Vandermatthews - Tumblr Posts
One of the things I least expected from joining the Tumblr RDR2 community is how we celebrate the fact that Hosea still fucks, every Friday.
But I am 100% here for Mr. Matthews’ appreciation every Friday.
(I’m not entirely sure who this was started by but I have an inkling that it was @roamingtigress , possibly? I’m not really sure)
Anyway, I know it’s too late but happy Hosea fucks Friday.
POV you’re reading a fic and the whole gang shows up ‼️🙂↕️
The Sweet Sound of Music
This is a Vandermatthews fic I wrote based on a headcannon I had on how Dutch got his Phonograph he keeps in his tent 🫶
(This also includes a first Vandermatthews kiss, and some drunken dancing)
No I totally didn’t start getting tired and forget how to English towards the end.. wdym?? Anyways here it is 🙏💗
The evening became really drab as the sun began to set, another failed mission leading to a shootout. Thankfully they hadn’t experienced any casualties so it was more of a bruised ego than anything on the pair of hucksters. They bought a single bottle of whiskey with their combined pocket change to share between them.
“Shoulda robbed the bastard that sold us this shit, lord knows he overcharged us.” Dutch grumbled to Hosea. “ ‘s what we get I suppose, he knows our occupation..”
“hm.” Dutch replied unsatisfied with Hosea’s reasoning.
Hosea idly swirled the shared bottle. The two of them didn’t have a glass so they had to share it directly. They were as broke as a joke, and the only thing they had to feed themselves was a couple cans of beans and old venison wrapped up nicely in Hosea’s saddle bag, from when he went hunting a few days back.
“I’m so sick of beans, and lord knows I’ve had too much venison.” Dutch started, braking the silence. “We just need one good take- something to fill our pockets with things that sparkle, rather than lint.”
“I agree, being poor is awfully monotonous.” Hosea chuckled with the usual twinkle in his eye after saying something witty.
“Why don’t I start up that phonograph I found the other day?” Dutch suggested. “You know? To see if it works, of course.” He reasoned. “Sure..” Hosea smirked. Dutch inserted the wax Edison cylinder they found separately in an old cottage a week back.
“Hey, you know what this is?” Dutch asked Hosea from across the small cabin. “Looks like a block of dust to me.” Hosea replied, causing Dutch to roll his eyes. “I remember learning about these, few months ago, read about it in a newspaper, never did I think I’d find a real one!” Dutch exclaimed. The older man stepped closer. “Well enlighten me, Mr. Van Der Linde, what is it?”
“It’s a wax cylinder!” Dutch exclaimed, the light catching the excitement in his eyes. “Very impressive.” Hosea snarked. “It plays music!” Dutch smiled. “So what do I do? ask the lady here to sing for us?” Hosea snickered to himself. Dutch’s smile quickly dropped. “Well if you’re going to be such an ass about it, Mr. Matthews..” Dutch grumbled. “Oh come on Dutch, you know I’m joking.” Hosea reassured him. “How does it work?” Hosea asked smiling.
A couple days later, as if it were fate, they stumbled upon a small, absent camp. The campers were clearly away fishing at the stream a few miles down the hill. And there it was. A phonograph, with Dutch’s name written all over it. And boy was it a hassle to quickly hoist up and strap to their horses, but it wasn’t like it was their first time stealing something of this size.
“Who’d leave something like this unattended?” Dutch asked shouting over the wind and hoofbeats. “Clearly someone who doesn’t know you exist, Dutch.” Hosea replied promptly.
Dutch wound the handle and closely listened for any sign of sound from within the horn. Hosea watched in curiosity, brain half buzzed from the whiskey he was nursing. “Aha!” Dutch exclaimed pleased. “It does work.” He smiled at Hosea. “Good, we can sell that thing for two bottles then.” Hosea joked. “Ain’t happening, I’m going to have this phonograph for as long as I live.” Dutch smiled.
“Too drunk to appreciate good music then?” Dutch asked. “No, I’m right as rain.” Hosea said, feigning total sobriety. “Good, cause I’ve got no dance partner.” Dutch hinted, swaying over to Hosea. “That is if you can dance.” Hosea snarked. “Let me prove it to you then.” Dutch charmed. Normally Dutch’s charisma wouldn’t work on a fully sober Hosea, but Dutch seemed to have the upper hand on this one.
Dutch took Hosea’s right hand in his left, and held the small of his back. While Hosea followed suit holding him around to his upper back. “I didn’t know you were so lady like Hosea, why, I would’ve figured you’d gone to an all girl’s finishing school.” Dutch joked. Hosea shook his head. “Sleep with one eye open Mr. Van Der Linde, I’ll teach you proper knife etiquette.”
“Oh ho!” Dutch barked a laugh. “You don’t mean that.” “We’ll see.” Hosea replied. The music was soft, with a slow beginning, and they swayed rhythmically, save for their weakened knees from the slight drunkenness they shared. “I knew you weren’t quite too old for dancing.” Dutch spoke softly to the man in his arms. “I’m not sure what you mean, I’m in my prime.” Hosea mumbled, and Dutch chucked. “No doubt.” Dutch said smiling.
Hosea glanced up at Dutch’s eyes and Dutch returned the gesture. His eyes were round and youthful, and always seemed to catch every twinkle of light surrounding the coffee brown centers. Hosea thought his were getting duller with age, however, Dutch seemed to think otherwise. Dutch could always get lost in Hosea’s eyes, they were deep reddened russet, and seemed to have a ring of honey gold in the center, and they were Dutch’s most prized possessions.
They subconsciously maneuvered closer to each other as they continued to sway. The air between them was warm and smelled strongly of a shared whiskey bottle, and Dutch’s cigar from earlier. Hosea dragged his hand up Dutch’s shoulder and cupped the nape of his neck, his raven black curls sat between Hosea’s fingers. Returning the gesture, Dutch removed his hand from Hosea’s and cupped his cheek, to which Hosea gently planted his other hand on Dutch’s waist.
Hosea gently closed the gap between them, and met his lips to Dutch’s. Both of their eyes flicked closed. Their lips slipped apart and they closed the gap again and again, Dutch hummed in pleasure and readjusted himself to hold both sides of Hosea’s face, as they continued the motion. Hosea knew he shouldn’t be doing this, but he couldn’t help himself, he already accepted the he “wasn’t going to be let in the pearly gates, what’s another sin to add to the list?” He drunkenly reasoned. Besides it was just them, no one else had to know.
The song had ended and they broke apart blushing two innocent school girls. They starred at each other for a beat when Hosea placed his hand on Dutch’s shoulder, the vulnerability of it all sobered him up a notch. Hosea nervously darted his eyes at the ground around them. “I better get some sleep if we are to have any luck on finding a score.” Hosea started quietly. “Sure.” Dutch managed as they broke their embrace and Hosea walked to his tent. “Good night ‘Sea.” Dutch spoke up sheepishly. “Night, Dutch.” Hosea smiled back at him.
My favorite Hosea ambient line is: “I used to play a lot of poker, then Dutch got two royal flushes in one night, I figured Dominoes was more my speed.”
It makes me laugh so hard because I can just imagine Hosea slamming down his cards and dagger glaring Dutch, meanwhile Dutch is giving him that twinkley-eyed look.
Hosea: “YOURE CHEATING, I KNOW IT, AND AGAINST YOUR OWN KIN, UNBELIEVABLE.”
Dutch: *laughing* “I ain’t cheating, and it isn’t my fault that you’re slowing down old man.”
Hosea: *muttering to himself and stomping away from the poker table* “two god damn royal flushes..”
Modern Au, Van Der Matthews headcannons !
(Happy HFF) :
Dutch + Hosea met at a college party through Susan
Dutch is a Philosophy professor and Hosea is an English professor at the same university
Both proposed at the same time, laughed, and Dutch accepted Hosea’s first. (You know the trope)
Adopted Arthur when he was 8, and then 2 years later decided they needed another one, so adopted John when he was a baby.
Dutch cannot cook for the life of him (1st reason they hired Pearson) but still tries to make Hosea breakfast in bed for his birthday/Father’s day. (He means well)
Hosea reads before bed, and pets Dutch’s hair/rubs his back. (It KNOCKS Dutch out)
John/Arthur addresses Dutch as “dad” and Hosea as “pa”
Hosea cannot physically sleep without white noise, which he ended up passing onto Dutch when they got married.
Dutch separated the physical fights, (between Arthur and John) Hosea separated the verbal fights.
Dutch/Hosea will give the other the silent treatment if they find out they continued watching a show without the other.
Have Arthur and John’s graduation photos out on display, (much to John’s dismay) and both are very different vibes (Arthur has a great smile and John was in his emo phase)
Dutch bought Hosea a Keurig one day after a bad argument. He was immediately forgiven.
Love their sons to BITS I tell you. Both have hoarded all pictures they’ve drawn throughout childhood, and they are stored in their own labeled boxes.
They FREAKED OUT whenever they discovered they were gonna be grandparents.
Cain is their dog. (Hosea bought him for Dutch one year on Christmas)
Dutch talks to his sons through texting: “Thinking of you 😘👍💗” and Hosea prefers phone calls.
Hosea has a green thumb, Dutch does NOT. (He’s killed a few plants while Hosea was away on business trips) (Hosea killed him)
Dutch is a: “Go ask your Pa.” Kinda dad.
Hosea is an “Elbows off the table” kind of dad.
Hosea assembles the Birthday/Christmas wishlists, Dutch goes and finds everything
More Vandermatthews modern AU headcannons!
(Since y’all liked the last one)
Here you go @soullessni 🫶
Hosea is/was VERY good at skating (both roller and ice) and taught Dutch how to skate (that’s primarily what they did on dates)
Hosea LOVES ABBA. Dutch sometimes plays it on their speakers and Hosea can’t resist a dance because it’s ABBA. (Their favorites are Take a Chance on Me, or Why’d It Have to be Me?)
Hosea’s best era was the 70s and Dutch’s was the 80s.
Branching off of that; Hosea totally sported a short sleeved button up tucked into flared pants with white GoGo boots. Meanwhile Dutch totally had a mullet and mustache combo in the 80s. (He misses it) (yes this is in reference of what he canonically looks like in rdr2, I think what he currently looks like is similar to rdr1 Dutch)
Some of their dates back in the day consisted of:
Skating dates
Disco dates
Sight seeing
Bicycling/hiking
Museums
Dates they do nowadays (when they have time) :
Museums (still)
Going out to dinner (a classic)
Drag shows
Staying home with a movie/show
Karaoke bars (with friends too)
They met through Susan in 1979 (Dutch was 22 and Hosea was 33) (they did not expect to fall in love with each other)
Dutch asked Hosea out everyday until he finally said yes
They always used to have hour long conversations which was VERY expensive, and Dutch’s line would PILE UP with everyone trying to reach him.
Hosea is a white wine drinker and Dutch is a red wine drinker
Gazing longingly to each other is their love language. (Whether that is across the room/table/street you decide)
Their actual love languages are:
Hosea- Quality time, physical touch (especially receiving), acts of service
Dutch- WORDS OF AFFIRMATION (especially receiving) , physical touch, gift giving
Dutch used to idly twirl the phone cord while talking to Hosea (tell me he didn’t..)
Dutch only drinks coffee, but Hosea loves both coffee and tea equally
Dutch can’t cook but he has PERFECTED the way Hosea makes his coffee
They often visit each other’s lecture rooms/classrooms at work
Dutch delivered Hosea flowers to his house everyday while they were dating, and nowadays Dutch buys him some still every so often (Hosea would always play it cool around Dutch when brought up, but he was always giddy to see a new bouquet everyday on his doorstep)
Branching off that; Dutch would leave him little poetic lines clipped to the flower baskets. (Hosea saved them all no matter how grammatically incorrect they could be sometimes) (he’s a stickler for punctuation)
Nowadays when Hosea says: “hmm?” Dutch over annunciates what he just said to make fun of his old age (receiving an eye roll from Hosea) (could also apply to the cannon timeline)
The types of conversations they have belong on a podcast (neither of them know how to/want to run one, but they’re hysterical nevertheless)
They both gossip about everything that’s happening in the gang. No one can possibly gossip more than they do
How I think rdr2 characters respond to praise/compliments!
(They are going to sound kinda dumb but I promise I actually put effort into these.)
This may be interpreted as Cannon x Reader or Cannon x your ship!
These are totally fluffy and definitely SFW Jsyk
Abigail Marston - she probably would scoff and wave her hands/playfully slap them, or simply say thank you
Arthur Morgan - turn bright red and hot under the brim of his hat, and responds to them with a half mumbled: “it’s really nothing..” and then walk away awkwardly. (He’s seen with a smile on his face for the rest of the day) (he’s gonna write a new journal entry abt this)
Bill Williamson - scoffs and tells them to “shut up” but loves the compliment. (He always seems to think he’s being picked on)
Charles Smith - goes all quiet for a beat after the compliment and then gives them a sincere “thank you” he smiles at them for the rest of the day.
Dutch Van Der Linde- A simple: “Thank you M’dear.” However, they’ve inflated his ego even more which Dutch appreciates, and goes to seek their company more.
Hosea Matthews - surprised he was sought after to receive a compliment, depending on what it is, he will openly appreciate it, and mean it.
Jack Marston - “Thank you! :D” his momma taught him manners.
Javier Escuella- He responds with a small chuckle and a “thank you” they are chill now/ they’ve leveled up in Javier liking them.
John Marston- Not expecting it at first but then he melts into a dumb grin and starts avoiding eye contact as he says “thank you.”
Josiah Trelawny- “why thank you!” With a smile. He really appreciates compliments.
Karen Jones- “Ain’t you sweet?” She smirks at them. And that’s basically it.
Kieran Duffy- definitely not expecting a compliment of any kind. “O-oh- thank you..” he smiles kindly and fidgets.
Lenny Summers- grins widely and gives a “thank you!” His mind seems to wander back to the interaction for the rest of the day
Leopold Strauss- Kind of confused but shares his small gratitudes anyway
Mary-Beth Gaskill - “Oh, thank you..” she idly plays with her hair as she talks with them.
Micah Bell - At the very least he’ll scoff, and if he does say anything it’s along the lines of: “Christ, why you so soft?” But he’s blushing nonetheless.
Molly O’Shea- She giggles sweetly and blushes, sharing her gratitudes, and when she sees them for the rest of the day she smiles at them kindly. (She’s happy someone is paying attention to her, giving her a compliment even)
Reverend, Orville Swanson- if not in a drunken stupor, he says his thanks with a grateful smile.
Sadie Adler- grins at them ear to ear with a “thanks..” and soft blush forming on her cheeks
Sean MacGuire- “I din’ know ye’ loved me or something.” He teases them, grinning dumbly.
Simon Pearson- genuinely appreciates it, his big smile misshaping his mustache
Susan Grimshaw- “why thank you darlin’ “ she smiles at them. Not really expecting a compliment but she’s always appreciative of all affection.
Tilly Jackson- “Thank you!” She says kindly full of gratitude and love. (It means the world to her)
Uncle - he didn’t hear it
Hosea Matthews study.
Repost bc the quality ACTUALLY sucked, not too sure what happened there, but here it is, in all its (hopefully) high quality glory.
I like the idea in like 90% of the fics I read where Hosea is like: “We don’t need a kid, Dutch.” And Dutch thinks it’s a great idea.
Of course Dutch’s overall intentions is to raise a loyal soldier and a sharer of his ideals. But Hosea eventually becomes softened by the pathetic thing, and by God he’d protect them with his entire life.
Yes of course this is seen with both Arthur and John, but more so with Arthur bc he was the first little street urchin they found. And so Dutch wanted him to become a strong, loyal, protector, but all Hosea wanted from him in the end was a son <3
Anyways, Hosea Matthews got me crying in the club 🥲
FOUND THESE MFS AT PRIDE.
POV Your name is Cathrine Braithwate and you kidnapped these guys’ grandson and they killed all of your sons and are going to burn down your house. And all the mustached one is saying is: “Where is the boy?” And you don’t know how to tell him you sent him to an Italian Mob Boss:
(You’re cooked)
(Literally 🔥)
[click for better quality 😚]
I can imagine a stuck up Saint Denis police officer walk past them and they start mocking him behind his back
Officer: *mean mugs Dutch and Hosea as he marches away*
Dutch/Hosea: ❓❓
Dutch: “I walk like I have a poll up my ass!” *starts marching the way the officer was in a funny way*
Hosea: *laughing at him* “oh yes, if only I got that promotion, I wouldn’t have to work in this shit-smelling city.”
*laughing at their own wit*
smth smth hosea does know every nitty gritty detail about someone in camp and if he feels like it, he'll run to dutch to let him in and they'll just "quietly" gossip for hours
yes they laugh at ppl btw
theyre the type to see a feller walk down the street, all casual, normal guy, and start giggling. lean into each other shoulders, and make fun while doing "subtle" gestures. i would know trust they told me themselves guys.. /j
I love when quote generator is accurate here’s a few that I got:
Sean: Welcome to my very first vlog, in which I try different hair products!
Sean: *sprays hairspray in his mouth*
Sean: Well, right off the bat I can tell you this one is not very good.
—————
Dutch: If there are no questions, we'll move on to the next chapter.
Arthur: I have a question.
Dutch: Certainly, Arthur. What is it?
Arthur: What's the point of human existence?
Dutch: I meant any questions about the subject at hand.
Arthur : Oh.
Arthur: Frankly, l'd like to have the issue resolved before I expend any more energy on this
—————-
Dutch, to Hosea: Well, one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me.
—————-
Dutch: If you really want to get back at a man, scare him with a pregnancy test. I've got a whole box of old positives at my house.
Micah: You're an American treasure.
—————-
Arthur: I'm going to get myself some soup.
Hosea : Be careful not to burn yourself, it's hot.
Arthur: Pfft, I won't burn myself.
*30 seconds later*
Arthur, entering the room: I burned myself
—————-
Pearson: Tommorrow's garbage day.
Sadie: I can't believe they made a whole day dedicated to you.
—————-
Arthur: Oh, they left the bowl out?
Arthur: It says, "Take two pieces of candy."
John: Nobody around though...
*John grabs the entire bowl and runs off with it*
Arthur : NO -
—————-
Dutch : Are pigeons drones?
Hosea: What? No, I'm trying to sleep.
Dutch: Think about it. How come you've never seen a baby pigeon? And why do you never actually see a pigeon nest? Because they're DRONES!
Hosea: *Crying* Please let me sleep...
————-
Charles : Are you ready to commit?
Arthur: Like, a crime or a relationship?
————-
Dutch: I think I just figured something out. I got to go.
Hosea: Aren't you forgetting something?
Dutch : Uuh...*hesitantly kisses Hosea's forehead before running out.*
Hosea: No, pay your bill! Damn, who raised you??
————-
Arthur : I'm trash.
Charles : As someone who's environmentally conscious, it's my duty to pick you up. Does 7:00 work for you?
Arthur :
Arthur : You smooth motherfucker. And yes, it does.
————-
Javier walking into the kitchen and seeing all their limes peeled: John, I love you but, what the h-e-double FUCK.
John, sipping coffee happily: I love you too
————-
*Sadie comes home absolutely drunk, undresses, and stands in Abigail's bedroom.*
Abigail: Babe, are you.. coming to bed?
Sadie: No thank you, I'm sure you're lovely but I have a girlfriend.
Sadie: *Lies on the ground and falls asleep*
Abigail: ….
————-
John : This date is boring!
Javier: This isn't a date. I said I was going to the store.
John: Then why did you invite me?
Javier: I didnt, I specifically said "don't come with me," then you said, "fuck you Javier I'll do whatever I want!”
————-
Sadie : Talk dirty to me, baby~
Abigail: The dishes.
Sadie : Wh-
Abigail: They've been there for 4 days and it's your turn to wash them. You still haven't cleaned them and I have asked you to do it several times.
————-
Thank you.
I’m tired of everyone’s drama at my age. When is it my turn to get the Hosea I need to my Dutch??
I may or may not be creating a little Vandermatthews comic 👀🤭🤭
Y’all will just have to wait and seeee….
Edit: may or may not be coming out tomorrow or Friday 👍
Shady Belle, July 7th 1899, 3:00 AM
I finally finished it :D hope y’all like it :> I wasn’t expecting to finish it so early
(I made this in honor of getting Jack back from Bronte during this play through)
Thanks to all who told me they were excited to see it :>>
I’m about this close 🤏 to drawing old men kissing
Current favorite thing that reoccurs in Vandermatthews fics is the nickname “ ‘Sea” for Hosea. Love it.