Onlyingotham - Tumblr Posts

If you ever hear glass break, go home. Do not investigate. Do not continue what you were doing.

It was most likely a vigilante or criminal getting thrown through a window.

okay people what are the 'surviving gotham' 101 strategies??

I've barely survived my first weekend here

You done fucked up

I SAID 'THANKS DAD' TO BRUCE ON ACCIDENT AND NOW HE'S TYPING FURIOUSLY ON HIS PHONE

YOU GUYS

HELP ME

WHAT DID I DO????

I DON'T EVEN HAVE THE PROPER REQUIREMENTS

MY HAIR IS Y E L L O W

I HAVE BROWN EYES

NONE OF THIS MAKES ANY SENSE

HELP ME

Great, another thing to keep me awake at night...

Is anyone else concerned that this particular Tumblr Blog seems so be connected to several different dimensions? Is this an #onlyingotham thing, or is /all of Tumblr/ secretly a single entity in all dimensions?

Getting a PHD literally anywhere else: Wow! Congratulations! What a great achievement! Amazing!

Getting a PHD in Gotham: Wow! Amazing! You're now on several Government, Civilian, and Bat watchlists.

So if any of the Wayne kids get a PHD, then the entirety of Gotham would be squinting at them suspiciously. They're rich, so resources, and most likely already insane with all the shit they pull.

What I'm saying is if Jason went and got himself a Doctorate in Literature, the whole city would anticipate the appearance of his villainsona called the Dead Poet(emphasis on the dead) or Bookkeeper or something else similarly nerdy and themed like that for sure.

I just know that it would turn into some Gotham inside joke with memes abound, and everytime Jason would, I don't know, give more funding to the neglected Arts Departments in Gotham University, or go to a school for read alongs to encourage kids to read, Gotham social media would go crazy and be like:

"The Dreaded Villain Dead Poet Reads Alice in Wonderland to Children! How Despicable!"

"Villain Dead Poet Lambasts Government on Banning Books! Leads Librarians to Riot!"

"Dead Poet Ramps up his Villainy by Establishing Educational Programmes in Crime Alley! Uplifting the Poor! What a Dastardly Villain!"

"Dead Poet Goes on Live Ranting About his Favourite Books! Favourite Author is Jane Austen! Is this the Feminist Agenda?"

And so on! It's a meme that refuses to go away. His siblings actively participate, and make the situation worse.

Dick held an online Gotham Villains and Anti-Heroes Poll and Dead Poet came out on top, over Red Hood. Jason is an actual Gotham crime boss, but his crowdfunded villainsona is more popular. No he's not salty about it at all.

Duke would create a montage of Dead Poet sightings.

Stephanie would make a Dead Poet meme compilation.

Tim would arrange Wayne Enterprises to donate to local libraries after allegedly being threatened by the heinous villain Dead Poet. (Jason did ask Tim to do that but not like that)

Barbara created an extremely popular Villain Watch account for Dead Poet.

Cass tweeted out Jason's favourite books as the villain Dead Poets reading list telling people to avoid them 'wink wonk', causing a massive uptick in the sale of those books ala Bigolas Dickolas.

Damian of all people tweeted out a pic of Jason playing with Alfred the cat accusing the evil villain Dead Poet of attempting to kidnap his cat.

And thats not to mention all the shenanigans they pull in their batsonas.

God bless Gotham and it's home grown, organic, not even remotely ethically sourced, free range chaos.

One night all the comms go out for one reason or another. But the bats need to be able to coordinate with each other so they pair up in groups of two and communicate through Twitter.

The next morning #onlyingotham is trending because “#onlyingotham do your super scary shadow traveling night time vigilante’s communicate through tweets on a very public social media app.”

There’s another tweet captioned “What in the fresh fuck does this mean.” Below is screenshot of from black bat that is a series of indecipherable emotes, but based on the number of “copy” and “Roger Roger.” In the replies the bats knew exactly what she meant.

hc that outside Gotham Bruce Wayne is a stony businessman that has a tough and scary exterior while in gotham #whatwillbruciedonext? is a real and constantly trending tag. if he gets interviewed by people from outside gotham he's Mr. Wayne, a CEO with an iron fist and a unshakable façade while in Gotham he's Brucie Wayne who once fought a revolving door and lost.

anyways after that we finished making fajitas and packed Hood a tupperware for the rest of the Batfam :)

Spoiler watching the rogues practice smiling without looking evil:

Spoiler: What the shit?

Oracle: What is it? You need back up?

Spoiler, weirded out: I might need therapy?

Gothamite driving in Metropolis sees a superman fight and just floors the gas, slamming into the villain of the day.

Their Metropolian friend holding on for dear life screaming.

Cop: So do you want to walk me through your thought process of why you decided crashing a 2006 sedan into a 12 ft tall alien parasite was a good idea?

Drive: I dunno what to tell you. It works on Bane. And sometimes Killer Croc. Last week I hit Joker! Proudest day of my life! I am so dead the next time he escapes.......

Cop: .........What?

Passenger: So sorry officer. They're from Gotham.

Shout out to that time Bruce Wayne randomly sent $5000 to every Gothamite because, if I'm remembering correctly, he saw a child without shoes and got sad. I still remember my girlfriend at the time just openly sobbing because she could finally move out of her horrible apartment and get a better job without having to worry about going hungry. I don't know how he got it to all the unhoused folks we've got (Noah, my current neighbor and unhoused at the time, says Batgirl just threw it in his lap and left), or where he scraped up (does the math) 360 MILLION DOLLARS but he's done more good in the last three months than Lex Luthor will ever do in his god-forsaken life.

Bruce Wayne isn’t just Batman’s sugar daddy, he’s Gotham’s sugar daddy

Love and War (but mostly war): Part 1

Paring: damian wayne x batgirl!reader (batgirl for now)

Summary: Being the partner of Damian Wayne comes with its own difficulties. Especially when you’re both hot tempered teenagers who don’t know how to talk to your crush.

Warnings: Mentions of blood and mild swearing

A/n: Ok so this is actually a rewrite of an older fic under the same name. I really liked this prompt but i thought i could do a lot better so i decided to try. this new revised version is going to be multiple parts, enemies to lovers, slight slow burn, with a side of fluff and extra helping of angst. hopfullly this one is even better then the last one. also the support divider was made by @maysdigitalarts ;)

Word count: 1.5k i’m pretty sure

Part 1/?: next part- coming soon (i swear)

Also in desperate need of requests:) info on that here

Being a superhero can be difficult. It can be even more difficult when your partner is an absolute dick. So for you being a superhero was very difficult.

You didn’t choose to be partners with Robin but as the newest Batgirl you found it came with the job. It turns out Robin was just as unhappy with this predicament as you were.

You tried to be friends with him at first, but after about 2 weeks you realized you weren’t getting anywhere and gave up. After you had proved your skills to Damian he stopped complaining about being partnered with you on patrol but he didn’t stop criticizing your every move. His comments led to more than one petty argument.

He was an asshole to you whenever he got the chance but somehow your over romantic heart decided the shit eating grin that he wore whenever he beat you at sparring was very attractive. You couldn’t help but think he secretly wasn’t so mean. Once when you got hurt on the field and he had to bandage you up before taking you back to the cave, he seemed worried and it was almost like he cared about your well being.

You remembered taking on 3 thugs and how the last one pulled a knife out of nowhere. He thrust it towards you before you could react and it sliced across your forearm. You knocked him out with a swift kick and turned to see how your partner was doing, almost forgetting about the cut. It wasn’t a terrible wound but the blood made it look a lot worse than it was.

Damian punched the last man, successfully knocking him out before looking over at you. You heard sirens in the distance and he motioned for you to follow him to the roof. You remembered the climb being painful but you didn’t want him to lecture you about being weak so you sucked it up and kept climbing.

When you had reached the roof he was already listening to the police scanner, looking for your next hit. You had walked over to him and sat on the ledge with your back facing the street. You examined the cut and tried not to make any noise. That’s when Damian looked up and saw your blood covered arm. You were surprised at how quickly he rushed to your side and pulled out a bat-aid kit.

“When did this happen? Why didn’t you tell me you were hurt? How deep is it?” He had bombarded you with questions while wiping off some of the blood.

“I’m fine, it’s nothing. Just a scratch.” You smiled unconvincingly and winced when his gloved hand passed over a particularly painful spot.

“Don’t lie to me. I can tell when you are.” He didn’t look up at you or stop but he was more gentle after that.

“Oh? What’s this? Could it be the one and only Robin is worried, about me?” You had exaggerated shock in your voice.

“TT of course not,” He replied stiffly, finally glaring up at you. “I’d just prefer it if my partner didn’t pass out from blood loss.” You remembered the pain of the cleaning alcohol on the fresh wound. You had hissed slightly at the feeling but sucked in your breath to avoid any further embarrassment. “There, you’ll live but from now you don't hide things from me. Got it?”

That was almost 2 weeks ago but the memory was still clear in your mind. Ever since then you noticed Damian checking on you more often. For a short time you thought this was finally the beginning of a possible friendship but eventually brushed it off as him thinking you were weak or something like that. It seemed a bit more on brand after all.

Today had been pretty shitty to begin with so patrol was pretty much a guaranteed nightmare. Your bus was late so you didn’t get home on time and then you had a mountain of homework to do. Studying had been pushed to the back burner ever since you had started officially working with Batman so you had fallen a bit behind on schoolwork and it was all catching up to you.

Damian had some intel about a drug deal so you both decided to have a mini stakeout and see who showed up. He told you to be there by 10 but you lost track of time and didn’t end up arriving until well after 10:30. This provoked a very boring lecture about time management that you were definitely not in the mood for.

The drug deal went down as expected and you and Damian jumped in to round up the bad guys. It was going fine until one of them slipped past you and managed to escape.

“Damnit!” You exclaimed as the back door swung shut. “I’ll get him!”

“No, don't!” Damian yelled after you but you didn’t listen. You heard him curse and something that sounded like a batarang hitting a wall before the noises blended together and eventually faded.

The man was fast and you were about a block away from the fight when you finally caught up to him. “Gotcha now, asshole.” You smirked as he was backed into an alleyway with no way out. He smirked back and knocked on the door next to him. 11 more thugs emerged and you realized just how bad you had messed up. “Oh you’ve got to be shitting me.” You muttered under your breath while backing up ever so slightly.

One of the men spoke up. “Aw what’s the matter little girl? Don’t tell me you’re scared.” He laughed and others joined him. You let him take a few more steps so he was within your range before grabbing a batarang from your belt and throwing it at him.

He was caught by surprise and had to swerve to avoid the sharp tool. This was exactly the reaction you’d hoped for and gave you time to lunge and land a solid hit to his stomach. He fell back into two of the thugs with a grunt. A man a bit more to your left shouted some profanities at you before charging. You dodged and he ran right into a dumpster, effectively knocking him out.

“2 down, 10 more to go. So who’s next?” You said boldly, despite the odds being very much not in your favor. 3 men launched at you from different angles and you dodged but the move forced you deeper into the alley so there were now 4 men in between you and the exit. “Well shit.” That’s when your knight in shining armor showed up to save the day.

“Well shit times 2,” You muttered.

Damian hit harder than normal and you knew it was because you’d run off without him. Usually he’d wait until you got back to the cave to lecture you but today he didn’t seem as patient. “I told you!” Punch. “Not to!” Dodge. “Chase him!” Kick.

“This might come as a shock,” You grabbed an old book from the trash and threw it at someone. “But I don’t take orders from you.”

“You don’t take orders from anyone apparently.” He sounded angry. Really angry. He started ranting something in a language you didn't quite understand but you had a pretty good guess as to what he was saying.

It took about 10 minutes to knock out the rest of the men and tie them to a street lamp. You had alerted the police and could hear sirens in the distance which meant it was time to go. You turned around and saw Damian was already climbing to the rooftop.

“Where are we going now?” You asked once you’d reached the rooftop as well. You were hoping to brawl with a few more thugs before the night was over. Fighting always helped you relieve stress and right now you have a lot of stress to relieve.

“We’re going to the cave.” He replied simply walking fast and not stopping to let you catch up.

“What? Already? It’s only like midnight. I’m sure there’s some more douche bags that need to be caught.” You knew he was mad at you but cutting a patrol short? He’d only ever done that once or twice in extreme situations. He didn’t respond but instead jumped down off the roof into an alleyway where his motorcycle was waiting. You assumed he’d called it there while he was walking.

“Go back to the cave. I’ll meet you there.” He finally spoke, before speeding off and leaving you alone.

You watched his silhouette disappear down the street and let out a loud groan. “Great, now I get chewed out for trying to stop the bad guy,” You grumbled. “This is definitely not what I wanted to do tonight.” You called your motorcycle to you and it showed up a minute later. You hoped on and headed to the cave, already trying to think up good arguments for the conversation that you knew was coming.

Once you pulled into the cave you parked your bike. You saw Damian was leaning his back against the medical table and he had his arms crossed over his chest. His mask was off and you could see the anger in his eyes as they watched you hop off your bike. Dick, Jason, and Tim were standing nearby but you didn’t pay them much attention. You walked up to Damian who glared at you but didn’t say anything

You’d done the whole “Silently stare each other down until the other person says something” thing a few times but today you didn’t have the patience to try and wait him out. You took off your mask so that your eyes could met his. “Look, I know you’re a little upset with me-”

“A little upset?” He cut you off, pushing himself off the table and taking a step towards you “I’m pissed!” 3 heads from across the room turned towards the brewing fight. “I specifically told you not to chase him.”

“That’s why you ended the patrol?” You asked in disbelief. “Because I did something you didn’t want me to?”

“You ran off on your own. That’s not ok.” He stepped closer again and you were forced to tilt your head up slightly to maintain his gaze.

“Oh please you run off on your “Lone wolf” bullshit all the time.” You saw the other boys getting up out of the corner of your eye but still didn’t acknowledge them.

“That’s different.” He seethed with anger and you still couldn’t understand why but at this point it didn’t matter to you. You had bottled up almost all your harsh feelings towards him and it was finally spilling over. All the times he’d sneered at you or told you to give up on being a hero were flooding back and fueling the anger in the pit of your stomach.

“Because you’re better than me right? Because you’re the one and only Damian Wayne, son of Batman and the greatest goddamn Robin to walk the earth!” You raised your voice letting sarcasm steer your words. “You’re mad because I don’t take orders from you and your over sized ego can’t handle that.”

“I’m mad because I can’t trust you!” He shot back, raising his voice to match yours. “We’re supposed to be partners but you’re too stubborn and immature to listen to me. This isn’t just about tonight and you know it. I can’t do what needs to be done if I’m too busy trying to make sure you don’t get killed.” There it was again. The ghost of concern buried deep under his tone.

“I can take care of myself just fine. I don’t need you to save me like I'm some damsels in distress.”

“Really? Because I had to save you tonight!” This made you furious. You went to respond but a black and blue gloved hand had already found its way over your mouth. You hadn’t even realized how close you were to Damian until Dick was pushing the two of you apart. And you two had been pretty damn close.

“That’s enough!” Dick exclaimed, sounding very annoyed. “You’re supposed to be a team and instead you two have been at each other’s throats ever since you were paired up.”

“It’s all her fault-” Damian started but was cut off.

“First of all, I'm not done yet. Secondly you’re both to blame,” Dick said pointedly. “We’re all sick of your bickering so if you don’t figure out how to get along we’re taking matters into our own hands.” he nodded at Jason and Tim.

Tim was sitting on the table that Damian had been leaning on when you arrived and he, unsurprisingly, had a cup of coffee in his hand. Jason was standing next to Tim with a look of slight amusement.

“What the hell does that even mean?”

“At best,”Jason spoke up. “we get you couples therapy. At worst, we lock you two in a room and take bets on who kills who.”

“That’s not true,” Dick interrupted again. “We’re not taking any bets,” he corrected.

“You’re not but me and Tim already have a pot going. Alfreds in on it and I'm pretty sure Bruce wants to join too.” Jason looked at you and winked. “My moneys on you sweetheart.”

A/n: and so it begins dun dun duuunnnn anywho if you’d like to be tagged in up coming parts reply here i should be posting updates regularly and i wouldn’t want anyone to miss them :)

Gotham city memes once again

Happy pride month everyone!!!❤️🌈❤️🌈❤️🐈‍⬛

#Only in Gotham

LEGEND:

- @Coffeefiend - Tim

-@PurpleMenace - Steph

-@theFlyingDetective - Dick

-@ZombieTodd - Jason

-@PrincessSol - Adri/Nightingale (OC)

-@TheRealBruceWayne - Bruce

-@Blood_son - Damian

-@TheDuke - Duke

-@Cassi_nova - Cass

-@RedGordon - Babs

________________________

- I was visiting my cousin in Gotham (I’m from Central) and while we were chilling on her balcony one of the Robins dropped in out of nowhere and asked for her coffee and SHE GAVE IT TO HIM! #onlyingotham #thisisnormal?! #whichRobin?

 - My friends and I keep track of how many times Red Hood pushes one of the other bats off a roof. So far he’s gotten Nightwing nine times, Red Robin eight and the one time he tried it on Robin, a cat pounced on him. #onlyingotham #batfam 

 - did anyone else just see Nightwing run by with an enormous bag of cereal? WITH THE MILK MIXED IN THERE?! EWW! #thatsnasty! #onlyingotham 

- Yo, @Coffefiend just came in to the convenience store where I work and bought all the coffee. I mean ALL OF IT, even the instant packs! #onlyingotham #ugoodTim?

 - Ya know when I first saw Damian Wayne tackle Tim Drake on TV, I thought it was just an act (like reality TV stuff) but I’m literally watching them wrestle for who gets to sit in the front while this Butler guy just stands there, watching them #onlyingotham

- How dare you, that Butler guy is Alfred Pennyworth

 - The butler is basically their grampa

   - He keeps them in line because we all know @TheRealBruceWayne himself can’t

- You can call yourself a true Gothamite once you’ve had Nightwing wink at you #onlyingotham #batfam #Nightwingisaflirt

- And if you’ve seen Red Hood toss Nightingale at a villan

  - Don’t forget when you spot Red Robin and Robin fighting on a rooftop

    - I’ve seen Batgirl doing tiktok dances in the park, does that count?

      - Yes but only if Black Bat is doing them with her and Signal is filming

- You know someone’s from Gotham when they stare at every clown as if they expect to be attacked. 👀 #onlyingotham

- I can’t believe there’s a video somewhere on the internet of @StephB and @theFlyingDetective twerking to @PrincessSol playing classical piano. #onlyingotham #theWaynes

- Some of you have never had a vigilante bust through your window, steal your breakfast muffin, and jump back out thru the same window and it shows #OnlyinGotham #imstillmadaboutthemuffin

- Update: Batgirl just dropped off a whole takeout breakfast as an apology, I am satisifed.

- Ya’ll Poison Ivy just stopped in the middle of fighting to revive the plants my mom left out on the window sill and Nightingale LET HER! #OnlyinGotham

- @Cassi_nova and @PrincessSol are the EMBODIMENT of that dog sitting in a burning room sipping coffee. #OnlyinGotham #TheWaynes

- Dick is climbing the shelves, Jason is throwing stuff at him, Tim is cradling an empty coffee cup on the floor and Damian is riding around on that massive Great Dane 

    - Cass and Adri: This is fine

- Okay but @PrincessSol and @ZombieTodd are such awesome people, they just saved me from being mugged in an alley, brought me to their favorite cafe, Adri bought me tea and Jason read us some Shakespeare. #OnlyinGotham would two kids of the richest family in the city do these for some stranger. #TheWaynes #Bruceraisedthemright

- When someone from Gotham tweets “Eat The Rich” they don’t mean the Waynes, neeever the Waynes. Partly because they’re legit awesome, generous   rich people and mostly because they feel sorry for Bruce having to deal with his six (?) kids, those mofos are chaos #OnlyinGotham #The Waynes #GothamlovestheWaynes

- Nightwing just  jumped off my friend’s roof dramatically yelling  “Save me!” and Red Hood just stood there, shaking his head. I think he landed in a dumpster. #OnlyinGotham 

She left out the part where Red Robin just stood there as if he thought about for a second then lay down on the floor while Nightwing kept screaming. “RED ROBIN, NO!” #RRisamood

Alright, gather around kiddies, time for #onlyingotham story time.

This is a story from back when the first Robin started out, fifteen-ish years ago (god I’m old). Of course, we don’t actually know when he began, but this was not too long after people started actually believing that the Bat was trailing a small colourful child behind him and we weren’t just having a very vivid Joker hallucination. Anyway.

One night I’m looking out my window and I spy Batman half-hidden in the shadows talking to a homeless lady. There are a dozen kids and teenagers on the street, a couple look like they belong to the homeless lady, the others are coming and going (drug runners I guess? This was a bad neighbourhood). Back then Batman was still half a myth so I’m ridiculously excited, especially since I can see Robin standing next to him, and glimpses of him were near legend. (He was so cute and tiny by the way!) I guess Bats was taking too long because baby Robin looked really bored, up until the point he suddenly screamed “THE FLOOR IS LAVA!!” and dead-stop flipped six feet into the air to perch onto a streetlight.

And every. single. kid. on that street dropped what they were holding and leapt for the nearest window/car/fire-hydrant/grown-up. It was the purest thing I had ever seen.

But the best part? Batman. BATMAN. Actually sprang up on the ledge of the window beside him. Like he played this all the time with his kid and forgot he was wearing the cowl.

Flash-forward to tonight, where an hour ago I just heard Nightwing scream “THE FLOOR IS LAVA!” and every single member of the Batfam just jumped onto something or someone as they fought on the roof across the street. Red Hood slammed the thug he was fighting to the ground and sat on his shoulders. The newest, tiniest Robin legit launched himself at Bats and clung to his cape like a baby koala. #Nostalgia

Visiting Metropolis and apparently everyone here hides when there’s even a MENTION of danger lmao. Like are you really that afraid of a few cheap looking drones??

I mean I feel like yes, but only because I overheard Red Hood yell that he hates poor people the other night, and I mean he definitely prefers beating up goons to actually helping people

Tell me why my child just asked if ACAB includes Batman.

My favorite thing about working in Gotham is getting promoted and moved to our Crime Alley office just to realize my boss might be running a criminal empire

Friday at the office we had a heater going and everyone was bundled in coats and blankets. I wonder if we’ll have a fan going tomorrow morning since it looks like Mr. Freeze is finally chilling out for the month and letting things thaw out

Anyone know who the rogue of the week is? Cuz my water is coming out green and we aren’t sure if it’s just Gotham Gothaming or if someone fucked with it