I Hate The Mirror.

I hate the mirror.

I hate my reflection.

I hate my face.

I hate my weight.

I wish I was more feminine... I still don't know what a woman is, but I was placed here, so I should at least understand.

I'm a girl, I know. Yet I don't feel like one.

I might get addicted to coffee I don't know, I just... I haven't been drinking much. I add it to a half cup of milk. And I have been craving more of it. I drank it twice yesterday, almost three times. Now, I wish to drink it again. And the worst: my body doesn't react well to coffee. It's genetics, my mum has the same issue. Whenever I drink it, my stomach aches and I feel like throwing up. What a lucky girl I am.

I've been obsessed with the colour red, blo0d, catholic symbolism, religious suffering, hunger, human weaknesses, mourning, can1bal1sm, st4rving, vampires, pain, the gloomy, silence, old times, candles, harder times, religious stuff. I don't know what it is, but I'm sure there is something wrong about me.

I'm hungry

I want to be a kid again.

So I can play and not worry about anything.

Growing up is never what we expect. We think adults know everything, that they know what they're doing, but the thing is: they're also children who grew up.

I wish I could close my eyes and dream, like I used to.

But life knocks hard on everyone's door.