She/Her | Fannish and Fanficcy | Fandom Old-timerWEBSITE: https://nym.onlAO3: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nym/profileDREAMWIDTH: https://nym-wibbly.dreamwidth.org/

868 posts

I Found It Hurt-in-the-chest Hard Watching These Later Seasons Where Cas Was Flailing And Directionless,

I found it hurt-in-the-chest hard watching these later seasons where Cas was flailing and directionless, doubting himself and trying to find a way to fit with the life and people he'd long since chosen as his own. I mean, scenes like these hurt to watch, but Cas was a constant background-noise sort of hurt rather than the sudden and passing ouch! flare-ups I got from Dean's pivotal moments of self-loathing and Sam's angsty eyes of self-doubt.

Kudos to Supernatural for not seeking easy or quick answers for any of them - for having Cas finally seek out Jimmy Novak's daughter in this ep and playing it as a failure. No hugs and puppies, even as he protects and rescues her. Even as Claire begins to accept who Cas is now vs. the remembered monster who took her father from her. They connect, but it's as something other than friends, comrades, father-daughter. It'll never be peace or comfort, even if they find a certain affection. The best either of them can hope for is to take it for what it is - take the opportunity to feel peace through acceptance.

Cas listens to Dean's advice, here, but his version of letting it go is nothing like Dean's hardcore, depressive denial.

There's no way for Cas to do the right thing by Claire because he's left things far, far too late for that, but once he meets her properly he feels a fatherly responsibility for her as well as the more nebulous and guilt-driven obligation towards her and Jimmy. He cares enough to step away when he realises he can't make things better, yet leaves the door open for Claire to call on him if she ever feels the need. He leaves his open wound for her, unhealed, and goes back to looking for his own answers and trying to do better. Midlife crisis indeed.

I don't think any character in the history of television does 'unconditional love' quite as genuinely or as messily or as raw-bleeding-openly as Cas.

"Cas, Listen To Me. There's Some Stuff You Just Gotta Let Go." 10.09 - THE THINGS WE LEFT BEHIND
"Cas, Listen To Me. There's Some Stuff You Just Gotta Let Go." 10.09 - THE THINGS WE LEFT BEHIND
"Cas, Listen To Me. There's Some Stuff You Just Gotta Let Go." 10.09 - THE THINGS WE LEFT BEHIND
"Cas, Listen To Me. There's Some Stuff You Just Gotta Let Go." 10.09 - THE THINGS WE LEFT BEHIND
"Cas, Listen To Me. There's Some Stuff You Just Gotta Let Go." 10.09 - THE THINGS WE LEFT BEHIND

"Cas, listen to me. There's some stuff you just gotta let go." ↳ 10.09 - THE THINGS WE LEFT BEHIND

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More Posts from Nym-wibbly

7 months ago

Hi, I'm Nym

She/her. Old-skool fangirl. Fanfiction writer on AO3.

Sideblogs: Cats | Birbs

About Nym

Lifelong fannish for sci/fantasy media, mainly TV. Fanfiction is my main passion, so I'm into character analysis and meta. My fanfiction tends to be introspective, angsty, and smutty/'shippy in a character-rich sort of way.

Tumblr

Back on Tumblr after a long break, because I finally got my act together and watched Supernatural, so I can't get spoilered for it any more!

Fandoms

I'm currently giddy/blogging about Doctor Who, the Good Omens TV adaptation, Supernatural, which I just watched for the first time, the Marvel MCU, and Once Upon a Time. I never stop loving my older fandoms, though.

Earlier fandoms: Robin of Sherwood, Beauty and the Beast (TV series), Blake's 7, Quantum Leap, Back to the Future, Harry Potter, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Hercules: The Legendary Journeys, Highlander: The Series, VR.5, Petshop of Horrors, The Tomorrow People, Star Wars, Star Trek(s), Stargate(s), more Doctor Who.

Links

My fandom website: https://nym.onl

My fanfic on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nym/profile Fanfic set as visible to logged-in users only. If you need an AO3 code to be able to read there (mine or anyone else's work), don't hesitate to ask. Contact details are on my profile page there.

My Dreamwidth blog: https://nym-wibbly.dreamwidth.org/


Tags :
7 months ago
#the Nowhere Man Who Waits And The God Of Stories Who Watches
#the Nowhere Man Who Waits And The God Of Stories Who Watches
#the Nowhere Man Who Waits And The God Of Stories Who Watches
#the Nowhere Man Who Waits And The God Of Stories Who Watches

#the Nowhere Man who waits and the God of Stories who watches


Tags :
7 months ago

Supernatural fanfic

I had my first browse for Supernatural-flavoured fanfiction over the past couple of days. I don't know why I'm surprised to find that so much of it is out-of-universe-AU: coffee shop, college, high school setting and so on. 'Uber' fic as we called it in ye olden days.

I guess the canon timeline of the show doesn't actually leave much wiggle room for bigger fanfic storylines to drop in out of nowhere and fit nicely as canon-compliant works. It's ideal for absorbing character oneshots, reaction stories, fix-its, and PWP style smut, short works that fill short spaces of time, but the central characters are crazy busy for all those seasons. I'd have to think pretty hard to find a good spot to insert a character-rich and canon-compliant first time smut wallow, for example.

Innnteressssting.

Look at the sheer number of Supernatural fanworks on AO3 though. That's incredible.


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