Only In Gotham - Tumblr Posts

I just got back from new York so here are some Gotham hcs

- the city of perpetual construction

-the most sleek& modern buildings situated right next to old classic gothic buildings

-lots of historical sites; like 3 museums

-so much graffiti

-the general trend/ style is street wear meets apocalypse-core type beat

-gargoyles

-gas masks are considered part of basic survival

- homeless shelters are very big because people flock to them whenever crisis hits

- there is a hit list for all the rouges (the rewards are crowd funded)

- joker is at the top with a 8 billion dollar reward for the clowns death

-batman knows but can't do anything about it

-Its traditional to leave gifts for the vigilantes

-robin: anything animal related will suffice| signal: gets left many things bc he's new| red Robin: anything with caffeine or merch of the family | red Hood: books/note books. Playbills are accepted as well | spoiler: anything purple or pictures of the bats falling | black bat: dance stuff | night wing: blue glittery things | Batman; cute pictures of his kids| I know I'm forgetting something but but what ever

- bat burger= MacDonalds

Some pics that emulate Gotham on a good day

Not all of these are original ideas but I don't remember where I saw them

I always wonder whether Batfam fans really get just how fucking rich the Waynes are. Like of course we shy away from thinking about the fact that we're talking Musk and Bezos money, and focus on how Bruce funds the freaking Watchtower and has what is functionally a high-tech military base and lab and the world's most expensive vehicles. But this is the one time you don't have to factor in the implications of wealth-hoarding, so there's nothing preventing y'all from understanding exactly how much money we're talking about here.

For instance, there doesn't seem to be any concept of how palatial Wayne Manor is, simply going by the outer facades of it that appear in the comics and movies. Or how decadent the lifestyles that accompany that kind of ancestral home. Alfred couldn't run that place on his own even if he had super powers, which is why even the movies occasionally show a rotating probably-temporary staff in the background. The house probably has like 3 hundred-foot pools. Their garden is a protected heritage park.

The Waynes are 10x richer than Crazy Rich Asians. They buy and wear the jewelry worth hundreds of millions that belonged to royalty. They own private islands. The art in the house alone is worth more than the GDP of a small country. They went to school with like every US President since Teddy Roosevelt and still think the Rockefellers are new money. They're personal friends with Beyonce and can get her to perform at private parties. They can rent out an entire three-star Michelin restaurant and fly out to one for every date. They have top-line penthouse apartments in every major city in the world. They can buy a luxury sportscar instead of hiring a vehicle anywhere they visit and then just toss the keys to the nearest person on their way out (Arab royalty is known for this appearently. There's been some very lucky parking valets in the UAE iirc).

Bruce is as rich as Ra's Al Ghul, regularly make social calls to heads of state and his family has a history of being king-makers. Every one of Bruce's children, from Dick to Jason to Cass, is poised to inherit one of the largest and most powerful fortunes in the world. That means every time Bruce adopts an orphan off god-knows-where, the entire global elite is thrown into consternation and horror. Even Tim is barely acceptable to these people because he doesn't have the pedigree. I don't follow the reboot comics so Idk if Duke is adopted, but it would be so fucking funny if he was because they'd react a lot like the British establishment did to Meghan Markle (except the family and WE would have Duke's back completely). As for Damian, the fact that he's not white would get him snubbed if everyone who's anyone didn't 100% know who Ra's Al Ghul is. And they're fucking terrified because, for maximum hilarity, they probably figure that Bruce doesn't.

I just find it incredibly fucking funny when I'm reading fics that the writers can only imagine Bruce and the kids's civilian privileges extend only to "big house", "a lot of cars" and "Gotham famous". Lol. Lmao even.

gotham is exactly the right amounts of wet and socioeconomically unstable to have spawned an INSANE grunge scene you just know their local shit is like the sonic equivalent of getting hit over the head with a car battery

I firmly believe Gotham has applied for stateship and the government replied in a confused "What do you mean you're part of the US?"

I don't mean "Bruce Wayn is a Superhero" no, they think Bruce Wayne and Batman are mortal enemies.

Gothamites are shocked to hear this and try to explain that "No, they aren't enemies, they're lovers"

I firmly believe Gotham has applied for stateship and the government replied in a confused "What do you mean you're part of the US?"

#Only in Gotham

LEGEND:

- @Coffeefiend - Tim

-@PurpleMenace - Steph

-@theFlyingDetective - Dick

-@ZombieTodd - Jason

-@PrincessSol - Adri/Nightingale (OC)

-@TheRealBruceWayne - Bruce

-@Blood_son - Damian

-@TheDuke - Duke

-@Cassi_nova - Cass

-@RedGordon - Babs

________________________

- I was visiting my cousin in Gotham (I’m from Central) and while we were chilling on her balcony one of the Robins dropped in out of nowhere and asked for her coffee and SHE GAVE IT TO HIM! #onlyingotham #thisisnormal?! #whichRobin?

 - My friends and I keep track of how many times Red Hood pushes one of the other bats off a roof. So far he’s gotten Nightwing nine times, Red Robin eight and the one time he tried it on Robin, a cat pounced on him. #onlyingotham #batfam 

 - did anyone else just see Nightwing run by with an enormous bag of cereal? WITH THE MILK MIXED IN THERE?! EWW! #thatsnasty! #onlyingotham 

- Yo, @Coffefiend just came in to the convenience store where I work and bought all the coffee. I mean ALL OF IT, even the instant packs! #onlyingotham #ugoodTim?

 - Ya know when I first saw Damian Wayne tackle Tim Drake on TV, I thought it was just an act (like reality TV stuff) but I’m literally watching them wrestle for who gets to sit in the front while this Butler guy just stands there, watching them #onlyingotham

- How dare you, that Butler guy is Alfred Pennyworth

 - The butler is basically their grampa

   - He keeps them in line because we all know @TheRealBruceWayne himself can’t

- You can call yourself a true Gothamite once you’ve had Nightwing wink at you #onlyingotham #batfam #Nightwingisaflirt

- And if you’ve seen Red Hood toss Nightingale at a villan

  - Don’t forget when you spot Red Robin and Robin fighting on a rooftop

    - I’ve seen Batgirl doing tiktok dances in the park, does that count?

      - Yes but only if Black Bat is doing them with her and Signal is filming

- You know someone’s from Gotham when they stare at every clown as if they expect to be attacked. 👀 #onlyingotham

- I can’t believe there’s a video somewhere on the internet of @StephB and @theFlyingDetective twerking to @PrincessSol playing classical piano. #onlyingotham #theWaynes

- Some of you have never had a vigilante bust through your window, steal your breakfast muffin, and jump back out thru the same window and it shows #OnlyinGotham #imstillmadaboutthemuffin

- Update: Batgirl just dropped off a whole takeout breakfast as an apology, I am satisifed.

- Ya’ll Poison Ivy just stopped in the middle of fighting to revive the plants my mom left out on the window sill and Nightingale LET HER! #OnlyinGotham

- @Cassi_nova and @PrincessSol are the EMBODIMENT of that dog sitting in a burning room sipping coffee. #OnlyinGotham #TheWaynes

- Dick is climbing the shelves, Jason is throwing stuff at him, Tim is cradling an empty coffee cup on the floor and Damian is riding around on that massive Great Dane 

    - Cass and Adri: This is fine

- Okay but @PrincessSol and @ZombieTodd are such awesome people, they just saved me from being mugged in an alley, brought me to their favorite cafe, Adri bought me tea and Jason read us some Shakespeare. #OnlyinGotham would two kids of the richest family in the city do these for some stranger. #TheWaynes #Bruceraisedthemright

- When someone from Gotham tweets “Eat The Rich” they don’t mean the Waynes, neeever the Waynes. Partly because they’re legit awesome, generous   rich people and mostly because they feel sorry for Bruce having to deal with his six (?) kids, those mofos are chaos #OnlyinGotham #The Waynes #GothamlovestheWaynes

- Nightwing just  jumped off my friend’s roof dramatically yelling  “Save me!” and Red Hood just stood there, shaking his head. I think he landed in a dumpster. #OnlyinGotham 

I feel like there’s a lot of untapped potential with the citizens of Gotham just being completely unbothered by whatever terrible thing is going on in their lives.

Like during a lockdown someone starts jokingly making thirst edits of the local vigilantes running around on the roofs and IMMEDIATELY there’s like a hundred shitty iPhone quality thirst edits circulating social media.

Someone strings together a bunch of clips of Nightwing screaming in frustration, Red Robin face down on the roof of a residential building, and Red Hood slipping on something in an alleyway and eating shit and puts a cover of a really peppy kpop song over it and it goes viral in an hour.

Someone ELSE decides to take a clip of Red Hood literally HUNTING a goon down in an alley (like the goon is literally tripping over their feet and screaming, Red Hood is just walking slowly like a goddamn PREDATOR) and puts “Love Me Like You Do” over it with the caption “how the music makes a difference…” and THAT dominates the news cycle for a week straight.

I'm scrolling through some ambient noises to help me write, and it got me thinking. Y'know those white noise machines people use for sleeping?

Do you think there's a very specific brand marketed at Gothamites?

Like everyone else has rainy nights on the beach, whale song, the crackle of the campfire, and everyone's all-time favorite "rickety fan about to oscillate off your shitty ikea desk at four in the morning."

And then there's "The Sounds of Gotham," a nighttime ambiance made up of heavy thunderstorms interspaced with the wail of police sirens and the occasional smattering of gunfire.

If you upgrade to premium, you can get the added sound effect of "small vigilante child dropping onto your apartment roof followed by the heavy pitter-patter of their combat boots as they dropkick a criminal off the fire escape."

Mm. Cozy.

so BECAUSE THAT ONE BATFAM FIC (YOU KNOW THE ONE) UPDATED I WENT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING AT 12AM AND BECAUSE THIS IS GOTHAM NATURALLY SOMEONE THOUGHT I WAS BEING MURDERED AND CALLED THE POLICE AND WHEN THEY GOT HERE I HAD TO GIVE THEM MY EXPLANATION FOR SCREAMING AT 12AM SO I JUST SAID BATFAM FIC AND ONE OF THE COPS (I SWEAR HE LOOKED LIKE BRUCE WAYNES KID???) EYES SUDDENLY GOT REALLY BIG AND THEN HE SAID "IT UPDATED??!?" AND THEN HE READ THE UPDATE ON HIS PHONE I HAVE A GROWN POLICE MAN SITTING IN MY DRIVEWAY CRYING AND CURSING AT USER JOKERSURVIVOR UNDER HIS BREATH HIS PARTER GAVE HIM A SHOCK BLANKET OH MY GOD

When all you wanted was a coffee but instead you overhear the Wayne brothers being chaotic 😂

Jason: Narrows, you will never understand what a real sunburn feels like

Duke, shrugging: not my fault you’re whiter than stadium lights

Tim: damn

Jason: not helping Timbo

Duke: and the sunscreen is?

Tim: dAyUm

Tell me why my child just asked if ACAB includes Batman.

Visiting Metropolis and apparently everyone here hides when there’s even a MENTION of danger lmao. Like are you really that afraid of a few cheap looking drones??

I mean I feel like yes, but only because I overheard Red Hood yell that he hates poor people the other night, and I mean he definitely prefers beating up goons to actually helping people

Tell me why my child just asked if ACAB includes Batman.

My favorite thing about working in Gotham is getting promoted and moved to our Crime Alley office just to realize my boss might be running a criminal empire

Friday at the office we had a heater going and everyone was bundled in coats and blankets. I wonder if we’ll have a fan going tomorrow morning since it looks like Mr. Freeze is finally chilling out for the month and letting things thaw out

My wife asked my son who his hero is, and this child says “IVY!!” so excitedly. We’re raising him to respect strong women AND the environment. I’m so proud, even if my wife is a little worried 😂💕

Anyone know who the rogue of the week is? Cuz my water is coming out green and we aren’t sure if it’s just Gotham Gothaming or if someone fucked with it