"I Wanna Be-"

"I Wanna Be-"

Dazai Osamu x reader

Summary: Rainy days are for remembering the good old moments with your bestfriend, who you have a lethal crush on, a confession of tears masked withing the downpour.

Word count: 1.2k

tw.: angst, angst with comfort at the end, fluffy end

The orange-ish dim glow of streetlights illuminating the vacant streets of Yokohoma, as the heavy rain clouds space out into the vast night sky, giving room for the moon to bleed out and shine like the sun at night.

He, too, was admiring the moon in all its shimering glory. Having a moment of silence for himself, he felt at ease, his soul is at peace while his mind is drowning in the sea of sorrow. His heart aching for the first time in years, that feel like centuries.

"Why didn't I react? What went wrong, I precalculated everything correctly? What...what went wrong? Why am I so cruel...I didn't mean to be cruel...I didnt mean to hurt you..."

The down pour, heavy, yet there's this weighing feeling deep inside you, a feeling of heartbreak rippingnyour heart apart in an agonizingly slow pace, a feeling that angers yet saddens that fast beating heart of yours that's being torn apart from the inside out, as if a secret that can't be kept for too long is fighting war battle for freedom.

You know the truth, or so you believe. He literally gave it to you, why must you... why must this stupid heart still long for someone who doesn't want anything to do with it?

Strolling along the soothing bay, admiring the city lights from afar, with your drenched hands in your, equally drenched pocket. The rain is pouring down harder, yet that seems to be the last of your concerns. The heavy rain clouds surrounding you is enough for anyone in close proximity to know that you're not doing well... unfortunately no ones near to make such discovery.

"Why did he word it like that? Did he truly mean it? He's never been so heartless in ages, let alone with someone as close as me...what have I done..."

The image keeps coming back in a series of constant replay, an unescapable nightmare.

The way soft lips spoke words your mind didn't process, because its full attention was on deciphering the meaning behind his eyes... those sky blue eyes that hold so much pain, so much wonder, so much knowledge...yet, the only emotion it displayed was...the lack of emotion. Blank. His eyes showed nothing, yes they were soft, and a faint hint of pity could be detected, but it's even more confusing wether that is self pity or not...

He was beyond shocked, taken aback, overjoyed even, yet something was holding him back...he felt guilty, he felt confused, he felt vulnerable, he felt as if he was letting you down...he knows you deserve someone better, someone happier, someone who's not an ex-executive mafioso who's currently working as a detective, not someone who drinks regularly and can't commit to staying alive. Ofcourse you deserved better! Even a foolish dog like Chūya would know that, so why didn't you understand?

Yet there you were, fighting back tears when he just left. He had straight up left you to cry on the cols, brittle side walk, with rain and tears pouring down your face.

Shutting your eyes in an attempt to drown out all of those useless haunting memories. Standing on the edge stairs, focusing on keeping a good balance, so you wouldn't end up drenched in dirty river water.

"Why is the water so...so soothing...maybe if I sit down and relax for a bit, I'll be fine..." body weight shifting from one foot to another as if you were loosing conscious, but due to the skull shattering heavy down pour accompanied by spine shivering gales. Stepping a step lower into the water, your shoes were completely submerged, a cold shiver shot up your spine as you froze in place.

It felt good, for now it feels tranquil.

Deep breath in, Deep breath out...

...a familiar, contrast to the weather's temperature, warm scent of cigarette smoke, a little booze...dull mint...green tea... and home. The smell of home.

And before you knew it, you let him pick you up bridal style, carrying your cold body all the way back up onto the main road, even there he didn't let go, gripping you tightly to his chest, avoiding eye contact.

He somehow managed to carry and hold up an umbrella over the two of your, fresh rain-water drenched, heads.

Facing each other for the first time in what felt like, eternity. You two have faced off many times before, but this...this one feels different. Drastically different.

Emotions come into play here, strong emotions.

He never meant to make you cry, he never meant to hurt you, yet here you were hesitating wether to hold him close or keep an arms length distance between you two. Even though the tension in the air was as dense as winter snow, he held the umbrella out for you, covering your head, exposing his own.

"I'm... I'm sorry. I am so sorry." Head held low, his voice strained, he was trying his best not to crack. His voice was shaky. Shivering, even though he was way better dressed than you for the weather.

Dazai Osamu, ex executive at the Port Mafia, currently working as a detective for the Armed Detective Agency, a man with mind that of hundreds, yet body of one. One of the strongest people in Yokohoma.Someone who drank his sorrow, his pain away...was here apologizing?

By this time, his hand was shivering, from the cold? Or the fear of rejection. The fear of loosing someone so close to him, his other half ( sorry Chūya), someone who, almost, knows every secret about him. He can't let you go...you know too much.

Embracing him as a form of apology was an unspoken rule between you two. Through out the years of hatred and comradery, whenever there was a disagreement you'd agree to disagree in a civil way.

He gripped you tighter, stronger, closer. Instead of his usual delicate and gentle manner, he was more...direct, blunt. His head resting on your shoulder, nuzzling closer into you nape of your neck, his breathing was unsteady, rapid. He is afraid of letting you go, he is afraid you'll leave, again, but for real this time...he...he wants you to stay. He wants you to be there with him. He wants you to be his, he finally processed the information, but by then you had already left him...he doesn't want that again.

The umbrella collecting rain on the ground, very well forgotten, while Dazai was being vulnerable, letting his guard down, showing that he fully trusts you.

"Please..." his voice croaked, trying his best to regain composure. " I'm sorry...don't ever leave me...I need you..."

Hugging you tighter, his voice was muffled, faint sobs could be heard from him. All you could do is reciprocate. Holding him up, kissing his forehead and whispering an endless string of consoling words filled with love and comfort, what he needs the most right now.

He needs you.

Hiyaaaa!! Can I request a headcanon with Dazai and Chuuya (separately) where them and reader gets in a pretty heated argument and reader leaves the house. But when they come back they smell like alcohol? And when (Chuuya and dazai) ask where were they, they try to avoid the question. Making them believe that they cheated on them. When they didn't? Could you also make hurt/comfort?

(I'm sorry if it doesn't make sense!!!)

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

A/n : Hii sorry again if I made any grammar mistakes and this is kinda short ,</33 and yes you can request this ! I hope u enjoy this fic .<3

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Osamu Dazai

Honestly, Your both arguments started off as a silly harmless joke to you crying and storming out of your house.

He felt really guilty as soon as you slam the door shut.

He called you multiple times since it was getting late and you're still not home yet.

But to not avail your phone was on silent and do not disturb, so you couldn't hear your phone ringing.

It was 11:43pm.Dazai heard keys ringing on the other side of the door and assumed it was you

He ran to the door just to see your cheeks bright red

Asks you where did you go, until he noticed you smell like alcohol

You don't drink. Ofc that's what he thought but the argument drove you to drink some alcohol to get your mind off the argument

He asked where did you go again but you tried to avoid his question and walked straight into your bedroom

He didn't think much of it and decided to ask you in the morning but when he heard you sobbing in your bedroom floor while your back is pressed against the wall his heart shattered into millions of pieces

Instantly asks you what's wrong while hugging you, smoothing your back trying to comfort you.

After you told him everything he apologized and promise to never bring this up again.

Takes good care of you for the rest of the night. Ofc he will settle down with the teasing.

At the end you both are cuddled up and falling asleep into each other's arm.

Nakahara Chuuya

He hates having arguments with you and barely have any arguments with you, that's until one night.

There were tears running down your cheeks while you both continued to throw insults at each other.

You had enough.After doing all the extra work your boss assigned for you, it was a stressful day and you came home just to argue with your boyfriend.

You turned around and grabbed your bags and storm out of your both shared house.

Unlike Dazai, He didn't care until it was getting late and you're not home yet.

He started to feel guilty and worried for you.

As the clock hits 11:00pm he heard the front door unlocked.

He slowly went to check to see if it was you or not. He felt relieved after knowing it was you returning home safely.

Instantly apologized until he smelled a strong alcohol and perfume smell. A scent he never smelled on you before.

Will go silent for a minute and asked you where did you go.

You tried to avoid his question but he didn't gave up asking.

You took off your shoe and hung your coat on the coat rack, slowly making your way to sit on the sofa, tears starting to build up in your eyes.

As you tried to talk and explain tears are already flowing down your cheeks.

He comforted you as you explained that it was your new perfume that u got from your friend as a birthday gift.

After explaining everything to him he apologized to you and said he didn't mean those hurtful stuff he said to you and he truly doesn't wanna lose you.

You choked out a sob while hugging him back, apologizing too.

The night ended up being you two cuddling and showering each other with kisses, as if the argument never happened.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

I'm so sorry if some part doesn't make sense but I hope you enjoyed it, also I accidentally pressed on this thing and idk how to get rid of it so I'll just put random questions in them 😭

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

FYODOR WITH AN fem!S/O AS INTELLIGENT AS HIM

Disclaimer ; these hcs contain my lil hcs for fyodor as well. hate them? ok no one cares, leave. like them? okay then, ily.

this is kinda toxic, bc yk. Its fyodor. And im saying this in a non racist way possible, but by experience of reading russian literature, russians are fucked up. But theyre hot so idgaf.

also, these hcs are set in the pov of fyodor and what he has to think about you. Reader is in doa.

requests are open btw<3

At the start, Fyodor had never intended to be content with you, in other words, he had never expected to fall for you.

Once he starts to slowly discover his own feelings, He ignored them and ignored you,,his ego was far too high to be falling in love with, as he says, “the tainted”.

he is obviously in denial, the best thing to do here is to be patient with him.

his solution to completely ignoring these feelings are to treat you as any other, just an accomplice. Nothing more, nothing less.

however, that just results in him being somewhat frustrated in himself, which made him much more frustrated and confused.

he knows he has to keep his chin up, not bothering to deal with his problems he knows he can live with anyway.

the times you spend together as “accomplices” pulled the both of you a bit closer and closer each time.

he hated it.

he’s smart enough to realize these feelings cant just disappear, and he is absolutely dumbfounded, frustrated in this life.

The more tasks you both have makes him slowly discover your actual self and your intelligent mindset.

before you think whatever the hell you’re thinking, no. This is not a big factor to him growing to love you.

i have this lil headcanon: i know for a fact some russian families are toxic. So he grew up with lots of siblings, so him being neglected was a often thing—his sisters and brothers always stole the spotlight, so he grew up to be a tryhard, a burnt out gifted child, but slowly developed and changed his mindset and which led him to have a god complex, but that does not mean his obsession and drive for perfection was gotten rid of.

you being nearly on the same level as he is makes him nearly makes his blood boil.

of course, the keyword here is NEARLY. Fyodor is a smart man and only a fool would underestimate him. He is smart enough to not let his emotions get the best of himself.

dont worry, though. As long as you keep spending time with him, it wont be too late to change his opinion on yourself.

im pretty sure the only reason he keeps you around is because you’re a valuable chess piece (that was his opinion before he slowly fell for you).

he decides, instead of torturing himself, maybe it wouldnt hurt to accept his feelings?

of course, he would probably rather die than admit it.

Being the arrogant man he is, the most you could get is spending LOTS time with him. There will be LOTS of hints that he fancies you, so be on the look out.

If he falls, he falls hard. There is no inbetween. So, if he does fall too hard--he would consider marriage. However, that would only cross his mind only once, and that would probably only work out if he is finished “perfecting” the world.

ɴᴏᴛ ᴘʀᴏᴏғʀᴇᴀᴅ

ᴇᴠᴇʀʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋ ᴘᴜʙʟɪsʜᴇᴅ ᴏɴ ᴛʜɪs ʙʟᴏɢ ʙᴇʟᴏɴɢs ᴛᴏ @aoizaraka . ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʀᴇᴘᴏsᴛ ᴀɴʏᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ᴏʀ ᴛᴀᴋᴇ ɪɴsᴘɪʀᴀᴛɪᴏɴ/ʀᴇғᴇʀᴇɴᴄᴇs ᴡɪᴛʜᴏᴜᴛ ᴘᴇʀᴍɪssɪᴏɴ.

ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛs ʀᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ © 2023

Genshin Men + How Many Fingers They Use

Pairing: Kaeya, Diluc, Itto, Thoma, Ayato, Childe, Pantalone, Dottore, Capitano, Tighnari, Cyno, Neuvillette, Wriothesley, Zhongli x Fem!Reader

Tags: nsfw, smut, fingering, clit stimulation, hand kink, rough sex, cunnilingus

A/N: My hormones are all over the place today so you're lucky! You're gonna get a lot of food in the next few days.

ONE FINGER, BUT CURLING UPWARDS - Diluc, Ayato, Pantalone, Cyno

When he curls his finger upwards while it's fully inside you and your hips rise along with it he can't help but get a delightful little smile on his face. It's like you're tempting him to put your mouth on you, inviting him to press his tongue against your clit and curl his finger again so you have no choice but to fuck and ride his mouth. That's exactly what he does, it drives you wild to feel the double pressure of his finger inside you and his tongue on your clit and he knows that it won't be long before his face is covered with your horny, sticky juices.

TWO FINGERS, ROUGH AND FAST - Childe, Capitano, Wriothesley

Not playing around or playing nice with his fingers. You get two almost right away, you get pinned down with his other hand as his body rests beside yours and your hips shoot off the bed every time he slams his fingers back in your wet cunt. There's nothing outside of this room to you, there's only him and his fingers making your head spin and your heart race until you shut your legs around his wrist, tears rolling down your face when you can't take anymore. You're so sexy when all you can think about is more orgasms.

TWO FINGERS, FROM BEHIND - Kaeya, Thoma, Tighnari, Neuvillete

Doing it from behind gives him such a wonderful view of your pussy stretching open for over his two digits. From this position he can use his other hand to hold your hip, or better yet your hand, pulling it backwards so your back is taunt and ass firm. He's not a cruel man however, your pleasure is his number one priority even with his teasing and chuckling about how cute your pussy looks when it's empty and seeking his fingers when he pulls them out fully. He knows you need them, and he won't let you crave them for long.

THREE FINGERS, STRETCHING YOU OPEN - Itto, Dottore, Zhongli

He has to get to three fingers eventually because he plans to rut into you tonight so you have to be ready for him. If he went in with his cock right away before stretching you out properly he might hurt you a lot more then he intends to. That's right, intends to, but only after he hears you begging for it. You'll be doing so very shortly, your pussy is already begging to be fucking until morning, clenching and unclenching around his fingers, begging for something longer, bigger. Not unless you be a good slut and use your words for him.

Rose feilds in snow

Gepard Landau x reader

Summary: checking on your boyfriend on his day off for a while and gifting him a rose, you go off to run errands, until the two of you "coincidentally " met resulting in another wholesome moment for your relationship.

Word count: 0.6k

tw.: straight up tooth rotting wholesome sickeningly sweet fluff

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The bone chilling temperature of Belobog is in high contrast with how hot Gepard is feeling at the moment.

You said you were coming to meet him on his day off...well today's the day and you did drop by for a bit, before running off to run some errands.

Reason to why he's so red in the face and bashful? You came by with a single rose, warm tea, and a fleeting kiss on the lips.

He knew you'd be back by night, you told him before leaving, it's rare for him to have a day off, but now he wants to return the favor tenfold. He wanted to show you how much he loves you, he wanted to show you that you feel loved... so what was he going to do? Go to Eversummer Florist!

You were busy running around Belobog, until Serval messaged you saying she needs you right now and that it's an emergency!

Rushing over, bursting through the doors of Neverwinter Workshop to check up on Serval and her urgent matter. A machine had gone broken and she needed two set of hands and another capable intellectual to assist in the matter of repairing that machinery.

Meanwhile...Gepard was at Eversummer Florist trying to figure out which flower you'd like, after much pondering he thought of asking his elder sister, Serval who at this certain point in time is with the love of his fateful life.

"Uhmm~ how about you go and buy me some lavenders or lilacs?"

"Serval, what does that have anything to do with fixing this ancient looking machine artifact thingy?"

"Ahhhh, don't worry~ I'll handle the rest, you go and take a rest by smelling some flowers and buy me a few of the purple colored flowers, I think they'll make the workshop look a little more pleasant."

Serval happily ushered you out of the workshop, before you could even get a word out you were already standing out in the somewhat cold Administrative District's weather.

Maybe Serval's right, you do need a break from all the errands and running around you've done for almost the entire day.

Gepared blankly staring at his sister's late and blatant answer of "idk ask your love" when he's clearly trying to plan a surprise. Why doesn't she get it? Just as he thought that the doors to the little store opened, to the most beautiful person this man's ever seen. He almost dropped his phone and cracked it if it wasn't for his quick trained reflexes.

"Hi, uh, love! What brings you here?" He tried his best at hiding his smile, but his face blushed the instant he saw your equally red face and just a little bit messy hair.

"Oh? Gepard? Darling, I thought you were resting at home? Did Serval also send you to check out suitable flowers for the workshop?" You joked happily walking in feeling a feeling of pure childish joy coincidentally seeing your lover.

"Uh, actually I..uhm...I came to buy you flowers,butIdidn'tknowwhichomeyou'dreallylike, so I asked Serval for advice, but I guess she sent you in person, haha." Stepping closer to you, his face deepening in the shade of bashfulness while he fiddled with your fingers, looking away from you. He was nervous, and extremely cute.

You felt your face heating up and your hand grasping his pulling him into an embrace, because words were not willing to come out of your mouth.

"I'll love any flower you give, dear."

"...I know... I just wanted it to be the best, because you deserve only the best, love."

DAY 4 — KNIFE KINK

kinktober 2023. — masterlist | ao3

𖧡 — including — dottore & pantalone (together)

𖧡 — warnings — fem! reader, knife kink + threesome, sub! reader who likes to be used, they share you, teasing, mean harbingers but they‘re pseudo nice to you ig, possessive of you as well, very mess & so much cum, all parties are consenting

you're dripping because of that scalding look on dottore's eyes, and the air was circulating through your unmoving figure on the bed when you watch him observe you, bitterly cold and glacial alike, touching around your bare skin as pantalone places his cock flat on your perfect cunt, leaving a sticky swell on your folds as you budged your pussy against his length.

"you really do like this, it seems." pantalone says sternly, nigh on an insulting timbre, and there was a monitoring peer on his eyes, the sort you'd claim to be demeaning— assuming that in one way, he couldn't fathom that someone would be willingly placed into this position, sandwiched in between two dangerous harbingers, the second and the ninth to be particular about it, claiming your body to their hearts content.

and it's when your body suddenly flinches as it caught onto the sound of metal strumming over your ear shells, your head urging you to turn right and figure out what the mysterious sound was all about. come to think of it, this certainly wasn't the first time you were placed on a bed, bare and with no clothing concealing your frame while being recklessly fucked and passed around by both men before one of them would come up with something new, something they'd love to try out on you.

conversely, when the doctor was taking something out of his pocket to show you, there was an inexplicable increase on pantalone, his dick becoming heavier and swelling whilst rolling over your clit, the underside of his length tingling at the sensation of your wet, sopping pussy touching him up all well and nicely that he couldn't resist himself to hump against you, harder this time, your whimpers loud and edging him on.

"are you willing to try this?" it's at the moment when you can finally recognize the indiscernible object in dottore's hand, a razor-sharp knife— with an engraving of the fatui insignia on either side of the blade, it appears to be quite expansive and crafty, and you swallow down the lump in your throat when he experimentally places it on your shoulder— not willing to move it around, he's testing the waters with you, seeing how far he could go and if you're even interested in the first place, prepared to dispose of it if you weren't.

you bite your bottom lip before speaking out through a tensed jaw, unable to believe that you're about to agree to this, "yes.." you mutter and can't do anything but let out a weak mewl, "i’ll do anything." never getting tired of how they're handling you, whispering a small, airy please when they hold you down under them.

"just be good then." dottore lightly presses the keen blade against the softness of your welcoming skin— it's so cold it had you flinch within seconds and your toes curl into the silken sheets when he advances to tease one of your nipples with the tip.

just as effortless as the doctor had you under his control, you simultaneously let go of a muffled cry when pantalone suddenly has entered you without warning, his cock thick and present, his muscular abdomen tensing as he towers on top, fucking his cock into you and stretching your hole wider, maybe that's the reason they both seem to work fluidly with each other, in numerous occasions.

you're being stimulated from both sides now, the cutting object moving on your chest and responsive breasts, grazing on top of your erected nipples while you're getting thrusted into over and over again as they use you, fondle with your body as if it's their property— which, it kind of was, nudging on your sweet spots only to make themselves cum in the process.

one might assume seeing fear in someone's eyes was the very one key factor to make dottore cum, but your sheer, pure willingness to try out whatever he presented in front of you, obviously made it impossible for him to see you in any kind of terror.

up to the present time, he'd lie if he would claim he didn't like what he watches happening in front of him though, taking pleasure on how you're becoming even prettier the moment you turn more desperate for them, "ohh— you're so wet." the ninth claims, letting the tip of his cock reach your insides, a broken growl covering the clearness of his words, baring his teeth and showing no mercy on your pussy.

his eyes roll back and he pants out when he feels how you're constricting around him particularly hard, noticing the vibration of each flutter, your walls sticking on his length and creaming all over his cock.

dottore cocks a brow, sliding the knife down to your clit, the still coldish blade coaxing a shiver right out of your spine, "indeed, it's precious, isn't it?" he lays the metal flat on top of your clit before sliding one hand to his stiff cock, slowly humping into his palm to complete and find bliss on the perfect view of your body. you're ethereal to them, there's no doubt, most desirable pet to them as well, no one was this impeccable and obedient, always there to rile both of them up— and dottore growls into his chest, fisting his stiff cock so desperately fast and hard that his own vision was turning littered and messy with white dots covered on top.

you feel your cheeks swell aflame, flustered and embarrassed at his sudden, unusual praise, which, granted, hearing any kind of praise from those two was a rare occurrence, so you weren't to blame for such reaction. but you were aware that neither of them would lie to you, not in predicaments such as those, when they're vulnerable themselves, on the brink of cumming and marking you up with their seed, until there's a white, milky film covering your naked body.

it's becoming too much now, and you can hear and listen to the wet, squelching sounds of your used pussy being fucked and split apart, reaching your hand over to curl around dottore's wrist that was holding the knife, crying out at the way you’re smearing your slick all over yourself and pantalone's cock and thighs.

"i-i'm close!" you squeal, arching your back, your body twitching and shaking as dottore swiftly replaces the knife with his rough digits, squeezing and rubbing on your puffy clit, your hips never hesitating, mindlessly pushing up to press against Pantalone's cock as if that'll make it somewhat faster for you— but it's coming to an end now, and your body bows in as you sob uncontrollably, hearing the sound of your rapid heart beating in your ears like a fire alarm going off.

a deep moan adds to the fast breathing of pantalone, and it's almost too low and rumbled to hear it, as if he was attempting to cover it up, but regardless it had long since bulged in his chest as he breathes out the probably most beautiful moan you've ever heard in your life, such rare noise making you pulse between your aching thighs as he realizes the power he had on you, and how you were throbbing on his length, the corners of his lips twisting into a devil like grin.

to take them into complete awe, it's when they spot that hazy smile on your face like there was nothing else on this world you'd enjoy more than being fucked by them, two big and powerful harbingers with the thought of their authority alone having you close your legs together to still the swell in your core.

it's all it took him, the squeezes of your cunt, your fucked out expression as cum messily soars from his cock the moment he pulls out of you, the warm liquid firing over your lower belly an obscene, gross amount that it shoots all up to your breasts as, at the same time— dottore fists himself faster, pulling his cockhead over one tit and whisking it over your nipples before blowing his load on top of you— your own body spasming at the weight of cum on you and the notice of a warmness and heaviness occupying both your body and mind, your mouth aching from all the screaming, your tits hurting from the sharp metal teasing the flesh, and your cunt still twitching from being fucked just the way you liked it.

just the way you needed it, before closing your eyes in fatigue— with a soothing silence hugging your trembling, exhausted skin, apart from hefty, broken blows and puffs, the smell of filth, sweat and sex penetrating your senses.

a hand silently jolts up at your cheek, your body wrung out but leaning into the warm touch before you hear the doctor speak once more, "good, very good." and you smile when he whispers it, humming against his palm cupping your head.

©2023 anantaru's kinktober do not repost, copy, translate, modify