Kagura: Can You Check For Monsters Under The Bed?

Kagura: Can you check for monsters under the bed?

Gintoki: The monsters don't live under our beds, they live inside of us.

Kagura:

Gintoki: Goodnight.

Shinpachi: If it were up to me, they would revoke your driver's license.

Gintoki: They are more than welcome to, considering I don't have one.

Shinpachi:

Shinpachi: Oh my God.

Yamazaki: Coca Cola can remove rust from metal, imagine what it's doing to your body.

Kondo: Pfft, getting rid of the rust, duh.

Hijikata: THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS!

Sougo: Hmm... I've been drinking soda and my body's rust free... not sure where you're getting your facts from...

Shorter, holding in his laughter: Hey, how do you ask a glass of water what it’s doing? 

Ash: A glass of water is an inanimate object. Therefore, it’s incapable of having a thought process or understanding basic human language. 

Shorter: 

Shorter: Water you doing?

*when they drop food on the floor*

Shinpachi: ugh. *throws it away*

Gintoki: five second rule!

Kagura: foolish germs, thinking they can stop me?! *eats it off the floor*

Yuuji: On Halloween we dress up as skeletons but every other day of the year our skeletons dress up as us. 

Cop: You know you have the right to remain silent, right?