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HOW ARE YOU RUINED? — ruined by trauma.

you cannot get over the past. you are constantly remembering, never forgetting. you cant live in the moment because the moment is not what brought you here. you are birthed, raised, and killed in the past. you will never get over what was done to you, be it big or be it small. you cannot escape what you refuse to confront.

— ruined by fear.

you live on the edge of your seat, but it is not a good thing. you're constantly looking over your shoulder, unsure of what will hurt you next. you have been hurt so much, but you refuse to adapt to your pain. instead, you avoid what you cannot control. you are so afraid of making a mistake, of being brought closer to your doom. but, despite this, you cannot articulate what you fear. you are just afraid. only afraid. and you will be afraid until you are brought to what you fear most.

— ruined by apathy.

you cant bring yourself to care. you hate that you cant feel what you used to be able to feel. you hate that you cant be happy. you hate that you cant bring yourself to actually hate. your apathy has swallowed you and immersed you in a well of nothingness. you cant feel what you cant forget. you cant see what you close your eyes to. you choose to feel nothing, and you have lost everything because of it.

tagged: @autonomousxselves im like 99% sure you tagged me for this and i didnt do it before now ( tho its hard to keep track ) but if i did it before im doing it again w these bitches BHKGTRB and @yukcri for suggesting Takaya and Hidetoshi! None of the results fit Hidetoshi though so I didn't end up including him

tagging: i feel like most people i Could tag have done this so if you haven't, do it! alternatively, if you're wearing red, black or green, do it!

doodle

"Now that's a load of bullshit..." the mutter leaves him as if second nature at the notion of him being the one carrying the team, he wasn't blind, he knew how easy it was to try and be evasive when it came to nasty wounds like these, how looking down the barrel of the gun was sometimes harder than pulling the trigger; not to wriggle out of them took a certain kind of guts even if Shinjiro hadn't been here long enough to see where it started from, but he's smart enough to relent when she notes the condition they both would've been in if not for him looking something like an easy target. Something in him shifts discontented at the notion that he was, however vague it might be, in a nervous pacing kind of way. Something that made him antsy. He knew better than anyone how much abuse he could handle and where his limits lied, but when they thought you were an easy target, the vultures flock, looking for a meal.

He shakes it off, and the daunting brunette relents to an exhale of quiet bone-deep relief ━ nearly humming ━ as the soothing gel is applied, nearly going slack in Yukari's hands like a big dog when you find just the right place to scratch, letting his head bow & his hair curtain his face as he gives in a little easier to her delicate handiwork.

He murmurs a response to the note of infection, albeit less hard edged than before, a "don't remind me..." as he permits himself to yield to her, just for now, pliable in the sore muscle along his wretched arms, a part of him acknowledging distantly how she might be able to feel the old scar tissue from times past depending on how far she ran her hand. ( He's a little thankful, he finds, that the coat and the turtleneck act as pretty good insulation at least as far as his torso was involved, he wouldn't want Yukari to see the remains of a thousand first aid hack-jobs littering his skin, notice the concerning discoloration under-the-skin splotches and the divots along the bones where the skin clings a little tighter than it should, feel the way he'd shiver without the padding even in so much heat... )

But speaking of. ( a contest between what he wants and what would make this easier for the both of them. How rarely he gets the opportunity for something a little more proper, how strongly he wants to hold his cards to his chest, as if he barely even knows her even now, as much of a stranger as she used to be... )

...

" ... if you need me to take off my coat, say something." he grunts as he shifts his weight uncomfortably on the steps he's sat on, hard material pressing into his tailbone, thumbing at the wood of his axe resting next to him as he feels the fabric bunch up further along his bicep. He casts an intimidating look over her shoulder, "Sweater stays on. That's the only rule I got. Whatever else that'd make this easier is fair game. God knows they're gonna need you for the rest of the night, anyway..." can't eat up too much of your precious time. ( not like there was much worth saving left anyway... )

Continued from here. ♥ @quillheel

There would have been a time that Yukari would have been afraid of tending such serious burn wounds, not to mentioned scared of the Hierophant who bore them. Back in the beginning, when she hadn't even been able to summon her Persona without hesitating at the idea of pointing her Evoker at her forehead and pulling the trigger? Oh, she would have insisted that Mitsuru take point on this, made up some excuse to busy herself elsewhere just to avoid the interaction. Over the months of exploring Tartarus and facing powerful foes that could--and had--caused her and the others grievous harm that needed to be treated, though, the Lovers' heart had hardened, courage forming an effective armor that helped her hold fast in the face of such things.

In a way, Yukari had become the best combat medic in their group.

Such meant that she was able to keep her hands steady, her touch light as possible--her attention focused on Shinjiro's burns even though her own injuries ached. A Diarama had been enough to take the edge off so she could function, but she had to keep some of her magic in reserve in case the group that was on the front lines got in over their heads. If it wasn't for that, she would've just opted for a Diarahan to handle the Hierophant's burns and been done with it.

That would've spared him considerable discomfort, if the way he cursed was any indicator.

To her credit, Yukari didn't so much as bat an eyelash at his coarse language, an absent-minded nod her response to his comments about the Mayas. It was honestly a miracle that she hadn't been fried to a crisp, considering her weakness to the Zio skills they utilized. The thought of him holding up his axe as if to act as a lightning rod was what had her looking up to meet his gaze as she finished wrapping a clean bandage around the last of the larger burns on his wrist.

"We both know you're the one that was carrying us, Senpai." A nod affirmed her point as she held his eye contact, refusing to be intimidated into looking away. It seemed that learning how to stand up to Mitsuru's aura of regal authority had its perks. "If you hadn't been drawing the lightnong away from me, then we both would've been a lot worse off. I can't help anyone if I'm electrocuted, y'know."

Retrieving a tube of antibiotic gel from her supplies, Yukari's attention returned to the lesser burns that were still exposed. The Lovers popped it open and set about applying it with a healer's gentle touch, the cooling gel probably offering more than a little relief to the Hierophant. "Besides, if any of these get infected, then you'll be out of action for way more than the rest of the night."