Personally I Have A Weird:

Personally I have a weird:

I ship A and B because people always ship either of them with C but I ship C with myself.

Lesser appreciated varieties of shipping:

I ship it for the sake of narrative or thematic symmetry  

I ship the idea of them, but their actually getting together in canon would ruin it for me  

I don’t ship it myself, but one of the other characters clearly does, and I’m a fan of them shipping it  

I headcanon that they were an item in the past and it ended in disaster, thereby explaining their present dynamic   

I ship it mostly because them being together would annoy a third character so much  

I ship it because nobody else does  

I’m not emotionally invested in it, but the intellectual puzzle of figuring out what bizarre sequence of events would be needed to make it happen is fascinating  

I ship it exclusively as part of a self-indulgent matchmaking fantasy where I’m the one who gets them together  

The very idea of them together disgusts and repulses me, and I’m struggling with how to phrase “hey, your fic really pissed me off” as a compliment  

I ship the AU versions of them that exist in my head, but not their canon counterparts  

I ship it only and specifically if it’s unrequited  

I ship it to spite the author

Amen

thinking that what happened “wasn’t bad enough” is a sign that it was.

your brain wouldn’t be trying to protect itself from the reality of what happened if what happened didn’t hurt you.

questioning if your trauma “counts” as trauma is a sign of trauma.

reminder to:

straighten your back

go pee goddAMN IT STOP HOLDING IT

go take your meds if you need to

drink some water

go get a snack if you havent eaten in a while

maybe wander around the house/stretch a little if you’ve been sat at the computer a while (artists especially: sTRETCH THOSE WRISTS)

reply to that text/message from earlier you’d forgotten about

maybe send a nice lil message to someone having a bad day?

One of the reasons for him wearing the jumpsuit is because it's so stretchy that he can flex with all his muscles without risquing dramatically tearing it.

It looks cool but, running butt naked in Konoha to get new clothes because you keep flexing at people is annoying at some point.

good to see another kakagai shipper! I hope this wasn't asked before but do you have any special headcanons about gai?

Hmm. 

1. The outfit is lightweight, durable, breathable and really comfortable. Gai is politely, quietly, but significantly bemused by how weird people get about it. He thinks they should be standard issue. Nobody has managed to give him a satisfactory reason as to why they are not.

2. People get very weird about being able to see a lot because the suit is very tight. They think Gai is somehow oblivious. He’s not. He just doesn’t care that much. And, really, he knows a man built like himself does not have a lot to be insecure about.

3. He and Kakashi literally live together. None of the kids really notice and the adults have pretty much stopped talking about it. 

4. Gai has a green thumb and he is not afraid to use it. He grows HEALTHY HERBS and VEGETABLES. 

5. He has been thumped over the head by Tsunade at least twice for performing wheelchair races in the hospital corridors. Kakashi is a silent enabler. 

6. When he first meets his team of small children he finds Neji incredibly irritating and it takes a lot of his patience and attention to avoid treating him unfairly. He feels a little guilty about not liking him, honestly, and never really comments on it to his acquaintances. The closest he gets is telling Kakashi (who may or may not be listening, and may or may not actually be sleeping with his eye open) that Lee is determined and Tenten is going to be an amazing kunoichi and Neji is well. Literally. “Neji-kun is… he seems well.” 

7. Gai is physically much stronger than pretty much everybody in Konoha, excepting cheaters like Sakura and Tsunade.

8. Gai has developed a number of strangely specific skills because Kakashi is pants at taking care of himself. Among these: he can hear the squeak of the window of Kakashi’s regular hospital room from clear across the village. He knows. He always knows.

We are forced to live in a system that steals from us daily, Kill snitch culture.

[ID: Four panels from the manga Naruto Shippuden when Gaï meets Kisame again.

First panel: Gaï is looking surpried, saying: "You are..."

Second panel: Lee looks at Gaï asking: "Do you know him? Gaï-sensei!"

Third panel: Close up on the right side of Gaï's face, sweatdroping, his face is shaded dramatically. He asks "Who are you?!"

Fourth panel: Gaï's chest is in the shadows on the front, Tenten is in the middle of the picture, looking at Gaï with an judging expression. Neji and Lee are in the background, probably with a similar facial expression. The speech bubbles for the three of them just says an ellipsis of 9 dots.

End ID.]

I can just picture Gai greeting everyone by smiling and yelling "Well hello there, potential stranger!"

Also, just imagine Dai only wearing the jumpsuit because his child is faceblind and his idea for him to be recognised is to be The weird jumpsuit guy™ because that's easily identifiable.

HC: Gai has prosopagnosia!

In the manga it was a recurring comedic gag that Gai’s memory was so bad that he failed to recognize Kisame several times, but I ran with the idea and I wanna argue Gai actually has a neurological disorder called prosopagnosia, or face blindness.

People who have this disorder are unable to encode people’s faces, so they are unable to recognize even photographs of themselves. Its not that they can’t physically see them – if asked to describe the person they’re actively looking at, they can say “black eyes, white hair”, etc – but they are unable to recognize who it is because their brain is incapable of storing a cohesive, complete visual memory of the person’s face.

Folks who live with this condition often rely heavily on people’s voices or mannerisms or other similarly consistent identifying non-facial features to recognize them, but if any of these change – like, say, your partner dyes their hair, or if they catch a cold and their voice gets nasally – then the individual with prosopagnosia will fail to recognize them and probably freak out and act as if the person is a complete stranger.

(Imagine waking up next to a complete stranger!! You’d be like WTF GET OUT OF MY HOUSE but it turns out it’s your boyfriend of twenty years, he just has a particularly severe case of bedhead. God, how stressful!)

Gai having prosopagnosia would explain, at least to me, why he naturally gravitates towards Kakashi. In a sea of perpetually unfamiliar faces, Kakashi is extremely consistent – he ALWAYS wears a mask, for one, so if you see someone with a black facemask walking around, chances are it’s Kakashi. His silver hair is extremely distinctive, too, and he really doesn’t have a wide variety of outfits. It must be nice to know that everytime you yell RIVAL!! and flicker next to this black-masked, silver-haired fella you’ve got it right, ‘cause there’s no one else that looks like him in the whole wide world!

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