Damian: I Hope You Die.

Damian: I hope you die.

Tim: I hope I die faster.

Damian:

Dick:

Dick: okay that’s enough coffee for you..

Okay think about it, Jason is stubborn as hell and basically DOESNT give ONE SHIT ABOUT DEATH-

So it got me thinking- what if he’s so reckless that he literally jumps in front of his brothers and literally takes a knife or bullet to the gut on purpose so the others won’t suffer

Edit: He probably already does and I’m just stupid

(Probably already been done but hey- I thought it was cool)

Jason: BRAT MOVE

*Kicks Damian out of the way and proceeds to get stabbed*

Damian: TODD, I DID NOT NEED YOUR ASSISTANCE. I CAN HANDLE MYSELF!....But thank you.

Jason: *Weak Thumbs up*

*calls dick*

Damian: Grayson.

Dick: What’s up Dami?

Damian: Todd got stabbed several times while protecting me again.

Dick: what?! Again!??? This is the third time this month!

Tim: Wasnt the last one a gunshot to the shin because of you? Cant he just make up his mind on whether to die or not?

Damian:

Damian: Todd says he’s to Angry to die.

Jason: You all are hoes.

Dick: Sorry but I’m a watering can :)

Tim: I’m a flower pot.

Damian: I’m the shovel that will bury you all...

Jason: damn

Jason makes so many jokes about his death in canon and even more in fanon that at some point it definitely rubbed off on Damian while he was staying with Talia. The rest of the batfam doesn't know this though. So there is one point where they're having a planning session and Jason asks, "What do I do?" And without hesitation Damian responds, "Die." The entire rest of the family is mute with horror, but Jason who is used to it at this point is laughing so hard he's crying.

Damian doesn't know why everyone else is mad at him.

{part 2}

Part two of things my friends or classmates has said that the bat bros would probably say if given the chance!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jason: So you sprained your ankle?

Dick: yup

Jason: hm

*2 hours later*

Dick: JASON STOP SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT SPRAINED ANKLES!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dick: Cum shooter 90k!

Tim: what.

Damian: why did you respond to that...?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jason: Why do I have a random orange in my bag.

Damian: throw it at someone.

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Tim: can’t a guy get any sleep?!

Jason: Buddy- you don’t even get any bitches-

Tim: and you can’t keep a dad

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Damian: I want to have those squirrels like from Willy Wonkers

Tim: oh yes- let’s throw you into a pit of em

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dick: you smell like our high school teacher-

Jason: YOU SMELLED THEM?!?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tim: Uh hey Jason?

Jason: Hey Timbo

Tim: did you read my journal..? (Diary)

Jason: hm? No?

Tim: are you sure?

Jason: yeah, why?

Tim: well someone made spelling corrections and grammar fixes in all the pages. And I know damn well Dick can’t spell.

Jason:

Tim: Don’t lie next time you fucker.

Dick: TIMBERS WE DONT USE THAT WORD IN THIS HOUSEHOLD!