My Partner Has Lived With Me For 2 Years And It Took Until Very Very Recently For Me To Realize That

my partner has lived with me for 2 years and it took until very very recently for me to realize that if I get stuck in Executive Dysfunction Can’t Do Task Mode Guilt Spiral Paralysis, I can say to him (or message him) “I’m stuck” and he will… help?

like 99% of the time there’s a real reason I get “stuck”, maybe my next task has too many steps for my current energy level, or there are multiple things that need doing and I can’t decide which to do first, or I’m trying to think through the multi-step task but there’s an unknown factor that could throw everything off (like, ok I will go to the kitchen, I will get eggs out of the fridge, I will turn on the stove and crack eggs into a pan… but I can’t remember if that pan is clean, what if I have to wash it? better start over. I will go to the kitchen, I will wash the pan, I will get eggs out of the fridge… do we have enough eggs? etc) 

but lately I say to my partner “I’m stuck” and he says “how can I help” and I can say “I need to shift the laundry and cook dinner but I only have energy for one of those so it should be the laundry because that’s already started but I was really looking forward to cooking” and he will just quietly go shift the laundry so I can cook. Or one time I wanted to drink the iced coffee I had in the fridge because it was summer, but the AC was on and I felt cold, so I should just make hot coffee, only I had already made the cold coffee and it wouldn’t keep forever, only I was too cold to enjoy it… and eventually I told my my partner this and he just, turned off the AC?? which never would have occurred to me lol. 

and I’m writing this not to be all like “ooooh my boyfwiend uwu” but mostly because… his approach is so opposite how my parents ever responded to Can’t Do Task Mode in myself or my siblings. I remember my mom yelling at my brother “You’re stuck! GET UNSTUCK! GET UNSTUCK!” so that’s what my brain does when I’m stuck. I just yell at myself to move and don’t move and asking for help feels unbelievably shameful because I SHOULD just be able to Not Be Like This. But I’m not, and I can’t. I need help sometimes and that’s ok. Just because my brain has decided something is a Massive Obstacle doesn’t mean that it’s a proportionately Massive Burden to anyone I might ask for help. If you’re beating yourself up because you can’t handle something tiny, why shouldn’t you pass it off to someone for whom it IS tiny?

but in order to do that you need a helper who doesn’t judge and editorialize, and I never had that until now. I hope to live in a world where parents of neurodivergent children act like my partner, not like my parents. Knowing that I CAN ask taught me to pick out WHAT to ask, and knowing what specific bit of the situation you’re snagged on is incredibly helpful for coping with executive dysfunction. When there was no help, there was no point in figuring out where the problem lay. I wish my siblings and I and all the other similar kids hadn’t been asked “What’s your problem?” as a rhetorical question. It’s so hard to unlearn that judgement.

Downloading fricking Rock Lee screenshots like my whole phone isn't already 99% Rock Lee: I think I already have that one..

My brain:

[ID: Picture of the Game grumps dude saying "download it again". End ID]

[ID: Picture in two panels of Lee and Gaara, their clothes are dirty from the fight.

First: Kankuro is on the left, snickering, saying: " The best way to help a buddy feel better is to give them a nice, fluffy hug." Gaara is turning his back to us, on his tip toes, hugging Lee with his arms around his neck. Lee is looking surprised, with both of his arms on the sides.

Second: Lee is turning his back to us, hugging Gaara under his arms. Gaara isn't touching the ground anymore and is looking a little annoyed. His arms are still around Lee's neck but it looks like he is more gripping him so that he doesn't fall. Gaara is saying "Enough, let me down." Lee answers "Aww... Okay but promise me you'll keep in touch." End ID]

They look so cute!

post-kimimaru fight

gaara lied to by his own brother

shipping incest or pedophilia is not an “unpopular opinion” it is fucking disgusting and fundamentally wrong and anyone who disagrees with this post can just unfollow me right now

your fave is problematic: rock lee

canonically referred to himself as a ‘handsome devil’

somehow manages to be insanely clumsy despite his status as a taijutsu master

will still be yelling about being in the springtime of youth when he is 97 

cannot handle alcohol whatsoever and will kick your ass better than when he’s sober

his idea of romance is to ask you out, promise to die protecting you and then challenge your crush to a duel approximately 12 minutes after meeting you

probably cries when he sees puppies in the street

has such good faith in other people that he legitimately stopped in the middle of a fight with a very powerful enemy to take his medicine

has no idea how to hold a grudge even if you almost take away his dream of being a great ninja by crushing his arm and leg with sand

‘“rest”?? what is this “rest” you speak of?? is that a taijutsu move? please teach me!!’

better manners than your grandma

Controversial opinion (somehow) but it should be illegal for schools to assign homework on the high holidays.