Scrapbook-of-sorrow - I Wanna Be Better (I Wanna Get Worse)

breakfast: 80

lunch: 220

dinner: 370

snacks: 4.5

total: 674.5

still went a tad over, but this is more like it. if my boyfriend hadnt made me e.t, it wouldve been lower.

but i think i burned about 100-150, so im fine

i love you liquid calories i could have a meal entirely out of liquid calories

except non diet soda fuck that bitch if i drink one glass of it i'll wake up in an episode of my 600lb life

A trick I’ve learned (I don’t condone or recommend this to others) is to convince my brain that eating makes me physically sick.

For example, “oh god if I take another bite I’m gonna puke” or “the texture of this food is disgusting I feel nauseous” or “this food looks revolting it’s gonna make me sick if I eat it”

This works pretty well for me considering I’m terrified of throwing up or being sick in general like that. When I convince myself I’ll get sick, I start genuinely feeling nauseous and start gagging sometimes too.

I just repeat those uhhhhh affirmations (???) until they kick in, which they do every time.

I feel disordered lol

i feel so clean when i dont eat