Red Dead Redemption Two Undead Nightmare This Blah Blah.. Uncle Spread It.. Swanson Spread It.. Micah

Red dead redemption two undead nightmare this… blah blah.. Uncle spread it.. Swanson spread it.. Micah spread it..

DUTCH SPREAD IT.

NO ONE THINKS ABOUT THAT

What if Dutch spread the zombie curse to the rest of the gang? Could you imagine the pure CHAOS⁉️ No one would know what to do, Dutch would be incredibly strong willed as a zombie and would totally turn his entire family (unbeknownst to him)

Then of course Arthur and Hosea are next in command for leadership, and eventually Hosea gets bit, then John, then Micah, then whoever..

Long story short, I want to see zombie Dutch Van Der Linde

No I’m not thinking about Hosea Matthews living up to his name and being the prophet of doom in the Van Der Linde Gang..

But not only that, I’m also thinking about how Arthur seems to be turning into his own prophet of doom.

I always think about these two Hosea quotes that were both directed at Dutch:

“They want to parlay? it’s a trap!” Which is what he predicted, and Arthur agrees. Of course, Hosea and Arthur’s opinions are overruled by Dutch and Micah, and Dutch, Arthur, and Micah meet up with Colm O’Driscoll. This leads to Arthur being bushwhacked and kidnapped by the O’Driscolls, and nearly beaten to death within an inch of his life, and shot point blank in the shoulder. Arthur barely makes it back to camp, when he brings up his and Hosea’s argument from earlier. “I told you it was a set up Dutch.”

The next quote I’d like to mention is:

“You’ll damn us all.” Which was of course a cutting remark Hosea shot Dutch’s way. This quote was said in the mission before Bronte’s death, which lead to the story- let’s just say- concluding.. (we all know how it ended for Hosea and the rest of the gang) Aka, Dutch damned them all.

And as for Arthur, we see him become Hosea in many ways in chapter 6. Before we play the mission: “That’s Murfree Country” Dutch states: “You sound like Hosea.” When Arthur suggests saving the women, and children (aka something that Hosea’s been talking about since chapter 1) and several times Micah makes comments on how Arthur is becoming like Hosea. Especially in the mission: “The Delights of Van Horn” you can have a hidden interaction with Micah where he mocks Arthur’s “whiny” tone and then states: “You almost make me miss Hosea.” both of these prove that the only thing Arthur became as he was inching closer to death is a carbon copy of his father figure/mentor.

The Sweet Sound of Music

This is a Vandermatthews fic I wrote based on a headcannon I had on how Dutch got his Phonograph he keeps in his tent 🫶

(This also includes a first Vandermatthews kiss, and some drunken dancing)

No I totally didn’t start getting tired and forget how to English towards the end.. wdym?? Anyways here it is 🙏💗

The evening became really drab as the sun began to set, another failed mission leading to a shootout. Thankfully they hadn’t experienced any casualties so it was more of a bruised ego than anything on the pair of hucksters. They bought a single bottle of whiskey with their combined pocket change to share between them.

“Shoulda robbed the bastard that sold us this shit, lord knows he overcharged us.” Dutch grumbled to Hosea. “ ‘s what we get I suppose, he knows our occupation..”

“hm.” Dutch replied unsatisfied with Hosea’s reasoning.

Hosea idly swirled the shared bottle. The two of them didn’t have a glass so they had to share it directly. They were as broke as a joke, and the only thing they had to feed themselves was a couple cans of beans and old venison wrapped up nicely in Hosea’s saddle bag, from when he went hunting a few days back.

“I’m so sick of beans, and lord knows I’ve had too much venison.” Dutch started, braking the silence. “We just need one good take- something to fill our pockets with things that sparkle, rather than lint.”

“I agree, being poor is awfully monotonous.” Hosea chuckled with the usual twinkle in his eye after saying something witty.

“Why don’t I start up that phonograph I found the other day?” Dutch suggested. “You know? To see if it works, of course.” He reasoned. “Sure..” Hosea smirked. Dutch inserted the wax Edison cylinder they found separately in an old cottage a week back.

“Hey, you know what this is?” Dutch asked Hosea from across the small cabin. “Looks like a block of dust to me.” Hosea replied, causing Dutch to roll his eyes. “I remember learning about these, few months ago, read about it in a newspaper, never did I think I’d find a real one!” Dutch exclaimed. The older man stepped closer. “Well enlighten me, Mr. Van Der Linde, what is it?”

“It’s a wax cylinder!” Dutch exclaimed, the light catching the excitement in his eyes. “Very impressive.” Hosea snarked. “It plays music!” Dutch smiled. “So what do I do? ask the lady here to sing for us?” Hosea snickered to himself. Dutch’s smile quickly dropped. “Well if you’re going to be such an ass about it, Mr. Matthews..” Dutch grumbled. “Oh come on Dutch, you know I’m joking.” Hosea reassured him. “How does it work?” Hosea asked smiling.

A couple days later, as if it were fate, they stumbled upon a small, absent camp. The campers were clearly away fishing at the stream a few miles down the hill. And there it was. A phonograph, with Dutch’s name written all over it. And boy was it a hassle to quickly hoist up and strap to their horses, but it wasn’t like it was their first time stealing something of this size.

“Who’d leave something like this unattended?” Dutch asked shouting over the wind and hoofbeats. “Clearly someone who doesn’t know you exist, Dutch.” Hosea replied promptly.

Dutch wound the handle and closely listened for any sign of sound from within the horn. Hosea watched in curiosity, brain half buzzed from the whiskey he was nursing. “Aha!” Dutch exclaimed pleased. “It does work.” He smiled at Hosea. “Good, we can sell that thing for two bottles then.” Hosea joked. “Ain’t happening, I’m going to have this phonograph for as long as I live.” Dutch smiled.

“Too drunk to appreciate good music then?” Dutch asked. “No, I’m right as rain.” Hosea said, feigning total sobriety. “Good, cause I’ve got no dance partner.” Dutch hinted, swaying over to Hosea. “That is if you can dance.” Hosea snarked. “Let me prove it to you then.” Dutch charmed. Normally Dutch’s charisma wouldn’t work on a fully sober Hosea, but Dutch seemed to have the upper hand on this one.

Dutch took Hosea’s right hand in his left, and held the small of his back. While Hosea followed suit holding him around to his upper back. “I didn’t know you were so lady like Hosea, why, I would’ve figured you’d gone to an all girl’s finishing school.” Dutch joked. Hosea shook his head. “Sleep with one eye open Mr. Van Der Linde, I’ll teach you proper knife etiquette.”

“Oh ho!” Dutch barked a laugh. “You don’t mean that.” “We’ll see.” Hosea replied. The music was soft, with a slow beginning, and they swayed rhythmically, save for their weakened knees from the slight drunkenness they shared. “I knew you weren’t quite too old for dancing.” Dutch spoke softly to the man in his arms. “I’m not sure what you mean, I’m in my prime.” Hosea mumbled, and Dutch chucked. “No doubt.” Dutch said smiling.

Hosea glanced up at Dutch’s eyes and Dutch returned the gesture. His eyes were round and youthful, and always seemed to catch every twinkle of light surrounding the coffee brown centers. Hosea thought his were getting duller with age, however, Dutch seemed to think otherwise. Dutch could always get lost in Hosea’s eyes, they were deep reddened russet, and seemed to have a ring of honey gold in the center, and they were Dutch’s most prized possessions.

They subconsciously maneuvered closer to each other as they continued to sway. The air between them was warm and smelled strongly of a shared whiskey bottle, and Dutch’s cigar from earlier. Hosea dragged his hand up Dutch’s shoulder and cupped the nape of his neck, his raven black curls sat between Hosea’s fingers. Returning the gesture, Dutch removed his hand from Hosea’s and cupped his cheek, to which Hosea gently planted his other hand on Dutch’s waist.

Hosea gently closed the gap between them, and met his lips to Dutch’s. Both of their eyes flicked closed. Their lips slipped apart and they closed the gap again and again, Dutch hummed in pleasure and readjusted himself to hold both sides of Hosea’s face, as they continued the motion. Hosea knew he shouldn’t be doing this, but he couldn’t help himself, he already accepted the he “wasn’t going to be let in the pearly gates, what’s another sin to add to the list?” He drunkenly reasoned. Besides it was just them, no one else had to know.

The song had ended and they broke apart blushing two innocent school girls. They starred at each other for a beat when Hosea placed his hand on Dutch’s shoulder, the vulnerability of it all sobered him up a notch. Hosea nervously darted his eyes at the ground around them. “I better get some sleep if we are to have any luck on finding a score.” Hosea started quietly. “Sure.” Dutch managed as they broke their embrace and Hosea walked to his tent. “Good night ‘Sea.” Dutch spoke up sheepishly. “Night, Dutch.” Hosea smiled back at him.

John goin and breaking the peace again..

(Arthur 26, John 16. July, 1889.)

I imagine Arthur rips him a new one whenever he catches him.

My headcannon is that John breaks the peace and Arthur gives him a piece of his mind. (Classic brother relationship)

“Good Job, John.”

April, 1887, Bank Robbery in Baker City, Oregon. Criminals Still at large;

Dutch Van Der Linde, 32 years.

Hosea Matthews, 43 years.

Arthur Morgan, 24 years.

John Marston, 14 years.

All wanted dead or alive.

My favorite Hosea ambient line is: “I used to play a lot of poker, then Dutch got two royal flushes in one night, I figured Dominoes was more my speed.”

It makes me laugh so hard because I can just imagine Hosea slamming down his cards and dagger glaring Dutch, meanwhile Dutch is giving him that twinkley-eyed look.

Hosea: “YOURE CHEATING, I KNOW IT, AND AGAINST YOUR OWN KIN, UNBELIEVABLE.”

Dutch: *laughing* “I ain’t cheating, and it isn’t my fault that you’re slowing down old man.”

Hosea: *muttering to himself and stomping away from the poker table* “two god damn royal flushes..”