This Man Has Undergone Like Three Different Transformations Now And This Is The Only One Done Right

This man has undergone like three different transformations now and this is the only one done right 🤦

This one is blind

Eyeball cookies

How to make:

Step 1: gouge out any pairs of eyes, enough to have 10 cookies. Do not use the eyes of the dead. Wash them in cold water and dry them carefully, but not completely

Step 2: roll the eyeballs in sugar and then shape them with dough. Don't make them too big or else they won't cook evenly and the eyes will get buried

Step 3: place the eyeballs in the oven for 15 minutes at 150° degrees until the crust is flesh tone and the eyes are glossy. You've cooked the eyeball cookies for too long when they're bloodshot

Step 4: decorate with cream, coconut, chocolate, or whatever assortments you have. Do not use lemon

Step 5: garnish with eye drops, about 1-2 drops for each eye. For a lemon-y taste, make it 4-5 drops for each eye

Do not apply salt to this dish. Doing so will make the eyeballs shrink. Eyeball cookies are naturally nutty, but if you wish to add almonds, cashews or unsalted peanuts, go right ahead :)

Calypsian banquet

WARNING: LIVE CONTENTS / RAW MEAT

How to make:

Step 1: aquire clubsquid, grussel eggs, and an abyssal clam. Exercise caution while wrestling the clubsquid, you'll find it in the black shallows. Grussel eggs can be found in the cracks of reefs, and the abyssal clam requires a deep dive. Everything will need to be live and kept in ice once caught

Step 2: starting with the squid, wash off the animal while avoiding being grabbed by it's spiked tentacles, then very quickly chop off the head. Chop off the tentacles and their suckers, and rewash them. Set the rest of the squid back on the ice

Step 3: wearing gloves, run the grussel eggs under hot water until the really slimy, thick fat layer melts away. They'll darken once the flesh is exposed to the air, and the umbilical feelers will reach out. Do not use a food brush and do not pluck the feelers

Step 4: when handling the abyssal clam, watch your fingers. This animal has teeth and a very strong jaw. Also using gloves, wash it off in hot water and stick a knife between its lips to begin cracking it open. Work the knife all the way around and then over again, until you hear an air release

Step 5: dry off the clam and set it on a dry surface, then pry open the jaw. You'll see it's tongue and an eyeball will emerge from inside. Further back will be it's heart and other organs, you won't need these. Quickly cut out the organs and set them aside on the ice

Step 6: put out a long plate and place the tentacles, the grussel eggs, and the clam, and garnish the dish with a kelp plume. If anything is slimy, wash it off before placing unless you prefer that consistency. As for the organs, they too are edible, but not recommended for eating since they'll be full of blood and other overpowering substances

Make sure to set this dish on ice if your guests haven't arrived yet. Considering everything is raw, anything warm is a breeding ground for bacteria and food poisoning can occur if not handled properly!

An emoji person 😐

A tentacley ophanim