I Got The Sad Gay One :(

I got the sad gay one :(

Hey Episode WHAT THE FUCK

oh, you’re into free use? is it because it lets someone else take over the responsibility of deciding when you’ve contributed enough worth so you don’t have to worry about whether or not you’re giving enough because someone else will just take it from you as they see fit?

clothing and passing: a guide

wanna look more masc or fem? this is the guide for you.

find out how to pass better, or just tips for looking better in the style you like!

my suggestions for looking more masc are:

. makeup guides! you can find lots of these online, and you can find ones that help you look more masculine in face shape and facial features. adding facial hair and piercings to the mix are optional, but are sometimes a really cute extra detail!

. if you're trying to look masc as someone who's AFAB, binders can be nice. it's possible to find cheap binders online, or look into organizations around you that donate them. you can also buy trans tape, which is basically like binding with tape. DO NOT BIND WITH TAPE/BANDAGES THAT AREN'T MADE SPECIFICALLY FOR BINDING. it can be very dangerous and damaging to your body. remember to take your binder off after a while, and make sure you get the right size!

. baggier shirts. this includes blouses, tank tops, sweaters, hoodies, jumpers, crewnecks, etc. baggyness helps with a masculine kind of look, and makes your chest look less large.

. I don't recommend skinny jeans/pants, because usually they accentuate curves in the body. instead, some of my favourites is cargo pants!

. masculine hair cuts don't have to be short! there are mullets, wolfcuts, and different kinds of masc hair cuts. if you like your hair how it is, though, and don't want to cut it, you can always just tie it in a ponytail/bun and hide it up in a tuque! 

wanna look feminine?

I've got you, bud.

. same for if you're trying to look more masc: there are lots of makeup tutorials online to make your face look more feminine. that can be in facial shape, or just some cute makeup looks that scream feminine.

. stuffing your shirt! buying bras with extra bra padding, and even sometimes socks will help your chest look larger.

. maxi skirts! they don't show too much skin and are nice and flowy, and honestly a quite gender neutral article of clothing. you can style them with belts and chains, and there are lots of difrrent styles and colours.

. cardigans, bracelets, necklaces, and any cute accessory! they always help and make your outfit more interesting.

. fem hair cuts can look like anything! that includes short, long, or a medium length. sometimes small braids help, and accesories like clips, twisting your hair, adding colours or streaks, and sometimes even beads and more!

I hope this helped and that you enjoyed it!

I think one of the reasons I'm more on the dominant side, despite clearly leaning towards being more submissive, is the fact I've been hurt too much in my life.

I want to be weak and vulnerable to someone, but I've had to put walls up, reinforce them. And I got kind of good at shouldering stuff. My own burdens, and others, and solving them. To the point I find myself saying "don't worry, I'll take care of it" when someone is struggling. It's not out of a desire to be helpful, to take away someones troubles. It's that for some reason, if you're in my vicinity, I've unconsciously decided no one else can suffer but me. People have taken advantage of that, and it's only reinforced the notion. No matter the problem: I can take it. I've failed before, but now I know how to recover from it. To work any failure into a success.

Friends and family see that, and they rely on me. I can handle what they can't.

Anxiety at seeing strangers at the door? Don't worry. Go hide. I got it. It doesn't matter that I hate my body, my voice, and I don't want to be seen or heard because I was just starting transition. Only one persons life has to suck, it might as well be mine. I'm used to it. Go be relieved, go be happy.

Phone call from the parents that hate me that you don't want to answer? Yeah, I'll answer it. I'll say you're busy. Go be happy. I'll take care of it.

Talking to a store worker because you can't find the item is too scary? Yeah, I got it. No worries. Let me do the talking in a voice I hate.

Object too awkward or heavy to carry? No worries, I got it. I'll be strong.

Restaurant messed up your order? I'll talk to them. I'll be extroverted.

I don't want to, but if it's between me and you, I'll choose me to make someone else smile. I get called strong, capable ... but if I'm not it feels like the world would break. And at this point, I can't break the habit.

I'm not "the dominant one" because I like it. The switch is just broken and it's stuck on and I'm too scared to fix it. Sometimes I entertain the idea, but when it comes time to act ... I'm too scared to let go. To used to no one being there to catch me. I'll always end up stepping up. I'm sorry. It's how I was trained. It's not nature, I've just survived worse.

no cishets at pride! *spin kicks a grandma with a “I love my gay son” tshirt*