roxygen22 - Inner Ramblings of a Recovering Perfectionist
Inner Ramblings of a Recovering Perfectionist

Call me Roxy (she/her) *~Born in the 1900s~* Welcome to my eclectic collection of fandoms and hyperfixations ☆Minors DNI☆

689 posts

Torn Asunder

Torn Asunder

Chapter 3: A Dark Path

CW: Unhealthy attachment, budding co-dependency

Oh, stars.

You and Anakin quickly became inseparable, growing from acquaintances to close friends to an "item." Ben and Shmi, Anakin's stepdad and mother, became quite used to your presence in their home, so much so that they would keep your favorite sodas and snacks in stock and you were a regular at family events and dinners. You spent every available moment outside of class and extracurricular activities with him. You were enraptured by Anakin's presence - you felt like you were drowning in his deep blue ocean eyes, but you had no desire to come up for air...

Your obsession with each other left little time for other friends and family. Anakin wasn't very good at making and keeping friends, anyway. He was quick to irritation and tended to lash out when overstimulated. One morning, he came to school with bruises and scrapes on his knuckles after taking out his frustrations on a brick wall.

"Ani, what happened?" you asked worriedly as you took his hands into yours. Anakin refused to make eye contact with you.

"Don't worry about it, [Y/N]."

"Ani..."

"I SAID DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT!" he growled almost menacingly. You jumped back slightly at his tone, and his face immediately softened and his brows scrunched with worry. "[Y/N]...I'm sorry, I...I don't know what's gotten into me."

"It's okay. I am here if you want to talk about it," you murmured softly as you took his unaffected hand to walk to class.

Looking back, you made a bad habit out of overlooking his bouts of anger. He told you that you brought out the best in him, that you could always help him find the good in situations. You mistakenly thought that YOU alone could keep him from derailing. How naïve.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

You and Aayla had a falling out after she confronted you about your relationship.

"You are different around him," she said quietly as you both sat on the locker room bench after PE.

"Huh? I don't know what you're talking about. I've never felt more myself," you retorted defensively.

"[Y/N], you can't even speak for yourself anymore. Your calendar revolves around him. I invite you to things and you always have to check with him. You always want to be with him. Or you ask if you can bring him. I miss YOU. And I'm scared for you."

"Scared?"

"Y'all became intense so fast it was like a fire sucking all of the oxygen out of the room. You talk less and less about getting out of this place, which has been your goal since 5th grade, and more about settling down. You deserve better than him. He's your first real romantic relationship - give yourself a chance to explore other options. I don't want to see you lose yourself for someone who wouldn't do the same for you."

You stared at her, jaw slack in disbelief. "I love him."

"But why? Sure, he's cute. But he's jealous and possessive, and even you have commented about his temper. I saw him tower over and yell at you this morning."

Ouch. She got you right where Anakin planted a seed of doubt when he used his stature to intimidate you. Maybe she's right? Maybe we should take a break. Your eyes began to water as you looked up at your friend. When was the last time y'all hung out?

The bell for the end of the school day brought you back to reality and startled you out of your stupor. Anakin was waiting by your car, though this was not as unusual as the look on his face.

"We need to talk," you both said synchronously.

<< Chapter Two

Chapter Four >>

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More Posts from Roxygen22

1 year ago

Sexy beast

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1 year ago

yesterdays and tomorrows

“You told me I was like him.”

Blue and flickering, Obi-Wan paused. Apparently, death didn’t immunize you to being tongue-tied. Leia acerbically thought that she could only hope to die in better clothing than Obi-Wan had, if she would be stuck wearing it for an eternity. Ratty desert robes didn’t suit her. 

Obi-Wan had yet to respond, now scrutinizing Leia as she gazed at him. A whistlewill twittered in the distance – the black, dewy night of the planet had fallen, and creatures were rustling about now, scurrying in the dark around them as the air cooled from the heat of day.

“Yes.”

With that, Obi-Wan deposited himself on a log on the edge of the clearing they were in. Leia supposed death also didn’t heal age-weakened knees, if Force ghosts felt the need to sit down for conversations that promised – more than promised, demanded – to be long and emotionally-wrenching. At least his robes were free from further abuse. Obi-Wan could perch to his transparent heart’s content on the moist, muddy wood without so much a breezing worry about silly problems like stains and oozebugs.

The wind rustled in the trees, fluttering Leia’s cloak around her. Leia thought she could almost make out words from its whispering, rushing through the leaves and occasionally swelling to blustering gusts.

“Passionate, fearless, and forthright. Gifts from my father.”

Her voice shot out, tightly wound as she watched Obi-Wan, still silent. “You knew, the entire time. I told you I pictured my birth father, and you let me. You almost encouraged it.”

She laughed, and the sound echoed through the clearing, ricocheting off the side of trees in bitter resonation. Bitter resonation that nearly ended with a quiet sob, but Leia had yet to shed a single tear over the man she had once daydreamed about as a child, and she would not start now.

“I didn’t expect you.”  

Leia glanced up sharply. Obi-Wan’s voice had been so soft she had barely heard it, nearly blending into the wind.

He soundlessly met her gaze.

“I had spent a decade on Tatooine. Watching Luke. Absorbed in my failings.”

Drowning went unsaid.

“Then,” he smiled wryly, “Then, I met a ten-year-old girl who had the face of my dead friend and the indomitable will of my lost brother.”

Leia’s jaw clenched, but she waited for him to finish.

“One with integrity of her father, Bail Organa, and the kindness of her mother, Breha.” He looked at her steadily.

“Above all, Leia—” He stood up and made his way to her, resting his hand on hers, much like she had so many years ago on that transport. “I met someone who was absolutely herself. All her own.”

A silence fell at that. Bugs began chirping as the night grew deeper, a humming cacophony blanketing the forest.

“You are not your father, Leia.”

Leia remained silent. She brushed her hand over her leggings, damp from the hike into the forest.

When she spoke, it was quietly. “I’m so angry.”

Obi-Wan watched her.

“At Vader. At everything. Sometimes that was all that kept me moving forward, after Alderaan. How angry I was.”

Like Vader. 

She felt him squeeze her palm. 

“And yet you rose above it,” Obi-Wan said gently. “And I know you will continue to.” Deep grief weighed down the Force, a heavy stone in its light cloak. “Anakin’s path was a choice. Not a destiny. And so is yours - and your brother’s.” 

A few more minutes passed. The humming surged, wind blowing through and disturbing the buzzing insects to a pitch. Off in the distance, something began howling. Then, the wind settled back down, the humming falling back into its steady rhythm, and the forest grew still once more.

Obi-Wan was still holding her hand. 

“You are the best of us, Princess. Don’t let yourself think otherwise.” 

Softly, “Thank you, Obi-Wan.

“Always, Leia.”

2 years ago

Oh, but Din Din is pretty, too 🤩

The Armourer to Bo-Katan: You may remove your helmet. Din: What? Why is she exempt? The Armourer: She is pretty. Din: What? The Armourer: Err...I mean, she can walk both ways. Din: That's a thing? The Armourer: Yes, totally a real thing, not made up at all. Din: Can I do that? The Armourer: ...No.


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