I'm Having A Sort Of Time Of Really Quick And Intense Discovery, Right, And Last Night As I Was Going

I'm having a sort of time of really quick and intense discovery, right, and last night as I was going to bed a couple things just sort of popped into my head and they make so much sense now.

I've always slept on my stomach. I HATE laying any other way, I've never been able to articulate why it just bothers me. Now that I can borderline feel my wings, laying on my stomach goes from something I feel is important but can't articulate why to making perfect sense. I don't experience any phantom feeling or pain, but I sort of just "feel" them energetically like they're there, and I don't like when I have to have my back against something if I can feel them strongly.

The other thing I realized today; I've always felt, often, like there's something behind me. It never felt malicious or scary, I kept assuming it was one of my deities or entities that I work with because it just felt like some vague energy behind me- but I could never figure out who, or why. I eventually attributed it to the fear of something behind me, because typically that's what it's portrayed as, but I never actually felt afraid.

Well, now I know why past me couldn't figure out who it was. Surprise, it's you buddy, you've just sorta got wings. Have fun.

Honestly this has to be one of my favorite kinds of humor I've seen coming into the otherkin community. Me with my friend right now, except there's a bonus of it being SO thinly veiled. I talked about dragons, about how much I love amphitere's, about how I'm going to make a blue wing cape for myself, about how "lol I hoard trinkets like a dragon" and how I want to dress with dragon scales and look like a fucking ocean cryptid.

Actually, typing this all out, hOW HAVE THEY NOT FIGURED IT OUT-

i love how none of my friends know that they eat lunch with a dog everyday

like- bro im literally wagging my tail while munching this pizza

me munching :D

Ayyy I can actually offer input here! Local pagan witch, and I was a witch WAY before I realized I just also happened to be a dragon. I've been actively practicing (admittedly in cycles/off and on) for about four years, and I've considered myself pagan since middle school.

My discovery or "awakening" or whatever word you'd like to use was because I started to work with my familiar, who is a dragon, and they basically.... gently implied that there might be a reason I loved dragons so much. And then left me to figure out the rest on my own. Love them, they're a bit of a cryptic bitch.

A little funny to me that I do follow a religion that suggests reincarnation is part of the afterlife (just part of it! it's complicated) but my inhumanity is 100% psychological in nature. It's interesting to me how a lot of spiritual alterhumans seem to intertwine their beliefs with their alterhumanity, I think it's so cool to connect different parts of your identity like that! It's just not me for some reason, they're pretty separate and I'm okay with it like that. I've also noticed a lot of spiritual alterhumans are pagans, which makes me curious if they were following their religion before or after discovering they were alterhuman

(I have also noticed unfortunately a lot of pagans in the community have very appropriative practices that stem from the modern wicca/witchy/neopagan movement that just cherrypicked several holidays from different cultures and then just made up whatever they wanted about them......but that is not really related to this post. maybe for another time lol)

who else is looking forward to laying in the sun all day when summer comes? reptile nonhumans come bask in the sun with me, we'll lay on the rocks together

Today on "no one could have prepared me for being a witch and a dragon"

for those seeing this somewhere other than the otherkin tag, I am a dragonkin witch and I work with Hades.

Me: "Idk I've always pictured Persephone as having [hair color]." (I get the DISTINCT vibe from Hades that I'm very wrong, to the point of it being comical)

My mom: "I.... I just got a very distinct 'Fucking dragons, colorblind' from him. Like dragons are weird about colors. Like.... maybe they don't see the same color spectrum or something?"

Me, gasping: "WAIT LIKE SHRIMP COLORS??????? Maybe dragons see shrimp colors!"

After some debate, it was essentially confirmed- although my mom burst into laughter after she asked why Hades was implying my face blindness was also dragon-related and got back "I DON'T KNOW I'M NOT A DRAGON."

Bonus tidbit-

Me, softly after getting really strong vibes of excitement after marshmallows are mentioned: "Do you.... want... a marshmallow, Hades????" (for context, his tastes are a lot more refined so this was WILDLY out of the blue. He is very salty that this has given us such a specific view of him, since "what, do you think I'm ABOVE a marshmallow??????")

YES I've talked to my mom about how, when I can't stim, I often stim in my head. I imagine doing the stimming motion, the image pops up in my head very literally.

Even though I don't get really strong shifts yet, because I don't feel like I've REALLY tapped into this part of me, I often still get the IMAGE. I shudder and get the image of my wings shuddering with me. I stretch and my wings stretch. I can stim with my wings a little bit, even though I honestly haven't learned how because my very literal mind is like "but do wings move like that though?"

I wish I could find a less infantilizing way to say this, but I feel like a fuckin' toddler who just discovered their hands. "HOLY SHIT WHAT DO THESE DO????"

i love tail and ear shifts so much cus even tho they aren’t ’actually there’ i still see them as another way to stim :3