Villain: Stand Down, Hero!

Villain: Stand down, hero!

Shouto: Or what?

Villain: Or I’ll subject you to unspeakable horrors!

Shouto: Unspeakable? Haha!

Villain: What’s so funny?!

Shouto: See that scar on my face? My mother did that when I was a kid.

Villain: Um…

Shouto: I’ve sparred Endeavor daily since I was five years old. Not even always with a Quirk, sometimes with a fucking katana.

Villain: …

Shouto: You ever had Endeavor yell at you? While he’s on fire? Have you ever gotten your ass kicked in a sparring fight with the number two pro hero and then gone back to your room to study because you still have a fucking math test tomorrow?

Villain: …

Shouto: Have you ever had your supposedly dead brother come back as a mass murderer and try to incinerate you while your family watched?

Villain: …

Shouto: Have you ever seen your reflection in the eyes of a madman and thought, “This is how I die?”

Villain: …I…

Shouto: Do yourself a favor and get into these handcuffs because I’ve already called for backup, and my dad is on patrol duty today. I’m just telling you for your own good.

Villain: …

Endeavor: Hey!! What are you doing standing next to my son, you punk ass villain?!

Villain: You know what, I’m not dealing with this. Jail, please!

Endeavor: (looking around) I don’t see any ice. How’d you defeat him?!

Shouto: Oh just the good old Todoroki persuasion, you know.

Endeavor: (to the villain) Haha, you poor bitch.

Shouto: Shut the fuck up, Dad, or I’ll change my hero name to Endeavor Hater.

Enji: Won’t recommend.

Shouto: Oh really, why not?

Enji: You know how people call Best Jeanist “Jeanist” cause it’s shorter? You’ll either be “Endeavor” or “Hater.”

Shouto: Okay, fuck, you make a good argument.

POV: You asked Endeavor about his “age-gap relationship,” but he had promised Hawks he’d be nice and not burn people

Hawks: Hey babe.

Endeavor: What the heck are you wearing?

Hawks: It’s a shacket.

Endeavor: Uh-huh. And does it stand for “shit jacket”?

Hawks: No babe, it stands for “Enji will sleep on the couch if he doesn’t shut the fuck up.”

Endeavor: …You look beautiful, darling.

Hawks: That’s what I thought.

All for One: Oh, you wanna trade insults, Endeavor? You… abused your son!

Endeavor: You stole other people’s abused sons so you could abuse them even more!

All for One: When I look at you, I see a broken man.

Endeavor: When I look at you, I want to vomit lava.

All for One: Your kids hate you.

Endeavor: Your brother hates you.

All for One: Your wife never loved you!

Endeavor: Ha! All Might won’t fuck you.

All for One: …I’m sorry, what?

Endeavor: All. Might. Won’t. Fuck you.

All for One: I… I… How would you know?!

Endeavor: I just do, All for One.

All for One: You… you know nothing you fucking matchbox!!

All Might: Endeavor is actually right, I a hundred percent won’t fuck you.

All for One: … 😭😭😭💔

All Might and Endeavor: 🫸🏻🫷🏻Eyyyy!!

Stain: 👉🏻👈🏻 Hey All Might… so, like… after this thing wraps up…

All for One: ARE YOU FOR REAL RIGHT NOW STAIN??!! God I hate it here!

I promise you, you don’t have to hate Enji if you like Touya. You don’t have to think Touya’s trash if you like Enji. You can like both! As I do, with all my heart.