Mister Universe

Mister Universe

Oh, hello there. What, were you expecting to meet some gigantic muscle man in a posing thong strutting his stuff? That’s all for show. The name’s Isaac. Nice to meet you. Please, have a seat.

I’m afraid I really do have no idea what you’re talking about. There’s a chair right there.

Ah, I love it when I see that confused look. People always wonder how I do it. It’s funny, really. Go ahead, take a seat. I prefer to stand a while longer. I agreed to this interview because you seem legitimately interested in the truth of my story, and I don’t mind telling it, provided that truth is known without embellishment.

You see, I started off as all young men do. Small, weak, inexperienced, and vastly ignorant of the way things work in the world. In that way, I was no different than any other child. I would imagine great adventures sailing across the high seas or plunging into the depths of the earth after hidden treasure and ancient civilizations. Sometimes I would slay a dragon. Other times, I would be a great barbarian fighting for his people to conquer and spread his influence. Sometimes I would be the good guy, others the bad. And it was fun for a time, just being like that. My friends told me it was some of the most real pretend they’d ever experienced.

I suppose I always was good at weaving a good story. In that way, you might say I could create whole worlds. But in due time, that gift was set aside and forgotten. I grew older, and I had to deal with the harshness the life has to offer a young man entering his teens. Cliques began to form, and the cutthroat nature of the teenager that rears its head in puberty began to blossom in its fullness.

I watched these things unfold, and I looked at them from the perspective of every frightened teen who wants to fit in. Jocks and fit people with aesthetic looks and charismatic personalities became popular. Those who didn’t fit that mold would fall behind.

I didn’t want to fall behind, so I did the only thing I could think of at the time. I dusted off my old gift and fashioned a story for myself. I imagined myself as the perfect ideal for popularity in school: Fit, buff, rugged, with piercing eyes and a winning smile.

I would indulge in this fantasy every day. I would flex in my mirror and picture muscles growing. I would push myself at the gym and lift weights under tutelage from the fitness teachers. I pictured myself growing bigger and faster than any of my peers. And as time went on, that’s exactly what happened. I outgrew my fellows in every physical aspect. Girls would fawn over me. I became popular, even joined the football team. Everything was perfect. And when I flexed and grinned in the mirror, I would say, “I’m just a stereotypical jock.”

And that’s what I became. I lived on the high of popularity and social superiority. And then I brought my old friends with me. It was easy to strongarm them into the roll. A few words here and there, a little reluctant role playing session, and suddenly they seemed to fall right in line. I was their great barbarian leader again, and they my loyal horde. The metamorphosis was astounding to the teachers and aides.

Naturally, I became captain of the team. I pushed every one of my teammates to be their very best. I’d add the occasional affirmation with talk of being the perfect jocks, one team, one unit, working as one, that sort of thing. For a time, I think we actually did. It was strange to lead such a group. One minute, I’d scratch an itch or flex a muscle, and suddenly I’d feel that strange sort of tingle, and I’d turn to see the rest of my ‘bros’ had done the same. Every time it happened, we’d just stare at each other, blink, and laugh that deep husky chuckle that came so naturally now.

School hardly mattered to any of us. We’d pass, and that was all that mattered. But, of course, in due time, reality began to set in. College was coming up, and while many of us were scouted for our incredible skill in sports, we all knew somewhere in the backs of our heads that being the dumb jocks we were couldn’t last for much longer.

Coming out of that fantasy had to be one of the hardest things I’ve ever done in my life. My first semester of college was brutal, and my friends felt much the same. One or two of them never could bring themselves out of the world I’d woven for them. They still play in the NFL, though one of them, unfortunately, is dealing with some very serious charges. I feel responsible for that to an extent. True, his will is his own, but I molded him into what he is. I pushed him to be competitive, to grow, to become so aggressive and violent. You have to be, if you want to play professionally. I just never thought he’d take it this far.

*Sigh*

Once I’d finally stumbled out from that cloud of being the dumb jock, I realized I still hadn’t truly found out who I am, what I could do and be. I’d limited myself, because of this dream I’d been living for so many years. I was attractive and muscular, but those traits weren’t going to be assets in a college classroom. They were only a hindrance in this new and alien world that I’d suddenly found myself in.

High school is meant to prepare you for college, but since I didn’t pay attention in high school, I didn’t develop the skills necessary for my work. I had to get a tutor to catch up.

That tutor and my lit professors saved me from what could have been a terrible fate. Lucrative, perhaps, but certainly terrible. I would’ve been stuck either as a model or possibly a male escort with the way I was going. I didn’t want to be a stripper. I could’ve gotten into manual labor, if I’d wanted to take that route, I suppose. As for professionals, the odds of making pro were infinitesimally small, and I didn’t want to risk it, once we’d had that first sobering talk.

It’s amazing how quickly my imaginary world was torn down by this one person’s words. I actually cried when it happened, you know, but it was necessary for me to see the world for what it was, if I was ever going to grow enough to find my place in it. I’ll always be grateful to him for that, because without that sight, I never would have awakened the academic in me.

I devoured all manner of literature and works ranging from fiction to non-fiction. The classics, the advanced, theses, journals, fantasy. You name it, I would read it. I learned, and as I learned, I found my mind expanding faster than I could have ever imagined. A whole new universe had opened itself up to me, and I drank it greedily.

Sleep didn’t really seem to be a bother to me. I just kept thinking to myself that I didn’t need sleep, and I found that I didn’t. It was nice from time to time for the sake of dreams, but it wasn’t really necessary. *Chuckle* You wouldn’t believe the number of studies doctors had me participate in when they found out.

I found myself in need of glasses, eventually, as my eye sight began to strain and I became near-sighted. It wasn’t a major loss, though. Glasses were great to use off-field, and I could use contacts when I played. Yes, I still played sports. I had to, if I was going to keep up my scholarship.

As you’re aware, I graduated with honors. While I did grow past most of my old self, there is one thing that did remain with me, a sense of competition. I drove myself to be the very best I could be in every field I participated in. And as a result, I eventually received doctorates and degrees in a variety of them. I crafted a new world for myself, one where I could indeed be the very best. And I realized that the best in academics and the best in sports didn’t have to be mutually exclusive.

And where does that leave me now? Well, as you know, I participated in a variety of contests for bodybuilding and strength testing. And I was fortunate enough to win this year’s Mister Universe. Some call me a muscle god. That’s half true.

You see, I’ve discovered that these stories I weave have a ... well, for lack of a better word, power behind them. Each time I tell one, it seems to come true. I dreamed of becoming Mister Universe, told a story, and then achieved the reality. I wove the tale of both worlds coexisting, and here I stand before you, the proper balance between the great muscular man and the inner nerd.

I can perceive whole galaxies and picture the worlds that reside within them. I craft a tale of travelling, and suddenly I’m there. I walk among men and I can see their hearts, what makes them tick, their desires, their fears, their worlds that they’ve built. And I’ve found that I can alter them on a whim.

All the research I’ve performed indicates that these are the attributes attributed specifically to two entities: either superheroes or gods. Considering nothing about me seems to feel super, and the fact I haven’t seemed to age all that much in the last couple of decades, I’m fairly certain that I’m closer to the latter. Fantasy would likely classify me as a younger god. I’m not certain how it happened, nor am I sure why. I simply know that it is. And I’m grateful for that gift.

Now I’m content to simply live my life with the prize money I’ve earned and focus on learning and growing. I love analyzing a person’s story, picking it apart and putting it back together again, so I can understand how they tick. And, occasionally, if I should happen to feel particularly generous, I add a little to that story.

Now, seeing as I’ve been so open with my story, how about we take a look at yours?

Maybe I’ll give you a gift, too.

The House of the Rising Guns

“You think he’s gonna come out?” the first of the bullies asked.

Grant rolled his eyes as he folded his toned arms and stared at the white door. The old house had been abandoned for years, and they’d seen to it that their little freshie would be scared out of his mind, thanks to all the little surprises they’d cooked up. “Little nerd probably cried himself to sleep last night.” He strode out to the porch and thumped heavily on the door. “Yo, Jackson! You can come out now!” he shouted.

The door slowly creaked open to reveal the barest trappings of a cloth over a long rectangular surface that most likely was a mirror. Grant’s eyes widened when a wall of muscle lumbered out onto the porch, instead of the weak asthmatic he had come to enjoy teasing. The brim of the boy’s cap cast a shadow over his chiseled square jaw, and a sleeveless tanktop that read FOX with a fox head next to it on its front had replaced the hoodie he’d worn the night before.

The muscle man’s arms rose in a double bicep flex to expose the patches of hair that had grown out his armpits. The bullies watched in awe and surprise as that hair lightened before their eyes from a dark auburn to a bright gold. Veins snaked out over the sculpted curves and ridges of his arms, while his pectorals and lats bulged and expanded in the morning light.

He didn’t seem to recognize them as he looked down on the bullies. “’Sup, bros?” he lowed in a deep stuffy voice.

“Jackson?” Grant asked disbelievingly.

“The one n’only.” He let out a low deep guffaw as he posed and flexed in front of the boys. “This place is fucking ace! You guys should totally join me for my morning workout. They’ve got a whole gym in here! Treadmills, weights, rowing machines, the works!” He groaned in pleasure and rolled his eyes. “And the kitchen! All the supps a bro could ask for. You’ve gotta come see, guys,” he gushed.

“Come ... see....”

Jackson recoiled as he felt one of his possy shoulder past him to step heavily onto the porch. The kid’s eyes were glassy as he stared into Jackson’s own, and he swayed on his feet.

Jackson sneered. “Knew I’d get at least one of you to wanna come.” He clapped his thick hand on the kid’s shoulder. “Welcome to the House of the Rising Guns, bro.”

Grant gaped as he watched the shirt starting to ride up on his former crony, followed by the sound of creaking denim. The kid’s arms rose to mirror Jackson’s.

“Sun’s out, guns out,” he said with a chuckle.

“That’s right, bro. Come on in. Let me give you the grand tour.”

Grant gaped after the pair as the door creaked shut with a heavy slam.

After three solid minutes of gaping and running through the conversation in his head, he finally managed to say, “... What the fuck just happened?” He scratched a pectoral absently as he turned to his remaining two underlings. “Let’s get out of here,” he said. The other two nodded numbly as they strode away from the building. They didn’t notice how tight their shoes had become, nor the way their shirts had begun to cling to their torsos.

Jackson smirked as he watched them depart from behind one of the tinted windows. “They’ll be back,” he said to his new companion.

“Bro....” the other replied as he pumped a set of heavy dumbbells in either hand and watched his shirt slowly get torn apart in the process.

Jackson chuckled. “That’s a good little bro.”

One of my followers said he was getting bored of the usual dumbing down tfs that I’d been doing, so I thought I’d mix it up with this one and plant it in my Omnistore universe. Hope you all enjoy.

Going Medieval

Trent looked over the simple worn garment and sighed. The shopkeeper had promised the item would be properly authentic, but the thing was far too large. He’d be swallowed by it, if he tried to wear it. The thing would barely hold to the edge of his shoulders.

“Just try it. I find my costumes fit my clients just right in the end,” the owner had said with a smirk that looked very much like a sneer as the teeth on the dark fox head revealed themselves.

How this enigmatic Ronoc had managed to create such a detailed and realistic costume, Trent would never know, but he was willing to do practically anything to look good for the party.

He sighed as he pulled the simple pants from the hangar and drew them up his legs. The extra material pooled on the ground in a rippling puddle of cloth as he cinched up a leather belt with an intricate metal skull that grinned out at the changing room mirror. Then came the shirt. As he suspected, the material felt worn, and draped heavily over his frame. It felt more like a night gown than it did a medieval garment. The lack of sleeves certainly didn’t help that image. At most, this shirt could have been deemed a summer garment for a peasant.

“It’s too big,” he called through the door.

“Just give it a moment to sink in,” Ronoc’s voice called back. Trust me, you’ll feel right at home in it soon enough.”

“Clearly, you and I have different ideas of a proper form-fitting costume,” Trent said as he reached for the clasp on the belt. “I’m taking it off.” He’d just seized the clasp when his whole body spasmed and his hands jerked away from the metal. “What the hell?” he gasped. “It shocked me!” He reached over and probed the belt experimentally. The metal felt cold as ice, but no jolt shook his frame this time. His breathing came faster as his cheeks flushed. The colder the buckle felt, the warmer the room seemed to become.

“Patience is very important in my services, you know,” Ronoc’s voice carried over the door. “It simply wouldn’t do for you to take off the costume before it’s finished its work.”

“W-work? What work?” Trent’s voice cracked as he asked.

“You’ll see. Phase one should be underway by now. Go ahead and watch. It’s quite the enjoyable experience for those who seek power, or so I’ve been told.”

Trent leaned against the wall of the room as the dizziness took him. His skin tingled along his scalp, ears, cheeks, and face. He huffed, then whipped around. He could’ve sworn he felt someone touching him, but no one was there. Again the sensation arose, more like a gentle caress than the teasing he’d received in school.

“What the hell...?”

“It’s perfectly natural to feel certain pleasurable sensations as you change. I recommend you allow them to come,” Ronoc said calmly. “The sooner you enjoy them, the sooner we can move forward with finishing your costume.”

“What are you--?” Trent gasped as he felt a warmth building in his crotch, followed by a swelling between his legs. He groaned as he spread his legs apart to make room for the impossibility he knew was happening down there. His eyes rolled in the back of his head as the mysterious specter went back to work with a vengeance. Knots were kneaded, flesh rubbed down, all while the heat spread and the pleasure rose. His shoulders slumped as his jaw went slack.

“Feels good, doesn’t it?” Ronoc asked teasingly.

Trent could only groan again as he heard the undeniable scrape of stubble grate in his ears while he felt the surface of the hairs being pulled by his mysterious masseuse. He barely even heard the snap and crack as his jaw realigned and his shoulders expanded. The sensation of his feet growing longer and thicker left him swaying unsteadily. He huffed as he leaned against the side of the mirror and watched in a drunken haze as his chest broadened and his torso rose. There was muscle there, and proper tone. His skin darkened to a healthy tan, while the edges of his hair bleached to a suntouched blond with darker tones beneath.

He felt the surge of pressure as his Adam's apple jutted forward and his neck’s muscles expanded with his now significantly broader shoulders. He barely heard the rustle of the fabric as it rose from the floor, though he recognized the gentle pull against his skin as the shirt rubbed his torso.

Finally, the endless assault of pleasure and heat stopped. Trent panted to catch his breath and center himself. Then he stared into the mirror and gaped.

“Is that ... me?” he asked. His clutched at his throat as he heard his new deeper voice for the first time. His square face and chiseled jaw jutted with masculine edges under the light. A shadow was cast over his dark eyes from his brow, giving him an attractive smolder that many a girl would swoon over. His beard had grown in sufficiently to cover and accentuate his chin and cheeks as he puckered and spread his lips to get a proper look at his changes.

“I told you my costumes fit their hosts well,” Ronoc said with a wicked chortle.

“I’m ... big,” Trent marveled.

“Oh, we’re not finished yet,” Ronoc purred. Trent could practically hear the sneer behind the words.

“Not finished? What’re you--?” Fire burned in his veins as his hands clenched and unclenched. The appendages swelled to twice their size as his veins stood out against his skin. He roared as he felt that familiar tingle that seeped into his skin and deep to the bone. His jaw snapped again as two sharp teeth jutted out from his lower lip to rise on either side of his face. The blond faded as the darker hair beneath consumed it, darkening from sunny to sandy to brown to black. It lengthened down to his shoulders as taut skin strained against the rapid pace of his swelling muscles. The healthy tan gradually darkened to a murky brown with hints of swamp green. Finally, the green overtook it as the fire drove itself into his eyes and he watched the iris bleed into a glowing ruby. His brow jutted forward into a shelf that left his face with a perpetual menacing appearance about it.

He ground his new stronger teeth together as he bore the pain. The shirt now strained against his titanic form, and the pants clung tightly to the muscles beneath. He heard the swish of cloth and looked down in surprise to see the belt buckle had expanded into a far larger and hideous skull that held a loin cloth in place over the pants. Its eyes also glowed red as he felt the burning anger surge through him. Rage at the ones who had dealt so dishonorably with him, bloodlust for revenge, and an overpowering urge to fight, control, conquer.

The new orc roared, and the skull’s mouth opened in a terrible pantomime. Its maw gaped hungrily as the war cry died off, and Trent’s shoulders heaved against the now paper-thin material of his shirt. His new sharp ears jutted out to ether side of him, peeking through the veil of his black hair. He turned, and the hair whipped wildly behind him as he slammed the door open to stalk up to the store provider. He towered over the puny creature now, yet the creature remained the picture of calm. He wasn’t sure how he felt about that. Part of him was outraged. Part of him wanted to laugh. Part of him felt respect for the lack of fear. He wasn’t sure which part he wanted to listen to yet.

“Well now, Durog, you certainly do look fantastic. I told you my costumes worked well.”

Trent furrowed his heavy brow. “Durog?”

“Well, you couldn’t well keep calling yourself Trent. That’s a human name.”

A wave of involuntary disgust rose in the new orc, and his face contorted in distaste.

“I see you agree with me. And yet you’re confused by that agreement.” Ronoc shrugged. “It is how it is. You get the form, you get the instincts that go with it. Just accept the new name. Trust me, it’ll feel better for you, if you do.”

The belt’s eyes flashed. Durog’s eyes flashed. “I’ll need armor,” he growled.

“Naturally,” Ronoc agreed. “A warrior should always be ready for battle.”

“On that, we are agreed.”

“And a chief should always be ready to lead.” Ronoc sneered as he brushed the belt. “You won’t be the only orc walking the streets tonight, if you play your cards right. Just let Durog do the driving. The belt will take care of the rest.”

Durog sneered. “I believe I’ve decided I like you after all, Ronoc.”

Ronoc sneered back. “I thought you might. Just do your best not to forget Trent. Do that and, well, you might well be stuck as Durog forever.”

Durog smirked as a Minotaur tossed him a wicked battleaxe. It carved through the air with a familiar weight that made him grin.

“Would that be such a bad thing?”

Reblogs are definitely coming. This is beautiful, and it needs to be shared.

I’ve been holding on to this for a while. In… September? I was having a Really Bad Time. So I ended up making this comic to sort of… sort through some stuff. It really helped.

I hope maybe it can resonate with other people, too.

Reblogs would be very appreciated, so more people can see it <3

Don’t Look

One year. One whole fucking year, you’d been trapped in this hellhole. One whole year of weights and shakes, supps and bros, grunts and flexes, and that constant arrogant son of a bitch that made you into the MUSCLE GOD you are today.

...

Damn it. You can’t even think like you used to anymore. Bro was clever, for a dumb pile of meat. No sooner do the words cross your mind than your body acts on its own. You hear that deep husky chuckle as your voice echoes and rebounds through the gym. You hardly even recognize it anymore. It just sounds so ... dull, so empty.

Didn’t used to like him. Hell, like never came into it. You loathed him. Kept strutting his stuff, showing off, bringing home girls and bros alike at all hours of the day and night. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t right. You had a schedule to keep, damn it. You had to WORK OUT.

...

WORK OUT

...

WORK OU--

Damn it! You had to go to your job. You had to SLEEP DEEP AND FLEX.

...

It’s so hard to fight this thing. Your head jumps tracks every time you try to finish a sentence, to think about the old life. Everything just jumps right back to the GYM and WEIGHTS.

“FUCK!” you snarl. You wish you’d never worn those stupid AWESOME HEADPHONES.

You remember when you blew up at him. The look on his face, the blindside, the anger, and a glimmer of something else. Curiosity? Intrigue? Or had you just imagined that?

Mmm ... you’d love to imagine some hot a--

NO! Can’t give in to base instincts. That’s what he wants.

Though that one blonde, ... damn was she fine. Her voice. Her hips. You’re ashamed of what you did, but ... at the same time, ...

“I want more,” you whisper. You clench a hand into a fist. “Damn it....”

You remember the gift. He said to consider them an apology, a way to compromise, so you could, “sleep deep, bro.”

The dumbbells clack with every lunge you take now. Your body follows a set rhythm that you cannot break. Those words, those thoughts, those actions. Carefully planned, every last one. And you didn’t realize until it was too late.

Your headphones became your collar, its white noise your leash.

You’re still not sure what was real and what was dream. Strip clubs, health bars, gym work, muscle ache, kneeling, listening, a shadow, a phantom figure posing you like some giant mannequin.

It takes a moment to realize you’re now reflecting that exact pose in the mirror.

“Damn it,” you swear. “I’m such a dumbass.”

You feel your body shudder at that word. You know your programming approves, and he would, too.

You can’t remember when you first found out the truth. You just remember the anger and rage boiling inside, followed immediately by his crisp command. And suddenly, you were on the floor doing pushups. The anger was fueling you to break your last plateau.

You look down at your swollen arms.

You broke that plateau, all right.

Every move you tried to make against him, he would counter neatly, as a chess master would a novice.

You lost your job.

“Numbers are too hard for a dumbass like you.”

You lost your friends.

“You’ve got, like, nothing in common with them anymore, bro.”

The library banned you. You’re still not sure why. Maybe he greased a few palms. Big bro was hella rich.

“Who needs books, when you’ve got weights, bro?”

He blocked the channels with a password, so you could only watch athletic events.

“Come on, bro. Big game’s on. You know you wanna watch it....”

Even the beard was his idea.

“It’ll make you look like a total rugged badass, bro! Who wouldn’t want that?”

You were completely surrounded.

“Let me introduce you to some of my best bros...”

Always watched.

“Here, let me spot you, little bro.”

Stripped.

“You need some new duds, bro.”

Dressed.

“Aw, hell yeah. Now that’s what I call ALPHA!”

Fed.

“Chicken and rice. Gotta get your lean proteins, bro.”

... Programmed.

“Time to SLEEP DEEP AND FLEX, bro. Got something new for ya....”

And you let him. The plastic sheath on one of the machines creaks and groans under your muscular grip as you grit your teeth, all while the white noise continues to play, pushing you, motivating you to work harder and grow your meat. The bulge straining in your crotch would have left you embarrassed at one point. Now, all you can do is stare at it blankly and chuckle, like it’s all some sort of game, and you’re winning.

... But how much have you lost?

Then the static cuts off. You hear the ringtone from your cell phone.

Your neck strains as the muscles you’ve spent so long developing pulse and writhe under the skin. There’s only one person who’d call you this late anymore.

And you hate his guts, even as his words push you to obey and respect him.

“‘Sup, bro?”

His voice on the other end is smug. “Just checking in on my new best bro.”

You try to bite back the glow of pride swelling in your chest. You don’t succeed.

“Was just getting in some extra sets before coming home. I’m fucking starved. What’s for dinner?”

“Your favorite.”

You moan. “Ribs?” Damn him for using your love of barbecue against you.

“I figured you deserved a reward, after all your hard work.”

You flex, as though he were there. It’s natural, automatic. It’s ... how you react to a lot of things now, actually.

“It has been a whole year,” he noted. “And I wanted to celebrate with you. We’re pulling out all the stops. Hell, I’ve even got a special gift lined up for you, if you want it.”

“Don’t I have to accept all your ‘gifts,’ anyway?”

“Was that a note of bitterness I detected?”

“Maybe just a little,” you admit. You can’t lie to him. He made sure of that. Bros before hoes. Bros don’t keep secrets.

“So, you’re still not happy?”

“You should know. You are my roommate.”

“I thought you would’ve warmed up to it by now. You flirt like a champ, tackle weights like a beast, and you practically baptized yourself with beer at the superbowl party.”

You shrug your titanic shoulders. “I’m a bro, bro. You kinda m--. M--.” You furrow your brow. You can’t say the word.

“I made you like this. Is that what you’re trying to say?”

You nod.

After a period of silence, he spoke up. “You do realize I can’t see you, right?”

The sound of your hand slapping your forehead was enough to set him off laughing.

“Fuck you,” you snarl. S’not funny!” Finally, a loophole in your programming you can exploit.

He was silent for a time. “No, I suppose it’s not. It wasn’t funny when you challenged me either. You killed my date that night. Not cool, bro.”

“And that justifies putting me on a training regimen?” You couldn’t outright call it brainwashing or hypnosis. Those words had been forbidden.

“Considering all the names you called me that night, yeah. I wanted you to see just what it was like to be a bro, to think like a bro, to act like a bro. I wanted you to know just how it feels to have society judging you every second of every day for your choices, always thinking you’re just some dumb musclehead waiting to show off. Never taking you seriously, never giving you the time of day. I wanted you to see the sacrifices we had to make to get where we are with the whole world laughing in our faces. So yes, I think your ‘training regimen’ was well deserved.”

You could practically see his glare over the line.

“I may be a dumbass and a jerk at times, but at least I own it. I told you what I had planned. I let you know in advance, and you never said a word to me, not one word. Did you really think I wouldn’t have listened, if you’d just pulled me aside in private and asked? But no, you were too scared to. You thought the big bad alpha bro was gonna beat you up the moment you stepped out of line. You’re not scared of me now, are you?”

“No.”

“And why do you think that is?”

You grit your teeth again.

“Judging by your silence, you know the right answer. You’re angry at me, but you’re not scared of me, because you’ve gotten to know me.” He was silent for a time. He didn’t have to worry about you closing the call. Only he could end the conversation. “I’ll tell you what. It’s clear enough that you’ve learned your lesson, even if you’re not willing to admit it. Part of that is the pride I helped build, and part of it is the pride you had before I even started helping you. So, I’m going to give you a choice, or rather, a chance. If you want to be your old self again in every way, you just have to do one little thing. I’ll even make sure to pay you back for all your troubles and losses.”

“... I’m listening.”

“All you have to do is keep yourself from admiring yourself in the mirror. No flexing, no posing, no standing still to look over your changes. If you can keep that up for the rest of your workout time without doing any exercises or fitness-related stretches, then I’ll reverse everything I’ve done in your head. Fail, though, and you have to pay the price.”

“Which is?”

“You get to say goodbye to your old self entirely of your own free will. You’ll accept being a bro, embrace it, love it, revel in it. The bro will be you, and you will be the bro. You’ll become the dimwitted musclehead you feared. The gym will be your home, your fellow bros your family. Sports and weights, muscle and shakes, and letting your meat do all the thinking for you will be your new norm, and you’ll love every second of it.”

“And if I don’t accept?”

“Then we continue as we have.”

“Let me get this straight. So, it’s either try and possibly be free, or don’t and wind up with the failure option eventually happening no matter what.”

“Exactly.”

“... You’re on.”

“Excellent. Good luck, little bro.”

The call cut off. The static returned, and you took your seat as you reviewed your phone. Just had to keep distracted. That was all.

The first few minutes were a breeze, but after that the restlessness set in. Your body wanted to move, and you knew the recording was reinforcing that need to egg you on. You leaned forward and pulled up your phone’s apps. Your brainwashing had forced you to delete the entertainment apps and left you only with fitness trackers and camera.

You clicked into the camera app and scrolled through your selfies from the start to now. Big bro had done a good job. You had to admit that. That uncertainty solidifying into a cocky smirk. The clothes shifting to large, then extra large, then XXL. Sleeves being torn. Seams burst. It left you feeling breathless. You squirmed in your chair as you felt another surge of instinct scream at you to act, to move, to work out.

Your chest heaved as your triceps contracted under the sudden shift in your posture. You looked desperately down at your dangling necklace swinging back and forth. The chain was designed to highlight the amount of muscle you’d built in your pectorals. Surely, it could help keep you distracted for a few more minutes.

You fiddled with the chain, listening to its links hiss and chink as you hefted and manipulated it. You dug it into your skin a few times to try and distract yourself from that gnawing urge. Toes tapped, heels bounced. It was so difficult!

Why?

Your fingers played with the exercise band to keep your mind occupied, but that didn’t help. Your phone glitched, and the appc losed out. You opened the camera again, and caught a snatch of calf between all the weights.

Your breath became shallow as your hand shook.

Come on. You’re stronger than this. Think about the consequences. Think about ... about ... what were their names again? 

You could barely recall the faces of your former friends. They were more blurs than proper images. Blurs that slowly hardened into thick, square jaws and piercing eyes. The familiar impact of dice rolling on the table was replaced with the equally familiar clank of weights smacking against one another and the retort of guns on the shooting range.

Clapping hands became back slaps. Hand shakes were fist bumps. Exultant cheers and jubilant hugs were replaced with grunts, roars, and chest bumps.

That’s ... that’s not....

Tackling.

I...

Videogames with wrestling.

Can’t....

Soda cans replaced with beer.

No....

Delicate hands brushing over your beastly arms. “Hey there, stud. How about a gun show?”

Your legs are spread wide, your eyes unfocused. Weight and bars and chicks and muscle and posing and wrestling and ... and ... and....

“Heads up, Bro!”

The camera flash had been so intense back then. You blinked. You heard a shutter click.

You gaped at the image on your phone. Your thumbs moved on autopilot. You hit send.

Back at your apartment, your Big Bro smiles at the image and its accompanying text as he pulls the ribs out of the oven.

Better have those fucking ribs ready, Bro. I’m starving.

Anxiety

The guilt you feel for a wrong you never knew.

The fear of hurting another to push them away.

The worry that you will never be what the world expects.

The constant constriction in your chest that squeezes like a vice.

It is a master of infiltration and disguise.

Its target, peace. Its calling card, perception.

Its compatriots: fear and doubt.

Its occasional ally: pride.

Spawned by: love, hate, lust,

MISUNDERSTANDING.

And there are times where it cannot be removed, cannot be destroyed. You cannot simply shoot it. One may mask it, but that disguise often makes it stronger.

One may seek to control it. But control does not come easily, and can be an expensive venture.

So what is the antidote? Is there an antidote?

Not always.

But there are things that help:

Openness.

Patience.

Empathy.

Love unfeigned.

Gentleness.

Kindness.

Hope.

These things are there, and they will come.

But only if you SPEAK.

Only if you ACT.

So.

Will you be the hostage,

or will you try again?

For me, I will ACT.

For me, I will try.

For me, I will do.

And we will see what will be.

Together.