Every Time I See A Bruce Wayne Interview I Die. This Man Is Hilarious And Also Probably What Made Half

Every time I see a Bruce Wayne interview I die. This man is hilarious and also probably what made half the rogues in Arkham decide to go on killing sprees

Brucie : last time I heard from her she was spending her holidays with her Aunt Artica

Interviewer : Antarctica is not a person . It's a continent

Brucie : like ketchup and mustard?

Shout out to that time Bruce Wayne randomly sent $5000 to every Gothamite because, if I'm remembering correctly, he saw a child without shoes and got sad. I still remember my girlfriend at the time just openly sobbing because she could finally move out of her horrible apartment and get a better job without having to worry about going hungry. I don't know how he got it to all the unhoused folks we've got (Noah, my current neighbor and unhoused at the time, says Batgirl just threw it in his lap and left), or where he scraped up (does the math) 360 MILLION DOLLARS but he's done more good in the last three months than Lex Luthor will ever do in his god-forsaken life.

Bruce Wayne isn’t just Batman’s sugar daddy, he’s Gotham’s sugar daddy

Update: 2 people ate her appropriately named “Green Goblin Salad,” and yes, they are currently hospitalized. Everyone else had a great time though!

Getting moved to the main office has been so great, we’re doing an actual POTLUCK??? Like was I told not to touch Janette’s weird green “salad” because last time it made a few people start to grow leaves and speak backwards? Possibly. But everything else looks great and is PROBABLY safe!

It’s one of the Wayne boys’ birthdays. Happy birthday kid who pretends to drink coffee

Gothamite driving in Metropolis sees a superman fight and just floors the gas, slamming into the villain of the day.

Their Metropolian friend holding on for dear life screaming.

Cop: So do you want to walk me through your thought process of why you decided crashing a 2006 sedan into a 12 ft tall alien parasite was a good idea?

Drive: I dunno what to tell you. It works on Bane. And sometimes Killer Croc. Last week I hit Joker! Proudest day of my life! I am so dead the next time he escapes.......

Cop: .........What?

Passenger: So sorry officer. They're from Gotham.

I mean I feel like yes, but only because I overheard Red Hood yell that he hates poor people the other night, and I mean he definitely prefers beating up goons to actually helping people

Tell me why my child just asked if ACAB includes Batman.