But I Knew How To Dress It Up

but I knew how to dress it up

if she thought about it too hard, too long, she was sure she'd start crying again.

she'd been doing that a lot lately, with too big feelings in a too small body, it'd been something inherent to her long before Gaster's disappearance.

though, Alphys often thought of it in herself like a childish quirk, the equivalent perhaps of a toddler throwing a tantrum ━ however untrue that is, however harsh it might be to her capability ━ when those feelings became too much to contain so easily, rippling out as though intent to fill the cracks and grooves of her scales and the place she'd made home, smooth it out until there was nothing but that heart in her hands.

however, Gaster's return and simultaneous remembrance felt like one of the few instances where it was justified. almost expected.

they'd been calling it his disappearance ; the sentiment present but still the wrong word, she knew, because it implied someone knew it was missing. she wished she did. she wished she did. it wouldn't have mattered what it took, she'd have tried it. maybe that's why its for the better that she hadn't, rather than her being the only one mindfully aware. ━━━ it would've drove her insane more than it wouldn't. the guilt of not knowing doesn't die so easily, though, and neither does the longing to have helped them sooner.

many years of missing them built up into one sudden recollection. she could, and has, likened it to being stabbed.

maybe that's why she tries to avoid the consideration as her claws fiddle with ceramics ━ something she often does not bother with, when the bare-minimum is good enough ━ because it would be too easy to invoke again. maybe thats why the offer was so simple, just getting coffee with him, instead of lingering in the old memories the labs would bring her.

still; this, somehow, still feels indefinitely, undefineably familiar. she is trying not to think about it.

“i- y-yeah! i am too-! i mean- being w-wrong is never a good feeling, but it's.. pretty nice i-i'd think, h-here! with how ━ uh ━ e-everything turned out-!“

her neck twitches ━ a quirk of hers she's had forever, the snap of the jaw jutting forwards in uncontrolled muscle movement ━ as she sets out the cups. the room is cleaner than Alphys almost ever is or was; imperfect, perhaps haphazard, but better. if Gaster was to look closely, it'd notice the heads of wires peeking just barely out of drawers, edges of paper leveraging ever-so-slightly between shelves just into view ━━ one of the cabinets hangs awkwardly on its hinge, broken once, a clean then jagged scar of a slice through the almost-center of the wood, repaired with thick ductape. you could see the indents where her claws began carving at the top layer of the wood or shredding at the tape, depending on which was unfortunate enough to be in her way.

her hands twitch when the coffee-maker plays an off-tune jingle, and she reaches over. only heating water, with an array of teas lined crookedly on the countertop, and an unopened bag of ground coffee which looked expensive.

she couldn't remember which he liked best out of all of them. she'd spent days researching the best coffee she could get her hands on before offering, just in case.

”h-how have you been ━ um ━ b-b-both in general a-and adjusting wise-? w-w-well, i don't know if there's a ━ a lot to adjust to, p-persay? b-b-but━“ she trails off, aimless, unable to resolve the sentence the way she wants to.

"oh-! s-sorry, i should've asked before━ what w-would you prefer-?"

@quillheel asked ; ❛ i never thought i’d see you again . ❜ / to gaster, from alphys !

A wide smile rests on his skull, clearly overjoyed to see her once more. He's been overjoyed to see everyone once again, but Alphys is someone he was looking forwards to seeing most. Much has happened since their last real meeting, and he's more than aware of that fact. He can only hope that doesn't prevent them from resuming the friendship they once had.

"In all honesty, I was of the same mind.. until recently, that is. I am glad to be wrong."

[ rose ] for barkovitch... or stebbins.... or both

[ rose ] for a lovesick memory.

Barkovitch has never been the kind of kid that people got along with. always a little too snide, mistaking pride for honey, a little too rough around the edges, sharp like a dull blade digging into your side in the way there wasn’t the adrenaline of being cut, just the annoying digging in your side. He was like burning rubber ; loud enough to catch your attention, usually obnoxious, and usually made you sick by the smell. You could recognize him anywhere, and when you could avoid him, it was relief, and irritation & a headache when you couldn’t.

But every kid gets lonely, and almost every kid tricks themselves into thinking about things in ways they’re not.

Barkovitch was the kid sending store-bought Valentine’s cards that never led back to who sent it after one too many mocked him for it, one too many went looking and turned back when they found the answer, one too many. ━ so Barkovitch never writes his name, barely writes much at all, uses practiced handwriting to keep it up in the air, unrecognizable, but sweet. The kind of Valentine you’d always wonder about, the kind of Valentine that meant something, if only because you didn’t know who it was from.

One year, he went looking in places he shouldn’t, and he saw someone that burned a little too bright for him not to stare a little too long. He wasn’t stupid, even if you could argue otherwise, he knew the kind of kid he was, and he knew that who he was wasn’t the only issue. People aren’t meant to be like that, you know, at least that’s what he was told, and so its what he knew. kids only know what they’re told, so he looked, never touched, and one year he sent that lighter a Valentine come February 14th. He spent the rest of the year watching like being told staring at the sun makes you go blind makes you look longer, even if all it was was chlorine swimming pools & sitting alone at lunch & knowing him but never knowing him. For the rest of that year, he stared, and never got caught, and that Valentine laid untouched in that desk for the next 2 odd-years. Looked, never caught, and under a stop-light in a cold passenger seat of a beat up car on a young enough morning to still nip you in the throat, Barkovitch wonders if that hotshot ever thinks twice.

Probably not, he decides as it turns green, probably not.

Shiver’s on the brain so old headcanons time! ( most were before sp.lat 3′s release but shhh )

― they/them, trans ( male to nonbinary, specifically somewhere in the genderfluid territory ) . Hatching place is the splatlands as most of their clan has been for most of both their specific family’s bloodline & many other octolings involved.

― met Bigman prior to Frye, who they encountered the latter of when she heard their at the time very work-in-process music ( a lot of vocalization that was mixed by Bigman, generally Shiver experimenting with the sound they were raised on and seeing where they could take it ) and absolutely loved the sound. With Frye’s never-ending passion, Bigman’s technical skills, and all of them collectively always bringing new sounds and patterns to the table created the trio you see today <3

― Shiver is regarded as a very intense & incredibly stubborn individual. Once they’ve made up their mind firmly on something they genuinely believe it’s incredibly difficult to just shove them out of it. It’s due to them just being a very dedicated, hardworking, self restrained & honest to a fault individual which can make them very difficult to work with. they will stick to who they are rather than who others want them to be to any end, and while by no means do they consider themselves above criticism or fault, they take themselves and their work very seriously and behave as such.

― notoriously difficult to get in direct contact with, especially in the public space. Bigman tends to be the easiest and therefore often used as a gateway of sorts to get in contact with Shiver. This is in part because of how focused they can get with their work & because they’re very reluctant to collab with most. The latter of which is because of A) not wanting to put their name on something they don’t truly believe in or like, and B) Shiver has a Thing about ‘riding other peoples coattails’. They’re an extremely hardworking person who takes a lot of pride in their music and really anything they put their effort & time into and wants what recognition given to be earned by their work, not gleaned simply from riding on the backs of other people. which can lead to them being somewhat controlling regarding whom they engage with and the lack of availability getting in touch with them as a kind of ‘show me how much you want it’ gesture on their behalf, making the other work for it. They’re extremely defensive of their craft, and while by no means dismissive to actual criticism ( they know they’re not perfect & others may see things they can’t ) they refuse to tolerate disrespect or people wasting their time.

― Regarding the above, Shiver understands they can’t just control the group because they themselves don’t want to do something, and when it comes to Deep Cut or just things Bigman or Frye want to do on their own they’re completely fine with obliging to things they themselves wouldn’t, since as a group they can’t control it or their friends and they don’t want to! its their individuality that makes them who they are, and Shiver is willing to compromise when it matters so long as they are respected the same in turn.

― in world they probably have simps and they LOVE bullying them. Yes they do the male Octoling voice thing to fuck with them. yes they think its funny <3 its just a bonus if they fluster a friend or guest in the process.

―  the clan of Eels, clan of Rays, and clan of Sharks ( Frye, Bigman and Shiver’s clans respectively ) have been in communication & camaraderie for long before Shiver or their parents were ever hatched. They like to think they’re following old traditions with Deep Cut but in a new light.

― Shiver’s clan history of Shark wrangling, care & wrangling persists to this day! before they made music or even met Bigman they were raised into such traditions and excelled with the handling and bond between Cephalopod & shark. This has resulted in them being MUCH tougher & better built than you’d probably expect, having extremely fast reflexes, and being very familiar with the care of Elasmobranchii ( the sub-class of sharks, skates & rays, the last of which makes them almost like a doctor when it comes to telling when something is wrong with Bigman, though their specialty does lie with sharks still ) as well as just. very good at patching themselves up BJKGNRJTK such is life when you live alongside & within a shiver ( hah ) of sharks.

― the sharks of the clan were there before the first people of the clan in the seaweed forest & the decision was made to live alongside them as allies. Sharks have become somewhat sacred ( or were particularly in the past ) as a result and the bond between them and the clan is considered to be very important! they’ve grown alongside one another through the generations and worked alongside each-other in the unique ways they do through it all. Sharks in the past & their group have been known for allying with the sharks in battle like steads, especially with individual Octolings having a deep bond with specific sharks. Shiver is also surprisingly good at hiding and general stealth from growing up in the aforementioned forest.

― a big part of their strain put on self-restraint & respect is probably ( definitely ) from growing up with and handling sharks, where both are very important! this is also part of why they value power as well as strategy, group dynamics, and generally come across as so intense and stubborn since you’ve gotta hold your own alongside THE predators of the sea, though that’s definitely not to say that’s all they value, it’s just things that stand out to them and ideals they were raised with. a big part of Shiver is respecting tradition while expanding & breaking from it, after all!

character development anon! what are anatoly's three favorite types of flowers?

Anatoly has never really been a flower guy, believe it or not!

Anatoly focuses himself on herbs & edible plants as a whole, which by all means encompasses flowers, but the focus is the food of it, not the flower itself. He sees the rose for the tea, not its petals, in a sense. Though, he’s not completely ignorant to the aesthetic beauty of flowers, he simply prefers other kinds, such as the golden fields of wheat, the bright red shine of lingonberries, or the sturdy cultivation of thick stems from sugar beets all lined in fields.

If he did have to pick, however, he’d probably pick the carpathian snowbell, erysimum hungaricum, and the bird's-eye primrose. He is very fond of buttercups, angel’s trumpets, dandelions and as well bluebells however.