I Think One Of The Reasons I'm More On The Dominant Side, Despite Clearly Leaning Towards Being More

I think one of the reasons I'm more on the dominant side, despite clearly leaning towards being more submissive, is the fact I've been hurt too much in my life.

I want to be weak and vulnerable to someone, but I've had to put walls up, reinforce them. And I got kind of good at shouldering stuff. My own burdens, and others, and solving them. To the point I find myself saying "don't worry, I'll take care of it" when someone is struggling. It's not out of a desire to be helpful, to take away someones troubles. It's that for some reason, if you're in my vicinity, I've unconsciously decided no one else can suffer but me. People have taken advantage of that, and it's only reinforced the notion. No matter the problem: I can take it. I've failed before, but now I know how to recover from it. To work any failure into a success.

Friends and family see that, and they rely on me. I can handle what they can't.

Anxiety at seeing strangers at the door? Don't worry. Go hide. I got it. It doesn't matter that I hate my body, my voice, and I don't want to be seen or heard because I was just starting transition. Only one persons life has to suck, it might as well be mine. I'm used to it. Go be relieved, go be happy.

Phone call from the parents that hate me that you don't want to answer? Yeah, I'll answer it. I'll say you're busy. Go be happy. I'll take care of it.

Talking to a store worker because you can't find the item is too scary? Yeah, I got it. No worries. Let me do the talking in a voice I hate.

Object too awkward or heavy to carry? No worries, I got it. I'll be strong.

Restaurant messed up your order? I'll talk to them. I'll be extroverted.

I don't want to, but if it's between me and you, I'll choose me to make someone else smile. I get called strong, capable ... but if I'm not it feels like the world would break. And at this point, I can't break the habit.

I'm not "the dominant one" because I like it. The switch is just broken and it's stuck on and I'm too scared to fix it. Sometimes I entertain the idea, but when it comes time to act ... I'm too scared to let go. To used to no one being there to catch me. I'll always end up stepping up. I'm sorry. It's how I was trained. It's not nature, I've just survived worse.

Found this and I swear there's no image better fitted to describe my drinking experience

How To Create an Altmer Full Name

There's an ESO quest where you need to discover the full name of an Altmer NPC so an orc can challenge him to a duel. The guy's name turns out to be

Lirendel Rumilion 'len Inecil Culanarin Salolinwe 'ata Piryaden-Itelnoril Hilnore Firlamil 'cal Ternerben-Nivulirel

Putting terror into everyone with an Altmer OC from Summerset. Most people don't even try to make a full Altmer name.

So I'd like to share an easy formula Syllisjehane developed for making your own Altmer full name. She thinks it runs

(Given Name) 'len (mother grandfather grandmother) 'ata (father grandfather grandmother), 'cal (family surname)

as that quest details:

Prior to the duel, both parties must recite their adversary's full name—taking care to call upon matrilineal, patrilineal, and clan honorifics where appropriate.

Canonically, "ata" means father and 'calan' means clan. "Lenya" probably means mother. (It's from a fan-made lexicon, but ESO seems to be referring to it here with the abbreviation 'len.) An example of how this works in practice. Here is the family tree I created for Elenwen in my stories.

She belongs to the Kinship of Shimmerene, for which I made up a clan name, Alatasele. (Hall of Light).

Therefore, Elenwen's full name is Elenwen 'len Ilantuwe Ceryintar Karinith 'ata Morandur Teliantar Estendil cal' Alatasele.

The drawback to this process is you need to come up with at least eight separate names to name one Altmer, but it can be a lot of fun to whip this out on occasion.

Hey Episode WHAT THE FUCK

Jesus H. Christ that's good!

I haven’t done realism in at least 5 months ugh

Reblogs appreciated lmao

CONTROVERSIAL OPINION ABOUT BISEXUALITY

that purple in the middle is not the right saturation, it doesn't fit with the other two colors and it drives me crazy.