Hi There, I Bought A Doc Martens Addina Flower Buckle A Few Weeks Ago And It Hurts To Walk In Them -

Hi there, I bought a doc martens addina flower buckle a few weeks ago and it hurts to walk in them - my toes feel cramped. It's it normal? What should I do? I already went to a cobbler...

BLACK SWAN - THE UNREWARDING CHASE AFTER PERFECTION

Tw: bulimia, self-harm, sexual assault, body horror

''Black swan'', directed by Darren Aronofsky, is a 2010 film. It deals with our main character, Nina, a ballerina which gets picked for the role of both The white swan and The black swan in a production of "Swan lake", but as she is urged by her artistic director to 'lose herself' her sanity crumbles before her. In this post I'd like to address the themes, motifs, character development, and what black swan made me feel, because I find art is about emotions.

★ SWAN LAKE ANALOGY

The story of "Swan lake" is a direct analogy most readers can pick up on during their watch of Black swan and I'd like to highlight some thoughts of mine on the parallels between the two.

" virginal girl, pure and sweet, trapped

in the body of a swan. She desires

freedom, but only true love can

break the spell. Her wish was

granted in the form of a prince.

But before he can declare his love,

her lustful twin, the Black Swan,

tricks and seduces him.

Devastated, the White Swan leaps

off a cliff, killing herself. But,

in death, finds freedom. " - Leroy

This recounting of "Swan lake" is a basic synopsis of the movie Black swan. Nina is perfect, and she finds this need for perfection a prison. We see her eat half a fruit for breakfast, spend all her time in the company, and put mountains of effort into every step she takes. This is exactly Nina's downfall - if Leroy was right about one thing it's that perfection is inherently imperfect. It's messy and dirty and full of mistakes, because perfect is expected.

Nina believes her 'freedom' will come in the form of Leroy, that he can cultivate her into the girl she was destined to be, and sees Lily as her doppelganger - an evil xerox who wishes to steal her only answer away from her. Nina is mistaken, and actually her mistake falls perfectly into the plot of Swan lake - she mixes up the roles. Lily is much closer to the prince in the sense she allows Nina to be herself. She genuinely desires to see Nina succeed and yet doesn't believe that Nina should torture herself to perfection. Although it's difficult to distinguish between reality and illusion during the film, when the credits roll, I think we all know who's the twin, who's the swan, and who's the prince.

★ THE THEORY OF ART

Nietzche (😒...) Coined the terms 'dyonisian' and 'apollonian' in his book, Birth Of Tragedy. The Dyonisian is the tendency for freedom - pleasure, lack of thinking, impulse. The Apollonian is the tendency for structure - order, planning, perfecting. Nietzche claims that good art is the balance between the two, you can't be overly obsessive over detail nor carelessly creating.

Nina is Apollonian. She is so invested in being the perfect dancer she loses what made her good in the first place - her love for the profession, her daintiness, her emotional connection to pieces. Throughout the movie, we see how obsessive Nina becomes with perfection as her bulimia gets worse, she grows suspicious of her peers, and eventually resorts (does she...?) to murder for her sake. Truly, Nina couldn't balance art because she couldn't let herself go, and only when she did her performance was perfect.

Black swan made me unnerved. As an artist, it's truly an enthralling experience seeing a young woman shred herself to bits trying to be perfect. I almost cried when Nina forced herself to puke the nothing she ate, because it's an amazing metaphor; trying to use up something that is not there. I think about black swan from time to time, and I realize that Nina isn't perfect - she was. She was her best when she loved dance. When she lived living . When she loved herself.

Stay yourself, stay curious

UPDATE!

Recently visited a nearby town with a friend and we came into a second hand shop, and as I was looking around, lo and behold a typewriter in English!! I don't live in an English speaking country so this is rare. It's not expensive at all, a bit broken but with a few tweeks it is a steal.

My birthday is in January so I might treat myself to it.

I WANT A TYPEWRITER!!!

stay yourself, stay curious

Have you ever read such a good book and been so disappointed that there was nothing else like it that you start writing your own? Because that’s what I feel like doing after finishing all of Donna Tartt’s novels.

Niche but Irina from "three sisters" by Anton Chekhov???

AS A PERSON MAJORING IN THE OLD TESTAMENT --

This is a really good observation! Haven't thought of it myself but it makes sense. Eve is also blamed throughout Genesis for the original sin heavily, whole people don't take into account Adam's autonomy in consuming the fruit. I actually think their roles are opposite - Camilla resembles Adam way more than Eve and Charles is similar to Eve. Charles is way more vocal and active in the group's activities while Camilla is very much a part of the bacchanal and such but is more reserved and manipulative. Camilla is also hinted to blame Charles behind his back to Henry for multitudes of things, which correspondences with Adam blaming Eve for the original sin.

Sorry if my English is rusty, I read Genesis in Hebrew so maybe my texts are different from the translations.

reading some philosophy today and…

Bruh—am I stupid, did everyone catch this or am I smart? Idfk, but…Charles  and Camilla… prettttyyy sure they’re symbolic of Adam and Eve. The orphaned—“parentless”—incestuous twins makes sense now. Thanks philosophy and religious studies.

(Eve is made from the rib of Adam=sort of like the “twin of him”. Explains some of her nature too.)