Hoard of your resident sarcastic ace friend. Somewhere between 25 and 250. Asexual/Demisexual, Cis, She/Her/Hers. Posts a lot about: D&D, language learning, LGBT+ content, social justice, and fiber arts. Also cats and books.
870 posts
I Was The Shyest Human Ever Invented, But I Had A Lion Inside Me That Wouldnt Shut Up.
I was the shyest human ever invented, but I had a lion inside me that wouldn’t shut up.
Ingrid Bergman (via wordsnquotes)
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More Posts from Sarcasticacefriend
Imagine Person A’s friends daring them to spend the night in a supposedly haunted house. And it is haunted. By B. When B sees A enter, they get really excited since they hadn’t had a guest in years. B decides to have a little fun with A. B starts out with the classic door slammings, candles lighting up, and mysteriously floating objects. Nothing harmful, just playful. B’s antics keep A up. As B messes with A, they find they’re growing quite a crush on them. B decides to show themselves. They press their lips against A’s, becoming visible. A screams and runs. B goes after them. They find A trying to navigate around the house, looking for the exit. B goes up to A and introduces themselves. A, scared, introduces themselves too. B explains how they’re stuck in the house and how they were just messing with A. Eventually the conversation strays to how B died. B explains how they had committed suicide. B talks about how they wish they hadn’t. How their family unknowingly left them alone in the house, how they still had a life to live. A ends up admitting that they’re suicidal. B comforts A. Together the two lay in one of the old beds, sharing stories, getting to know each other. In the morning, A says that they need to go, and they leave without another word. B didn’t get the chance to ask A if they’d be returning. A few days go by and A hasn’t showed back up. But then one day, the doors fly open and in walks A. B hurries over to them, giving them a hug. A says how they’re depressed and wants B’s company. A explains how they were too busy to visit B earlier. From there, a romances blossoms between the two. A tries to visit B as often as they can, and B is always there as A’s comforter.
Soulmate AUs and Variations
-your soulmate died and became a ghost for you, guiding you and helping you after death
-variation of the above where you don’t know about your soulmate becoming a ghost/spirit for you and assume you’re lucky in all the ways that matter except one
-your soulmate has a different soulmate and when you die you help them get together so they can be happy and then fade away
-your soulmate’s name is written somewhere on your body and turns gray if they die and you name your kid after the soulmate you never got to meet
-you and your soulmate meet in a situation where both of you know you’re not going to survive and you’re both sad but also just happy you got to meet and have this precious time left together
-variation of the above where they die next to each other holding hands and smiling
-your soulmate is not a person of romantic inclination towards you or anything, but in fact your child because they change you the most and make you the happiest you could ever be
-variation of the above in which your soulmate is still the person who changes your life the most and gives you the greatest happiness ever but is your archnemesis
-another variation of above in which the reason they’re your soulmate even though they’re your soulmate is that in the end they give up their life/everything important to them for your happiness/to save you
-you have two timers, one for each hand-left is when you meet them, and right is when they die
-variation of above: the two times are minutes or seconds apart
-another variation: your soulmate is a villain/hero or cop/law enforcer and you constantly check your right hand because the time never stays the same
-in which the information you get on your soulmate isn’t a name on your body or when you’ll meet them or even their dreams, but random bits of information and thoughts they have in the middle of the day no matter how far apart you guys are
-in which your entire life you have your soulmate’s eyes so when you see each other for the first time, you can see how the other looks at you
-where you have multiple names/soulmarks on you because so many different people make up who you are
-where you literally and physically cannot fall in love with someone who isn’t your soulmate because your heart stops if you do
-your soulmate is someone who grew up/went through similar or extremely similar experiences and circumstances but turned out different; the literal equivalent of what could have happened if you did something different
-your soulmate is your brother/sister/twin because they made you who you are and constantly make you better and love you forever
-you and your soulmate are best friends and everyone keeps telling you that you both will end up together romantically even though you really won’t because being a soulmate doesn’t have to mean being in a romantic relationship
-your soulmate hates you because they’re afraid of what you could mean for them and are so, so, afraid
-your soulmate can change if life-altering experiences occur physically or mentally (though not death)
-your soulmate hates you so much or perhaps the thought of you so much that they try to get rid of their timer/name/mark/etc by scarring and hurting themselves and it kills you
-where your soulmate is the only person who can kill you outside of natural causes (meaning no dying if caused by another person such as car accidents, poisoning you, etc)
-au in which you actually have a guardian angel/cupid with a list of potential soulmates who guides you through your love life and slowly checks people off it
-variation of the above where you have no one/a hell of a lot of people on the list but none of them work and it turns out your cupid is your soulmate
-au where you don’t have a name/mark/timer/first words/etc, but words written on you telling you what they will love most about you
-variation of above in which what’s written is what they’ll always be known for (their legacy or kindness, etc)
-if blind, your name/sentence/timer is set in braille via permanent goosebumps or moles or etc
-au where you live without one of your senses (the one that is or will be the most important to you) until you meet your soulmate
-variation of above where its a color you miss until the meeting
when ur asexual friend gives you good advice