And Then I Go And Spoil It All By Saying Something Stupid Like...

and then i go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like...

dr ratio x fem!reader

(sorry if hes ooc i didnt know how to bring out his assholeyness on a first date withour having the reader standing up and leaving his ass)

pt. 2 of then afterwards we drop into a quiet little place and have a drink or two

four days before the date.

you made veritas feel icky. his sweaty palms disgusted him, his jumbled thoughts made him feel like hiding in his study and never leaving, and the way even thinking of you made his heart race made him feel like a fool.

so he did what he does best, and he studied. he worked his ass off. researched breathing exercises and studied the human mind. the feelings he'd read about before, ones he swore he'd never stoop so low to feeling, were now what he seeked to bottle up. not completely, for he is still a man. just enough to not feel like such an idiot.

for the next four days before you two planned to meet, he practiced. in front of mirrors, lying in bed thinking of you; he worked day and night to get back to his normal self. he even suppressed his giddiness and raging thoughts about you enough to get two good days of work in.

7 hours before the date.

ratio is a methodical man. he plans and he executes.

he did not plan to wake up at 3 in the morning the day of your date. and he can’t get back to sleep. he's done his calming breathing exercises, he’s focused his muscle groups, hes counted sheep. he is NOT getting any more rest.

so now hes sitting on the edge of his bed, head in his hands like that one picture of shinji. a plethora of thoughts are racing through his head,

“what if i look like shit later today?

...i’ll need to wear concealer with my eyeliner today…

...i’m so fucking tired.”

but it's mainly you. what if he messes up, what if he's too rude or snarky? what if you don't really like who he is, like everyone else?

3 hours before the date.

you know how in films the dorky loser main character practices in front of the mirror before talking to their crush? veritas seemed to take it to heart, as he's standing here, leaning on his sink counter, staring at his own reflection (which he spent the last four hours on) and practicing what he’ll do.

his mind is organized and going over what he’ll do (although he's heavily suppressing the jumbled nervous thoughts that are running rampant in the back of his head) but it’s okay! ‘cause this doctor has a plan..!

talk about her outfit

ask her why she was interested in you

… the weather ?

surely the conversation will flourish from there. yeah. he’s totally prepared.

30 minutes before the date.

of course he’s 30 minutes early. if you’re early, you’re on time. if you're on time, you're late. and if you’re late? don’t bother showing up. that's his philosophy. although he's kinda hoping you don’t show up early too. his deep breathing exercises will take at least another 20 minut-

29 minutes before the date.

shit.

he watches as you enter the cafe, nodding to the barista and looking for a table. he notices you noticing him. your eyes light up and you sent a quick wave as you hurry over. but- wait, just a second- he’s not ready! he hasn't even started his affirmatio-

“hey! i guess we had the same idea, huh?” you chuckle, situating yourself and your bag onto your chair.

uh-oh, he’s just staring at you again. well, that's actually completely and totally 100% your fault! he was in the middle of DEEP-BREATHING. don’t interrupt a guy when he's breathing deeply.

“yes. we did. my philosophy on punctuality is that if you’re early, you’re on time. if you're on time, you're late. and if you’re late? don’t bother showing up.” he manages to get out. did that sound too snobbish?

“exactly! if you’re going somewhere, go with a purpose. even if that purpose is to get out as soon as possible, y’know?” you rest your head on your hand and make some relevant motion with the other one.

that's good! that's really good. he just had a conversation with you, just like he wanted. okay, okay. what now? what were his points?... outfit, interest, weather. outfit, interest, weather. outfit…

“are you going to order, veritas?” the sound of his own name from your tongue draws him back to reality. he’d like to hear that again.

“pardon me. yes, i’ll just take a black coffee.” he’s curt and in the back of his mind he's still deciding which point to bring up.

“sooo…. you look lovely. although i almost didn't recognize you without your alabaster head. i like it though.” you say, making small talk. he didn't mind it with you.

‘FUCK she beat me to it’ is what he’s thinking.

“thank you. you look beautiful, as always.” oooo he got you blushing and kicking your feet.

you let out a curt giggle at that, “so, why do you wear that? the alabaster head.” you cock your head to the side a little. you cutie patootie.

“i can’t bear to see idiots. of course, they wouldn't want to see me either.” he replies, matter of factly.

“they’re surely an idiot if they don't want to see you.”

haaah. veritas’ collar feels tighter and his head's getting hot. how's he supposed to react to that? do you have no shame?

and then he implodes because of your overwhelming beauty

okay guys i gotta be honest i have no idea how to conclude rhis ....so idk and then you guys bone or whatever you want ☺️

a/n - i'm so sorry about rhe ending gang but i quite literally could not think of any way to end this and ive been putting it off for weeks so i knew it wasnt getting finished.... whoops! 🤗

dedicated to 🌸 anon <3

(sorry for making you wait so long ml....... 😞)

HIIII I LOVE YOUR FICS SO MUCH AAAAAGHH!!!DVS<GFDS you should. .... definitely make a pt 2 to ur ratio fic ...,,

AAAA THANK YOU SO MUCH... im in love w u. IM ACTUALLY WORKING ON A PT2 RN 🙏🙏🙏 i'd hope it'd be out either today or tmrw but then again i might get distracted while writing BUT I PROMISE ITS ALREADY LIKE 50% DONE

PSA ABOUT STANLEY PINES AND HOW HE ISNT STUPID WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT FINN IM CRYING

(this is very not well written i was EMOTIONAL and SOBBING when i was typing this i will revise it later)

he is NOT stupid. (despite what @euphoric-ghoul says.......) his brother is a genius, 12 phds, got a huge grant, made a perpetual motion machine which is impossible- but despite that, stan is still not stupid.

you cant compare him to his brother, since theyre both very intelligent in their own ways. it takes smarts to fend for yourself after getting kicked out fresh out of highschool, hes a con man, and its shown throughout the series and books that hes acutely aware of what hes doing and what is happening around him.

its a classic street-smart and book-smart situation. although ford is definitely street smart after surviving 30 years in the multiverse.

theyre made to parallel eachother, fords weaknesses are stans strengths- take their social skills. although its played for laughs, stan knows how to talk.

but i hate it when people consider their highschool selves to be the same person now that theyre in their fifties. not only would that be crazy even if they were normal, did you not watch the episode where their entire lives change??? highschool stan was irresponsible, and highschool ford couldnt talk to a girl. those people are completely different from the men who dealt with the supernatural and were left to fend for themselves alone.

anyway this was all for FINN... @euphoric-ghoul WHY WOULD YOU SAY stan is the "stupid one" and ford is the "smart one" IM ACTUALLY GONNA FIGHT YOU WHEN I SEE YOU AGAIN BUDDY...... leave my GLORIOUS KING alone....

for context i was talking to finn and he MISCHARACTERIZED my two glorious twins.....

walk in the party we sippin on pepsi, wait- nah, we sippin on fanta

w/o the bubble effect under the cut + a/n!!!

a/n; SO SO SORRY 🌸 ANON but i lost my hyper fixation on HSR but i pinky promise pt 2 will be out soon!!! i just gotta wrap it up 😇 ANYWAY!!!! i rewatched mp100 and i watched jjk and AAAGAHAHAHAHA i love them 😇😇😇 made a gojo cardboard cutout ttoo 😇😇 angway love u reigen and mob

i did this instead of my volunteer work plzpzlzp 😞

DONT WORRY ABOUT THE DELAY OF PT2!! it was SO cute asdfghjksks and totally worth the wait (the agonizing wait... /j) LOVE YOU AND YOUR WORKS crying atm bc ratio imploded but its okay 💗 -🌸

i was actually worried you'd come back and be like "this is ass. kys now." imso glad you liked it ml 😞💞💞 i dunno if i'll be coming out with any hsr fics anytime soon though since i cant play it for a week 😞😞 and no characters have caught my heart lately 😞 BUT IF YOU HAVE ANY FIC IDEAS.... PASS THEM ALONG ☺️☺️

really quick kinda fugly ford and bill sketch 😇😇​a/n; reminder i was still gravity falls posting BEFORE tbob came out. heh... im a real fan... unlike these newgens...

pose inspired by @/adoughymess !!!!!