"Wool You Love Me?" Said One Sheep To Another.

"Wool you love me?" said one sheep to another.

"I only have eyes for ewe."

The other responded, sheepishly.

so someone once called my old english teacher immature (because at this point he was spinning around on a wheely chair) and he said:

“Yeah, but the truth is we never really grow up. We just masquerade as adults because that’s what we’re expected to do.”

and to this day that is the single most profound thing i have ever heard uttered by someone dicking around on a swivel chair

Do chalk outlines on asphalt count as concrete evidence?

You’re living, you occupy space, and you have mass.

You know what that means?

A woman got breast implants made of wood yesterday It would be funny if this joke had a punchline Wooden tit 

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.