TRANSFEMME T4T CALDRE IS ON THE WAY ANON WHO ASKED FOR IT!!! I PROMISE!!! TODAY HAS BEEN SO BUSY!!

TRANSFEMME T4T CALDRE IS ON THE WAY ANON WHO ASKED FOR IT!!! I PROMISE!!! TODAY HAS BEEN SO BUSY!!

(fun fact: i am now officially living in my college dorm)

what do you think chris ended up doing with the note they left him?

okay so, i know he will 99.99% not be able to keep the note. the police would never let that happen. still ! this post is going to ignore that.

chris keeps the note on him at all times. it’s in his wallet, but as time goes on and the paper starts to rip, he puts it up on his wall. a lot of people hate it. his friends ask him to take it down. he never ever will.

it was the last thing his cousin ever said to him, even if it’s not spoken aloud. it makes him sad. it makes him happy. it makes him really angry. why did they involve him in this? why did they go through with zero day? why did they leave him alone in this world?

he keeps the note till the day he dies. he wouldn’t trade it for a billion dollars or eternal happiness. it’s basically fused to his heart at this point. he can see the handwriting on his eyelids as he goes to sleep. he can hear his cousin reading it out loud. he can feel the rustling of the paper even when he isn’t touching it.

Write cal getting it up the ass from me

let’s talk about cal’s obsession with blood.

in the school’s security camera footage, we see cal staring at the blood on the floor multiple times. he even says “i can see my reflection… in his blood” when staring at a body. in the midst of zero day, the most intense and important day of cal’s life, he still takes quite a bit of time to admire the blood on the floor, something andre doesn’t really comment on. he loves it. it ignites something within him.

makes me think about him sh-ing. how he’d stare at the thick red dripping onto the floor, watching it pool up by his feet. he’d get in the shower and stand under the hot water with his gaze on the drain as the water turns a deep crimson. he doesn’t even blink. he’ll be anywhere and pick and tear at the scabs on his arms. it gives him a rush that he can’t get from anywhere else.

heavy tw

been thinking about this for a while… binge disorder andre.

he stays on a diet during the day, bringing his own lunch to school and watching his calories all the time. his obsession with food is always blamed on being an athlete. whenever anyone asks him about it, he mentions some nutrition book he read or a diet a favorite runner of his has. he works out nonstop, even at home. he’s constantly doing push-ups, sit-ups, and jumping jacks in his room.

when darkness falls, he starts eating. he sits out in the kitchen while mel meows at his feet for food. there have been nights where andre is crying while eating and begging himself to stop, but he can’t. he feels disgusting after, often throwing up or working out until he has to start getting ready for school.

there’s a scale by his bed, right by his nightstand. he checks it every morning and bases his entire day around it. he’s passed out multiple times during track practices and meets, but he convinces himself it’s because he’s been eating too much.

it’s a vicious cycle. he can’t escape it.

i love you guys