Principal Nezu: I Called You Here Because Your Son Threatened Another Student.

Principal Nezu: I called you here because your son threatened another student.

Endeavor: I see. Shouto, can you tell me what happened?

Shouto: He said, “Does the carpet match the drapes?” and I said, “Does your blood match the pavement, bitchface? Let’s check.”

Endeavor: Okay, so what’s the problem? The pavement wasn’t red? Is “bitchface” the problem?

Principal Nezu: (sigh) What would you have done if someone asked you that question?

Endeavor: (confused) Vanishing Fist, why?

Principal Nezu: May I speak with Shouto’s mother instead?

Endeavor: I tried to get her to show up, but she said, quote (reading from his phone), “This is a school where they teach kids to fuck shit up for a living, why is a threat a fucking problem, call me when he kills someone.”

Principal Nezu: I see it now. The problem is not Shouto.

Endeavor: How the hell did it take you this long to figure that out?

Enji lost his arm, but Hellflame gave him a new one.

Enji’s mom: ENJIIIIIIIII

Enji: Oh my god, what?

Enji’s mom: Help me set up my email.

Enji: Okay, but why do you feel the need to yell my name like that?

Enji’s mom: Like what?

Enji: You just yelled my name. I can hear you. You always do this. It’s annoying! I’m right here, no need to yell.

Shouto: Are you, serious, Dad? Are you fucking serious right now?

Enji: What?

Shouto: Oh my god. He’s for real.

Enji: What??

Nighteye: All Might, what the fuck are you doing here? I didn’t ask you to come.

All Might: Hehe that’s not what you said last night, Mirai darling.

Endeavor: Excuse me, what?! I thought we were exclusive, Toshi!

Hawks: Wait, what the fuck?! You’re sleeping with ALL MIGHT, Enji?!

Best Jeanist: Are you seriously still in love with Endeavor, Keigo? After everything???

Edgeshot: What EVERYTHING are you talking about, Tsunagu? You’ve gone back to Hawks while we’re on break???

Mirko: This is what I get. This is what I get for hanging out with gay guys. (sips drink) I don’t know what I expected.

(In the background)

Endeavor: Yeah, I’ll set you both on fire. You and your sidekick-side hoe!

Nighteye: Fuck you, Endeavor!

Best Jeanist: Yeah, fuck you, Endeavor!

Mirko: All about the drama.

Principal Nezu: I’m sorry, ma’am, who are you?

Rei: I’m Shouto’s mom, here to pick him up from school.

Principal Nezu: Todoroki, do you know this woman?

Shouto: No.

Rei: Oh really? That’s how you want to play? Okay then. (dials Enji)

Enji: Ouch, fuck! Get jet burned! What’s up, Rei?

Rei: Your son decided to be difficult. Can you pick him up?

Enji: I’m in the middle of a villain fight.

Shouto: Can’t Touya pick me up?

Enji: THAT’S WHO I’M FIGHTING, SMARTASS!

Shouto: Oh my god, I hate my family.

Principal Nezu: Todoroki. Get the fuck out of the school before I lose my patience.

Shouto: I’m sorry, what? Mom, wait, I’m going with you!!

All Might: Mirai, what do your future eyes see?

Nighteye: They’re taking Bakugou to Kamino Ward!