It Glows Flashily!

It Glows Flashily!

Today has been rough pain-wise and for another reason that I will not get into. However, I gratefully received something in the mail that tremendously helped make my day better.

Found this awesome sexy pin by uwupins, over on Mercari! Best part...

It flippin' sheds a glow brilliantly in the dark! Anyone who knows me, sees how much I passionately cherish things that glow!! My collection room is filled with such stuff, from stars on the decorated ceiling to figures of Nyagira Kaiju Cats! I naturally love turning the lights off in here at night and seeing all the glowing stuff coming to life!

Real Life And Stuff

*warning talks of mental abuse* I had sincerely hoped to post a collection update for the past several days, but personal life has been, well…

Let's just say, I desperately need to vent about somethings. That is what my entry is going to be about. It won't bother me if you skip over this, as there will be some considerable length. It is possible someone else is encountering a similar experience, and these words will aid them?

In my introductions, I mention 17 years of mental abuse by an ex. While the relationship has been broken off with "R" (as I shall dub him), we still live together. The man currently has dementia; this has made his grumpy dinosaur side even worse. Yesterday, he verbally mistreated me by falsely saying I'm a "sleazy slut" and bluntly informed me about my "slut mouth." Fun times! On Thursday, his verbal abuse got so severe, that it almost drove me to ending it all. An online friend talked me down while I tenderly held and cried all over my Buggy plush, he was drenched.

Still living with this horrid man has inevitably become an absolute nightmare. "R" desperately keeps trying to get in my pants, no thank you! I am demisexual, that emotional connection once formed with "R" has been lost for years! I've just kept going through the motions, as a foolish creature of habit, familiarity and routine. Sex, something I traditionally view as a sacred act, became merely nothing but a chore with him. Trying frequently to discover desperate ways out of having to sleep with him; this would bring forth his terrible wrath! He would subsequently threaten to kick me out into the streets. Why stay with him so long? As to why I stayed so long, because a piece of myself was willingly given to this disappointment of a man. My unfortunate lack of friends doesn't help, as I'm an odd duck. *quack* *quack* Then there is the fact, that it's awkward finding a "mate" and didn't want to experience this precious life alone. Probably, because I am just plain stupid too. I won't lie, there have been good times with the man. We have been on many grand adventures, from a cruise to Disney World!

In notable addition, my mental illness makes change in routine hard. Changes really throw me off, and "R" naturally became, well…routine! Breaking up with him was surreal and has undoubtedly taken some time to adjust to. Nevertheless, it is legitimately SO liberating!!! Why continue living with "R," why not get out now? I have no support system here, when it comes to local friends and family. Truthfully, it is all long distance. If the internet didn't exist, I would typically have no friends! I'm on SSDI disability; I can only afford low income housing. Currently the section 8 waiting list is closed for my state. If and when I get on the list, it is a 2 to 3 year wait…This area has severely limited resources too. The odd fact that I can't drive doesn't help matters either. I've never been capable, due to over thinking and panicking behind the wheel.

Despite how "R" has treated me, he is a human being. I don't want to completely abandon him. His family will merely toss him away into a facility, like yesterday's trash. Right now, he is too high functioning for that. However, his family doesn't want to step in and help either. Indeed, they are all aware what is happening to him. Hell, his Step-mother wouldn't even help me get a couple of hours to do something profoundly meaningful. Which is the One Piece concert happening in Las Vegas this Saturday. *cries* To actually hear "The Drums of Liberation" in person, would bring tears to my delighted eyes.

"R's" cousin humbly admitted to me a few months ago, that she knows how abusive "R" can be in a relationship. How I have a kind heart for staying, this kind heart has inevitably had enough! His Step-mother sent me a text last week apologizing that I've had to deal with this. Fuck, then why not help with this situation foolish idiotic woman?! Instead of declaring bluntly to me, "We have a life too you know!" I possess a god damn life too!! Which 17 years of it have been wasted with "R"…but I dearly want to live again!

If it wasn't for my genuine love and fond attachment to Buggy the Star Clown, I would have completely crumbled. Hell, that almost did happen twice recently. I know Luffy is ordinarily the one who liberates. For me, it is Buggy who is gallantly helping to unlock the gates of glorious freedom from my own personal Impel Down! I plan to carefully design a tattoo centered around him and the freedom he has and will give me.

I think the Hisoillu dynamic is straight up one of the funniest dynamics ever actually

Two guys nobody likes because they’re murderous freaks and both have something deeply wrong with them, who almost always work alone. You’d expect them to have a kind of extremely fucked up rival villain/passive aggressive/regular murder threats vibe but instead, when they’re not terrorizing people, they’re usually just chilling.

Illumi is insistent that they are not friends, merely working together, but yet whenever there’s some downtime he goes and finds Hisoka and they just sit and chat about work. Have a drink. You know. And Hisoka calls on Illumi for favours and messes with him for shits and giggles and Illumi… doesn’t seem to care? It clearly irritates him but he doesn’t do anything about it. Hisoka propositions Illumi to murder him and Illumi describes this agreement in terms of an engagement. Up until this point they had what was described as a give and take relationship. This is clearly a form of fucked-up commitment and an understandable next step for them. Hisoka knows he’s messed up and even he is stunned by Illumi’s complete inability to read the fucking room concerning Killua and thinks there’s something deeply wrong with him. Illumi thinks his behaviour is perfectly normal and responds to Hisoka’s particular brand of freak with mild judgement but also a shrug and a whatever because he knows him well enough that it doesn’t really surprise him at this point.

Oh, and they knew each other before the story started, well enough that there is a definite familiarity there. This has yet to be elaborated on, and it might not ever be.

They actually very rarely interact directly in the story (mostly Hunter Exam and Election arcs).

At least they got off-panel murder-engaged (?) though?

10/10 dynamic. This is hilarious.

I Haz Grey Potato!

Meet, Jiraiya! He is a Russian Blue mix, my furry son and an odd little cat. Jiraiya came into my care as a very sickly little kitten. Everyone said he wouldn't make it. However, the odds were in Jiraiya's favor, as he fortunately possessed a determined will to live. Here Jiraiya is 17 years later, still full of life and is always being spoiled!

Indeed, Jiraiya has his own catnip kicker toy of little Buggy, which I found on Amazon Japan. The best cat toy every, I most certainly have to add! He will frequently use Buggy as a pillow or...

...face plant right on him, LOL!! Jiraiya obviously helps to naturally keep me going too.

Some people just don’t understand how sexy anime Buggy is

You guys don’t UNDERSTANNDDD😩😩