I Need To Hear "wow, You're So Skinny" Again. I Need To Hear "you Lost Some Weight" Again.I Need Them

I need to hear "wow, you're so skinny" again. I need to hear "you lost some weight" again. I need them to look and be amazed by my small figure. I need it.

I don't know who I am.

I was supposed to be small, pretty and girly. But I'm just disgusting. I have grown. I'm not his little princess anymore.

I'm not me anymore. I'm not who I was supposed to be, And I'm not who I truly am.

I love Cecilia's vintage wedding dress.

They should've buried her with it :(

There's something interesting about the absence of existence.

I came into this world and I'm not allowed to leave. Why is living so difficult? And why is death so ironic?

I wish I wasn't so hungry all the time. And I'm not talking about physical nourishment.

I wish I was skinny

I can't self harm. I can't drink. I can't medicate myself.

I know it's for my own good, but how am I supposed to stop this pain when I'm never clean enough to reach for Him?

I miss Him. I can't seem to let go of the disgusting life I put myself into. I don't even know the actual problem, I just know it's all my fault. It's always my fault. I never do anything right.

Except for reaching for Him. This I did right. But I have ruined it, as I always do.

I miss Him, I miss him, and I miss my baby. I always lose, and I'm always lost. I'm never found.