Sometimes Motivation Isnt Enough. You Also Need Good Habits And Determination To Make It Happen, Even

Sometimes motivation isn’t enough. You also need good habits and determination to make it happen, even when your motivation is low!

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once again im here

SHE IS MINE 🥀

GENRE: mafia au, married relationship

WORD COUNT: 1K+

<Kim Mingyu x Female Reader>

I woke up to the sound of gunshot again. This is kind of normal right now. Since the day I married him my life has been turned to hell. But sadly I can't even escape it. It is my reality now. I got up and went to the shower and came back as soon as possible. When I opened the door of the shower I felt another person’s presence there already and it felt creepy at this point.

I knew where the gun was. He always made sure I remembered that. And fortunately with my short term memory I still do remember. I was walking on my toes so that I wouldn't alarm the stranger but I felt two strong arms wrapping me up from behind. I tried all the techniques to free myself from that man but to no avail. I even tried to scream but he closed my mouth and then he made me unconscious.

When I woke up I was tied in a chair but I was still in my room. My head was hurting like it would burst but fortunately it didn’t. I looked around and saw two men wearing all black and also had their masks on. So it was hard to recognize not that i can know any of his enemies. I knew someday this might happen to me but never knew this would happen so soon. I wish someone would save me. To be honest I don't even know whether he will know where I am and will come to rescue me?

I was getting sleepy when someone splashed water and that literally woke me up, “ where is your husband?” one of the masked men screamed. “ How could I know when you tied me up like this early in the morning?”I spat at him.

“ girl talk nice, you are in no condition to talk back like this right now”, the other one spoke.

“exactly , don’t you know what would happen to you if you won’t obey?”, the first man said.

I smirked and then replied, “ and don’t you know what would happen to both of you when my husband will find you”. The second man came closer to me and held my chin tightly and made me face him, “ trust me girl your man won’t last a minute when he will meet us”, he slapped me hard and then continued, “ and then you will regret this the rest of your life”.

“I don’t think that will happen because i have known him for the last three years and boy oh boy I pity you both”, I said back and as soon as those words left my mouth i again got slapped and this time a bit a little harder. This time my lip swelled up and blood trickled down.The man came and pushed down a large piece of cloth in my mouth, “ I hope now we will have some peace without hearing your annoying voice”.

I was still struggling to speak or get free when the door flew and then my eyes landed on his. He was angry, like really angry as if he would burn the entire place. He shot the man as soon as he entered, “ now you won’t even be able to hear your annoying voice”. He shouted.

He rushed to me when two of his bodyguards came and tied up those masked men. Mingyu walked to me and opened the cloth out of my mouth and touched my face as gently as possible as if it was the most fragile thing. He then looked up at me and saw tears in my eyes. He got up immediately and shot one of the man’s legs, “ Who dared to touch my wife?”, he literally growled this time. The men were whimpering and were unable to speak by then, who were getting beaten up severely that the structure of their face had changed and was all bloodied. He repeated again, “ WHO THE FUCK DARED TO TOUCH MY WIFE?”.

No one answered and all I heard then were 4 gunshots and then he ordered, “ Take the bodies and dump them in the dumpster. These trash bags should be eaten by stray dogs.” Both his men rushed and dragged the bodies when these words left his mouth instantly.

[time skip]

After ending the chaos and everyone left, Mingyu cleaned my wounds. I looked at his eyes and I had never seen them being so sad. He was so arrogant and strong and now seeing him this heartbroken and sad is shattering something inside me, “ I am sorry I shouldn't have left you alone here”, he said, eyes fixed on my wounds. His face was so close to mine I could feel his warm breaths right now, “ For me your life is constantly in danger”. It seemed like he was guilty and was resenting himself. This is the closest I have gone to him. I never thought I would fall for this man after marrying forcefully to him. But something inside me is changing because the man I am seeing is not the same as I was married to.

After he got up, my instincts made me pull his hands and he flopped down beside me. He was surprised at my act. We never exchanged such emotions and this is the first time. I can feel how nervous he is. I giggled, “ Someone is about to cry it seems” I teased his hairs.

“ What?”, he spoke as softly as possible. He changed his side to face me. His hand touched my face and the next thing I knew was his soft lips brushed my cheeks. He pulled his face away and looked at my shocked face. And then he spoke, “ I can't let anything happen to you, not even a scratch. Whatever happened today is the last.If someone touches you I will burn everything down to ashes”. He then pulled me closer and kissed me. That one kiss made emotions burn inside me and I kissed him back that fiercely.

[ Next day]

I woke up when the sunlight fell on my eyes and something felt heavy on me and when I opened my eyes properly I saw Mingyu without his shirt but as far i remember he had it on when we went to sleep. He had wrapped his arm around me like he was holding me. Instead of getting up instantly I stayed there for a while to gaze at his gorgeous beauty. He looks so rough and fierce but now watching him sleeping so calmly, his breath being in perfect rhythm, I feel like I can spend an eternity and more with him. I touched his arms then his face and was playing with his hairs when he woke up, “ Good morning darling”, he said in a raspy voice.

A/N:

Hey guys thanks for reading this fic. I hope you like this. I loveeddddd writing about Mafia Mingyu so I am posting the full version on my Wattpad. If you want to read please check out the link. And feel free to give me feedback.

i just can't forget about bets shua singing 2 minus 1 in his entire soul like he's been on divorce, failed relationship, heartbreak, and fighting for his child's custody like i badly want a fic about ittt vv bro still in love with yn tho (I've been searching for a perfect writer who may be the best on writing these kind of fics and I thought about uuuu)

CLOCKWORK — joshua hong x reader

summary: where it wasn’t supposed to be like this. but it did.

notes: anon why’d you have to make a request so enticing to write ;-;. this was so sad for me to write IM CRYING. also please give feedback?? this is the first time in awhile i’ve written angst so i might be a little rusty.

anon i’m sorry if i interpreted the request wrong but i hope i did it correctly 🤞

warnings: ANGST. there’s no comfort, only angst. everyone loses in this. mentions of your child, but he doesn’t make an appearance.

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You knew that you had to divorce Joshua the minute when you looked at him and all you felt was emptiness. Unlike the utter love and devotion you felt for him in the beginning of your relationship, you felt… nothing.

It started with the mini arguments that ended in both of you guys apologizing. Then it escalated; fights that would last for a couple of days to full on screaming matches where you’d both yell until neither of you had the energy or voice to anymore.

Looking back, neither of you were at fault. You two just happened to be not compatible with each other.

But that didn’t mean you stopped trying. Because you tried.

It just didn’t work.

And even with a child, a precious little boy named Siwoo, it seemed like nothing could work.

And you realized this in the midst of a fight with Joshua that made him leave in the middle of it and the slamming of the door awoke your son, who was around a year old at the time, who then started to cry his heart out.

So you filed for a divorce.

It’d been a year since the divorce.

The process hadn’t been easy for you, at first. When you brought up the idea of divorce, Joshua immediately shut it down and used every excuse in existence.

But he must’ve seen how much the fighting drained you, because once he saw your sad eyes which only lit up in the presence of yours and his’ son, he agreed to the divorce.

The divorce was amicable, for the most part. You guys decided that going to court to settle everything was too much, so you guys talked it out. It was probably the longest the two of you have gone without fighting each other, which was depressing when you thought back on it.

But, in the end, you and Joshua settled on everything. For now, you would have Siwoo live with you in the house you guys had purchased while married since he was so young and maybe if he was older, he’d go back and forth with living between the both of you.

You had brought up the idea of selling the house and splitting the money, but Joshua insisted that you keep it.

“It’s your dream house. I don’t want you to have to throw it away because of me,”

So, now, you lived in a house made for 4 people with only you and Siwoo living together. Joshua visits when he can and sometimes he even sleeps over to spend time with Siwoo.

Life was okay.

“Joshua, what are you doing here?”

“I didn’t know where else to go,”

It was evident he was drunk. His shirt was disheveled, his shoes in one hand while a bottle that contained who-knows-what in his other. He could barely keep his eyes open and he was swaying so hard you feared he could topple over any minute.

You ushered him in the house, concerned that your neighbors will start talking and the last thing you needed was nosy neighbors.

“Where’s Siwoo?” Joshua slurred, putting down his bottle of alcohol on a nearby table, and sitting on the couch that you decided to keep, along with everything else in the house because it was too painful to throw away, even if it caused you pain at the same time.

“He’s at my parents. He wanted to spend time with his grandparents,” you informed him.

He nodded then stayed silent.

“Look, Joshua, I don’t know what you’re doing here—“

“It wasn’t supposed to end like this.”

“What?” you asked, not understanding what he was saying.

“This. Us. We were supposed to be happy and Siwoo was supposed to have a sibling,”

“You should go—“

“I went on a date today,” he suddenly said, cutting you off.

You stiffened at the news, but didn’t say anything. It seemed like Joshua wasn’t waiting for a response because he said, “The guys said I needed to move on. The divorce was done and I was finally single. So I let Seungkwan arrange a date for me with this girl from his workplace,”

“I don’t think I should hear this—“

“I couldn’t focus on the date. Ask me why.” Joshua said, his statement not leaving room for arguments.

You sighed and asked, “Why couldn’t you focus?”

“Because she wasn’t you,” he softly said, his slightly glassy eyes looking at you.

You took a deep breath, not expecting that answer.

“Joshua, you’re drunk. Maybe you should sleep it off,” was all you said, before turning to leave.

Before you could exit the living room and go to your room, Joshua called your name.

You turned and he said, “For what it’s worth, I really am sorry,”

You turned away, not wanting to risk him seeing how you started to tear up.

“I’m sorry, too,”

And with that, you went to your room and cried yourself to sleep.

Joshua, in the living room, felt so close yet so far from you, also crying himself to sleep.

But the next day, the both of you would pretend that nothing happened.

Like clockwork.

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I cried....

"sorry," was the first word seungcheol murmured when you opened the door of your apartment.

it’s been a week since you didn’t see him. a week full of doubts, sorrow and tears.

seungcheol and you used to be best friends. until the end of your studies, you always stayed together, providing to the other a comfort and a peace of mind nobody ever managed to reach. seungcheol had always been by your side for your exams and you had never left your seat empty during his games. he hadn’t been your friend. he had been your confident, your home, your soulmate. but, to you, things were only platonic and you thought it was the same for him. why would you have think differently? when he was the first one to deny any romantic interest implied by your entourage. when he dated so many girls in high school. when you were happily engaged to jeonghan.

and now, as you watched him on your front door, his eyes and hair soaked by the rain and his tears, you didn’t know anymore if the boy in front of you was your best friend or a complete stranger.

the last time you two saw each other was at a party held by soonyoung from your high school friend group. your fiancé wasn’t here because of a business trip and you suggested to drive the two of you to soonyoung’s house since seungcheol was on your way. the party was nice and you had a great time. at the end of it though, seungcheol was a bit more drunk than usual. deciding he should rest, you greeted your friends and left. on the way back, you felt something was different but couldn’t pinpoint what. when you finally reached seungcheol’s apartment, you friend whispered:

"i love you, y/n."

sincr you were used to his display of affection when he was drunk, you responded with a giggle:

"i love you too, cheol."

"no you don’t."

your heart skipped a beat and you turned your head toward him. the engine was the only thing breaking the religion silence which enveloped you. looking at him, you asked shakily, unable to understand -or to accept- the bitterness in his voice.

"what do you mean, cheol? of course i love you!"

"no you don’t, not the same way i do."

and it hit you like a train. choi seungcheol was in love with you. each "i love you" he told you didn’t held the same meaning, the same feeling, the same hope, as yours.

blinking a few times, you stopped your car and helped him getting to his bed and left without adding anything more.

the following days, you receive no sign from seungcheol. no text, no call, no visit, nothing. nothing until now.

"it’s okay cheol, we can sort this out, can’t we? do you want to come in?"

"no, i just can’t. i’ve lied to you way too long and i just can’t keep bottling it up. i love you y/n. i loved you since middle school, i love you now, i won’t stop loving you and i’m so sorry for that, for being selfish and for ruining our friendship. i know i fucked up but i just can’t keep going, pretending i only see you as a friend when you’re so close but so far from me. i tried to act like i didn’t care and tried to treat you like a sister, just the way you do to me, i swear i tried to stop loving you but it’s just impossible. how could i when you’re so pretty and charming, from your soul to your face? it’d be like denying how amazing you are and all the reasons why i fell for you. i’m so sorry but i swear i tried. i understand if you’re mad at me but don’t you worry, i’ll walk out from your life."

"but i don’t want to lose you cheol," you mutter, tears starting to fall too.

"i don’t want neither but i want us to be more than friends and i know it’s something impossible. i see the way you look at jeonghan, you never looked at me that way and i just can’t keep doing this. i’m sorry for being selfish and, if loving you is wrong, i’m sorry i love you."

reaching hesitantly your hand, he pressed it softly before leaving a delicate kiss on your fingers. his gaze diverted to your engagement ring and you saw in his eyes so much hurt. you knew it had been selfish of you to ask him to stay but you couldn’t accept to lose your best friend. he was the boy who grew up next to you since forever, he was the one you who always picked you up from unsuccessful dates, he was the one you introduced you to jeonghan. letting him go felt like letting your inner child go too.

when seungcheol turned around to leave, you murmured to the wind:

"i’m so sorry i don’t love you the way you do and deserve."

it was a small whispered, a weak cry of the heart, yet, seungcheol heard it. and he felt even more miserable for making you cry when he thought he could have been the one to make you smile and laugh for the rest of your days.

this was inspired from stray kids’ sorry i love you. its lyrics literally broke my heart when i read them and i really wanted to write abt it. i hope you liked it!

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