Tim: So Whats Your Body Count?

Tim: so… what’s your body count?

Bernard: uhhh, like four I think??

Tim: huh, I thought you said you slept around a lot after high school?

Bernard: OH you meant that body count. yeah no that’s closer to fifty

Tim: … Bear what the fuck

Batfamily supporting one another's hobbies: Cassandra edition

Cassandra canonically and in my heart loves to dance, any sort of dance but ballet specifically, it makes her feel graceful and beautiful and while she knows that any ballet dancer has a kick like a mule, and her family knows that she's one of the best martial artists in the world, she likes that people perceive ballerina, and therefore her, as delicate and dainty. She's never been considered delicate or dainty before and it both pleases and amuses her.

Bruce makes the time to go with Cassandra as she investigates the various ballet schools and companies associated with Gotham to see which one of them fits her wants and needs. When she finds the one she likes best, Bruce becomes the school's anonymous sponsor. It it extremely anonymous since Cassandra, who enters the school under the name of Cassandra Drake, wants to earn any role she might play because of her skill rather than because she's a Wayne. Bruce also has flowers for Cassandra after her every performance. Who presents her with the flowers is determined by a competition almost as cutthroat as the competition for Alfred's cookies.

Tim learns enough ballet to dance with Cassandra, specifically to do lifts for her and other assistant dancer sort of things, helping her shine as the prima ballerina she is and getting the chance to have quality time with his sister/favorite sibling. He doesn't have the time to be part of any productions but he's very popular in the dance classes since his presence gives more people the chance to practice the lifts and assisted spins. He's also a translator for those days when Cassandra doesn't/can't verbally speak and just signs instead.

Dick would have learned to assist her with lifts and spins and such but he's very busy and pulled twenty different directions by twenty different people at any given time. Instead he designs costumes for Cassandra and her performances. While Dick's fashion sense for vigilante costumes is bonkers and impractical, his sense of style for performance costumes is absolutely on point and Cassandra's troupe becomes well known for both their skill and their amazing costumes.

Jason didn't think about it and now won't because he doesn't want to be seen as copying the Replacement, he might start teaching himself to play the piano to accompany the two of them as their musician for a private family performance, if they want

Damian is currently too short to be good at lifts and even if he had thought of it he, like Jason, doesn't want anyone to think he's copying Tim. He will, however, paint a portrait of Cassandra as Odette, her first lead role. Damian also occasionally hangs out at the dance school to sketch the ballerinas after he's done with his own schooling for the day. He will ignore anyone who isn't Cassandra who attempts to talk to him. However, in one instance, when an interloper attempted to harass one of the ballerinas, Damian interceded, broke the man's arm, and ensured security removed and banned the man from the premises. The ballerinas consider Damian their adorable little guardian. Damian just scoffs and insists he was only doing it because he didn't want Cassandra to have to deal with any subpar replacements.

Duke is currently trying to catch up in normal bat skills and doesn't quite have the time to add ballet to his plate though he's at every performance and cheers the loudest. He absolutely cheats the most to be the one to present flowers to Cassandra most often out of the family and is the one who can give her verbal praise for her dancing instead of just grunting like a certain others in the family.

Stephanie is a terrible dancer. She owns it and laughs at it but she would not be able to be part of any ballet or assist in ballet practice to save her life. She also doesn't really want to dance ballet. Instead Stephanie helps Cassandra break in her toe shoes, is at every performance, does her best to cheer louder than Duke, and will go with Cassandra to see other ballet performances.

Alfred also ensures that Cassandra and her ballet friends have appropriate snacks and stay hydrated. He's very proud of her for developing civilian friends.

Jason “Drama Queen” Peter Todd at it again

batman by evan cagle

Jason sometimes thinks he’s the poet who was forced to be a soldier

after all is said and done—after the Batfamily finds out that Jason is alive, after he and Bruce finally start to adress the joker-shaped elephant in the room, after Tim stops flinching every time Jason enters the room—the thing that hits Jason right in the chest out of the blue is fucking school.

he kicked ass at Gotham Academy. most of his teachers loved him (and the ones that didn't knew better than to try anything with Bruce Wayne's son). he was on track to win a special award for being the top English student in his grade.

sure, some of the kids were snobby and privileged little brats that were all bark and no bite. and sure, the parents somehow managed to be even worse. but did he complain?

not once. he dealt with the external shit (the whispers behind cupped hands or the assholes who "tripped" into him and sent his shit scattering to the floor) the same way he dealt with the internal shit (the imposter syndrome or the fear that one day, Bruce would decide he wasn't good enough): he worked his ass off and proved them wrong.

sure he's deadly with a mask over his face and a weapon in his arms, but give him a pen, a prompt, and sixty minutes on the clock? and he becomes the angel of death himself.

or at least he used to.

he never got to graduate, he suddenly realises. he never got to walk across that stage and receive his diploma. he never got to go to prom or go on the senior trip. he never got to sit any of his english exams (and yeah, he took AP Lang and AP Lit the same year, what about it?).

as Red Hood, he's good at a lot of things (murder and destruction, mostly). but as Jason Todd, school was one of the few things he was actually fucking good at, damn it.

once again, fate's made him into her personal chew-toy. dangling everything he ever wanted right in front of his face, close enough to touch, just to snatch it away again.

Post-war shenanigans. It's all the same to him