Okay This Is A Random Rant But Im Like Scared To Orgasm? I Get To The Very End, Literally ABOUT To Finish

okay this is a random rant but i’m like scared to orgasm? i get to the very end, literally ABOUT to finish and i get scared and stop and i literally don’t know how to train my mind to not be scared of it. it’s so frustrating bc i WANT to but every time i feel like i need to pee i know i’m close but then i stop smhhhh

hi! I haven’t been active lately but this ask has been ruminating with me for a while. I might hop on the wagon again with something not OBX related, but nothing is for sure. I’ve been reading a lot and just hanging out a lot with friends and family which is nice, and I’m sorry it took so long for me to get to this.

Try putting a towel down. It’s not uncommon for you to feel that way! Peeing before you start, or even doing in it the tub or shower can help you not be afraid of making a mess. This isn’t a health advice blog and I’m definitely not a medical professional, but I think as a writer of smut and someone who is very pro sex and masturbation it’s important to embrace the messy parts of pleasure as well as the challenges they present.

big love y’all. talk to ya soon.

i love between the devil and the deep blue sea!! is there gonna be a chapter 2 and if so do you have a posting schedule? much love💗

hi!! i’ve planned for it, but life just gets in the way haha. i haven’t written it out yet, but when the inspiration strikes it’ll happen bub! so as of right now I don’t have a posting schedule. typically though, for my blog, i’m posting the most on weekends and always at night, probably after seven eastern time. in the meantime I’m working on some jj requests, some john b. requests, and a frank castle mafia fic which I’m really excited about, so let me know if you want me to throw you on the tag list for that. big love, stay safe!

thanks for writing the john b fic i requested it had such good vibes, especially at the end! i loved it!!💜💜

THANK YOU SO MUCH. I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU! keep the requests coming in!

you’ve got a friend in me

request: ur writing is so good i love ur fics :’) can u do a confessing feelings kiss with jj

summary: jj tries to watch Toy Story with you and takes you on a walk down to one of the old playgrounds in the outer banks

pairings: jj maybank x reader

word count: 2k

warnings: healthy family dynamics. i'm ur dad now.

a/n: this is super fluffy and i love swings ;) big loveeee

“This is worse than I remember it being,” you comment, and JJ stares down at you in his lap.

“What? The cinematic masterpiece that is Toy Story one isn’t good enough for you?” He says, and you turn your attention back to the screen.

“It’s just Toy Story, and sorry to burst your bubble, but… It’s… ugly,” you comment with a chuckle, and he gasps.

“How dare you. Get out of my house, I’m kicking you out,” he says, and stands, ejecting you from his lap onto the floor.

“Ow!” You cry playfully, staring up at him in disbelief.

“This is my fuckin’ house,” you say to him.

A loud, “Language!” comes from the kitchen, courtesy of your father. JJ stares at you with wide eyes, and you both break out into giggles. You sit down next to him on your couch, resting your head on his shoulder, him resting his head on yours. The movie plays on. You feel JJ sigh softly. You’re both comfortable with each other there.

Your dad pokes his head into the doorway.

“Hey! No touching! Ten feet apart. You on that end, you on that end,” he chides, pointing a spoon covered in red sauce at the two of you. You shake your head and sigh, scooting away from JJ.

“I don’t want you even looking at each other. Move over more,” he says to you, and you do, moving to the edge of the couch. He’s still not satisfied.

“More.” He says, and you glare at him.

“Do you want me to just go to my room, and JJ can stay here, and we can just text each other about the movie?” You say. He ponders it and you roll your eyes.

“It’s not like that, dad,” you say. You can practically hear the disbelief on his face. JJ readjusts himself in his seat.

“It’s not like that dad,” your father mocks.

“Yeah, it wasn’t like that with your mother and I. Look what happened. A baby. A house. A dog.”

“We don’t have a dog.” You say, wondering if he’s lost his mind already. At such an age, too.

“What’s on the couch over there?” He says, pointing the spoon at JJ, and you gasp.

“Dad!” You cry, but JJ seems to find it a lot funnier than you do.

“That’s cruel sir. That’s cruel,” He comments playfully, and your dad smiles at him.

“He’s kidding JJ,” your mom says, smacking your father on the shoulder and poking her head into the living room now too. No privacy in this house.

“Are you staying for dinner?” She questions. JJ puts his hand on his heart and looks at her with love in his eyes.

“Ma’am. It would be my pleasure to eat your cooking.”

“I’m the one doing all the cooking!” Your father exasperates, gesturing to his apron.

“It doesn’t look like anyone’s doing any cooking,” you mutter under your breath for JJ to hear, and he smiles at you, all round cheeks and tight lips.

“The attitude is unreal,” your dad jokes, going back into the kitchen, leaving the two of you to the movie once more.

It takes you a few minutes and some comments that go unnoticed to realize JJ isn’t watching the movie. He’s staring at the screen, but he’s thinking. Hard.

You scoot closer, tossing a cautionary glance over your shoulder. Your dad is at the stove, out of sight, tending to some pasta.

“What’s up?” You ask, and he puts on a fake smile for you.

“Nothing,” he replies. He goes to stare at the screen again.

“Really? What just happened?” you question, and he looks at you quizzically. You cover his eyes with your hands.

“What just happened in the movie?” You quizz, and his shoulders fall.

“Buzz and Woody just did that thing. They got kidnapped.”

You remove your hands from his face and tuck your feet up under you.

“You’re not even watching it. What’s the point of keeping it on,” you say, reaching for the remote on the coffee table.

“No, I wanna finish it!” He whines, racing to grab the remote before you do. He gets there first, and tucks the remote underneath him, effectively changing the channel to some home renovation show.

You smile and throw your hands in the air. He rolls his eyes, taking out the remote and turning off the TV.

“What do you want to do then?” He says, putting the controller back on the coffee table, next to the centerpiece your mother loved oh so dearly, no matter how ugly it was.

“I want you to tell me what’s up with you,” you say, resting your arm on the side of the couch.

JJ glances toward the kitchen, where your parents worked away, cooking and washing dishes for that night’s dinner.

“Let’s go on a walk,” he suggests, popping off the couch, bounding over to your door.

“Okay?” You question, and getting up, you pop your head into the kitchen.

“We’re gonna go on a walk,” you say, and your parents stare at you with accusations written all over their faces.

“Okay,” your father starts, “But no hand holding. You’re both old enough to know how to cross the street by yourselves—actually, stay on opposite sides of the street, you on one side, him on the other—” as your dad rambles on, your mother smiles at you, waving you off. You grin, practically running out the door. You meet JJ outside, and as you both turn to go, your dad pops his head out the window.

“Don’t talk to strangers! Stranger danger!” He cries, and is pulled back into your house, presumably by your mom.

You push JJ off and you both start running nowhere, in no particular direction toward no particular place, JJ leading.

You both stop on a side street, panting, small pogue houses surrounding you, covered in greenery, the setting sun painting the empty street a golden orange.

JJ smiles at you, then stands and keeps walking. You follow behind him until you can catch up.

‘Where are we going?” You ask, but JJ doesn’t answer. He doesn’t even look back at you. He’s walking into the sun.

“JJ, where are we—”

You get cut off, by JJ taking off again, and you sigh, before you yourself take off into a run, then realize that JJ is sprinting.

“JJ!” You cry, breathless.

“Slow down, asshole!”

He stops at the end of a street, waiting for you, breathing heavily, bent over, hands on his knees.

“Language,” he says, as soon as you’re next to him, “we’re near a school,”

He gestures to the mother and child on the crosswalk sign, then crosses the street without looking. On this side of the island, it’s darker, the sun obscured by trees and the school, eclipsing the playground JJ was hopping the fence of. You cross the street more carefully to join him.

You find him on the swingset, waiting for you. Once he was small enough for it, but now, his knees are bent and he’s crouched down into it, swinging slow and low with his feet planted on the ground. You smile as you take a seat next to him.

“The fuck is wrong with you,” you question, and he leans his head against the chainlink metal holding his seat up.

“Do you really want to ask that,” he says, before launching himself into a full swing.

You watch him push himself back and forth getting higher and higher up into the air with each kick.

“JJ,” you say, but he ignores you. He’s trying to go as high as the swing will let him. You’re afraid it’s going to snap, or he’s going to go too high and fall right out of it. Your feet stay on the ground as you swing yourself leisurely back and forth.

“JJ,” you say more sternly, and he laughs up in the air, high on adrenaline. He takes one look at your cautious face and catapults himself off the swing at the highest point, jumping into the wood chips that would most definitely find their way into both of your shoes for the walk home. The sun is even lower now.

He sits in the chips, knees pulled tightly into his chest, staring at you, a hyena grin on his face that you’ve grown accustomed to.

“You should try that,” JJ comments, but you keep swinging. You used to do that too, when you were younger. It makes your heart hurt to think you’ve outgrown it, so you push yourself just a little bit higher.

JJ sits next to you again, still in his seat. He grabs the chains on either side of him, twisting back and forth.

“Your family is really nice,” he says, out of the blue.

“Yeah,” you say, “I’m… I’m lucky to have them—”

“I don’t want to be…” JJ cuts you off, trails off.

“I want it to be like that,” he says, and you’re confused. The sky is blue. Mosquitos will start to come out soon, but you’ve only been out for a little bit.

“What?” You ask, and he stares at you. You drag your feet in the wood chips, a little divot under both your swings. There’s only two of them. You remember racing to them after school with your best friend, hoping to get one before the other kids got there.

“I want us to be like that,” he says, and you’re dumbfounded.

“Not like your family, or your parents… well, kind of, but like… ah, I’m stupid, don’t listen to me.”

“What do you want us to be like, JJ,” you say, and you’re surprised at how low your voice is. You stare at your sneakers and one of your shoes is untied.

“You said…” he starts, and you can feel him looking at you, “You said it wasn’t like that. When your dad was like…” he trails. He traces nonsense patterns into the ground with the tips of his sneaker.

You take the opportunity to look at him. His eyelashes are long, and you lick your lips looking at his.

“And you want us to be like that,” you finish. JJ shakes his head.

“I’m fucking stupid, don’t even listen to me,” he says.

“I just thought your family was nice and…” he cuts himself off, and you place your hand over his, which is still holding the chain link metal keeping him off the floor.

He looks at you. His eyes are unsure.

You realize the ball is in your court.

You reach over him, grabbing the other chain from the swing, and it takes more effort than you realize to face him, so you get up and stand in front of him.

You’re taller than he is when in the swing. The sky is a dark blue now, and it paints JJ’s face, his sculpted sharp features. The edge of his nose and the cut of his jawline and the way he looks like he’s about to cry.

So you can’t help it when you place your hands on his again, and you lean down, and he leans up, and you smile, before you kiss him for the first time.

He slides his hands out from under yours, and wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him.

When he pulls away, he places his forehead on your chest, his head moving with your breathing.

“I wanna be like that too,” you murmur into his hair. He holds you tighter for a second, and you rub his back.

He jerks back when he gets bit by a mosquito, pulling his arms away from you to slap his forearm.

“We’re gonna get eaten alive,” he says, and you back up.

“You ready to go home?” You ask, and he extends his hand for you to take. You pull him out of the swing, and the two of you walk back to your house, hands intertwined underneath a twilight sky. You don’t let go until you reach the front door.

In his seat, JJ’s foot brushed yours, and you smiled at him. He was scoffing down pasta like nobody’s business, your mom gleaming at how he loved her cooking, your dad’s concentration on his own food, almost as vivacious as JJ.

You rub your foot back over JJ’s. He knows what it means, because he stops eating to smile at you, for a brief, almost imperceptible second.

For now, you could be his family.

masterlist?

you can find my masterlist here! it’s consistently updated, but if you ever notice im slacking call me out please :) and there’s also a link in my bio, called masterlist which send you straight to, you guessed it, my masterlist 

sex headcanons

note — NSFW. whelp. if anyone wanted proof of me being clinically insane, this is what you could show them. not only has all of my free time been devoted to watching anything with pedro pascal in it, this is also what i think about while watching these anythings. i know there are people out there who have loved him for longer and are even more obsessed than i, so i figured i would share my personal headcanons for the PPCU (pedro pascal cinematic universe, duh). big love for any fans of pedrito - nat

MANDO

- VIRGIN with a capital V

- did you see how he reacted when grogu touched his face? this man has not been touched since he was a child

- he grew up with the mandalorians but he was exposed to suggestive behaviors because, helloooo, bounty hunter

- you have to coax him into it, but it doesn't take much, since he plans on keeping you around long term

- plus, you're so good with the kid

- you provide him a safe space to explore both himself and also your body and he has no idea how lucky he is for it

- doesn't make very much noise, but loves to listen to you

- he won't last long, he’s so sensitive from years of going untouched, but this man's recovery time???

- unparalleled

- he also has the dick of a space porn star and doesn't know it

- but seriously, rice purity score is NOT lower than 90, and most of the boxes he checks are "running-from-the-police" related

- he really wants to be held and have someone run their hands through his hair and kiss his neck and hold his hands is that too much to ask???

EZRA

- his words are where he gets you

- who knew dirty talk could sound so elegant??? and poetic??

- what a tease he is, too

- he pants so heavily right in your ear holy sweet lord

- and loves to laugh during sex

- he doesn't take himself super seriously unless he gets super into it, which has been known to happen from time to time

- safe words have been used between you two, which there's no shame in, but he's so good to you afterward

- he loves aftercare, and being gentle and sweet after a rough session

- asks you what you want and makes you beg for it

- makes you feel like you're in control but really, he's the one in control

- will make you cum before he does

- kinky kinky boy, almost always willing to try what you want him to

- loves to pin you down, but after he loses his arm it becomes a bit harder, so he settles for holding you flush against his chest as you squirm in his strong grip

FRANKIE

- a little soft spoken, but will whisper in your ear in public because he knows it gets you riled up

- will stare you down from across the room with bedroom eyes

- he's got that pilot's precision if you know what i mean aha

- he's honest with you about what he likes and has no qualms about telling you up front

- gives off switch energy, but you're gonna have to really make it worth his while if you want to fuck him

- a very gentle touch, which he would love to be reciprocated

- he aches from years in the service, his back, his knees, his shoulders

- would probably drop dead if you gave him a massage as foreplay

WHISKEY

- what an arrogant piece of shit

- "gorgeous, darlin', sweetheart, sugar"

- he will butter you up like a roll on thanksgiving goddamn

- so straightforward, and very up in your face, but it got you to sleep with him the first time you met him, so you can't say it doesn't work

- not the best with his fingers, but dear lord that tongue does wonders when he's not talking

- is a man on a mission to please you

- will spend an absurd amount of time between your thighs, and loves to feel you try to push him away when you get oversensitive

- loves it when you get feisty

- pull his hair, bite down a little harder than usual, push him down onto the bed or forcefully unbuckle his pants and this man will be putty in your hands

- is SO LOUD, and expects the same from you

- doesn't understand that because you're not screaming to the heavens doesn't mean he's doing a bad job

- associates volume with pleasure which isn't always the case

- that's something you'll have to work on with him, but he's a patient man

JAVIER PEÑA

- keeps condoms and lube on hand at almost all times

- ohhhh boy is this man willing to go at it wherever, whenever, you name it

- will fuck you until he sweats, and keeps going afterward

- and will definitely do you right

- he fucks to feel in control, so good luck trying to take control with this one

- almost tries to distance himself from you at first, but really it scares him that he cares so much

- there's just something about orgasming at the same time as you that just makes his whole week, and your hole weak (ahaha)

- likes to fuck you from behind and fuck you roughly, hands both occupied at the same time, mouth on you, and dick inside you

- very hands on, but can be sweet afterward

- this man kisses like no other you've ever kissed before, he leaves you breathless

MARCUS MORENO

- leads by example wink wink

- will show you what he wants done to him, and is pretty vanilla, but in a good way

- is big on foreplay and also aftercare, probably one of the sweeter ones on the list

- he's almost methodical in his sex, very routine, but willing to deviate for you

- gentle, but deep, languid strokes

- thinks he's quieter than he actually is

- always has a lot on his mind, so he really appreciates it when you can ease some of his tension

- secretly was really experimental in college

- very attentive to your needs and likes to tease

- morning sex is his thing. when he gets home from a long day, he wants to eat and relax and sleep. but in the morning? before anyone is up and before breakfast is even being considered, he likes to wake you up with sweet bruises and roaming hands

MARCUS PIKE

- marcus is the type of man to respect your boundaries fully, keep copies of toys he knows you like at his house, and surprise you at work with flowers and a dirty quickie in the bathroom because you've wanted to try it so badly

- a more traditional way of thinking on sex, and semi-reluctant to do anything involving his ass, but will try it for you if you really want him to

- a very quick learner, this one, and incredibly intuitive

- what he lacks in skill he makes up for in enthusiasm

- it's almost like he can read your mind, when he uses just the right amount of pressure and uses just the right motion to make you cum for him

- you have no idea how anyone could give this up, let alone break his heart

- his favorite thing is having you ride him, your face buried in his neck as you grind your hips down as he whispers praise in your ear

- marcus isn't super kinky, but i'm sure you can convince him to try something new every once in a while

MAX PHILLIPS

- OFFICE. DESK. SEX.

- "a private word with you in my office, please."

- so very seductive. the hand on the small of your back gets you going and he knows it, but he'll have to be more subtle if he wants to keep you

- another one who will butter you up to get you to sleep with him. he's very obvious about it, so it may or may not work first time. regardless he's up for a challenge

- pays so much attention to your neck. you will have to invest in many turtlenecks if you want to be with max

- big on eye contact, except for the exception of fucking you senseless over his desk

- obviously, a vampire, so he's absolutely magic between your thighs

- is very personable with everyone else, mainly because he's a business major, but he LOVES to make you jealous, this man LIVES off of it

- will one hundred percent expect you to be putty in his arms immediately, and treats it as a competition if you aren't

- he WILL take it personally and will make it a personal goal of his to get you to like him and want to fuck him without using his powers

- a game of cat and mouse

- does not care at all about being loud in the workplace, but he likes to see you struggle to keep quiet, even if everyone else can hear you anyway

MAXWELL LORD

- has suCH a praise kink wow

- his favorite thing is to hear you moan and tell him he’s doing a good job

- a little more vanilla than his counterparts but does like to take control and be a little rough

- a switch sometimes, falls into ruts where he just wants someone to take care of him

- but he WILL NOT ASK FOR IT. his pride won't let him

- at first, he’s not as mindful of you as you’d like him to be

- his sex is fast and unpleasant with hands everywhere and mouths and teeth and touch

- so you sit him down, and show him what you like. very slow and sensual

- you take your time with him, and he eventually starts to do the same with you

OBERYN MARTELL

- remember din's rice purity score? yeah, oberyn's is maybe ten. which is pushing it

- when you meet him, he knows what he likes, and is very particular about it

- he's done his fair share of experimenting, but he's willing to try new things, if there's anything new to be tried

- takes control inside and outside the bedroom

- not afraid to show you your place

- he's the kinky one in the relationship, and he will let you explore his body all you want

- if he doesn't like it he will kindly redirect you, his hands on yours, stroking and tugging and redirecting pressure and placement so that you learn his body in and out

- loves to watch you with his girls and boys. what an exhibitionist this man is

- for most people, they have to choose between quantity or quality in their sex lives. oberyn martell is not most people

- he is a prince, and will not let you forget it, but likes it when you talk back and he has to punish you

PERO TOVAR

- the roughest one on the list, but not the kinkiest

- sex to him when he's at his worst is just a way for him to feel good and relieve stress

- when he's at his best, it's a way for him to make you scream his name

- very possessive about what's his, and if he has to show it in front of everyone else for them to know that he will do it

- this man fucks like a rabbit. how does he find the time??? nobody knows

- his libido is so high. you have no idea how he isn't absolutely spent at the end of a long day of fighting and training and wandering, but he'll fuck you where you lay if you let him and you're too tired to move

- once you accidentally walked in on him stroking himself, and the AUDACITY OF HIM

- he smirked, groaned, and asked you to help him out

- who could resist a man like that