Hi, I'm Nym

Hi, I'm Nym

She/her. Old-skool fangirl. Fanfiction writer on AO3.

Sideblogs: Cats | Birbs

About Nym

Lifelong fannish for sci/fantasy media, mainly TV. Fanfiction is my main passion, so I'm into character analysis and meta. My fanfiction tends to be introspective, angsty, and smutty/'shippy in a character-rich sort of way.

Tumblr

Back on Tumblr after a long break, because I finally got my act together and watched Supernatural, so I can't get spoilered for it any more!

Fandoms

I'm currently giddy/blogging about Doctor Who, the Good Omens TV adaptation, Supernatural, which I just watched for the first time, the Marvel MCU, and Once Upon a Time. I never stop loving my older fandoms, though.

Earlier fandoms: Robin of Sherwood, Beauty and the Beast (TV series), Blake's 7, Quantum Leap, Back to the Future, Harry Potter, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Hercules: The Legendary Journeys, Highlander: The Series, VR.5, Petshop of Horrors, The Tomorrow People, Star Wars, Star Trek(s), Stargate(s), more Doctor Who.

Links

My fandom website: https://nym.onl

My fanfic on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nym/profile Fanfic set as visible to logged-in users only. If you need an AO3 code to be able to read there (mine or anyone else's work), don't hesitate to ask. Contact details are on my profile page there.

My Dreamwidth blog: https://nym-wibbly.dreamwidth.org/

I found it hurt-in-the-chest hard watching these later seasons where Cas was flailing and directionless, doubting himself and trying to find a way to fit with the life and people he'd long since chosen as his own. I mean, scenes like these hurt to watch, but Cas was a constant background-noise sort of hurt rather than the sudden and passing ouch! flare-ups I got from Dean's pivotal moments of self-loathing and Sam's angsty eyes of self-doubt.

Kudos to Supernatural for not seeking easy or quick answers for any of them - for having Cas finally seek out Jimmy Novak's daughter in this ep and playing it as a failure. No hugs and puppies, even as he protects and rescues her. Even as Claire begins to accept who Cas is now vs. the remembered monster who took her father from her. They connect, but it's as something other than friends, comrades, father-daughter. It'll never be peace or comfort, even if they find a certain affection. The best either of them can hope for is to take it for what it is - take the opportunity to feel peace through acceptance.

Cas listens to Dean's advice, here, but his version of letting it go is nothing like Dean's hardcore, depressive denial.

There's no way for Cas to do the right thing by Claire because he's left things far, far too late for that, but once he meets her properly he feels a fatherly responsibility for her as well as the more nebulous and guilt-driven obligation towards her and Jimmy. He cares enough to step away when he realises he can't make things better, yet leaves the door open for Claire to call on him if she ever feels the need. He leaves his open wound for her, unhealed, and goes back to looking for his own answers and trying to do better. Midlife crisis indeed.

I don't think any character in the history of television does 'unconditional love' quite as genuinely or as messily or as raw-bleeding-openly as Cas.

"Cas, listen to me. There's some stuff you just gotta let go." ↳ 10.09 - THE THINGS WE LEFT BEHIND

I need Sam to complain about having to be the one who recites the exorcism, why do I always have to do it, can’t you memorize it, and Dean laughs and says you’re the geek here, that’s why it’s your job, I do the fighting and you do the Latinating, and Sam says yeah, big talk, I know you just don’t want to say it because it hurts, stop being such a wuss about it and take your turn, and Dean says what do you mean it hurts and Sam says you know, the way it makes your throat and mouth burn and Dean says what the fuck, Sam, what are you talking about and then they both just… oh.

"To save Dean Winchester. That was your ultimate goal, right?"

He saved him.

This whole episode deserves essays written about it, books written about it, both as a pivotal moment in Supernatural's evolution and as an episode of network television at its finest, but my brain stopped working because Christopher Heyerdahl.

4 / ∞ — oh, buddy, it’s only monday

Amen

HOLY TRINITY OF TRADITIONAL BALLADS