Whos That Birdy In The Window?

Who’s that birdy in the window?

🪿🦩🦢

Teddy tries to find the beauty in everything that he crosses. When it comes to rocks, he does not struggle to find appreciation, especially when they have as much going on as these two do. Teddy lounged on these rocks that he found on the side of the trail. Can you imagine a better feeling? You’re tired from walking when you happen across a wonderful seat and even more it’s great to look at too! 

Nature provides. 

I spent the afternoon in the yard, blowing dandelions.

My brother was chopping them all down later in the day, along with all of the grass. The grass was fine, plain and not naturally occurring in its species.

The dandelion meant more to me. They were relentless and animate. They were host to an entire ecosystem; including humans should they care to them.

When I am having days that are unending and all consuming. Days where I feel too much in the center of it’s purpose, I run to the dandelions. I let them prickle at my legs. An entire world of pollinators, uninvolved with my previous routine. I am home here, too.

I couldn’t imagine losing them so quickly, but they are far more powerful than us. “Weeds.” They are far from it. What distinguishes wanted and unwanted? They cannot provide an answer we are looking for. It does not exist there. They will grow back. Their existence will be a pain to some, but a relief to others; to me.

Thank you for returning, I will say. Thank you for not giving up. They will not respond, and they do not need to. I am asking more of myself, now.

More than that, I could not stomach the idea of all of those wishes being torn down. Being taken away. I needed to finish its life cycle for it, now it has become human.

Each flower becomes a new hope. I am safe, I say. I am loved, I say. I am capable, I say. Halfway through the herd, I begin to believe myself. I am wanted here, I say. I am taking part in a larger process, I say. I can fulfill myself, I say.

And the seeds travel, they soar. Covering new parts of yard, sailing over fence lines, tucking themselves within other mature plants.

They do not know they will be forced to mourn later, there is too much time to celebrate.

Feb 21, 2024

This morning is so beautiful! As I type this, the sun is growing brighter at the window. The clouds are becoming thinner.

I imagine it as a very heavy ball nestled in a net of candy floss. Each second it grows heavier in comparison to the fragility of its support. Every second it dares to emerge, chew through, and create light for its world.

Yesterday was sunny through and through. It felt warm and dense and far from February. I spent most of the day outside with my dog, Shera.

I worked on painting the shed, which has been such a lovely project for finding footing in my Self.

I don’t tend to listen to music out there, and if so it is with the volume on very low.

There is a symphony of wildlife out there! Untouched by human hands, for now, they are so high in the trees! I enjoy conversations with mourning doves; I wonder what they are saying (I pretend I know, and it helps). Talking with no pressure in this way, I feel innate.

It’s later now. The day was even more beautiful than I could have imagined. The sun knit me into a blanket, and my Mel and I played outside for what felt like millions of moments.

Right now, my brother is making dinner. He is grilling, and his dedication is apparent through his execution. He is brilliant at the process. Most people do not think about cooking in the way he does.

He was talking to his partner, more listening then. And he made a face that felt straight from a memory of a childlike him. When we were kids together. His jaw hung and his eyes were fixed, the same as he had done when he was 7.

I am grateful for days like today. Thank you thank you thank you.

Old digital sketch I quite like :)