Can I Have An Office AU Where Sherlock Is Just An Overly Intelligent Asshole (maybe A Barista?) And Moriarty

Can I have an office AU where Sherlock is just an overly intelligent asshole (maybe a barista?) and Moriarty is in charge of IT and that's why he's so evil? And John could be just an office worker (maybe a slight dashing of Tim Canterbury?) and be the common link between the two, and then (purely by context clues in speech and appearance) Sherlock deduces that the IT guy is the one behind the viruses that plague John's workplace just enough to be a massive pain in the arse for everyone that has to keep staying late and coming in for the weekends and maybe Sherlock could fix the faulty firewall so as to be impenetrable but that'd mean John would stop coming in for coffee to keep up during the week and so Sherlock only fixes little things that lets John actually do work instead of wasting his time trying to make his screen face right-side-up again and stopping loud car horns sounding from his speakers every time he hits a key (although it was both impressive and slightly unnerving that when Sherlock managed to fix the car horn problem his typing actually pulled out a rendition of Staying Alive from John's speakers).

Except! It catches Moriarty's attention when someone actually turns in a report on time and that leads him to John and then he decides to actually have some fun with him and starts royally screwing John with anything technology (even his remote for the telly is somehow turning on his ice maker and that shouldn't be possible because he hasn't had his own ice in his flat for 2 years now).

But! That actually means that Sherlock gets invited over to make things work proper again and ends up worming his way into being essential for John's life, which is something new for Sherlock as he's never really had anything actually depend on him and John's different because when everyone else would say, "piss off," John actually says, "that was incredible."

Except! This makes Sherlock a little blind to how personal some of these cyber-attacks are becoming, personal enough that it would require actual surveillance of John's life, personal enough that some of these attacks would require a physical presence-a close presence-for this kind of data manipulation (like how John's taken to disconnecting from wireless in his flat and he could only have been gone 5 minutes to fetch his tea but that doesn't change the fact of what's on his screen now. There's a new addition to the last line, blinking cursor snug to last letter.

free_page((unsigned long)group_info[i] >HI JOHN|

John's tea has gone cold since he first saw it.). And John's not really told Sherlock the personal messages he keeps finding now, only whatever technological screw up that has now become his life. And John served time in the military and ran toward the firefight that led to his medical discharge so damned if he's going run away from this.

And Moriarty keeps getting closer. 

beanslee:

dumblydoor:

subetei:

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Fandom: Hitting the hard questions NO ONE WANTS TO ANSWER

Also? Honorary Superhero Solution

The national anthem started playing when I saw this.

It felt like America. 

Testing.

(Flying Bottle by Sergey Tyukanov)

So this happened.

And everything was awesome.