Cant Make A Sound

can’t make a sound

(diluc x reader)

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All day Diluc couldn't shake the uneasy feeling that settled in his chest since he woke up. It felt as if he was missing something. All day he's been trying to recall what it was as the feeling only grew as time went on. His day went by just as any other. He woke up early as always, went to the tavern, worked his usual shift with his usual rowdy customers. The only eventful thing he did today was grab dinner with Jean at a new restaurant that had recently opened up. He would’ve declined but Charles convinced him telling him he can manage the tavern by himself, plus he remembered how you always tell him to put himself out there more often, especially when it comes to his close friends. Jean had free time after so long and he decided that it'd be nice to catch up with an old friend once in a while so he took up her offer and enjoyed it very much. But after dinner the heavy feeling didn’t go away. Even after a few hours of his usual patrol as Dark Knight Hero the feeling only got heavier than before.

Since there was no signs of any unusual activity tonight Diluc had decided to call it a night earlier than usual. Deciding to make his way home earlier to try and at least spend some time with you if he can. He’s been very busy as of late. The only time he sees you is when he goes to bed, though you're already asleep before him most of the time. The time was just about past midnight, it was still early for calling it a night as he usually stays later but the feeling in his chest made him uneasy.

Upon arriving at the Dawn Winery everything was dark and quiet. He made his way upstairs and saw no one in sight, guessing everyone had already called it a night a few hours ago. As he neared your shared bedroom he saw the light peeking through the cracks of the doors. A small smile made its way on his lips, though he didn’t like you staying up late he really did want to spend some time with you tonight.

“Y/n?” Diluc calls out, opening the door to see what you were doing.

You had your back facing him as you were looking through your closet, you only froze upon hearing him call your name.

“Y/- dear what are you still doing up?” Diluc questions, closing the door behind him. He took a good look at the outfit you were currently wearing. It was one you’ve been saving for a special occasion. He was a bit confused as to why you were wearing it right now as it was late. You were usually in your pajamas by now.

“Dear?” Diluc’s eyebrows draw together, confused as to why you haven’t even turned to greet him and why you haven’t given him a response though he called you twice.

Now, if this were any other night you would be more than happy to see Diluc home so early. You were relieved he was, you knew he was safe at least and weren’t worried anymore. But you weren’t sure if you could face him right now. It’s been a few minutes since it turned into a new day but yesterday was your birthday. Diluc had told you he’d take you out for dinner at a new restaurant that had opened up a few weeks ago telling you to not plan anything else since he wanted to take you out. Only, he never showed. You had gotten ready hours prior, you were beyond excited to finally spend time with him as it has been too long since the last time you both had a night out. You had even canceled your planned visit to your mothers today just to go out with him since you both haven’t had much time to spend together. You patiently waited for his arrival, sitting down by the front entrance as you smiled at the clock after every hour passed. 4:00 was the time he promised to pick you up.

When the clock hit 4:00 the butterflies in your stomach made you feel giddy, like it was your first date all over again. You were nervous, checking your appearance in the mirror next to the door before you sat down on the chair. Your coat and other belongings laid on your lap, ready to go once he arrives.

4:40 hit, you only thought that he had been caught up in some tavern business, excusing it for something he can’t control.

5:00 hit you were slightly worried but still waited for him, believing he would still make it even if something came up.

By 6:00 you heard a knock on your door and thought he had finally arrived only to see Amber standing on the other side instead of Diluc. Along with her she brought a gift, she wished you a happy birthday and said that tomorrow she wanted to treat you. She started telling you about her eventful day and you were more than happy to have company after being alone all day so you happily listened, only then did Amber let it slip that she saw Jean and Diluc having dinner together at a restaurant before she left. Amber didn’t know that Diluc had made plans with you; she was only telling you because she thought you’d want to know it all. Upon hearing that the butterflies in your stomach turned to something heavy.

Amber left shortly after you thanked her for the gift and promised to meet her for lunch tomorrow. It was when you closed the door that everything hit you. Diluc had forgotten and he was having dinner with someone else. You weren’t necessarily the jealous type no, but hearing this left a bitter taste in your mouth. It would’ve been fine if it were any other day for sure, you don’t mind Diluc having dinner with others but on your birthday? Plus at the place he promised to take you out to? Not only that but Jean was someone you always felt insecure around. When you first met Diluc you thought he and Jean were dating but they both told you otherwise, laughing it off saying they were nothing more than childhood friends. Even when Diluc confessed to you, you couldn’t help but be skeptical still thinking that he and Jean were a better fit. It didn’t help that everyone else around them said the same. But Diluc’s assured you many times, he always did, that no one is a better fit for him than you. He always told you to stop saying such things. But you can’t help but wonder what if he was only telling you to stop saying it so he wouldn’t start to believe it was true as well? You felt horrible, you couldn’t help but let the feeling take over though. You respected Jean and thought of her as a good friend but when it came to Diluc you couldn’t help but see them as a better fit than you and him.

You couldn’t help but let your mind spiral. You made your way to your bedroom and sat on your bed. But despite all this, despite the feeling in your chest you had a small sliver of hope. Even after hearing that he already had dinner you still had prayed that he would come home early and at least spend some time with you. You would try to swallow the bitter taste, if he could just be here, explain, you’d understand. But hours slowly slipped by, you couldn’t bring yourself to move. Your mind only wandered too deep and made you hurt more than you already were. You felt embarrassed. Felt forgotten, felt easily replaceable.

The small rays of sunlight peeking through your window curtains were long gone. You begrudgingly lift your head to look at the time again, now reading 12:05. A defeated sigh escapes your lips, you wipe the fresh tears off your face, deciding it’s a good time to call it a night and just go to bed. You didn’t even hear him enter the house. Only when he called out your name did you realize he had finally come home. You froze.

You didn’t dare look up, turn to him, your grasp tightened around the closet door. Your bottom lip started to wobble and you had to bite down to not let a sound escape you. You already felt hurt, but Diluc clearly still hasn’t remembered, only making you feel worse.

“Did you go somewhere earlier?” Diluc breaks the silence once again, taking a few steps in, trying to get a peek of your face that he’s missed so much but you didn’t move from your spot.

You only shake your head no, the only thing you we're able to do as you knew if you were to speak up I’d give away the state you were in.

Diluc’s chest felt heavier than it’s felt all day. Why were you being so unresponsive? Did he do something wrong? You weren’t even looking at him.

“Love, did you go out today? Why are you up so late? Were you waiting for me? ” He asked and you had to hold back a bitter laugh that so desperately wanted to escape. You waited for him all day alright. All you could do was nod your head no.

“Today was actually ok at work,” He spoke up. “More tame than normal. I also grabbed lunch with Jean earlier as she invited me out, it was actually quite enjoyable. Seeing her not stress over work is very rare, though I think the knights are insufficient, seeing her work so hard makes me have some faith in them. It’s good to see her take some time off.” He tells you about his day as he removes his coat, he’s not really one to do so but he hoped it would get you to say something other than nodding your head. This time though not even a head nod was given from you, you just stood still and Diluc grew more worried.

“Y/n, why aren’t you responding to me?” Diluc asks, his concern growing even more. You still haven’t even turned around. His long legs took quick strides up to your frame, his hand reached out and brushed your arm only to feel you quickly move out of his grasp, bringing your arm around your body. Diluc only stared down at you, hurt and confused as to why you reacted in such a way.

You backed up from him, putting distance between the two of you until you felt your hip hit your bedside table, Diluc hesitantly made his way closer to you, not wanting you to recoil again.

“Y/n what’s wrong…” Dilucs voice trailed off as he caught a glimpse of a beautifully wrapped small box on your nightstand. He never gave you that. Did you buy it? Did someone else give it to you? What's inside? Ifsomeone did give it to you, who did? Diluc’s mind raced with questions but his thoughts came to a halt the uneasy feeling in his chest became far worse as he realized just what it was that he forgot. It dawned on him the more he stared at the box. The feeling of him missing something important, he couldn’t put his finger on it earlier but he remembers everything now. He remembers the plans he made with you. Your outfit now made much more sense to him, your lack of response and refusal to look at him made him realize exactly what he missed, your birthday.

“Y/n I’m so-”

“No, don’t apologize,“ You tighten your arms around your torso, feeling embarrassed as your head hung low, not wanting him to see your tears . “Excuse me, I just want to get changed and go to bed.” You try to step around him, not daring to look him in the eyes. He stood in front of you blocking your way as you uncomfortably shifted from one side to another.

Dilucs heart felt heavy; you've never moved away from his touch, you usually melt into his embrace. You weren’t letting him look at your face but he knew you were crying, hearing your small sniffles was him.

“No it’s not. Please, let me- let me make it up to you. Tomorrow! I’ll take tomorrow off! We can spend the whole day together and-“

“No need. Tomorrow I have plans with Amber. I wouldn't want to cancel at the last minute” You cut him off as you quickly wipe the fresh tears that rolled down your face. Diluc took a few hesitant steps towards you not wanting you to back away from his touch again.

He felt horrible. How could he have forgotten? Your birthday was the only birthday he ever saw as special, the only one he ever celebrated.

“Y/n I promise it slipped from my mind I didn’t-“

“At least our reservation didn’t go to waste, Jean and you went so you finally tried the restaurant you’ve been telling me about. You’ve both been working hard, you deserve it.” You force a smile on your face trying to convince yourself that it was fine but saying it aloud hurts even more than in your head.

Diluc’s usual frown made its way back into his face. His outstretched hand fell to his side as he heard what you said. He felt horrible, he brought it up without knowing because he forgot. He rubbed it in only making you feel worse without knowing.

“I’m tired, I want to go to sleep.” You sigh again. Feeling your eyes burn as you rub them again, you didn’t want to hear anything right now, your mind wasn’t in a good state and you knew he was trying to make it better but you only felt worse.

“Please. Dear, please don’t say that. Let me make it up to you, let me take you out, it wasn't my intention to leave you alone.” Diluc pleaded, as you finally looked up at him, giving him a small smile.

“No need to be sorry. I'd want to have dinner with her too if she invited me .” You let out a small laugh. Hearing him talk about her only made you hurt more, not aiding your insecure heart one bit. “Besides, my birthday is easily forgettable, it’s not a big deal.” You lie, you were trying to make yourself believe it was fine but you were hurting yourself more than you needed to.

“Hey no. Y/n stop, I'm serious. Don’t say such nonsense that isn’t true.” His eyebrows furrowed, it’s been a while since you brought this up. He knows how touchy this subject is to you. He doesn’t like when you bring yourself down or compare yourself to others. He knows you can’t help it but it hurts him to know you feel less worthy and not as important as others. In his eyes you’re his everything, but you never seem to believe him every time he tells you.

He hesitantly reaches his hand out to the side of your face gently cupping your cheek in his warm hand. You felt your eyes immediately shut but stopped your head from nuzzling into his embrace.

“I’m going to ask you something. Please tell me the truth. It’s a selfish question but I need to know the answer Diluc.” You look him in the eyes for the first time tonight. He only shook his head, gesturing to you to go on.

You take a deep breath. The question has been one you’ve wanted to ask since forever. You're afraid you know the answer to this but you still had hope, a tiny sliver of hope it might be different from what you think it is.

“If you had to choose, would you chose her or me?” You ask, letting out a breath you were holding. You look up at him with anticipation, awaiting his answer.

You felt Diluc’s hand drop from your face, you couldn’t read his facial expression as you saw his mouth form a thin line. His lips parted but nothing came out. You got your answer then and there.

A small chuckle left your lips as you stepped around him, grabbing your coat and other belongings you carried.

“I’m going to visit my mom. She invited me yesterday. I rescheduled for no reason whatsoever. Thank you for answering the question I’ve been wanting to know.” You wipe your tears as you reach for the door knob, he made no attempt to move from his spot, you didn’t even bother looking back. You left the room, making your way downstairs to the main entrance. You reach out to the door knob hand slightly trembling as you do so, but you only take in a deep breath pushing forward. If he wanted to stop me he would’ve done so already. You told yourself over and over. You gently push the door open and make your way out, waking down the dark trail that led you out of the Dawn Winery. The night breeze made your tears dry fast as it all dawned down on you. He couldn’t choose you because it was her all along.

Diluc didn’t move, he couldn’t move. His mind yelled, screamed at him to go get you as he saw you walk out the room but he was in shock. Shocked by the question you asked, by how much this tore you apart, by how this was all too much for you and you couldn’t hold on anymore. After what felt like forever, Diluc’s legs moved, starting off in slow steps, turning into a full on sprint down the staircase and out the entrance only to find zero trace of you outside, or anywhere near the winery itself, you were gone, you left, because he couldn’t answer your question. He thought it was obvious all along, he thought you already knew the answer. “It’s you.” He heaves, out of breath from running out hoping to stop you. “It’s you.” He says again, his hands slightly pulling his hair as he frantically looks around. Still no signs of you. “It’s you.” The uneasy feeling in his chest turned into guilt. Today was a very important day to him indeed. Today was your birthday, the day that he always told you was special as you believed it wasn’t. He always promised to celebrate with you no matter what, but the one year it just so happened to slip his mind, you might’ve finally slipped through his fingers.

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authors note: hello!! hehehe angsty deelook fic :3 this prompt has been sitting in my head patiently waiting for me to write it for days now. I hope y’all are doing good and are staying safe and I do hope you all enjoy! <3

☁️ 𝐆𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐃 𝐎𝐍 𝐌𝐄 — tribbing hcs

feat: beidou + lisa + ningguang + yelan

cw: afab!gn!reader (pussy + cunt + clit are used to describe genitalia), implied dom/sub dynamics, further warnings included prior to each character’s section

minors, i DO NOT CONSENT to you interacting with me. 18+ only, please.

Keep reading

“I give you this ring as a symbol of my love”

synopsis: little snippets about Genshin men and their wedding rings

pairing: Albedo, Ayato, Diluc, Childe, Kaeya, Thoma, Xiao, Zhongli (separately) x reader

tw: established relationship, pure fluff, mention of Childe’s real name, spoiler for Zhongli’s identity

word count: 2.3k+ words in total

Albedo

The Chief Alchemist is the most creative on this whole list when it comes to your wedding rings. First of all, they are undoubtedly matching, have the most intricate design he put a lot of meaning into and everything from the sketch to the final product was done by his own hands with your preferences and additions kept in mind. Secondly, he wouldn’t be himself if he didn’t make use of his vast knowledge and alchemy skills.

You have absolutely no idea how he managed to do it, but the man made some sort of connection between the two rings. Since both of you never take it off, even in biting cold both bands remain warm - because the skin of one another keeps it as such and transfers it to the twin ring, creating a constant heat exchange.

But that’s not all! Albedo is truly a genius, because he made metal receptive to the touch. If you rub your ring, your lover will receive a feeling as if you are gliding the tips of your fingers right where his own ring is wrapped and vice versa. This helps a lot when his work requires his presence on Dragonspine for a long period of time. You can exchange small kisses and caresses like this and it is really comforting and gives both of you strength to carry on with your tasks until you meet again.

And believe me, Albedo is aware how special and unique you feel ever since he presented you with such an invention for you two to share. Thus, if one day someone learns of your rings’ secret and comes to him with a request to create the same pair - he’ll refuse no matter how much mora offered. He worked hard to make you happy and every moment he managed is sacred to him.

Keep reading

pussyjob with gorou only it's ur clit on his knot

being wrapped in gorou's arms was the most comfortable, safest place you could be. he smelled sweet and he was so warm and loving, giving you the loveliest kisses and squeezing you tightly in a hug from time to time just to remind you that he was there.

what you loved even more was when you were both completely bare while you were in his lap, his arms wrapped around your waist with one strong hand splayed over your back, gently caressing your spine in encouragement.

having his reassuring touches on your body urged you to quicken the pace against him; his cock flat on his belly with your perfect cunt spread open on him, leaving sticky slick behind as you rubbed against his length.

there was an indiscernible swell at the base of him that you couldn't resist humping your hard little clit against. the action had gorou keening immediately, eyes rolling back as he nails bit into your skin in response.

"c-careful, baby," he whimpers, his back arching just slightly when you continue rocking against the hard swell of his knot, "i-it's sensitive..."

you lean back, bracing your weight against his strong thighs, giving him the complete and perfect view of your pretty body. your tits sway with the movements of your hips so enticingly that he can't resist cupping them in his hands. your own come up to place your hands over his, fastening your pace over his knot.

he whimpers loudly, completely unashamed by the pleasure he's feeling. when he looks down his cock visibly twitches against this stomach as the sight of your sticky folds spread wide and your clit grinding against the swell of his knot.

you're either an angel sent to bless him or you're a punishment sent to absolutely ruin him.

and with the way you're cumming all over his knot so hard that he can feel your clit pulse against him, head tossed back so your throat is exposed — he's pretty sure it's the latter.

with the sight of you coming undone atop him, looking so pretty and vulnerable, he can't help but reach his own end. it's embarrassing, cumming do easily just from having his sweet lover humping his knot but when he can see how you've creamed a gooey mess just for him, he can't hold it back.

cum spits from his cock, an obscene amount that spills all over his bare stomach and chest, some even shooting all the way to his face but he doesn't care, not when you're whimpering and riding him through his high like the precious thing you are. <3

@xiax // do not modify or repost

i like him, not you!

synopsis: in which you’ve finally mustered up the courage to express a bashful confession to your best friend and six-year crush…only to accidentally dispatch your heartfelt message to the wrong person.

character/s: albedo, ayato, childe, kazuha, xiao, scaramouche, thoma

a/n: @sohyuki ilysm have a wonderful day queen <3

the first thing you do is run away.

in a way, you have always been good at that. scampering from those undivulged words and imminent encounters that instilled fear in you. it spoke to you almost like a natural instinct, left you with a bitter taste on your tongue, tormented you with a sick sensation twisting your stomach.

because of this, you ran from a lot of things. from your parents whenever they frowned upon a low grade on your report card, from a pompous asshole you later mustered the tiniest courage to shove down during fourth grade, from the unwitting attention of sunbeam-amber eyes meeting yours, and from your best friend whom you’ve practically loved for the longest time.

and you decide the last one is something you’ll finally want to quit running away from.

eight little letters and three simple words, yet for six long years they have meant more than the world to you. he has always meant more than the world to you.

so you attempt to construct it all within proper sentences — desperately trying not to jumble up your phrases while trying to provide the impression that you sure as hell hadn’t been shaking tremendously as you wrote it.

but it’s so difficult to even spare a meek glance at it. so annoying that it pesters thrumming vibrations in the depths of your stupid heart. so fucking frustrating that you don’t actually bother looking at it anymore when your fingers hover over the word ‘send’.

you’ve shut your phone off after that singular moment, and stashed it away in a nearby drawer for safekeeping. and for the entire weekend, you convince yourself that you didn’t really care anymore. six years didn’t matter because you weren’t expecting an answer. just an outlet for these emotions and a burden lifted off your weighted shoulders.

and for the first time in a long while, you acknowledge how liberating it feels to not want to run.

Y/N’S CONTACTS.

him <3 (kaedehara kazuha)

✉ 4:47 am, april 4th (mon).

[ 1 new message! ] : psst. arcade after class today? :)

ah, but who would be an idiot not to fall for him?

you’ve guessed he’s received so many incessant compliments and heartfelt confessions, that despite how frustratingly courteous he was — could never actually bother wasting his time sorting through each and every one of them.

so you figure that you’re in the clear, and he won’t have to burden himself with formulating a sharp answer.

or at least, that’s what you reassure yourself when monday comes around and he greets you with an ever-familiar and warm smile.

and is also perhaps why he pretends like nothing has actually happened…

because if that happened to be the case, he was rather good at acting pretty normal. you knew that if you’d ever received such a confession from somebody, you would have been freaking out a lot more — and depending on whether you reciprocated their emotions, either avoiding or confronting them.

but this…was a little too cold of a reaction.

and yet, at the same time, you were thankful he still kept approaching and talking to you as usual. above all, kazuha was your best friend before he was the person you wanted to be romantically involved with. you could never really bear the thought of losing him as a close confidante.

but it hurt like hell because he was always too kind, always too impossible not to love. always with the 1 am calls and his soft voice when you couldn’t fall asleep. always with the weekend home visits to his place so you could share a meal together. always with the sleepovers or out catching a midnight film. always a shoulder to lean on when the tears were too much. always, always there.

you know he’ll never love you the way you knew just exactly how to love him. and that’s okay.

but if looks and words could have honestly fooled, it almost seemed like he was ridiculously unaware that you had even confessed to him in the first place.

everything stayed the same.

and you can’t help but feel sick at the reality, because a part of you wanted to believe that kazuha was in love with you, at least once in his life and perhaps never again. in sleepless turned drowsy midnight calls, in fleeting glances inside the deserted cinema, in homemade meals and warm smiles, in drowning tears and comforting hugs. in the briefest of seconds when he realized you were always there.

but the thing about love is that it’s blinded you enough to not think about the probability that he might just like you. that he may or may not have been avoiding all other confessions because he only hoped for yours. that he may be hesitating every time you two get closer because he thinks you won’t want him back. that at 1 am while you’re whispering softly through the phone about your day, kazuha’s thinking about all the pragmatic reasons not to blurt out mid-conversation that he’s always been madly in love with you.

you know one thing for sure when you dazedly stare at your phone later that day. love has blinded you enough to not think twice about why kazuha might not be acting any differently than you had initially expected. why he’s so infuriatingly unfazed. why he should have been having a more violent reaction instead of making the same silly jokes with you.

and boy, you’re bewildered when you find two chat notifications waiting in your message box. one from kazuha, inviting you to the nearby arcade after class…except for some absurd reason, there’s no record of an embarrassingly heartfelt confession registered in your shared chat history.

the second from a boy you barely knew but always subconsciously noticed in class, sitting rather ominously in your DMs with the strangest of messages. and it’s only when you begrudgingly open your shared chat, that you clearly feel how your heart stops in one horrifying instant.

because sitting there in the most unexpected of places, lies the culmination of six long years building up to a terribly emotional confession.

but…it’s not for the boy you had hoped would receive it.

that guy in class (xiao)

✉ 11:54 pm, april 2nd (sat).

[ 1 new message! ] : who are you?

xiao wishes there was a guidebook for how to handle all probable awkward situations, in the unfortunate circumstance that he’d ever find himself impossibly lodged in the middle of one.

but there’s none that exist to date. and he thinks not even the internet can help him figure out what to respond to a sudden and random heartfelt confession sitting peacefully in his message inbox.

he hasn’t exactly done anything to be loved or wanted by anyone. and at first, your contact name barely registers anyone he recognizes in his head. so he sends the first question he thinks of as a response, and shuts his phone to close his eyes and rest.

but then sunday morning comes and it clicks. he remembers. he knows who you are. because of that, xiao finds it all absurd.

it wasn’t like he intended to stare at you. he was always prone to dozing off mid-classes, eyes instinctively sweeping across every inch of the classroom, outside the window to greet the blinding light of the morning sun, and then reluctantly retreating back inside…

only to see you. and for you to see him.

so the odd pattern repeats. everyday.

you’d think he have broken out of such a quirky habit of looking. he’d think you’d have stopped meeting his eyes every single time. but you always manage to see each other — and past that, neither of you dare make the effort to talk to one another.

it was some sort of unspoken understanding between you two, momentary peace that isn’t built on a real connection. just that he finds comfort in your eyes, while you’re left breathless at his.

but for you to confess, and oh so suddenly without any particular reason to make you like him.

so he realizes the message presently occupying his DMs (and unconsciously plaguing his thoughts) isn’t truly meant for him.

monday eagerly arrives, and he stares. more often than usual, more often than he’d want to. he wonders if you’ve noticed how you fucked up, because he’s almost certain he knows who your vulnerable confession is intended for.

and it’s late in the afternoon when you shyly pull him aside to talk about it. how embarrassed you were by your clumsy mistake, how deeply you felt apologetic for sending it to him, but most importantly of all —

“i’m really sorry, but i like someone else and not you!”

strange how your first conversation turns out like this. he’s always imagined it would begin very differently. perhaps with you pointing out the fact that he always gazes at you, him asking you in return why you always look back.

and almost on impeccable cue, you suddenly smile and tell him about all the times you recognized him because of how often your eyes met, even though you’ve never talked to each other. you’re sorry for not talking with him sooner.

but xiao thinks nothing is going to change just because you’ve verbally acknowledged each other.

he was sort of wrong. the next time you met glances, you smiled. several more times after you’ve started doing it, he starts to reciprocate with the smallest of smiles too — the kind that makes you feel like its your shared little secret.

and you’ve both changed in certain ways. you talked with each other more often, occupying vacated classrooms during breaks and making a bit more room for each other within your drastically different lives. he even starts to join you during lunch whenever kazuha was too occupied with homework, and lets you drag him along to amusement parks or anime events you presumed kazuha wasn’t too interested in.

but the craziest part about it all was that you admitted to never actually confessing to kazuha after all that’s happened.

perhaps you were left traumatized by your previous opportunity to confess to your best friend. perhaps because of a certain “someone’s” consistent jokes, you were too horrified to ever want to confess to somebody ever again. perhaps you were simply confused about the new boy weaving his way into your life.

one thing’s for sure, xiao feels strangely relieved that you decided not to send the actual message to your crush.

and maybe even a little dirty part of him hopes you’ll eventually forget about confessing to kazuha at the end of it all.

saturday boyfriend (childe)

✉ 9:06 am, april 5th (tues).

[ 1 new message! ] : so you’re the girl who likes xiao?

the thing is, childe could have never actually perceived the day when he’d get a phone call late in the evening from xiao, inquiring about what to say in response to an abrupt confession from a stranger.

his brusque and characteristically quiet best friend — had suddenly gotten some crazy chick to fall for him? with that shitty personality?

oh, the unexpected news gave childe the laughter of a lifetime. and yet, he couldn’t help but feel curious about the idea of it. what kind of interesting person would ever be attracted to someone like that guy? (respectfully, of course.)

fortunately to satiate the whirlwind of questions that night, xiao later sends him a text of your name with a message not to bother you.

and childe’s eyes go wide when he eventually puts a face to the name. you, the weird chick always absently staring over at xiao in classes?

perhaps he should’ve seen it coming. he did think it was weird how he sometimes found you glancing quietly towards his friend. but he sort of assumed you’d have liked kazuha instead — you know, your actual best friend — over some guy you’ve never even talked to in your life.

so with the right determination, he makes it his personal mission the following monday to devote his own precious time for a stakeout. because who’s to say you weren’t secretly some disgusting pervert targeting your uninhibited emotions to an innocent classmate?

childe observes you from afar the whole day. from the moment you found your seat in class that morning, watching you lock eyes with xiao mid-science discussion, routinely tagging along with kazuha for lunch, and even as you’re concentrating on a note-taking phase during the afternoon break.

you haven’t made any explicit moves towards xiao…yet. it’s a rather normal and innocuous day for you.

until afternoon comes — and near the school gates, he watches as you awkwardly tug xiao aside to talk to him briefly. childe pauses in his steps, staring at your huddled silhouettes while attempting to decipher the distinct mood of the conversation. he sees you smile at one point, and how you courteously greet each other goodbye when it’s over.

did xiao accept your feelings then?

that night, he gets your number from a mutual friend, and sends you a harmless text message the next morning. if xiao reciprocated your interest in him that day, perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad to eventually get to know each other during the long run.

but when he arrives in school, he’s greeted by the sight of you staring at him in surprise and asking if you could spare him a minute of his time to talk. and it’s right then that you explain and attempt to clear up the misunderstanding that transpired between you and his best friend.

it still makes childe laugh at the absurdity of it whenever he thinks about the mistaken confession, and how throughly embarrassed you must have been for unhesitatingly sending it to a complete stranger.

from that fateful day on, you two started to become close friends. and to mark that unforgettably momentous occasion for you — childe would routinely find a way to weave his presence into your saturdays, bringing flowers, chocolates, typical department-store love letters, or text you a long ass cheap excuse of a profession — to remind you of your “beautifully executed confession”. even though really, it’s just a dumb excuse to poke infuriating jokes at you.

those continuous, and admittedly humorous endeavors of his, became some part of the reason why you could never bring yourself to confess to kazuha again…or anyone else for that matter.

and you know, maybe celibacy was the way your life was always destined to be. maybe you weren’t supposed to give out your heart to other guys, because you were solely meant to receive any form of romantic gesture every saturday from a certain ginger-haired bastard. and well, maybe it wasn’t the worst thing to have in the world.

or maybe he’s accidentally caught feelings when he suddenly put more thought than he should have, into picking out a gift on a random saturday.

maybe one average saturday, he’ll unconsciously fall for your smile and the sarcastic words of gratitude you’ll throw back at him.

and maybe, just maybe…on some imminent saturday, he won’t know what more to give other than his real and heartfelt confession to you.

homework hotline (albedo)

✉ 6:15 am, april 7th (thurs).

[ 1 new message! ] : hey, coming over to yours later for that project due next week.

you’ve had close friends come over to your apartment often, but none have ever made you feel as utterly relieved compared to when albedo visits.

it’s always been challenging for you to keep track of homework loads, or stay motivated while reviewing for an upcoming test due the end of the week. and albedo’s presence magically helps you to be productive with exactly all of that.

perhaps you feel more motivated, or somewhat pressured to accomplish tasks in the company of a person who’s actually mastered diligence. whatever it is, for the past few years it’s given you higher grades than you’ve ever expected to receive pitted against your previous academic years.

and ever since then, you’ve made it a point to always partner up together during projects, which he easily obliges to. plus, you’ve succeeded as a team in plenty of tasks for so long, that albedo naturally feels more inclined to work with you.

he also can’t deny that the company is indeed familiar and comfortable, therefore making it the most preferable alternative.

besides, he’s made himself at home in your apartment for a handful of years now, that it’s almost as if he practically lives together with you. an extra toothbrush left in your bathroom cupboard, a similar set of pillows and blankets stashed inside your closet, albedo’s hoodies and clothes folded in a neat pile within a separate drawer — his presence in your home was always just there.

which is why later that evening, as you and albedo are busy preparing dinner before you cram an overnight agenda of finishing several projects in advance, he casually suggests the idea of moving in together instead.

and it’s frankly not that terrible of an idea. the rent would be split between you both so you’d save much more, there would be no more trouble commuting to each other’s places to finish school-related tasks, house chores would be divided amongst the two of you, and albedo could occupy the apartment while you were out on weekly visits or sleepovers in kazuha’s.

so the deed is done. by the following week, you’ve already prepared other necessary accommodations, and albedo comes over with a small duffel bag (since most of his stuff was already left at your place) and a brand new key for your shared abode.

neither of you can really feel like something has changed. if anything, it seems more natural to have him permanently living with you because it makes things more convenient.

and ever since then, you’ve been constantly seen together a lot more frequently inside the university premises (causing some familiar faces grow envious at the sight of it), but the both of you preferred to keep your current home status as a personal secret so as not to fuel too many strange rumors.

you do homework with each other a lot more often. you’re also left in awe by the occasional detailed doodles scrawled across the corner pages of his lecture notebook. one late evening, you were wondering if it was the sleep taking over you, or he actually drew a little portrait of you on one of the tightly folded pages.

everyday, you’d take turns doing certain things during your well-deserved breaks. albedo, on one hand, teaches you how to draw and paint. you’re not exactly the best at artistic endeavors, but he was always patient and supportive, going as far as to provide specific remarks on the things you needed improvement with.

on other days, you’d convince him to sit down with you to binge food while watching your favorite films. he’d initially oblige to appease your kindness and hadn’t realized it at first — but at some later point, he ended up loving all the same movies as you did.

it’s slow but anticipated, the way he falls in love with you. perhaps a part of him has always seen this ending coming — recognized the dangerous path he was treading, and yet took it without any complaint.

even though he saw through your heart and how you wanted someone else. even as he witnessed the romantic gifts you carried back home with a giddy smile. even while he listens to you upsettingly vent about the most impertinent guy who keeps making his way back into your life.

because maybe deep down, he’s always hoped to love someone like this. the sound of your laughter filling his ears while making dinner. films on television illuminating your face in the darkness. yawns you stifle when it’s midnight and you’re almost finished with homework. fluttering eyes in the morning. enchanting smiles quirking across your lips. napping soundly on the study desk even though you kindly insisted on waiting up for him before you both slept. how it feels to talk about everything and nothing at the same time.

it’s natural and innate. foreign yet so familiar. a breath of fresh air. and yet, the feeling of home lingers across his fingertips.

a written, unchangeable, and hopeless destiny for albedo to always fall without constraint. and the saddest truth is — he wouldn’t have wanted this love for any other way.

BLOCKED — 4th grader asshole (scaramouche)

✉ 2:35 pm, april 9th (sat).

[ 1 new message! ] : you’re paying for the next meal dumbass.

scaramouche to you was a lot of things. perhaps the first and most notable one of them all was that he was an impressively pompous asshole.

and you suppose he’s always been like that. the same bitchy bully you’ve regretfully crossed paths with during the fourth grade.

the strangest part is, you’ve never actually done anything to piss the boy off. or at least, none you could still vividly remember. but you were certain that you weren’t too shitty as a kid, and your first interaction with scaramouche wasn’t even close to offensive.

it happened on the elementary playground, when you first caught sight of the little boy eagerly chasing after his friends, before suddenly tripping over a rock and diving straight into the ground. you remember the degrading echoes of his friends’ laughter, how you worriedly walked over to him and asked if he was okay. how you stretched your hand out to the kid on the ground, and how he stared at you with an unreadable gaze. and before you even knew it, past that singular moment, every single day of 4th grade became absolute war.

could anyone blame you for simply being courteous? he had terribly shitty friends and you only wanted to help…which yes, unexpectedly backfired with irreparable consequences. how were you to know in that second that something horrible would happen?

maybe you should never have approached scaramouche that day. or maybe you also would’ve regretted never helping him out.

either way, the thought has always plagued the back of your mind, and you wonder if your life would have changed so drastically had you made a different choice in that playground.

even until today, he still somehow manages to wander into your life oh so effortlessly. in the hallways, ramming into your shoulder without sparing a mere glance or an apology. in the middle of class, absently toying with your free locks of hair while you grumble several coherent insults towards the boy. during gratitude day, him stealing your white blouse scribbled in your friends’ messages and writing some of his own unwanted words on it. in the art room, cornering you with that devilish smirk and a finger against his lips as he warns you not to make a single sound, while the hall monitor angrily screeches his name around the deserted corridors…most likely intending to throw him in detention.

even at the comfort of your own home — he’s the neighbor who (unfortunately) moved around the same time as you did, except he lives in the spacious flat two floors below.

and it infuriates you to the ends of the earth. how he’s always been there. how he somehow still is.

when you aced a major test, he was there with an irritated scoff, reminding you not to get too full of yourself. when he saw how you started to fall for kazuha in the early years, he was there to poke fun of you for wanting a “nice” guy, because nice was just an equivalent for boring. when he saw you standing outside your house beneath the rain — soaked, shivering, and frustrated after a big argument with your parents — he shoved an umbrella in your face and told you how you looked absolutely horrendous.

he’s seen too much of you, both in your happiest and at your worst. not even others like kazuha or close family friends have witnessed or known such dark parts of you. why did it have to be him? this boy who has been constantly tormenting you for several years of your life?

even as you surround yourself with better people, you still think about the insolent asshole roaming around the hallways. still overly conscious about his presence whenever you’re in the same room (more than you would have wanted). still thinking about his umbrella in the rain.

and perhaps that was the most perplexing thing which unknowingly drew you to scaramouche. that you never really knew which side of him you were going to get everyday.

one moment he’s explicitly arguing with you in the middle of plain daylight (which unfortunately, later lands you both in detention) — then all of a sudden, you’re riding a bus at midnight to your apartment alone, and he’s the person coincidentally seated next to you, flinching at your snot as he hurriedly juts a handkerchief towards your teary face.

he’s always headed towards the apartment at the same time you exit the bus coming from the university. and although you two constantly bicker and fight along the way back to the building, he was there to accompany you on the lonely walk home.

he pokes fun about your painfully obvious crush on your best friend, but tones it down on the sunday he sees you with puffy red eyes after confessing and attempting to convince yourself you didn’t care if he didn’t want you back.

even more so when you’re unwillingly forced to share a table with him inside a popular and crowded restaurant during lunch — him insulting you for the way you scarf down your food like a pig, and yet his hand subconsciously reaches out to wipe the sauce smudge on the corner of your lips before casually licking it off his thumb.

you’re staring at him in confusion, grateful yet weirded out at the…generous gesture. but all he does is scoff disapprovingly at your face, because there’s no masking the strange red flush that creeps up your cheeks from the uncharacteristic tension and his sudden physical contact.

and for the first time in the years you’ve known him, you’ve only made yourself presently aware of the reddish tint that sets the tips of his ears aglow.

what you’ll never actually realize is how much effort he’s been constantly making to conceal that singularly instinctive (and frankly, repulsive) action that reminds him of how vulnerable you’ve always made him feel — ever since you gave him your hand back in fourth grade.

it would’ve helped him a lot more if he had never noticed you prior to that. how nice you were to the other kids and teachers. how adorable you looked in those neat pigtails. how you had unknowingly charmed every single person into the palm of your hand, and how you were still so infuriatingly enchanting and oblivious at the effect you had on others…even until today.

he hated feeling vulnerable more than anything else in the world, knowing that he was also one of those idiots helplessly wrapped around your finger. just that unlike the rest of them, he’d never actually stoop down so low with his pride to say it out loud.

and he hated that everyday, you were always making it all the more easier for him to admit it to himself. to scream out to the world that scaramouche hated how much he has somehow, foolishly, and quite impossibly, always been in love with you.

organization hottie (ayato)

✉ 5:23 pm, april 9th (sat).

[ 1 new message! ] : see you on monday.

you tried not to squeal too loudly when you suddenly received the text message. but albedo could see the way you tightly pressed your lips together to stifle back a wide whooping grin.

and why wouldn’t you be thrilled? you had just gotten accepted into your university’s official charity organization! it was certainly the perfect opportunity to expose yourself to more learning experiences and activities past the fields of academics.

obviously, it wasn’t like a super attractive person was currently heading the committee and had just sent you a text saying you got accepted a couple minutes ago…

or…okay.

so maybe there’s a bit of an influence. i mean, was it that bad to find a guy who devotes his time for others insanely charming?

of course, it wasn’t anything serious like the way you felt for kazuha. it was more of a happy crush, if you would call it — someone you have a slight romantic admiration for, but don’t exactly harbor any deep feelings towards them.

admittedly, you had naturally considered the prospect of finding yourself with nothing to do over the course of summer, and you figured applying in the organization wouldn’t do much harm for you anyway…even though you had some reservations about the final decision to sign up for it.

and then, you heard about how ayato was recently elected to oversee the committee activities for the following year. thus, the rest was simply history.

the next week, you’re swamped with exchanging introductions among several new members and almost immediately busying yourself with the upcoming project meeting.

oddly enough, you’ve been assigned in the same team as ayato for your first project. and although you began on a rather rough and awkward start together, he guides you through the transitioning process until you’ve learned at least enough things to handle some separate tasks independently.

you’ve always assumed ayato was an overly formal and aloof person to approach compared to the others — however on the contrary, you were pleasantly surprised to discover that he also beheld a mischievous side conflicting his own outer demeanor.

there were days when even he would occasionally reach out to talk about things past organization-related matters. simple questions such as asking about some input on a certain movie, if you had completed this previously given assignment, or merely checking how your day was going.

and maybe it was just strange for you to suddenly realize how human ayato feels.

sure, he was often distant and burdened under plenty of responsibilities. you’ve heard your fair share of rumors and how he was always seemingly placed on a pedestal above all — perhaps you’d almost forgotten that at the end of the day, he was still just trying to get his own shit together, like everybody else.

he was precisely nothing short of a normal guy. the kind who pokes good fun around and plays chess on breaks. the kind who still asks if you want to accompany him to springtime festivals. the kind who smiles at you when he sees you standing across the hallway. the kind who elbows you subtly when you’ve dozed out in the middle of somebody’s monologue. the kind who feels like you‘re somehow beginning to know him better than you know yourself.

and ayato thinks you’re the kind he wondered what would happen had he met you all those years ago instead. if he had an opportunity to know you better before, than he did today. if he would have liked you any sooner, or always just a little later.

maybe it’s true that ayato could work hard to be a lot of things. after all, he couldn’t have become half the man he was today if he hadn’t convinced himself to put in more effort than anybody else.

but maybe there were also some things ayato could just never bring himself to have, no matter how hard he tried. maybe there were always meant to be some moments and people he wasn’t possibly cut out for.

and maybe he could try all he wanted, but he could never really work hard enough to ever make you notice his own lonesome heart — always patiently waiting.

BONUS CONTACT ! — a short side story.

radio boy (thoma)

✉ 3:07 pm, april 5th (tues).

[ 1 new message! ] : hey y/n! do you mind stopping by the broadcasting room for a bit?

although thoma has always been well-favored among people of all ages, he feels that there’s nobody else he’d rather spend his company with than you.

it’s not that he’s wanted you for ill intentions or in a romantic perspective. just that you were his favorite person who was so invariably easy to talk to.

you first met thoma inside the broadcasting room, randomly paying a visit out of curiosity to ask the title of a particular song played during the morning break. and then the following day, you came back to ask on behalf of your friend about another song.

before either of you knew it, you were making regular yet brief appearances to the little recording area — not just to ask about songs, but also to initiate small talk about how the other’s day was going. it was later on you discovered that thoma was a student from another class in the same university who volunteered to work for the campus radio station.

on most days, you’d bring him pastries or coffee to satiate his empty stomach, since thoma preferred to spend most of his free time in the broadcasting room. sometimes, he’d also be generous enough to let you borrow some of his cd’s or flash-drives of music playlists that he thinks would suit your taste.

during periods when you were too busy to pay a visit, you’d send him a quick text apologizing in advance. but not even five minutes later, a familiar song would suddenly blast through the classroom speakers in response, and you couldn’t do anything to hide the contented smile from quirking across your face.

when thoma begins to fall in love with you, he finds himself secretly dedicating certain songs to you on the campus radio — either playing tracks he knows you love, or music that he thinks reminds him of you.

of course, you’re not really sure when the boy behind the radio started liking somebody. just that all of a sudden on an average weekday, you belatedly noticed how his choice of tunes changed, and never became the same as before.

and every time you’ll teasingly question thoma about his arbitrary selection of songs in hopes of prying him for a name drop, all he does is shrug with a quiet smile — saying that you, out of all people, should know her all too well.

summary: your most prized possession was childe’s red scarf that he’d given to you before he left. a simple item really but it brought you so much solace and comfort while he was gone, easing your heart and worries until he came back. that was, until you lost it.

a/n: hello i am not okay after all the harbingers were just dropped onto us like that like i need a moment or two. but that being said, i kept seeing childe in his red scarf and oh my god i love how it looks on him? the big ass coat? the scarf? he looks so nice and i want it as a skin in-game.

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