Thanks For Writing The John B Fic I Requested It Had Such Good Vibes, Especially At The End! I Loved

thanks for writing the john b fic i requested it had such good vibes, especially at the end! i loved it!!💜💜

THANK YOU SO MUCH. I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU! keep the requests coming in!

masterlist?

you can find my masterlist here! it’s consistently updated, but if you ever notice im slacking call me out please :) and there’s also a link in my bio, called masterlist which send you straight to, you guessed it, my masterlist 

pls yell at me about having unprotected sex pls i’ve been slacking sm and it doesn’t feel important to me anymore oops

LET ME FUCKING TELL YALL. ABOUT SAFE SEX.

- IF YOU HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX WITH ONE PERSON YOU’RE HAVING SEX WITH ALL THEIR PARTNERS. which doesn’t sound bad bc you know they have good taste (obviously if they’re sleeping with you duh) but if you’re the upgrade what the FUCK were they coming from yk??? “If you play with trash, you’re gonna get dirty.” - Kie’s dad.

- STDs AND STIs ARE FUCKING UNCOMFY. LIKE, ITCHY EVERYWHERE. BURNING CROTCH. IT BURNS TO PEE. PUS. FROM YOUR COCK OR VAGINA. DISGUSTING. SWELLING UGH EW. YOU MIGHT NOT KNOW YOU HAVE STDs FOR UP TO TWO WEEKS. and it’d be kinda mean if you gave someone an STD so please don’t

- LITERALLY IT’S SO EASY TO GET FREE CONDOMS GUYS. TYPE YOUR ZIPCODE INTO THIS WEBSITE AND IT’LL SHOW YOU THE CLOSEST PLACE TO GET FREE CONDOMS NEAR YOU. for guys and gals and nonbinary pals who have vaginas and like others with vaginas, dental dams are also a thing.

- P R E G N A N C Y. THE BIGGEST FUCKING BIRTH CONTROL EVER. CHILDREN ARE LOUD. AND MESSY. AND SO EXPENSIVE. THEY NEED CONSTANT ATTENTION. THEY WONT EAT WHEN YOU WANT THEM TO. YOU’LL CHANGE THOUSANDS OF DIAPERS. YOU’LL HAVE TO GET UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT TO BRING THEM TO THE HOSPITAL WHEN THEY HAVE A FEVER OF 103 AND THEN PAY FOR THE HOSPITAL BILLS. PREGNANCY IS PAINFUL. CHILDREN ARE ALSO ASSHOLES.

- PULLING OUT DOESNT WORK. PRECUM CAN CONTAINS TRACES OF SEMEN WHICH CAN MAKE ITS WAY INTO THE EGGS.

- PLEASE DONT LISTEN TO ANYONE WITH A PENIS WHO COMPLAINS ABOUT BEING TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM. THEY ARE LIARS. OR HAVE DANGEROUSLY HUMONGOUS DICKS THAT SHOULD REALLY GET IT CHECKED OUT BECAUSE AT THAT RATE IT SHOULD BE IMPOSSIBLE TO WALK. IT’LL BE LIKE  A THIRD FUCKING LEG DUDE HONESTLY.

- FOR YALL ON BIRTH CONTROL, MISSING A PILL CAN SET YOU BACK THREE DAYS

- GUYS. PORN IS FREE. PORNHUB IS FREE. XHAMSTER IS FREE. SMUT IS FREE. EVEN YOUTUBE HAS SOME SUGGESTIVE AUDIOS THAT MIGHT RUFFLE YOUR FEATHERS. i mean during quarantine you shouldn’t be fuckin anyway. why not get to know yourself a little better. you’re home all day with nothing to do. why not have some fun.

so, in short... be safe. have fun. do the do. but don’t do it at the cost of your health or the next eighteen years of your life. children never go away. like, ever. just jack off. mutual masturbation. phone sex. zoom sex. skype sex. anyway, big love, guys. 

pitaparka, out.

one in the hand, two in the bush

request: Coul you write a John b x reader where the reader is JJ’s sister and she has feelings for John b and it ends in smut (if you’re comfortable with that) and JJ walks in while drunk or high and praises John b for being with a girl and later on finds out it was his sister 

pt 2: This is for the John b and JJ’s sister request, maybe JJ could find out because both her and John b have hickeys and marks all over

summary: john b. finds it hard to sleep one night. that’s not the only thing that’s hard. you decide to enhance his experience a little bit. pairings: john b x fem!reader

word count: 2.1k warnings: little bit of second hand embarrassment, voyeur, male masturbation, vaginal sex, hand job stuff a/n: the title is a double entendre of sorts haha… man… words sometimes… big love, gang.

It was dark and warm in his room that night, and he couldn’t sleep. He tossed and turned, trying to lull himself into a peaceful rest, but even in silence everything was too loud. The cicadas were chirping, JJ snoring softly in the living room, the ambiance of life out his window was just the wrong side of too loud.

Naturally, it was only a matter of time before his hand found its way under the covers and into his briefs.

He was sick of staring off into darkness. He closed his eyes, but nothing came of it. He was ready to come another way, in the meantime. 

He figured there wasn’t much else to do at that rate, and some serotonin might be exactly what he needed to push him off into dreamland. So he started playing with himself, fondling and pulling as he loaded up PornHub on his phone.

It’s not hard to be quiet while he does it, but he makes sure the volume on his phone is the lowest it can go while he could still hear it. At any given time he could have four friends sleeping over at his house, invading into him room for late night fast food runs.

He takes his time, scrolling and browsing through videos, tugging on himself until he got hard.

He finds himself so deeply entranced by his own rhythm, and the feel of lotion on his cock, that he doesn’t hear you slipping down the hallway from the spare bedroom. He doesn’t hear your bare feet on the floor and  he definitely doesn’t hear you stop outside his bedroom, debating whether or not to go in.

Until you hear him.

The squelch of skin on skin and heavy breathing and barely audible moans, clearly not coming from John B. Definitely a phone.

You know he’s jerking off in there. You only wanted to get into bed with him to cuddle after a particularly jarring nightmare, but now there’s a whole new problem.

You could either barge in like you hadn’t heard him and embarrass him, or maybe he was doing something else. Maybe he was working out, or watching weird youtube videos in bed, or scrolling through the kinky side of tiktok.

Either way, you weren’t planning on sleeping alone that night.

But then you hear what you think is your brother, or maybe Kie or Pope, but probably your brother, get up. His feet are padding toward you, or more specifically, the bathroom in the hallway you’re standing in. You really don’t want him to catch you standing outside of John B.’s bedroom, so you twist the knob as quietly and as quickly as you can, the door squeaking just a little as it opens, and John B.’s quick to pull his comforter over himself and scramble with his phone to turn it off. He hopes you didn’t notice it was porn. You totally did. But you decided to give him that much.

“What’re you doing in here!” He hisses at you, and you press a finger up to your lips to silence him. His eyes are wide.

“I had a nightmare,” you whisper, sitting on his bed. You could act none the wiser.

“Okay? Go back to the couch, dude,” he mutters quietly. You smirk to yourself in the darkness as you try to get under the covers with him.

“No, go away,” he says, blocking you from getting underneath them with him.

“What’s wrong with you?” You say, and go to lift the covers again. He blocks you once more.

“Dude, seriously, get out. Where’s JJ?” He whispers sharply, and you roll your eyes.

“He’s sleeping. I didn’t want to wake him up. He has work tomorrow—”

“I don’t care! Go bother him with this!”

“Shut up, your room has a fan and it’s hot—”

“If you don’t leave right now I’m gonna call him—”

“Stop it! Just let me sleep here,” you pout.

The window was open just enough in John B.’s room for you to see the pale blue moonlight on his skin.

You can feel the arousal in your stomach as you think about what he was doing. Think about his moans, and his hands under the covers. It’s the sex deprived part of your brain that responds to him.

“I know what you were doing, y’know,” you clarify. He sighs and lays back in his bed, covering his face with his hands. You take the opportunity to straddle him over the covers. He’s still half hard.

“What the fuck!” He whispers, and you lay your head into his shoulder as you start to move your hips, languidly grinding over his erection. He starts breathing hard again, like he was earlier.

“This is bad, get off me,” he says, but makes no move to get you off of him.

He swallows harshly.

“You’re… You’re JJ’s sister. If he finds out…”

The comforter bunches up underneath you and you press hard to feel the pressure  through your shorts.

You move to kiss him, and he responds eagerly. It’s the heat in his room even though the fan is whirring, and the idea of doing something so forbidden, not only pogue on pogue’s sister, but sex in a house where other people are sleeping in various rooms next door.

He’s almost aggressive, and excited. Very excited. You can feel his excitement now.

You sit back on your heels and you strip yourself of your shirt, bare underneath. John B. pulls the comforter down and slips off his underwear that were sitting around his ankles. He sits up and starts stroking the head of his penis.

You watch as he leans over for more lotion, taking a careful handful to his dick. It’s slick and loud again, the way he pumps. It’s obscene. It makes your heart race.

It’s harder to slip off your shorts and underwear but you do anyway, and you’re both left with no clothes and unbearable arousal.

But the door opens and your heart jumps into your throat. You’ve been caught. This, whatever this was, is over before it started. You shield your naked body  on John B.’s chest, your face into his shoulder.

It drops even further when you hear the voice of whoever walked in.

“Oh, shit, get some man, my bad,” JJ quips, clearly high and sleep deprived, closing the door quickly.

You and John B. breathe heavily together in darkness.

“Was… did he see us?” You ask quickly.

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Does he know it’s me?”

“I don’t think he saw us,” he says, eyes wide with adrenaline.

“Holy shit,” you mutter, resting your head on his shoulder.

“Yeah,” he says, and looks at you.

“You wanna keep going?”

You respond by pressing your lips to John B.’s neck, and he leans over for you, grabbing at your thighs and ass, fisting a hand into your hair.

“We should hurry up,” he recommends, and you giggle softly.

You lay down next to him and you lay a hand over his chest so he doesn’t get up, taking his cock into your own hands. Your hands would be so soft after all the lotion he smothered on it. You apply firm pressure to the head, and pull gently, up and down. You feel his hips chase your hand when you tug upward on it, and your bicep moves with his chest as he breathes.

“Condoms?” You whisper, and his head pops up, no not that one, and he points to the bedside table.

“In there,” he whispers, and you let him take over as you rifle through loose change and pokemon cards and even more lotion, wow.

But you find one, and struggle ripping open the ribbed edge with lotion hands, so John B. helps you. He pinches the tip and rolls it onto his cock like he’s done it before many times. He keeps a steady hand on his cock and keeps stroking it as he rummages around blindly in the drawer before slamming it shut a little too hard.

“C’mere,” he says, nodding you over, and you straddle him again, this time on his thighs, watching intently as he squirts lube onto his palm, groaning as he takes himself into his hand again. He coats it generously, and he takes his hand away, dick throbbing in front of you.

You’re nervous for him.

“Do you wanna… lay down, or…” he ponders, and you don’t know, but you say yes anyway.

He shifts so you’re on your back and you’re waiting for him, your thighs resting on each of his and he scoots closer to you, bed creaking as he moves.

“You ready?” He asks, and you nod slowly. He takes the tip of his cock, and runs from where you were wet for him up to your clit, each time pushing in just a little bit inside of you. You get used to the pace and he takes his time, leaning over you to give you kisses, and it hurts and stings and you feel yourself stretch around him but he’s gentle.

He only goes about halfway in before he pulls out, moving back and forth, going a little bit deeper each time. It’s nice to feel so full, have him so warm and so close when the night breeze starts to pick up. He plants his hands by your head, on his pillows, and he moves a little faster as you touch yourself, rubbing circles into your clit.

His mouth is all over you, your neck, your chest, your shoulders, and when he pulls away, you attack him with the same ferocity. You swear he almost cums when you get dangerously close to his adam’s apple.

He’s not that vocal, which is good for this current moment in time, but you’d have to work on it when you two were all alone. You wonder how loud he’d be in a house all alone, just the two of you, and as you start to pick up speed, so does he.

His hips are relentless against yours, his stomach hard and his balls tight against him as he pushes in and out. He’s about to cum, you can tell by his face, and you rub yourself as fast as you can, panting hard as he pulls out. You squeeze your legs together and he strokes his tip fast, and then slows down, resting a head heavy on your knee as you cum, grinding up against the air, head back in ecstasy as the warmth overtakes you, little bolts of electricity shooting through your veins from head to toe. He whimpers softly as he slips off the condom, tying it off and dropping it on the floor next to his bed.

“Ew,” you say out loud, and he lays down on his side, pulling you close to him.

He pulls the covers over you two.

“Just don’t step on it when you wake up tomorrow,” he whispers, and you turn around to bury your face in his neck as he falls asleep.

THE next morning, you’re sure everyone can tell. You had been prepared to sleep in a tank top and shorts, which you were not going to walk out into the kitchen in, where everyone was after JJ made breakfast. The only reasonable other option was wearing one of John B.’s shirts.

JJ greets you with furrowed brows.

“Is that John B.’s shirt?” He asks immediately, shoveling pancakes down his throat. Everyone else at the table looks up at you, and says nothing.

“Yeah,” you say, and quickly come up with an excuse. “It was… My tank top got all sweaty from last night, because it was so hot,” you say. You don’t know if they believe it, but JJ pushes an empty plate toward your seat. John B. is the only one who doesn’t look up at you. His eyes are locked in on the scrambled eggs on his plate.

Pope, seated next to John B., immediately points out his bruises.

“Woah, who’d you get into a fight with?” He asks, and John B. goes to cover up the hickey on his neck.

“Someone’s lips last night,” JJ jokes, taking a sip of his juice.

“I walked in on his getting down and dirty,” He explains, and the table ‘oohs’ and ‘ahhs’. Except for you.

Talk resumes until JJ notices the almost identical bruise on your neck.

“Wait, is that a bruise? Is that…” he says, leaning over the kitchen table to pull at your collar.

“Who the fuck did you get a hicky from?” He asks, and you pull away.

“None of your business, stop being weird.”

Kie gasps, pulling her hands up to her mouth.

“You guys did not…” She starts, and your eyes go wide.

“Did not what?” John B. asks fiercely, trying to play dumb, but just coming off as defensive.

“Guys,” Pope chastises, putting his fork on his plate and leaning back in ihs chair to run a hand through his hair.

JJ finally connects the dots.

“THAT WAS YOU?!”

The table erupts into madness.

okay this is a random rant but i’m like scared to orgasm? i get to the very end, literally ABOUT to finish and i get scared and stop and i literally don’t know how to train my mind to not be scared of it. it’s so frustrating bc i WANT to but every time i feel like i need to pee i know i’m close but then i stop smhhhh

hi! I haven’t been active lately but this ask has been ruminating with me for a while. I might hop on the wagon again with something not OBX related, but nothing is for sure. I’ve been reading a lot and just hanging out a lot with friends and family which is nice, and I’m sorry it took so long for me to get to this.

Try putting a towel down. It’s not uncommon for you to feel that way! Peeing before you start, or even doing in it the tub or shower can help you not be afraid of making a mess. This isn’t a health advice blog and I’m definitely not a medical professional, but I think as a writer of smut and someone who is very pro sex and masturbation it’s important to embrace the messy parts of pleasure as well as the challenges they present.

big love y’all. talk to ya soon.

i love between the devil and the deep blue sea!! is there gonna be a chapter 2 and if so do you have a posting schedule? much love💗

hi!! i’ve planned for it, but life just gets in the way haha. i haven’t written it out yet, but when the inspiration strikes it’ll happen bub! so as of right now I don’t have a posting schedule. typically though, for my blog, i’m posting the most on weekends and always at night, probably after seven eastern time. in the meantime I’m working on some jj requests, some john b. requests, and a frank castle mafia fic which I’m really excited about, so let me know if you want me to throw you on the tag list for that. big love, stay safe!