Tilly: Five Little Monkeys Jumping On The Bed. One Fell Off And

Tilly: Five little monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and…

Micheal, as she walks past: Was diagnosed with mesothelioma.

Tilly: ...Mamma called the doctor and the doctor said…

Paul, not looking up: You might be entitled to financial compensation if he or a loved one dies.

Pike: I have no respect for Santa. Don’t sneak in through the chimney and undermine my authority by bringing my crew presents. Walk in through the front door and fight me like a man.

Star Trek Discovery characters as shit my teachers have said to me during exam prep

(If you can correctly guess the subjects of the teachers you win...something)

Georgiou: "I think for excellence you need more slurs"

Micheal: "I want to see the light leave your eyes"

Saru: "Listen, if you're going to invade rome, do it next period."

Pike: "You'd better start writing with that pen or I'll stick it where the sun don't shine-"

Paul: "Yeah, children are STDs. But do you know what else are? Werewolves."

Hugh: Okay so as you may have heard, Aidra is non binary.

Hugh: And if anyone fails to accept this fact

Hugh: I am going to identify as a Threat :)

*on leave*

Grey: Paul, where are you?

Paul: On my way home from the store, why?

Grey: You took me to the store with you.

Paul:

Paul: Shit.

serious question, tommy definitely says “make love” right? like he fucks, 100%. but he also makes love, you know?