Quezon

📌 Quezon

From almost 4-hour ordinary bus rides, to good drinking sessions, beach and bonfires. I had a nice time with my co-artists for two days around Lucena (Dae’s hometown) and had a risky stormy last trip to Lucban just to get goodies worthy to take home.

Overall, t'was a fulfilling one.

An ode to self-apology. Apologies for the summer heart slowly turned to fall, to the unrecorded melodies of moments and unfinished wordplay of a song. Magnifying the lack, letting it win and repeatedly crying over the lesser ability to reach a dream. To the days the mind forgets to rest missing out the soft whispers of the heart. So as to the ideas that die inside, hands idle, blank.

I like it when I am consumed by a film, song or a band (a person too hah). It creates a different world where I can think outside the box idk i like it so much that it pains me not being able to document it or even miss a momentum not having the time to write about it, on the spot. This morning, felt that. No clue why this day felt alive?

Mood.

A raw compilation of the finest feels in Zambales. 

Perhaps, I’ll be documenting more of these for my upcoming travels. Actually, I have been meaning to do vlogs and maybe I’ll start here for the mean time. Eventually, play with my own ideas and make it better bits by bits. For now, here’s a snippet for a short + quiet travel vlog. I fixed my channel, finally! :)

 Link

There are days I like my life in order. Never wanted it too fancy or unrealistic. I have my moments where I am craving for organized and serene. There are times, I wake up wishing I'm snuggling next to someone warm and only worry about what's good for breakfast. There are times, I wanna ride my bike alone and feel the breeze of a good location where one could be free and not be slaved down by the system. I can't wait to feel life more in the next days, this intense love to fix what I think is wrong is so strong, I think it's going to work. I hope.

I’m doing clean ups with my old stuff and I found my stack of journals/planners since 2010 and I giggled as I browsed through it, it’s so young and expressive in a lot of ways. T'was fun to look at.

But, what really caught my attention is this mysterious folded page that I already forgot about in my 2014 planner. Opened and found it sweet because t'was my 2014 self that wrote just in case I stumble upon this one in present time.

And yes, I’m going to share the content:

Dear future Porshe, 

“You’re prolly wondering why the past Porshe wrote this for you. Well, right at this moment I hope you find what you’re looking for, that could be a success in career, probably love, or something else. But let me remind you of this day, you wrote this missing all what you’ve done before. I hope you’re not thinking of the same shit now though. I hope you truly moved on to the sad past of what ifs and endless road not taken questions. You deserve more, forgot about your worth for a very long time. But, I hope you didn’t get tired of searching for someone who will choose to stay no matter what. You’ve been tough and I hope up until now you’re still that, better if stronger, but capable of giving love to anybody. I’ve made a lot of mistakes before and I hope you got it right, now. I hope you’re in love or if not? Established, fulfilled, happy alone with your family and everyone else. Are you a graduate now? Cos if you are? I’m f-ing proudest, cos you earned it and I know you’ve been through a lot in between the time I wrote this to the time you’re reading this laughing, giggling or crying. It doesn’t matter. What about your shirt business? Is it on-going? Remember that was the dream? I hope you worked hard to make this happen. I’m pretty much excited to see you soon and I hope you don’t disappoint me once I get there. You know I’m counting on you. I’m gonna work harder and dream more after this because if I don’t start now, well, my other self tomorrow won’t do it too. Do you have your own house now? What’s it like? Is your family in good condition? Did you help Papa? I hope all of your selfishness is gone now. I’m hoping you’re a better version of Porshe compared to yesterday which is me. I hope you’re capable of challenging yourself in a different level. And I pray you haven’t given up. I know you’re in a better life. I hope you’re happy and contented. I wish you’re proud of me, too. I’ve come to realize that I needed to move forward because that’s where you’re at now. Love endlessly, hope and never forget to pray because I’ve done it a lot in the past and I’m sure it’ll help you along the way.”

Love,  Past Porshe

Cute, with a hint of sad on it. I like the part how I sounded really hopeful and strong though. Honestly, this is the kind of subtle reprimand I neede, gave a lot better impact because it’s from me. Lol, don’t worry old self, I’m all good in some aspects, stronger in a better sense (because I have to) although I’m not really in my greatest yet. Wait up, I’ll get there.

Timely, thank you.