dreaming of, if it was you like you dreamed of him.

-

“so yeah, i cried to myself at midnight while watching coco instead of finishing my assignment and now, i’m doomed” jin, along with hoseok and jungkook, laughed at taehyung who was furiously typing away on his laptop.

“glad to know you can find joy in my misery.” taehyung clenched his teeth in mock anger and proceeded to anxiously check the time once again. from what he told them, this assignment was 20% of his grade and he was given a month to finish it. taehyung is starting it now.

taehyung is doomed.

magnificently doomed.

“just finish your essay man” jungkook snickered when hoseok shook his head disappointedly at taehyung’s situation. and jungkook also noticed how jin kept looking around the cafeteria instead of laughing with him, his own eyes travelled to where jin was looking and he didn’t know jin found fading posters on their bulletin board interesting but here they were, staring at a particularly moldy piece of paper hanging on for dear life on that board.

“if you want to join knitting club, we won’t judge hyung” hoseok burst into laughter at jungkook’s words, almost spitting his drink out and jin shook off his haze, turning to playfully shove his younger friend off the table. and after flapping hands at each other for a minute and bickering until one of them backed out, jungkook looked a little concerned for jin because jin was never one to zone out or think too much.

“but no, what are you even thinking about?” jin hesitated to speak about you, he really didn’t know a lot about you, he just knew enough to know that he definitely liked you and you spent a lot of time together but you haven’t even told him your name.

and just as he’s thinking about you, he swears that it’s the ghost of you that comes into the cafeteria and you don’t spare a single glance at anyone, walking straight to the vending machine, a couple of eyes turn to look at you and jin misses the way hushed whispers are exchanged as soon as you’re in the room.

jin doesn’t have it in him to walk up to you today, you make him weak in the best way possible and he hasn’t prepared himself to see you in campus. and jungkook notices how jin’s eyes stray towards you, also noticing how he doesn’t look away until you leave the cafeteria.

jungkook knows what’s got his hyung all wind up.

“so, y/n?” jungkook muses, a teasing tone settled in his voice and jin chokes on thin air, he didn’t expect jungkook to know you, let alone know your name.

“you know her name?” he turns to jungkook with wide eyes and jungkook almost laughs at his comical expression, but his humility dies down the second he sees how serious jin looks, he sits up straight and clears his throat. he’s only seen jin serious a handful of times, and he didn’t enjoy any of those incidents.

“of course, i do, everyone does” jungkook shrugs and jin turns to hoseok and taehyung for confirmation. and sure enough, they both nod as well and jin almost lets out a screech at how everyone around him knows you but him.

seeing jin’s panicked expression, a realization dawns on his roommate, hoseok who smirks at his friend proudly after figuring out where exactly he had been disappearing off to these past few nights.

“is she the reason why you have been going to the library every day?”

“nonsense, i just want to get my grades up.” jin nervously utters out as his ears tinge red, he’s never been a good liar and his friends know and they enjoy watching him miserably struggle with his words.

“you haven’t turned in your assignments for two weeks now” hoseok pointed out with a broad, knowing smile on his face.

“are you stalking me?” jin narrows his eyes at his roommate, but his cheeks were definitely red with all the attention of the conversation turned to him.

“hyung, do you really not know anything about her? she literally was all people talked about when i was a freshman” taehyung said, looking up from his laptop for the first time since the past 10 minutes.

“don’t you have an assignment to finish?” jin questioned, raising his eyebrows at taehyung who didn’t seem to care at all.

“i’m failing anyway, i’ve come to terms with it.” taehyung had apparently decided that his luck wouldn’t save him this time and he was just too invested in the conversation they’re having right now to care about the assignment.

“seriously though, i’m still a junior and i know about her, how do you not?” jungkook piped up, looking at jin incredulously and jin sighed, there was no winning for him here.

“fine, she’s the reason i’m going to the library and i do like her a little but she never told me her name so i would very much appreciate it if you told me.” taehyung, jungkook and hoseok looked at each other for a second, silently debating on whether they should tell what they know or not. all while, jin’s eyes danced over the three of them as they continued to stare at each other and after coming to an unspoken agreement that jin indeed needs to know, taehyung finally breaks eye contact with them and looks at jin.

“y/n, she cheated on her boyfriend in her second year.”

jin didn’t know to react.

he imagined a lot of things about you but you didn’t look like a cheater, and he felt betrayed even if he wasn’t involved with you fully. it just felt like everything he knew about you became a blurry mess that he wasn’t sure of anymore.

how many other things have you been hiding from him?

and jin has never been the judgmental kind but cheating, to him, was pretty serious.

“her boyfriend was devasted and he apparently pulled this sympathy card, got everyone to feel bad for him and that made everyone hate her for a while, he was the campus go-lucky guy so when he got all sad, people got defensive and shit, it was a whole thing. from what i know, she lost a lot of friends after that and her now, ex-boyfriend continues to mop around about it, he’s like the typical good guy who got his heart broken so yeah, no one bothers to talk to her anymore.”

so that is why you’re always alone in the library.

-

you didn’t see jin in the library for a while and it confused you, even hurt you a little bit because even if you know you didn’t deserve his presence, he made you feel alive. you missed that feeling of not being an empty void which spoke two words at the most. he actually pulled sentences, paragraphs even from your mouth with little effort. you missed being around people in general but you understood why no one would talk to you.

because you were a cheater.

you broke someone’s heart.

and you knew you fucked up. you knew you fucked up the minute you woke up in someone else’s bed.

you knew you fucked up when you saw the disappointment, anger and then sadness fill your then boyfriends eyes as you told him what happened.

and it didn’t help that he was actually a kind but difficult person to deal with, it didn’t help that you stopped loving him a long time ago, you even doubted if you ever loved him at all.

but those were excuses to anyone who would hear them.

excuses from a cheater.

because cheaters and liars have all the excuses in the world.

that night became a catalyst for the end of your relationship and there was nothing else you needed more, but it felt like you stepped out of a cage only to fall into a hole.

your ex didn’t take the news too well, and word spread around so quick that even your teaching assistants knew about what happened and they shamed you, for your actions, for your underwhelming reactions to any provoking done by anyone because honestly, you felt numb.

you thought college was going to be this fun period in your life that you would enjoy to the fullest, which is why you even moved from home, you were excited to start this new chapter with an open mind and it all crashed down on you before you could embrace it. it all fell apart right in front of you and you couldn’t do anything but watch as your reputation crumbled into fine sand.

and you deserved it. nothing could excuse cheating, not even the shell you called a relationship, not your boyfriend who was actually a good person and didn’t deserve what you gave him, nothing could change that you were exactly what they called you, a cheater.

it took everything in you to not roll your eyes when he went around campus crying to everyone about how you betrayed him and absolutely broke him, and you felt like a horrible person because you were the reason he was hurt. but you didn’t feel anything. you still don’t feel anything.

but there was one emotion that filled you to the brim and tumbled over. one you won’t admit you feel.

regret.

regret filled your every inch with dangerous opacity, regret that you couldn’t love someone as nice as him, regret that you had to hurt someone to move forward, regret that that one night absolutely destroyed everything for you, regret that you’ll only ever be known as a cheater and nothing else in all your college life.

it’s painful to experience the end of something even if you’ve been anticipating it.

you didn’t love your ex-boyfriend but still the end of whatever you were, it killed you just as much as it killed him. there were still nights that you would dream of tracing his features with your hands in the dark while he softly hummed his favorite song to you, there were still days you missed going to the cafeteria with him and just being all wrapped up with him in front of all your friends, there were still days you missed what you were even if it weren’t good for you.

regret rots you from the inside out, slowly kills you but you act like nothing affects you but every whisper, every stare that lasts too long on you, it halts your movements and makes you close your eyes in pure anguish.

“i get that it’s 4 am and no one is actually okay at this time but why do you look like you’re trying to hold in a fart?” jin’s voice broke your daze, your eyes bouncing around to find where he was, only to see him standing to the side of you while holding two cups, and jin thought he was kidding himself when he saw your face momentarily give him a relieved smile.

“just thinking” you replied, voice a little shaky and nervous. and you straightened your posture when you saw jin looking at you with more seriousness in his eyes, none of his usual playfulness or mischief found, his face was blank and not lit up in a smile like it usually was.

did he find out?

the possibility of him finding out about what you did unnerved you a little. and the tension lingered in the air, with both his sour mood and your overactive mind.

“you know, you don’t have to get me this every time, i know these are expensive as fuck” you cheekily said when he slid one of the cups over to you and jin swore, he could’ve kissed you for being so understanding of his thin wallet.

“thank you, i will no longer be getting us drinks from that place, it’s like every time i go there, they increase the prices.” jin complained loudly, an angry pout on his face as he threw his hands around to exaggerate his frustration. and you bit your lip to stop yourself from laughing out loud at his red face. but you felt relieved that he didn’t seem as rigid as he looked when he came in.

“that’s true, they switch up their prices almost weekly besides, we have a coffee machine here in the library, why did you go till there?” jin’s mouth dropped as you said this.

this library had a what now?

“what do you mean, there’s a coffee machine here?”

“yeah, it’s right there, we have three of them actually” you pointed to the opposite side of the room and jin almost cried out in frustration when he saw the brand spanking new coffee machines, all shiny and ready to be used.

“it even makes caramel latte” you added in, just to humor his expression a little more. and his jaw drops further.

so, he almost blew his month’s allowance to get you coffee when there was a perfectly (and free!!) working coffee machine right here?

“great” he pushed his tongue into his cheek to try and conceal the frustration bubbling in him and it took everything in you to not snicker.

“why haven’t you been coming in these days? grades got too good?” you gave him a small smile, only to see that all the tension that dissipated had built back up when his eyes flashed with realization as to why he came here and he straightened himself back to same posture he had when he walked in-rigid and stern.

“i actually wanted to talk you about something” you knew exactly what he was going to ask you about but you settled to hear it from him first, you could already feel your stomach sinking, and you were foolishly hoping he would ask you about the coffee machines again.

“oh yeah? what is it?” you asked with pursed lips while your fingers nervously fiddled with the lid of the coffee cup and jin took a deep breath, contemplating whether to ask you or not but ever the forward person he was, he did.

“i heard a lot about you, just recently actually, i’m pretty sure you know what i’m talking about. but i don’t know how much of it i can believe so i want you to be honest with me and tell me what happened. before we go any further with whatever this is, i want to hear it from you, y/n.”

“so, you got my name?” you delayed answering his question by taking notice of him saying your name for the first time. your name falling out of his mouth made you shiver a little, you swore that no one else could say your name like he did, you ached to hear it from him again and again.

“it was surprising that everyone around me knew but i didn’t.” he shrugged, taking his coffee cup and peering at you from the top, waiting for you to talk.

you see, jin actually thought of never talking to you again, because your situation just felt too messy and he didn’t know if he wanted to get involved.

but then he also felt he was being unfair by not knowing both sides of what happened so what better way to solve his confusion than ask the person who is directly involved?

besides, jin has blown too much money on coffee just to keep talking to you to give up now. and he doesn’t even like coffee.

“you need to be honest with me, i’m not here to intimidate you into talking or whatever, i’m here to listen to your side” and something about the way his eyes softened when he saw your hands shake a little, and then taking your quivering hands in his made you want to tell him.

you wanted to tell him everything with just the pure openness in his eyes and his willingness to hear you out before he concluded something about the situation, it warmed your heart that at least one person wanted to see how you felt instead of calling you names behind your back.

even if you might never see him because he could be disgusted with what you did and what you felt, you told him. you told him what happened, you told him the feeling that pooled in you after that fateful night, the same feeling you wouldn’t even admit to yourself. you even told him how you wouldn’t change anything except someone getting their heart broken because your relationship ended even before you cheated on him.

you told him everything you wouldn’t even whisper into the night.

jin listened to all of it with utmost attention and you even searched his eyes for any signs of judgment but all you saw was kindness.

kindness you didn’t feel like you deserved.

“you know, you keep saying he was hurt but from what you said, you were hurt just as much.” jin was right. but you didn’t reply because you were scared of admitting that if it broke his heart, it had broken you all over.

you were just as hurt over what happened as your ex-boyfriend but you felt like you didn’t deserve to feel pain when you inflicted it. but pain is a two-edged sword, you felt the same pain just in a different way. it was still pain, it was still you crying every night because you had no one to wish you good night except your parents, it was still you avoiding going into the cafeteria just to avoid the way everyone looked at you, your pain was still pain.

and no one but jin understood that.

“do you regret it?” he finally asked, pushing his cup away and looking at you pointedly.

“i regret cheating on him, not the breakup” you replied honestly, gulping a little and he hummed.

there was a tense pause in the air as you warily eyed him for any reaction but he didn’t give you any, keeping a stoic face and you felt like you couldn’t breath with how silent everything got, thankfully he gave your heart a break by speaking again.

“that’s fair enough. next time, let’s just get the coffee here.” he ended his sentence with a gentle smile which almost made you cry out of happiness because he didn’t run away.

he listened to the worst of you and stayed.

and you clung to his words ‘next time’ more than you thought you would.

-

jin meant what he said, he understood you were having a hard time too and he assumed alienation at college would be pretty harsh considering almost everyone knows everyone on campus. it must have been hard for you when everyone knew about your worst mistake and talked about it like it was teatime gossip.

but jin’s met tons of people in their worst moments, he’s learned to appreciate and admire the strength that individuals have to overcome shit instead of judging them for it.

he met jungkook when he seemingly had no aim and was just a lost young boy who was temperamental or sometimes too shy, he met hoseok when he was going through a rough breakup and was still trying to find himself, he found taehyung when he was a lot sterner and lacked understanding of others. and all his friends have been through their own shit, jin’s been through his fair share of shit too, he’s seen all of them and himself grow into who they are today and he’s proud of them and him too.

but jin knows you’ve already grown through the experience, now you just need to heal and be accepted again, and if no one else does that, he will. not because he was a hero or something, he just felt he couldn’t miss out on knowing someone like you just because you made one mistake.

jin didn’t give a shit about hushed whispers or the weird you would sometimes get when you held his hand, he could hear them calling him a fool for being with you but again, jin was determined to give you a chance for yourself and he wasn’t going to back down.

his unshaking faith in you made you believe in yourself too, he introduced you to his friends who were just as welcoming as he was. he felt his heart warm when you held his hand tighter each time someone would start a conversation with you, like you still needed him even with all those people around, jin felt like he could die a happy man, it didn’t take you long before you got comfortable around people again. 

jin couldn’t be prouder.

even right now, the library is still your favorite place, even after several days of spending time with each other, jin couldn’t deny how much more lively and confident you looked as you sat in front of him. this time with coffee made from the library machines near your hands and jin almost leaps from his seat when you look like you're going to knock them over, you don’t even notice how his hands reach out and hold the cup still, instead just going back to write on your brightly colored flash cards (you have taken a liking to bright stationery because of him, you’ve even gone on dates to stationery stores just for the heck of it.)

jin feels endeared and lets out a light chuckle, because you look very cute with your eyebrows scrunched, lips in a slight pout as you furiously jot down points, your hair ever so slightly falls on your face, you just seem so into your own world and like you’ve tuned out everyone else.

but he also frowns at the realization that you’ve probably gotten used to not having anyone around and tuning out everyone was the easiest way you could deal with being alone. he knows that feeling creeps back in you even if you are doing better now.

so, he picks up his books and bag in a hurry making you look up at him with widened eyes, and just as you are about to ask him where he’s going, he seats himself right beside you.

he’s determined to never make you feel lonely again.

he’s also determined to prove to you that it's okay too feel everything you do, be it pain, be it happiness.

he feels like he’s in love? he feels exactly like what they’ve been calling him, a fool.

a fool in love to be more specific, a fool because just by sitting there, you make him want to fight the world for you.

and jin is okay with being a fool. he’s okay with being a fool for you.

so close - m.yg.

genre: major angst, fluff, second chance romance (13.5k)

summary: words are not enough for people who are so close and so in love, or a fic in which yoongi loses you but will do everything in his power to win you back.

note: writing after so long felt liberating, i hope you feel through my words.

this one is dedicated to my soulmate, @hopefuldreamlove​

masterlist 

“you know what? i’m done, i’m fucking done with your nonsense, i hope this stupid roof falls on your head!” your screams bounced off the walls loudly as you dragged your bags to the front door, you no longer recognized yourself.

when had it become this bad?

“i hope so too, at least that way i don’t have to hear you scream like a banshee on drugs, just get the fuck out already” yoongi huffs as he matches your vicious tone, but his chest tugs at him, begging him to move and stop you before it was too late, before you actually left and never came back. but his pride was stronger, he wasn’t going to beg you to stay, he was stubborn enough to pretend this didn’t affect him at all.

you don’t respond or even turn back to look at him one last time, you slam the door and trudge your luggage impatiently to the elevator.

yoongi couldn’t move, he watched the front door with pursed lips, he couldn’t believe that after all this time, this was how you two were going down.

he should’ve stopped you; he shakes his head at himself, he shouldn’t have even let the fight get so far, he should’ve stopped the second your voice wavered with unshed tears halfway through the argument but he didn’t, he waited for those tears to turn into simmering anger and yoongi didn’t do anything to make you stay. as always.

that was why you fought in the first place because yoongi had seemingly given up on putting any effort into your relationship.

halfway through the parking lot, you pulled your suitcases behind you with heavy steps, letting out puffs of breath with furrowed eyebrows, and then you paused. your heel stuttering as you narrowed your eyes, your hands loosened around the handles of your bags.

why should you leave?

you both were still owners of that apartment, both of you paid the rent and if you left now, you don’t even have a place to stay and you didn’t want to inconvenience your friends because yoongi was being an asshole, you also didn’t want to go through the trouble of finding a new apartment when you had a perfectly available one right above you (with three bedrooms!).

you smiled wickedly, if yoongi thought he was getting rid of you this easily, he was dead wrong because now, you were determined to make his life hell by living right next to his door and doing everything you could to make him uncomfortable.

yoongi didn’t hate a lot of things, but his personal space was always important to him and you were determined to make that space as worse as it could get and if he had a problem, he could always leave and find another place, he had the money to buy another apartment anyway.

with that happy revenge plan, you walked back to the elevator with a bounce on your step, you couldn’t wait to make yoongi’s life miserable.

yoongi, on the other hand, had been watching the clock since you walked away, it took every fiber of his pride to keep himself on that couch and not run after you but eventually, he knew that he needed you, he couldn’t ignore his sinking chest forever, so he ran to get his car keys, begging and praying silently that you hadn’t gone too far.

he reached for his phone as he made his way to the door, already texting your friends to see if you had gone to them.

imagine his surprise when you slam the door open just as his hand moves towards the door handle, he jumps back with a pounding heart and a rush of emotions fills him.

a mix of relief, remnants of his previous frustration, pure joy, and cockiness fill him as he sees you back in your home, his hands almost grab you into a hug but instead clench into fists and tighten beside his body.

“missed me already?” his lips curl into a smirk and your glare hardens, but you give him the sweetest smile in return, and yoongi’s eyebrows scrunch in confusion.

you looked furious when you left so, yoongi didn’t understand the smile on your face even if his heart jumped at the smile he hadn’t seen for a while now.

“don’t flatter yourself, min yoongi, i’m not back for you, i’m back for my apartment” you sing to him as you purposefully shove his shoulder on your way in, even running your suitcase on his toes accidentally as you walk past.

he winces and curls to grab his stinging foot, “what the fuck is wrong with you?” yoongi growls, any idea of needing you had left him swiftly as his anger returned with a vengeance.

“oops, sorry, didn’t see your foot there” you tried not to snicker as you said but you still had that shit-eating grin on your face and yoongi huffed, annoyance filling his every crevice.

“okay, what are you doing back here? i clearly remember you hoping that this roof falls on my head, did you come back for it to fall on yours too?” yoongi followed you as you walked to the guest bedroom, his footsteps speeding up to catch your pace but you remained one step ahead.

“you mean, what am i doing in my house? i don’t know yoongi, what do people do in their houses?” your voice was sickeningly sweet and yoongi ran a hand across his face in exasperation, “this is our house, can you stop being sarcastic for one minute and give me a straight answer?”

“as far as i remember and you are free to correct me, both of our names are on the lease, making both of us rightful owners, why would i go anywhere else when i have a home right here?” you level your glare with him as he stares back with an unreadable expression, “are you doing this just to be petty?” yoongi thought you had come back for him but now knowing that you didn’t, filled his chest with a bitter, ugly feeling.

“i have no idea what you are talking about, i am just choosing to live in my house” you shrug your shoulders as you put your clothes into the guest room’s closet, yoongi looks away with furrowed eyebrows, “stop calling it your house, it is our house” your hand paused at the longing in his voice but remembering all the nights you went to bed crying because of him, pushed you to just keep arranging your things.

“it is mine and yours, not ours,” you concluded and yoongi tried to shake off how heavy your words made him feel, “besides, i won’t even be bothering you anymore, think of us as roommates and nothing more until i find a new place.”

“roommates?”

“roommates.”

“you are going to find a new place?” yoongi asks, shifting on his feet, it was strange to see you occupying a different part of the house.

“of course, why would i stay here with you for longer than required?” you planned to just ruin his life for a little while and then leave to a place where you could finally breathe.

you just staying here would ruin it enough, you thought.

“you shouldn’t even be staying here right now” he bit back, masking the ache in his heart with insults he normally wouldn’t even think of uttering but that confirmed it for you that your decision to stay bothered him and that satiated your petty heart.

“if you have a problem with me staying, you can leave and find a new place” you gave him a large, sarcastic grin and yoongi’s eyes further narrowed on you. “i don’t give a fuck about you staying or leaving, just stay out of my way” yoongi mumbled and slammed the guest door shut.

you rolled your eyes as you continued shoving your belongings in place, you couldn’t wait for this lease to be over, just as much as he did.

-

the lease was supposed to be renewed after three months and you were hoping to find a place by then because as much as you taunted yoongi, you were planning to move out the next chance you get because you couldn’t stay around him and hate yourself for liking him still.

you spent the first two weeks, mostly staying out of home, you couldn’t stand seeing him working all day, even at home. that was why you two had fought and ultimately broken up over, and as much as you hated to admit it, you were hurt that he didn’t even try to change his ways.

your eyes glared at the eggs sizzling in the pan sitting in front of you as your hands tightened impossibly around the spatula you held.

were you supposed to cook eggs with a spatula?

were the eggs supposed to look that dark in color?

was whatever you’re holding, even a spatula?

your head tilted in confusion as you tried to rake your brain for things you learned from cooking shows and let out a sigh of frustration as the eggs you flipped had smoke coming out of them.

you never had to worry about cooking, as busy as yoongi got, he always made sure you at least had leftovers to heat up before he left for work but you would rather plunge yourself on a bed of legos than ask him to make your food.

besides, you could do this yourself, you have done much more difficult things than this in life, a couple of eggs and bread weren’t going to be that hard.

“are you seriously using a scooper?” you heard a low, groggy voice from across the room and you sucked in a breath, face heating up in embarrassment.

so, you weren’t using a spatula after all.

you stiffly nodded and yoongi snickered, “if you need a ride to the hospital after eating whatever you made, i will be happy to take you.”

you turned around with an annoyed huff, “as if you have time for anything besides being holed up in your studio, i will die before you even come and get me.” yoongi’s jaw tightened as you pointed your spatula (scooper) at him, and then, he released a long breath as another grin graced his face, “so, you agree? you agree that you will end up in the hospital after eating this?”

“even if i do, i don’t see how it’s any of your goddamn business, min yoongi, just make your fucking breakfast and don’t be such an insufferable roommate” maybe your words were harsher than needed, but you couldn’t stand being around him and not hurt him, as he had hurt you over the course of the past few weeks.

yoongi didn’t retaliate which only made you feel worse, but you held your chin high in defiance of your own guilt as he did exactly as you told, he kept quiet and made his breakfast.

and of course, he made a huge spread of everything from bagels to smoothies to chocolate pancakes, he put them right in front of you as he sat on the opposite side of the long island table as you stared down at your burnt eggs and bread with a clenched jaw.

for yoongi, work could wait right now but annoying you couldn’t.

“i hope you enjoy your breakfast, y/n, if you can call it that” yoongi gave you his brightest smile yet, the stretch on his face covering the otherwise sarcastic tone “because i know i will enjoy mine” he finished by shoving a forkful of the cream cheese and chicken bagel that he knows is your favorite. he knows how much you loved it when he made it for you after a night full of love and attention.

you glare at him with annoyance crawling up your arms and legs as he lets out a moan of approval at the bite, obviously putting on a show to piss you off more, your mouth waters involuntarily as he chews slowly with nods and loud hums of satisfaction but what finally drives you mad, is when he lifts his head from eating and gives you a cheeky wink.

your hands gripping the table's edge turn white as you forcedly push your body away from the table, abandoning your sad excuse of breakfast and stomping out of the room.

you hate that you can hear yoongi’s sinister laughter even after you slam your door shut.

-

this is what continues for you both, you accidentally unplug his computers, he accidentally drops juice on you right before you go to work, you accidentally break his speakers, and he accidentally puts your night plushie in the washing machine and reduces it to nothing but a shapeless fluff. the cycle continues, both of you determined to not let the other breathe peacefully, every night you slept while making a plan to destroy his day, and every morning you woke up to execute it.

it was childish, immature but it gave you the satisfaction you craved. seeing his usually passive face become irritated or waking up to his screams of frustration and curses filled you to the brim with joy.

you did start to question why you enjoyed it so much though, sure you wanted to give him hell but the whole process of planning it wasn’t what made you satisfied, it was purely his reaction to it.

“you just want his attention again” your dear friend, jennie, mutters as she glares at you while sipping her bubble tea. you immediately scoff at her; she had no idea what she was talking about.

“no, i want him to suffer” you correct her and she shakes her head at you, putting her drink down and leaning forward with furrowed eyebrows. “i worry about you, you know.”

“why? i’m perfectly fine” you shrug because you don’t see anything that she needs to worry about, you are moving on, you are making yoongi suffer like you wanted to, your work performance is still intact, and everything was smooth sailing. “no, you are not. i thought it was weird that you wanted to stay in the same house as your ex, but i didn’t say anything because you were in a sensitive place then. now, you have to admit that you are delaying staying away from him.”

“i’m staying in a house that i own and that i am paying rent for, it has nothing to do with min yoongi.” you jab a finger on the table as irritation fills you, but you also feel embarrassed? humiliation crawls on your insides as you try to maintain a passive face. jennie’s face softens and she reaches out for your hand, “i know how much he hurt you, don’t punish yourself by thinking you have to prove to anyone that you want to hurt him as he did you. your pain doesn’t need justification.”

-

you couldn’t sleep that night, all you could think of was jennie’s face as she uttered those words, her gentle hands keeping you anchored to the real world, the world where min yoongi shredded you to pieces without caring or knowing about it. before you know it, you feel tears escape down the side of your eyes and your hand shakily reaches out to muffle your sobs.

why couldn’t you just stop caring?

why couldn’t you up and leave?

what kept you tethered to a relationship that was void before you ever called it off?

and why couldn’t you just fucking stop crying?

you wanted to let your hand go, so yoongi can listen to your wails, to what he’s done to you, the damage he’s caused, the broken pieces that you struggle to pick up, maybe in some sick way, you want him to come and wipe your tears away, maybe you just want him to show up this once, to make up for all the months he didn’t. but you don’t let it go, you hold it tighter against your face because as much as you want him to know, you can’t. you can’t have him find out that your tears were because and for him.

-

you didn’t have to justify your pain but you did have to prove that you were moving on, so against jennie’s and all your friend’s better judgment, you decided a date night would just be enough to prove that you didn’t care about yoongi or whatever you had with him anymore.

you hummed lightly as you got your favorite dress out, it had an open back and whenever you wore it, yoongi couldn’t stop touchin-

this isn’t about him.

you huff in annoyance at your own thoughts as you lay your dress down on the bed, you are not thinking about him, not today and not ever, today is only about your date, you are going to have a good time, get lightly tipsy, and maybe even have a full-blown make out session if you get drunk enough for it and you will not think of yoongi at all.

you took a deep breath in as you started doing your makeup.

how long has it been since you got ready for a date? at least, a date that didn’t get canceled as soon as you were ready. your makeup brush slows in your hand as your heart starts feeling heavy again. you didn’t bother getting ready for anything if it was not with yoongi even when he canceled, even when he pleaded with you that he would be there and left you hanging.

you gave such little regard for yourself and you feel angry that you didn’t put yourself first, that you didn’t fight him right then and there, you feel irritated that you quenched your needs for as long as he made you wait.

 you start getting ready with more aggression after that, you were definitely going to put yourself first now, yoongi gets none of you. you don’t need him for anything anymore.

except for maybe one thing.

you stand in front of the mirror with a scowl, your arms awkwardly bent to try and zip your dress up but your fingers are just out of reach for it, you start to hop awkwardly hoping that somehow hopping around will magically zip your dress up and start to groan in frustration.

“are you auditioning to be a kangaroo?”

you pause with gritted teeth at his amused voice coming from the doorway that you didn’t realize was wide open all this time.

this can’t be happening right now.

“can you fuck off?”

“and you will go out with your zip wide open, got it, i will be taking my leave.” He snickers and starts to head out, only to pause when a whine comes up your throat, you bite your lip to swallow your pride because you don’t want to ask him, but you have no choice.

“yoongi, can y-“

“can i?” he turns around in a flash, leaning against the doorway with a smirk on his face, that you want to slap off.

“can you zip my dress up?” you mumble out in a rush and shift your feet to face him with half your body. yoongi whistles, looking away, acting like he didn’t hear you at all, and your eyes drop into a glare, you can already feel your irritation crawling up your skin.

“you heard me, stop acting like a kid.” you scowl at him as you stomp your foot.

“i did but a ‘please’ would be nice, you know, zipping a dress is tough work and i can’t just hand it out for free.” he was enjoying this way too much but his heart was dipping continuously as he kept looking at you from the corner of his eye.

when was the last time he saw you, all dressed up?

why can’t he remember the last time he took you out?

why can’t he remember the last time he fell asleep and woke up with you?

he clears his throat loudly as he makes his way across the room, your glare stays on yoongi as he approaches you but you don’t miss how his eyes stay downward as he walks with slow steps. you tilt your head in confusion as you push your hair to the side, to let him zip you up.

but he never does.

he stands behind you, looking in the mirror as you hold your hair up, he looks at you through the mirror, and your eyes meet his.

yoongi doesn’t look away.

you don’t look away.

your zip is long but forgotten.

and suddenly, you feel like the room is running out of air for you to breathe in.

you hadn’t been this close to yoongi in so long.

you can’t tell if he’s thinking the same thing, you can’t tell if he’s finding it hard to find air right now too, you can’t tell if his heart is beating as loudly as yours.

but sorrow fills you because, in all these months, yoongi has come this close to you, only to zip the dress that you’re wearing on a date with someone else.

“yoongi.” you whisper, so quietly, so delicately, as if you can’t bear to utter his name but you have to.

“right, zip.” he shakes his head at himself, quickly looking downwards and his hand’s ghost on the skin exposed to him, yoongi is suddenly unsure if he can zip you up or not, he’s unsure if his hands will let him only zip you up, he’s unsure of where that would lead to.

“where are you headed to?” yoongi tries to sound casual as clears his throat and his fingers finally catch the small zip at the dip of your dress, he takes his sweet time dragging it up, his eyes savoring every inch of skin he hasn’t touched.

you hesitate, you don’t want to tell him. actually, maybe you do, maybe you wanted him to know before but after the shift in the very air around you, it feels wrong. “a date.” your answer leaves you in a choke, just as he finishes pulling the zip all the way to the top.

he removes his hands from you like he’s been stung, and he steps back, yoongi doesn’t even breathe as he stands unmoving.

air rushes in your lungs once you notice the conflict in yoongi’s eyes, once you recognize the conflict forming a knot in your stomach and even air seems like too much for you.

the moment is over and you can feel your defenses climbing up too.

you are ready to fight him, you are ready to argue that you both were done, and that what you do with your time is none of his business and it never will be, and that you can kiss, fuck, do whatever you want with whomever you want.

because you two were done.

because you two were done.

that statement didn’t feel real until this second. something about the statement felt like the most incorrect thing in the world to yoongi.

but he won’t say it.

he won’t hurt you anymore.

he can’t hurt you anymore.

“have fun.” his words are low, and curt and they fall into the silence around you both in a loud thud as yoongi quickly walks out of the room.

you are left in your dress, with a date you were going to be late to and a heart so heavy, you feel that you will drop it at your doorstep before heading out.

-

“isn’t that so exciting?” your date beams at you.

he’s cute, well accomplished from what you’re told and he seems interested in you.

you wish you could say the same.

but all your responses to him have been one-line sentences and tight smiles.

along with your pre-existing obsessive thoughts of yoongi and that goddamn zip, guilt bleeds into your system and so does dread.

guilt, because your date is as good as dates come, and he already mentioned that he would be more than willing to take time out for you and that he will be available whenever you want, that the next date will be whenever you are comfortable.

which should excite you.

which should delight you.

it should make you the happiest person in the world that he’s so openly giving you his time even if you are meeting him for the first time, it should make you the happiest that he seems enamored by you, that he wants to know so much about you. your friend had mentioned that this guy had been asking about you for a while and that when she asked, he had jumped in joy at the idea of going on a date with you, this should make you happy.

but it doesn’t, it sits bitterly in your mouth that it doesn’t make you feel a single thing.

you felt a million more flutters, kicks, and tingles in that one-minute yoongi zipped your dress up than you have for the past hour sitting opposite to your date.

dread also, slowly but surely, starts to consume you from the inside out. it scares you that maybe you will never feel all of that with another person, that you have somehow run out of sensation when it comes to someone else, it scares you that this might be forever, that you will never truly move on, that you can ever only pretend to move on.

maybe if someone else touches you.

maybe if someone else feels you.

maybe you have a chance of forgetting the ghost that yoongi left on your skin, maybe if someone else kisses you, you will be able to forget how his lips felt.

maybe if someone else could be exactly like yoongi but not like yoongi at the same time, you can survive this.

there’s no one like yoongi.

and you can’t do this anymore.

you stand up abruptly, your mind too loud to let you sit and listen to one more word that didn’t come from yoongi. your date sits up alarmed, quickly reaching for your hand to ask you what was wrong, to check up on you.

he is touching you.

his hands grip your fingers tightly.

he won’t let go until you do.

there is security in his touch.

but.

nothing.

you feel nothing.

your breathing stills at the realization.

your body doesn’t even bother with his hands on yours, it doesn’t even register that a person is holding your hand, asking if you’re okay. your body hates you.

before you know it, you are rushing out a half-assed apology and running out of the restaurant leaving your date confused and hurt.

you wish you could turn back and tell him you felt the same.

you were confused and hurt too, just for someone else.

-

a defeated weight held your head down as you walk back to your home.

the home that you share with your ex.

if you were in a better mood, you would maybe laugh at the situation you’ve put yourself in, maybe laugh at how ridiculous all of this is but you can’t bring yourself to even walk without feeling like the world was crashing on you.

yoongi heard your footsteps out in the corridor and he jumps back from the door he had pressed his ear against, running to the couch before you reach the doorknob. and just as the door clicks open, he snuggles himself into the blanket on the couch and evens his breath to pretend like he’s just casually fallen asleep on the sofa with a movie playing.

he wasn’t pacing by the front door a million times, trying to listen in to when you would come back.

he wasn’t going to reach for his car keys and come to find you.

and yoongi definitely didn’t feel the jealousy burning in his throat since the second you walked out for a date with someone else.

yoongi hears a thud and opens his eyes to the smallest amount he can see.

and he sees you.

that dress still takes his breath away.

but he can hear your breathing too.

it’s uneven, rough, and too quick, just like how it always is when you feel overwhelmed or frustrated.

yoongi stiffens in his position, both concern and anger filling him and the blanket slips from his shoulder a little.

was it because of your date?

did he do something to you?

were you alright?

his heart thumps uncomfortably as your step near his figure, he doesn’t know if you can tell that he’s pretending or not.

then you sit right by where he’s laid, on the floor, another defeated sigh leaving your lips, and yoongi wonders of the ways he could kill your date for making you like this.

little did he know, it was because of him.

“i can’t do it, yoongi” you whisper, seemingly to no one even if you use his name like you don’t want him to hear and yoongi confirms that you believe his act.

“i can’t seem to move on” a sad and tired chuckle follows that sentence and yoongi’s skin burns underneath the blanket, he’s never heard you this way. “and i know you have, i know you moved on a long time, long before we ever broke up but i can’t. even if you have, i can’t.” tears build in your eyes as you try to blink them away, you felt ridiculous, talking to him when he was asleep.

but you couldn’t help it, there was so much you wanted to say but you never got the chance to.

“i can’t hate you for moving on, but i can hate our situation for making it so hard for me to move on, i can hate myself for ever loving you, i can hate a lot of things” you nod to yourself, yoongi’s fists curl on his chest, if only he could throw the blanket away and take you in his arms. if only it was that easy.

“i can’t hate you, i can never hate you” you finish, your head falls with the weight of every thought you had.

if only you could tell him this when he wasn’t sleeping, if only he made it easier for you to say it to him.

yoongi’s lips purse, out of all the things he thought you would end the sentence with, that wasn’t one of them.

he was prepared for you to insult him in the vilest way possible.

he was prepared for you to blame him; he was prepared to take the blame.

but he wasn’t prepared for what you said or how you said it.

he wasn’t prepared for the sad kind of joy that filled his heart.

his joy was a paradox, too many faces for him to feel it at all.

you got up, turning the television off and pausing to look at him before you disappeared into your room and prepared yourself for yet another day of pretending to hate him.

yoongi could feel the weight of your gaze on him. he foolishly wonders if his hair is looking okay today, if the pajamas he chose today looked good on him, if he was looking presentable.

he can’t help it, you are standing in your prettiest dress and yoongi knows no one can be more beautiful than you, in that dress, in any dress, or in nothing at all. he only wants to be worthy of you.

then you do something that makes yoongi choke back a long breath.

you tuck his blanket back in place and your hands make quick work to cover his ears sufficiently.

it’s a simple action but it makes yoongi feel everything he did for you when he confessed his crush to you all those years ago.

then you step back and pad away quickly to your room and once your door falls shut, yoongi sits up immediately, breathing heavily.

he buries his head in his hands as frustration and something so similar to grief run through him in waves.

was he really stupid enough to let you go?

why did he feel regret now, when everything was concluded?

why did you have to tell him all of that?

his heart ached, his fingers ached, all of it was for you. and he looks at your door longingly.

you were wrong, yoongi thought. yoongi would die before he ever moved on from you.

and he never really let up a chance to prove you wrong.

at your door, his hand pauses in the middle of knocking when he hears your sobs on the other side.

if someone ripped his heart out, it would probably hurt less than this.

how badly he wanted to break down the door and hug you until your tears became his.

how badly he wished to caress your hair until you fell asleep.

how badly he wished you would fall asleep in his arms.

how badly he wished, against his awareness of the selfish nature of his wish, to see you in that dress one last time.

yoongi could open the door, he could do all of this, he could grant himself everything he wishes for but the door wasn’t the only barrier between you two and he became painfully aware of all the invisible barriers you both held up now.

he can’t just leave and come back when he wants, it wasn’t fair on you.

so, yoongi, regretfully and slowly, takes a step back and disappears into his studio where he catches no sleep.

but hey, he could at least finish a song that night.

that night, yoongi knew he was lying to himself if he said that he didn’t love you anymore. but he was also on thin ice with you, yoongi was going to try his best to stay on the surface.

this would be the last song he would make for a while, he had more important things on his checklist.

-

the smell of-

was that cream cheese?

your groggy, half-asleep mind somehow registers the waft of bagels and cream cheese in the air, which is enough to pull yourself out of bed.

with tangled hair and puffy eyes, you pad into the kitchen with a narrowed gaze.

of course, it’s yoongi.

you glare at his back which moves constantly to put together a cream cheese and chicken bagel which was, as mentioned, your favorite. usually, you would appreciate this view, usually, you would go give him a back-hug as he cooked for you but you knew it wasn’t for you.

“do you have to torture me like this?” you whine out, and yoongi snickers, his apron tightening around his waist as he turns around to look at you, “good morning to you too, you look bright as ever this morning” he gives you his best smile and you return a sarcastic one.

despite his aloof attitude, yoongi was trembling on the inside because he knows there is no single right way to win you back, he would have to earn it, and he would have to work on it every single day.

but if it was going to take forever to win you back, yoongi would try forever.

you buried your pounding head in your hands as you took a seat at the table, wondering how you were going to cook for yourself again without accidentally setting something or yourself on fire.

then, a glass of water with advil comes into view and you look up to see yoongi immediately backing away to work on breakfast again.

“are you trying to drug me?”

“is it working?”

you can’t help the small smile forming at his amused tone, but you don’t say anything which makes yoongi sigh in failing irritation. “come on, it’s just advil. you don’t need me to drug you, you do that with your cooking every day.”

“geez, thanks for reminding me i’m not freaking gordon ramsay in the kitchen” you continue his banter, somehow, you’re in a good mood even after how terribly last night ended. you go mute when he places a plate filled with your favorite bagel, an omelet, bacon, and even mini jam sandwiches in it.

you just stare at the plate before dragging your gaze to yoongi who turns away once again, this time with a dust of pink on his full cheeks that you catch.

“your side of the table is that way” you point to the opposite side, albeit regretfully because it’s been a while since you have had a proper, not-burnt breakfast, but he must have mistakenly placed this beautiful plate of food in front of you.

it has to be a mistake.

there’s no other reason for yoongi to feed you.

but oh, yoongi’s just so full of surprises.

“that one’s for you.” he shrugs casually as if it was normal to make you breakfast, after he’s only eaten it in front of you for a few weeks.

“what?”

“do you have hearing problems?”

“do you have mental problems?”

“yeah, but a dining table is hardly an appropriate place to discuss those, don’t you think?” maybe it was his flat tone as he said, indicative of his sense of humor, maybe you were just in a more fantastic mood than you had anticipated.

but you burst out laughing. you couldn’t help it; your laughter took over your entire system.

you can’t remember the last time you laughed like that.

yoongi had always managed to make you laugh or smile; this magical ability made you fall for him hard and fast, and after a rough day, he was the reason you at least slept peacefully, when you were together.

when you were together.

right, that wasn’t you two anymore.

that realization slows your laughter to a hesitant chuckle, yoongi wishes he didn’t notice that shift.

"don’t try to cook ever again if you want this roof over our head.” he jokes again as he sits down on his side of the table, suddenly the table seems too long to him and he hopes you’ll laugh again.

"are you saying you'll kick me out?" you dramatically gasp at him with an undeniable smile on your face.

it’s all right, yoongi will take a smile too.

"I’m saying you'll burn it down.” he continues with a playful whine that has you giggling again, swinging your legs under the table, a true indicator of your happiness in that minute which yoongi doesn’t miss.

“don’t you have work today?” you ask, finally digging into your food as yoongi does to his.

god, that’s good.

you swear his hands are magic.

“i took the day off” yoongi shrugs again, the second time he’s shrugging over things that aren’t half as casual as he makes them seem.

as long as you know, yoongi only ever took one day off, which was on your first anniversary.

he was always late to the other anniversaries.

you try not to think of that now, especially when both of you were in a civil mood.

“why, are you sick or something?” though concern fills you, you don’t let it show as you stuff your mouth.

“nope, just like that.” you hum in reply with poorly contained surprise.

“i don’t have work today either.” you don’t know why you tell him but you do.

“i know.”

“okay.”

“okay.”

you feel embarrassed at the disappointment that filled you when he didn’t say anything about it, what did you expect he was going to do, ask you for a date? if he wanted to, he would have done it when you were together.

“do you want to watch a movie?”

you almost drop your fork.

yoongi is surely full of surprises because you don’t even process his request for a second.

“what?”

“do you really have hearing problems?”

“no, i just didn’t quite catch what you said. are you asking me to watch a movie with you?” you repeat his words in disbelief, the plate of food that you loved so much, completely forgotten on the table.

“yes, that is what i said.” he confirms and you tilt your head in suspicion that yoongi notices too quickly which causes him to rush out, “as roommates.” it pains him to say it but he can’t come up with anything else to convince you.

“as roommates?” your confusion only grows.

“as roommates.”

“but why?” you can’t help but ask.

“just think of it as me trying not to be an insufferable roommate” he offers his explanation and in theory, in practicality, it makes perfect sense.

but both of you know it’s not that simple.

nevertheless, you don’t pry anymore.

yoongi’s shoulders fall in defeat when you don’t agree or deny, he just watches you continue to eat his food with furrowed eyebrows.

he took it too far, he should’ve stopped with breakfast today and tried to convince you to a movie another day, when you’ve warmed up more to him. you are probably still stuck in whatever happened last night and want your space.

“there’s this new horror one i saw on instagram the other day, i must have the link somewhere, i’ll put it on in a bit.” you look away with heated cheeks as you struggle to swallow your food.

oh.

you just agreed to the movie.

yoongi believes he could fly.

-

“man, this is not as scary as everyone said it was” you complain through a mouthful of popcorn, and yoongi nods in agreement, stuffing his face with a handful of popcorn too.

“by the way” yoongi sits up after hours of slouching on the couch and you signal for him to continue. “how did your date go yesterday?” he mutters, as casually as he could, reaching for more popcorn to avoid the tension surrounding the question.

last night comes back in flashes, your cute date, running away from the cute date, coming home to yoongi and confessing you would never get over him, covering him with a blanket and crying yourself to sleep.

shit, did he hear you?

“it went well, i came home pretty late though.” the lie tumbles out of you in lack of a better response.

yoongi knows you’re lying but he’s happy to play along with you because last night did a number on him too.

“glad to know it went well. i wouldn’t know when you came, i fell asleep watching some documentary” he munches on his popcorn loudly, he misses the error in his lie.

he wasn’t watching a documentary.

he was watching ‘finding nemo’.

and you know that because you were the one who shut the tv off.

you know that he’s lying. but instead of confronting him about that and that possibly leading to a conversation about what you uttered into the night, thinking he was asleep, wasn’t a risk you were willing to take.

“right, i did see you asleep.”

and i poured my heart out, right next to you.

yoongi in unaware his lie is caught; you prefer that he stays unaware. because if anything you said last night is what prompted him to act the way he did today, you are glad it didn’t all go to waste.

“we should sleep” he slouches back on the couch, too close to you, he’s hyperaware of your arms pressing against his but now that he’s already fallen back, he can’t quite get up as easily anymore.

he doesn’t want to get up.

“we should.” you agree.

neither of you moves a single inch.

laughter explodes into the room at that, both of your heads falling to the side to look at each other with squinted eyes full of happiness.

but when the laughter dies down and you are left to catch your breath, you are suddenly too aware of yoongi’s face being so close to yours, you don’t move away.

yoongi knows you know that you two are far too close.

he doesn’t move away either.

you start to lean in, your body is on autopilot as your hands sneak up to sit on the top of his knee, yoongi shudders from your touch.

how long had he gone without it?

how had he survived for so long?

how did his heart continue to beat without yours in his hands?

he panics internally as his hands come up to grab onto the sides of your face, like he won’t let go, like letting you go once was enough pain for him.

and when your lips touch, every bit of control you had left on your body evaporates into the air around you, you are grabbing his hair, and he is pulling you closer, and not once do you stop to take a breath.

because you know that when this moment is over, both of you won’t speak a word about it.

you can’t remember the last time yoongi kissed you this way, like his hands would disappear if they weren’t holding you, like his entire life purpose was to take your breath away and never give it back, like every part of him had been aching to do this.

and then it does end, painfully, too slowly, you pull away before your chest burns away, he pulls away because he has to.

you were right.

you don’t speak a word about it.

-

there was no ‘good night’ after that, there was no ‘see you later’, there was nothing left in that moment except the hope stored away in yoongi’s eyes. you pretend you don’t notice it as you, once again, eat the food he makes you in the morning.

yoongi knows he has to say sorry though, he hadn’t planned on that happening, he was just another lucky idiot that night, he was aware enough to know it wasn’t right for two to do that even if you’ve been together for years.

things were different and yoongi always hated change but he had to overcome this change instead of walking away from it, if he wanted to even dream of having you back.

so, he is the one who starts the uncomfortable conversation that you’d been anxiously waiting for.

“about last night-“

“you don’t have to worry about it.” you answer, as quick as lighting, and you even surprise yourself with your speed.

“oh?” yoongi raises an eyebrow at you.

what the fuck was he supposed to understand from that?

“come on yoongi, it’s not like we haven’t done it before” your chuckle following your words, is uncomfortable, tight, and completely unnatural.

“right” yoongi drawls, still not quite getting what you were hinting at.

were you okay with it?

were you not?

would he just have to kiss you again to find out?

“it was just a mistake, it happens, it’s not a big deal, i’m still moving out, you are still very much in love with your career, we don’t have to discuss it anymore” you eat as you speak, trying to bury the longing and bitterness in your voice with cold cereal.

so, that is what you meant.

yoongi doesn’t reply as his head stays down, he gets up soon after, cleaning up after himself and you, he doesn’t speak a single word or spare you a glance and disappears into his studio.

you are all too familiar with this scene.

you only watch as he does all this, you wouldn’t admit to another living soul that your heart grew heavier than it had ever been and that your chest felt tight enough to snap.

yoongi angrily walks around his studio, you could think it was a mistake but yoongi would break his computer before calling it a mistake.

but he realized he still had a long way to go.

yoongi had to be patient, he had no other choice.

but he doesn’t realize every second he goes by without telling you what was weighing on his heart, was another second your already dying hope vanished.

he can’t help but think back on the day he overheard you talking to your friend about your relationship, he subconsciously never really let go of that day, that day, he concluded that it was out of yoongi’s hands to do anything.

“i can’t believe you called, it’s been way too long” he heard your sigh of happiness outside the door, and yoongi paused, he doesn’t exactly know why he stayed to listen but he does.

your relationship, by then, had already been on the rocks, but neither of you acknowledged it.

“i wasn’t going to call, but rumi was telling me you were on a date with a certain someone” your friend sang from the other side of the speaker, clearly trying to tease you but you don’t say anything to that.

yoongi knows why you went silent, making him dig his heels deeper and listen closely to see what you would say.

“yeah, about that” you let out a hesitant chuckle, your voice struggling to keep your cheery tone. “hey, you good? what happened?” your friend’s concern was palpable and yoongi almost scoffed at her, he cared about you too, it wasn’t just her.

but yoongi couldn’t deny the weeks you both had gone without so much as exchanging a proper conversation.

yoongi would never take the blame for it, though.

“we didn’t end up going” yoongi peeks through the door to see your face turned away from the camera and he hated that he noticed the pain etched in your furrowed eyebrows. your friend stayed silent at your simple, but heavy answer, she could tell this wasn’t the first time it happened.

“but today is your anniversary?”

“it is.” you agree with a gulp, still refusing to meet her gaze.

“how long has this been going on?” her voice comes softly, so softly that your chin starts to wobble.

“nothing’s been going on, yoongi and i are fine.” you wanted to believe your words but anyone with two eyes and ears could see nothing was fine with you two.

“is that what you are telling yourself?”

“what else am i supposed to do?” your glare turns sharp and angry, you were fed up with everyone coddling you, you felt claustrophobic enough when you were with yourself.

“you know, if you want to cry, you can. none of us would judge you, you know that very well.” she tries to comfort you and yoongi’s breath turns impatient.

why was she trying so hard to convince you something was wrong, when you were telling her that everything was fine?

why did yoongi feel like she was trying to start a fight?

why did yoongi, a small part of him, feel like a fight was inevitable?

“there’s nothing to cry about, my boyfriend is just busy for an anniversary that might come again, it isn’t as important as what he does.” as you say it, a dread falls over both you and yoongi that there might not be another anniversary.

his heart free falls to his feet.

he had been busy; he wasn’t lying about that but yoongi hadn’t checked on you all this while. he can’t remember how many dates he canceled.

but that wasn’t his fault, that was life, that was his life and you knew about his life before you entered it.

it couldn’t be yoongi’s fault, it had to be yours.

yoongi’s eyebrows scrunch in bitterness at the defeat in your voice, at the absurdity of the situation he never thought you two would have to be in, at the world for keeping you apart.

he looks away just when your sobs break the silence in the room.

“i thought i couldn’t breathe without yoongi, but i am, i am living many days without him, with only glances of him, i am living and breathing.” yoongi’s head leaves the doorway before you finish your sentence. if you wanted to live without him, he would let you go, he didn’t need you to stay out of pity.

“but it all hurts, and i don’t want to do any of that without him” is what he fails to catch in his anger.

yoongi looks back at the day mournfully now, he should’ve taken you out right then and there, he shouldn’t have given up just because it seemed like you did, his head falls in his hands as he rakes his hands through his hair in agitated motions.

he wasn’t sure if he could win you back.

but he wasn’t going to give up, he wasn’t going to make that mistake again.

-

your days continued, as usual, he made you breakfast and packed you lunch, did your laundry and set them aside, he made sure you ate after you got off work and you both watched a movie or listened to songs together, or anything at all, together at the end of the day.

you were feeling good.

too good.

things were going well enough to make you nervous because suddenly, everything you knew from your breakup to the two weeks of enmity that followed those two weeks, changed drastically.

it felt like everything went back to the way it was and as much as you should be enjoying it, you didn’t, without confirmation of where you both stood, you couldn’t.

and soon, there came a catalyst that changed everything once again.

it was a mistake.

yoongi would never intentionally do this.

he took your pile of clothes as he usually does, placing them in a bucket and preparing to do your laundry along with his.

yoongi’s heart thrums in satisfaction as he places them in the washing machine, he always felt good doing chores for you, he doesn’t know why and with how well things were going, he dances and sings his way to the laundry detergent and whistles happily as he pours it heavily over your clothes, making sure to add extra fabric softener.

he leaves to do some light work in his studio, not knowing the mistake he committed.

yoongi was gunning to ruin your life, you were so sure of it.

nothing else could explain your sopping wet blouses, supposed to be white, at your feet.

you gape in horror as you pick the pile apart frantically to search for any blouses that could be salvaged, after all, these were all you wore to work, and your head falls in defeat once you see all of them in multi-colors instead of their usual stark white.

your hands tighten by your side as you feel hot all over with pure rage, you quickly grab the ex-white blouses and storm into the living room where yoongi scrolls casually on his phone, his pout whistles out tunes which fade away as he catches sight of your heavy steps towards him.

you throw your blouses at his feet and your nose flares, yoongi jumps in his seat.

“what the fuck happened?” he gasps out, not understanding the anger in your eyes.

“yoongi, this isn’t funny.” you manage to say beyond gritted teeth and he scrunches his eyebrows.

“what isn’t funny?” he frowns in confusion.

“stop acting dumb, i will fucking force detergent down your throat” that raises concern in him, he looks down at the pile of clothes by his feet.

none of the whites were whites anymore.

fuck.

“okay, listen i swear this is an accident, i’ll get you new on-“

“i wear these to work! what is wrong with you?” you point down at the pathetic pile of clothes by his feet with hands shaking from anger.

“you know, i wouldn’t do this intentionally, i am aware you wear these to work, let’s go out now and get you new shirts, i’m sure some shops will be open” he gets up from his seat, searching for his keys.

“don’t act dumb yoongi, it doesn’t suit you at all.”

yoongi starts getting frustrated, why don’t you believe him?

“let’s go and get them before the shops close” he tries to remain calm.

“i’m not going anywhere with you.” you stay rooted in your place and yoongi’s patience starts to run thin. “i’m telling you, it was a mistake, i’m not crazy enough to do this intentionally, now let’s not fight and get you shirts you need for tomorrow before we can’t.”

“don’t act like you are some hero, you are the one who ruined them!” you don’t understand why you are so angry or why you can’t seem to move from where you stood.

“and i’m trying to fix it.” he grumbles out, slamming the keys on the counter beside him.

you stare at the keys with heavy breaths and he stares at you, his anger melting as quickly as it came to the surface.

“let’s go.” he takes the keys in his hands again.

maybe it was the confusion that finally manifested with an ugly head.

maybe you hated how comfortable you got around yoongi again.

maybe you are seeing nothing but all his mistakes until that minute.

maybe you aren’t being fair at all.

but you snap.

“you think you are the only one who does important work?” you didn’t mean to get personal or bring up the topic that broke you both up again, but you couldn’t help it. your arms cross against your chest as yoongi spins on his heels to turn back to you.

“what’s that supposed to mean?”

“you clearly think you are the only one in the entire world who does meaningful work, the rest of us are just slaving away for money and security, but of course, the great min yoongi works for the greater good, for the comfort of many, for millions who adore him, that is why any work that is not his, is not valuable” your voice drips with venom and mocking as you take slow steps towards him, yoongi’s face falls into his usual glare as he watches you speak.

you poke your finger against his chest, your voice quivering with poorly controlled fury, “who the fuck do you think you are? do you think that writing a few songs and getting some records will erase how horrible you make people you are supposed to love, feel? do you think that you can get away with everything because your name is not just a name, but also a brand? i can at least say that my name belongs and serves only me, can you? you are nothing but walking merchandise that anyone can buy.” again, you never meant to say all of that, you know better than to call anyone an object but that was the thing about your anger, your anger had the power of making you say the most vicious words in the world and you had never learned to control it.

“you don’t mean that” yoongi forces himself to say because those words from anyone else, wouldn’t mean jack shit to him but coming from you, they speared his heart over and over again. he waits, he waits with his sinking heart that you would agree with him, he doesn’t believe in god but at that moment, he wished for every power to let you agree with him.

the air grew heavier around you both as you let out a sarcastic laugh.

“i have never meant anything more. you fucked with my work life, you know how much of an asshole my manager is about dress codes but you did the one thing that could ruin weeks of work for me, and you did it all by yourself, so congratulations min yoongi, you have once again proved to be the worst thing to ever happen to me” you clapped slowly as you stepped away from him, your face grim and dark as you turn away.

yoongi’s heart clenches as your words circle his body in a dangerous tornado.

walking merchandise that anyone can buy.

walking merchandise that anyone can buy.

walking merchandise that anyone can buy.

walking merchandise that anyone can b-

your glare slips as the words you uttered sink into your skin, and by the time you turn back around, yoongi’s eyes already gathered enough tears that they run down his face.

“is that what you’ve thought of me till now?” his voice breaks and so does your heart. “yoongi, no-“ you step towards him but he backs away, his defenses climb back right infront of your eyes as his body suddenly looks too far away.

“that’s not fair, you don’t get to tell me now, that you thought i was merchandise, that i keep hurting everyone i love, when all i’ve done these past weeks is try and win you back.” your world stops spinning as yoongi admits to his trials.

you feel like the biggest asshole in the world.

“yoongi, you were right, i didn’t mean-“ you walk over to him with hesitant steps, he doesn’t back away this time but he doesn’t let you finish either.

“i know i’ll never be worthy of you, i know i can only try but i’m trying, god knows i’m fucking trying because even if you can live and breathe without me, i can’t do any of that without you.” your own eyes start to tear up as you reach to wipe the wetness of his cheeks and yoongi takes a shaky breathe in as his face involuntarily cuddles into your palm.

“and you were wrong that night, i will never move on from you, i am simply not capable of moving on from you, because i have never loved anyone more than i’ve loved you, i’ve never wanted someone as much as i have wanted you, every bit of me belongs to you, none of me is mine anymore. and it took you being away for me to realize that.” yoongi’s confession stops time and space. he feels exposed like someone stripped him naked and threw him into traffic but he finally lets you know everything he’s dreamed of telling you.

you press your forehead against him with a wobbling chin and cup his face with shaky hands.

“did you ever think, that by loving me, you were hurting me too?” you needed him to know the extent of his pain, the depth of his scars. yoongi lets you tell him, he needed to know as well.

“every day, i waited.” the ball in your throat gets tighter as you speak and yoongi hates that he’s the reason why.

“every single date you canceled, every night i fell asleep without you, every meal i had without you, all those days i went without seeing you, i need you to know that it killed me slowly, that it made me a shell of the person i am.” yoongi felt shame rushing through him at your words, at the pain he caused you.

he would understand if you didn’t let him in again.

he wouldn’t try again if you didn’t want him to, he has too much respect for you.

“i love you too much to not give you a chance, heck i would probably give you a chance even if you don’t ask for it.” he looks up with blurry eyes.

“but i need to believe that it will be different this time, not just know that it will be.” you step away at that, staring at yoongi who was left standing with a burden that suddenly fell on his shoulders.

how was he supposed to make you believe that?

could you not trust his word alone?

but then again, his words haven’t exactly ended things well for you both.

“how do you want me to show you?” he needed to know, there was nothing he needed to know more.

your breathing stalls at his words.

“please tell me.” his voice breaks as he whispers that, yoongi’s eyes gathering tears again and your heart falls to your feet at the redness coating his eyes.

you wished none of today would have happened.

“yoongi.” you whisper back but you don’t even know what he could do to mend things, you are not sure he can but you can’t deny him a chance.

you don’t have an answer for him.

“i am going apartment hunting soon” you confess finally, and he feels his breath get knocked out of his chest. “oh really?” he asks, sniffing as he looks away.

“my friend knows this real estate agent person who set me up for a few tours, you have to understand why i had to do it.” he knows exactly why you had to do it and he hated knowing that it was all because of him.

but he wasn’t going to give up after ripping his heart out for you.

“i’ll come with you.” yoongi nods and you frown at him, “yoongi, you really don’t have to, i know you are bus-“ he cuts you off, “i am not busy, let me come with you, i want to at least make sure you move into a nice place.” that was a total lie but it wasn’t like yoongi had a lot of options left.

you ponder for a while, and yoongi waits patiently for your answer, he won’t push you if you deny but he will be as stubborn as he can be without frustrating you.

“fine, i’ll let you know by tomorrow.” you finally give in and without another word, go back into your room. you close your door with an exhausted sigh, your face aligning with your reflection across the room.

your eyes were redder than ever and all the energy had been sucked out of your face, making you look sick and you felt sick too, your entire body was aching and you wondered if yoongi felt this way too, if he was as tired, if he felt like the world was pulling his body down, if he maybe wanted to give up because of this feeling.

you stay several minutes this way; you hadn’t thought you would call yoongi merchandise. you, of all people, knew how stressful his job got but you no longer wanted to use that as an excuse for how he treated you.

“how do you want me to show you?”

those words sent a shiver down your spine at that moment, it was the desperation that drenched his voice, the way his hands were shaking beside his body, and his eyes that looked through every inch of you, trying to find ways to convince you.

a slow knock drew you out of your mind, your hand locking around the doorknob to pull it open, and there stood the reason for all your pain and yearning.

yoongi held a tray of hot soup with ginger tea, and a bunch of chocolates, his gaze settling everywhere but at you, as he stood with shifting feet.

“you didn’t eat anything.” you didn’t realize you hadn’t eaten all day but apparently, yoongi had and that tightened your chest around your heart a little more, suffocating you with the love you held for him a little more.

with trembling fingers, you hoped he wouldn’t notice, you take the tray from his hands and place it on a table, and yoongi turns to leave, he didn’t want to bother you too much, he just wanted to make sure you ate.

you pulled on his wrist, not exactly sure of what you will do next but somehow, you needed to touch him, feel that he was real and that you both were here, so lost but still together.

“t-thank you.” you stutter out, every other word you had woven all these months stayed trapped in your mouth. yoongi stared at the hand that held his wrist, he had almost forgotten how out of breath this used to make him feel. how he used to lose nights of sleep imagining you and him, in a house, waking up next to you, falling asleep with you, long before you had both ever committed, yoongi had imagined every day in his life with you in it.

he can’t believe how close he is to losing all of it.

“we should talk, yoongi.” you feel tired but you won’t be catching any sleep in the state the both of you were in, he would spend all night worrying about you, and you would spend all night worrying about him.

yoongi silently followed you into the guest room, it was still strange for him to see you in another part of the house, he eyes the makeup that was scattered on the vanity, the clothes lying around on the sofa, your socks at the edge of the bed and as silly as it sounded, he hated that none of this mess was in the room you two shared.

“i’m still going to see the apartments” you start off awkwardly, taking a seat on the bed and yoongi stood at the corner of the bed, hating that it felt wrong to sit next to you at the moment.

when had it become so bad?

“and i’m still coming with you to see them.” he concludes and gathers all his courage before plopping down next to you. if today didn’t go the way it did, you would laugh at the distance between you two and pull him closer and tell him to stop acting funny, but none of that felt right.

“i think you understand you fucked up” you say, finally looking up at his figure next to you and you shouldn’t have, your resolve already was spread thin, and looking at yoongi didn’t help.  “i do.” he agrees and nods shamefully.

“what are you going to do to fix it?”

“anything you want me to.” his answer is quick and firm, he was prepared for anything you would ask for, but you were tired of asking.

“it’s not about what i want, yoongi. i need to believe that you want this as much as i do, and that you’re prepared to fight for it, asking me about what to do is you just handing over the responsibility to me instead of at least trying to figure it out by yourself.” he listens intently, and puts himself in your shoes.

“i took a break from work.” your eyes widen at him and you have to force your jaw shut because you could’ve imagined anything but not those words leaving yoongi’s lips of all people.

“you, what?”

“work is good, very good but it was keeping me from you and it was hard to make that decision but i can always work, i can’t lose you. i can lose millions of dollars, this house, all my clothes, everything but nothing mounts to losing you.”

you have to force yourself to look away when he says that, because you never could have imagined that you were worth all of that and more to him and you are well aware of his deep affection for his work which makes it all the more sentimental that he was taking a break for you.

“i want to be worthy of you again, i want to spend time with you, i want to take care of you, i want to be anywhere around you as long as you want me. i thought i was working for us, for us to be comfortable, but i got selfish in the middle, and i ignored the person who kept me going when it got too hard.” he pauses, his breath shaking as his eyes fall shut. he remembers the exact second his chest almost blew up at the sight of you leaving home, he never wants to experience that again.

“it’s all on me, i should’ve never let you feel like i didn’t love you, loving you is one of the only things i can do right.”

“besides music.” you add in hopes to lighten the mood and you are successful when a full grin grows on yoongi, one that has your cheeks warming up with joy.

“besides music.” he agrees, “but i’ve done it for enough time now, i just want to love you, in the way you deserve to be loved. which is why i’m asking, no i’m begging for you to let me do this right, one last time.”

“what will change? if i say, yes?”

“all my time will be yours; all of my attention has always been yours and it will remain yours, i will make your food like i always have, we will go on dates whenever we want, and we will watch all the movies we’ve wanted to watch but couldn’t, we’ll do everything we used to do but better. it won’t go back to how it was but i don’t want us to stay as the shadow of who we used to be, because we’re meant for more than that.” he says sincerely, with his heartbeat echoing in every word and you couldn’t just pretend like you didn’t hear it.

“as much as i try to will this feeling away, i can never stop hoping for us.” in the next second that he utters those words, you throw yourself in his arms, and your final resolve breaks as his shaky hands snake down the length of your back like he can’t believe he gets to hold you like this again.

the first tear slips without knowledge, secretly and it disappears in his shoulder, his tear disappears in the crook of your neck. the tears that follow, fall shamelessly, without any intention of stopping and none of you say another word, not another ‘i need you to stay because i’ll lose the important piece of me if you go’, not another ‘i love you, like i’ve loved nothing else and losing you scares me like nothing else’, all of those remain unspoken but they hang in the air around you.

“i believe, with everything in me, that we’re meant for more than this.” yoongi braves to look at you, his eyes zeroing in on the curves of your cheeks, he hates that he was the reason for the tears that have fallen on them.

he can’t let it ever happen again.

“do you?”

-

“this one has beautiful floor-to-ceiling windows, i heard you have a passion for reading, so the sunlight will be perfect.” your agent says enthusiastically as he walks you through the sixth apartment you’ve seen today.

“she also has a passion for sleeping so that won’t work.” yoongi groans as he walks behind you, your face grows red as you slap him on the arm.

“if you’re going to complain about every house, just stay outside, i will look through them.” you grit your teeth at him but your heart softens when his mouth pulls into a whine, “our house is perfect, i literally don’t understand why you’re moving.”

all yoongi has done since he’s stepped out of home is complain about every single house you’ve been to.

“the closet won’t hold half your clothes.”

“a big kitchen is useless for you.”

“this literally looks like a druggie’s hideout.”

“it’s too white.”

no, you are not sure what he meant with the last one either but all you know is that he’s whisked you away from all of them before you could even consider them as options.

“we’ve talked about this, and we agreed that space could do us some good, and no, our house isn’t perfect, my bookshelf has no space left.” you complain lowly so that the agent doesn’t hear you but lo and behold he does. yoongi, on the other hand, can’t remember when he agreed that space would do you good, hell that’s the last thing he wants.

“which is why this house would be perfect for you, the bedroom offers a stunning full wall bookshelf that you can stock up with all of your reads without compromising for space!” he cheerfully chatters and yoongi’s jaw tightens, he hates this agent with all his body and soul even if he’s known him for an hour.

“i can build a bookshelf from scratch” he mumbles grumpily but he can’t help the way his heart flutters when he sees you catch sight of the bookshelf. it’s everything you ever want in a bedroom, a proper vanity, a low-set bed, perfect lighting, and of course, the majestic bookshelf.

your smile grows as you trace your fingers over the plush vanity and the bookshelf and yoongi’s face breaks into a half-smile.

it’s bittersweet, to have you, but in a different house, not the home you’ve built for years but yoongi would never deny anything that grew that smile on your face.

“i really like this one.” you beam at the agent who sighs out in relief but maintains a professional smile, “if you’re all set for it, i’ll get the paperwork ready.” he offers immediately and your eyes pass on yoongi’s figure in the doorway. he smiles at you encouragingly, as if he’s okay with it, but you know he’s not.

just then, yoongi’s phone rings and he excuses himself to step out to take the call, right before he leaves, he hears you say, “i’ll take this one” in a lovely, sing-song tone that he knows you only use when you’re truly happy. his shoulders slump but he knew that this would happen today, he had told his heart all night to not give up on him.

he answers the phone with an irritated tone, he didn’t know how to feel, he could barely listen to the person speaking to him on the phone, he wanted to be happy just for the fact that you agreed to give him a second chance, and that you were excited to spend time with him, but he couldn’t help the sinking in his chest at the thought of waking up and not seeing you.

“no, i am not coming in for work next week, i already told you this, don’t call me again.” yoongi says in a calm but stern manner, the person tries talking again but you were out of the house, and yoongi could care less about anything else.

“did you sign the papers? did you need a pen? i think i have one in my car, let me go grab it.” he rambles and hastens to make his way to the car but you bite back a smile and grip onto his hand.

“yoongi.” you step into his open arms and hug his torso, yoongi is confused but his arms wrap around you, and unconsciously you both are swaying in each other’s embrace.

the house was great but being in yoongi’s arms for these two minutes felt more like home than any house in the world and every corner of the house reminded you of the lack of his presence.

the kitchen, where he won’t cook, where he won’t make fun of your dishes.

the couch, where his headphones don’t lay carelessly.

the bedroom, where his side is neatly arranged while yours stays a mess.

the balcony, where he won’t sip his coffee dramatically at sunset to amuse you.

and the bookshelf, that he won’t help you fill with all the books he gets home, just because they reminded him of you.

you had wanted a home and space but you could find both of those in yoongi.

“you can build a bookshelf, right?” yoongi’s eyebrows scrunch at your question, he almost feels offended that you have to ask that.

“um duh, you know i can.” he whines and you giggle into his chest.

“then, i’m not moving.” yoongi’s arms almost fall away at your words, a strange mix of relief, gratefulness and content fill his every crevice as he tries not to hug you tighter, a punishment for even thinking of keeping you away from him.

and he will take this mix of emotions and remember it forever, the day you gave up on space to stay with him, he will remember the favor you did for his heart for as long as he breathes.

“i will build a million bookshelves if that’s what you want, all you have to do is stay, forever.” forever is a big word, a word yoongi never believed in, always saying that everything in life was on borrowed time but with you, it feels like too short of time.

you knew how he felt about forever so for him to say it to you, rushes into your chest and spreads with a warmth that makes you feel all things giddy and good.

he says nothing, no words, just keeps you in his arms after time had kept you away for too long.

“let’s go home, yoongi.”