Spinner, Writing

Spinner, writing

---

The first time Spinner picks up the pen, his hand becomes too heavy the moment he sets it down on the surface of the table. The white of the paper in front of him blurs and blurs with the surroundings until he has to shut his eyes to clear his vision. In his mind, he immediately sees Shigaraki.

The pen snaps in his grip.

The doctors have to sedate him.

-

The second time Spinner picks up the pen, he tries to write Shigaraki's name. When he can't, he instead writes 'League of Villains.'

Now what?

"The League of Villains was..."

Was...

—the only place he felt he could belong.

Spinner's own words. He said them, once. He said them, to—Toga, who was about to run off, to find one of those Hero trainees. Because—Twice had died, Twice had been killed by Hawks, the second of them to die, after Magne, and—

Spinner throws the pen away. He drags himself over to his bed and buries his head in his pillow, biting hard into the cloth and cotton. He keeps perfectly silent, even as his eyes and heart and everything else that is him screams.

-

Some days, he resents Shigaraki. For not coming back for him, them, the League. For failing to beat that stupid fucking kid. For telling that kid to give Spinner those last words. Without them, Spinner could've stayed empty.

But Shigaraki's words are inside of him now, and Spinner cannot throw them away. They roll through his mind, always, day and night, echoing in that low, raspy voice of Shigaraki's, and though they always end up making wrong turns, crashing into the walls Spinner has tried put up to keep himself upright and moving, Spinner lets them stay. They are agony, and they destroy him. They are so very much Shigaraki's, and there is nothing Spinner treasures more.

-

He hits a stride when he decides to write as if he's writing letters.

-

Shigaraki—

I got your message.

-

Shigaraki—

Kinda mean of you to not say anything to Mister, or Dabi, or Toga. They'd be so disappointed.

-

Shigaraki—

The food here is terrible. Remember when you won us sushi? And yakiniku? I never had anything so expensive in my life. It was thanks to you.

-

Shigaraki—

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I didn't do anything when All For One said you were you, but I knew you weren't, not completely. I'm sorry I didn't try to get answers, and just listened to whatever he said. I'm sorry I didn't help you, I'm sorry I just let you scream you were in pain and it was so obvious so obvious that something was wrong and I didn't help. I should've questioned him more I should've demanded he stop whatever he was doing to you I should've

you were hurting you took that surgery for our sake I said I was acting for your sake too but I wasn't I should've helped you for real. You were our leader you saved us you saved me and I should've saved you too.

Sorry sorry I'm so sorry.

I can't ever make it up to you and I'm sorry.

-

The worst part, Spinner realizes, is that Shigaraki would forgive him.

---

Out of Context Donald Duck comics

Need Spinner to rip Deku a new one

[Warning for some suicidal ideation]

•

At first, Izuku thought Iguchi Shuuichi didn’t hear him. Iguchi did not move. He was still looking away from Izuku. He said nothing, staying quiet for so long that Izuku thought maybe he should leave, and give Iguchi time to process and accept the news. Whatever was going through Iguchi’s head right now.

"...I killed a total of eight people..."

It was so soft and low it took Izuku a second to realize it was speech, that it was even a sound.

“Pardon?” Izuku asked.

“I killed eight people.”

Izuku stared at Iguchi in front of him. It sent a jolt through him, to remember that this man was a criminal, a murderer. He was dull all over and looked like he could barely sit up by his own strength, but Iguchi Shuuichi was a Villain, and he was speaking about the deaths of eight people with zero emotion. "W-What? Are you—this is a confession—"

If Iguchi was confessing, Izuku should go get Detective Tsukauchi, or—

"I plotted with the Front to destroy cities.” Iguchi said. Still toneless. Still looking away. “I watched Gigantomachia crush everything in his path. I led a riot against a hospital. I trampled over a dozen doctors and nurses—"

Izuku blinked. "You didn't actually do that. No one actually got hurt, luckily—"

"I did.” Iguchi said. “I'm a Villain, and I killed countless people.” It was then that he finally turned to Izuku. A blank, unseeing stare that shot right through Izuku. Iguchi’s eyes were pink, but the look in them was so empty that it was like the color had leached out, replaced with a glassy hollow-pink gray.

Izuku flinched, but took a deep breath. “...You did. So it’s good you’re confessing. And now… you can… repent—”

“So kill me."

"What?"

"Kill me,” Iguchi repeated.

Izuku grimaced. “I’m not going to do that.”

“Kill me.”

“No,” Izuku said firmly, and stood up. “I’m going to go get Detective—”

He saw the moment when Iguchi’s eyes bursted with a manic light, as if everything came back, and with it, finally, all the emotions that Izuku had expected when he first came to tell Iguchi his leader’s last words. Iguchi exploded.

“Just kill me!” Iguchi roared, struggling against his restraints, so hard it shook the hospital bed. “I'll–I’ll kill you, if you don't stop me right now! Kill me!"

Izuku’s fist clenched automatically at the threat, the muscle memory of when he had One For All. But One For All was gone, and Iguchi was bound up tight. "I'm not going to do that! I don't kill—"

"You killed him!”

The scream made Izuku reel back.

“You killed Shigaraki!” Iguchi suddenly jerked away again, eyes squeezing shut. He curled in on himself, though he was still yelling. “You killed him, so kill me too!”

“I didn’t—!” Shiga–Shimura Tenko’s body crumbled to dust due to the damage it had taken. Everyone agreed that regeneration had failed at some point, and Shimura was already falling apart. The collapse was inevitable.

“You killed him!” Iguchi sounded hoarse now, as if the yell just before had damaged his throat. “He died. He died in front of you and you let him die. So—” The voice broke completely. “So why can’t you let me die too? Let me die with him."

Ragged breathing filled the room. Izuku let it go on for a count of ten, allowing Iguchi to calm down, allowing himself to find the words. “...That’s not how it works. Shimura Tenko died, but you’re still—”

“Shut. Up.” Iguchi curled in on himself further. “Just kill me and let me die. I don’t care. Just let me… Just let me go see him.”

“You can’t follow him,” Izuku said. In the back of his mind, he faintly thought that Shigaraki would’ve been pleased to see that his League was still loyal to him. “Iguchi Shuuichi, your leader is dead, but you can’t follow him. You have to—”

Iguchi made a sharp, jagged sound, the imitation of a laugh. “I have to. Are you really just some kid, that you don’t get it? I love him.”

Izuku froze.

“...I loved him,” Iguchi said. He breathed out the words. “Shigaraki Tomura. My heart was empty until I met him. He was— I wanted—” Iguchi trailed off. “...I loved him."

The horizon that Spinner was looking forward to, Shigaraki Tomura had said, grinning. It had felt so random, him mentioning one of the League in the middle of battle, as he was destroying Mt. Fuji. If Spinner is alive, tell him—

Were you… acknowledging his feelings? Izuku wondered, tentatively, to those memories of Shigaraki. Did you know? Your last words… did you do that, just for him?

Iguchi was weeping now, tears leaking out of his still shut eyes, trailing down his face and falling onto the hospital sheets. One wet dot, two dots, three, merging into a misshapen, growing stain.

Iguchi was unforgivable. Shigaraki was unforgivable. They had done unforgivable things. But still Izuku had said to Shigaraki, I saw you crying, and he knew he needed to help. How could he not? Someone was in pain, and saving them was obvious.

But now your friend is crying. The immediate, most obvious way to help Iguchi right now, Izuku couldn’t help but think was… if you were here…

And there was a déjà vu too—Gentle and La Brava…

Izuku’s stomach twisted when he realized there was nothing he did for La Brava, when she was crying, knocking her small fists into him. It was Gentle who shoved him off and held her. Gentle was the one to dry her tears.

No one else could’ve done it.

"There's no point in me living,” Iguchi whispered. “My family has disowned me by now. The League is gone. Shi... Shigaraki is gone. There's nothing left. So just let me die."

“I… don’t think he… would’ve wanted you to die,” Izuku carefully offered. “If you were fri— more than friends, he would’ve wanted you to live. Right?”

Iguchi made that sharp barking laugh again. “I'm going to jail for the rest of my life. And there is no life I want, not without—” Iguchi broke off.

“It’s not the end of the world,” Izuku tried to say. “You have to live, and things will change—”

“The future has no place for me in it,” Iguchi said. Tears dripped off the tip of his mouth. “I never had one, anyway. After all this, I’m…”

A sob. “If we didn't let him go into surgery… I wanted him to stay, but he was so excited… And I knew he wasn’t himself anymore, I knew All For One was lying to me, I knew all that! But I didn’t do anything. I didn’t know what to do. I did nothing, and now he’s gone. I should’ve… I don’t know, I don’t know, but I should’ve done something.”

Izuku bit his lips. This was, at least, something they had in common. “...It was the same for me too. I saw All For One and him being… stuck together. I couldn’t ignore that, so I wanted to help him too. I wanted to save that cry—save him, but…” He sat back down. “Maybe… if we had worked together… If you came to us earlier…”

“...save him?” Iguchi rasped.

Izuku nodded. “I really did. I wanted to save him.”

Iguchi slowly raised his head. “You killed him. You fought him to death. Heroes wanted him dead. Hawks killed Twice and everyone just accepted it. You… You never said anything. What do you mean, ‘if you came to us earlier…’

That hollow look in Iguchi’s eyes was back.

“You never said a single word about saving him.”

I'll never get over this:

When Kermit Tully pointed out that Storm’s End, Oldtown, and Casterly Rock were as strong as Stark’s own Winterfell (if not stronger) and would not fall easily (if at all), and young Ben Blackwood echoed him and said, “Half your men will die, Lord Stark,” the grey-eyed Wolf of Winterfell replied,

“They died the day we marched, boy.” Like the Winter Wolves before them, most of the men who had marched south with Lord Cregan Stark did not expect to see their homes again. The snows were already deep beyond the Neck, the cold winds rising; in keeps and castles and humble villages throughout the North, the great and small alike prayed to their carved wooden god trees that this winter might be short. Those with fewer mouths to feed fared better in the dark days, so it had long been the custom in theNorth for old men, younger sons, the unwed, the childless, the homeless, and the hopeless to leave hearth and home when the first snows fell, so that their kin might live to see another spring.

[...]

“Are you babes in swaddling clothes, to be cozened by flowers and feasts and soft words?” Stark berated them.

"Who told you the war was done? The Clubfoot? The Snake? Why, because they wish it done? Because you won your little victory in the mud? Wars end when the defeated bend the knee and not before."

Cregan shows up two years after the war has started, staying home because he told Rhaenyra he had to make preparations for winter so that people wouldn't starve and has the audacity to tell the lads that more war and bloodshed is needed, when not only did they participate in far more war and bloodshed than Cregan did his entire live but also had their homeland burned to the grounds by Vhagar.

The Riverlands are fucked for years because Aemond and Vhagar were burning the Riverlands for months while Cregan was in the North -being able to actually grow and harvest food.

The Riverlands lost thousands, which the lads were there for fighting among them -including all of the Winter Wolves and Cregan complains that not more people are dead.

The Riverlands are so screwed out of people Black Aly get Cregan to leave his men in the Riverlands because they need them.

Cregan says a ton of true things when coming south, but he was a cunt for that one.

"By royal decree, each of the Velaryon boys was presented with a dragon’s egg whilst in the cradle. Those who doubted the paternity of Rhaenyra’s sons whispered that the eggs would never hatch, but the birth in turn of three young dragons gave the lie to their words."

Fire and Blood: Heirs of the Dragon: A Question Of Succession

One of my favourite parts of the Dance is that this was a real thing they did. They gave Rhaenyras sons eggs to proof that they weren't bastards.

When Rhaenyras mother was half Arryn and she had no issue claming a dragon, Rhaenys mother was half Bartheon and she had no issue claiming a dragon and Alicents children are all half Hightower and had no issues claiming dragons.

Which works in universe really well, but from a modern perspective it's just really funny to think that they belived that dragons cared about human marriage.

Sure this gigantic fire breathing lizard totally cares that some random guy blessed you otherwise it wouldn't hatch from it's egg.

i've said this more than a few times before, but it continues to be true. the more I think about Shigaraki letting Spinner join the League of Villains, the funnier it gets. Everything about it - here's a guy Shigaraki has to vet to let into his supervillain battle group, and he's

A hikkikomori country boy from the middle of nowhere with zero criminal experience just somehow finding his way into a big city Villain hideout

showing up in low-budget cosplay based on a serial killer who recently went viral

(because the serial killer went viral)

having to reveal that in the fight against professional superpowered mercenaries, his power... is to climb walls

then asking for a giant sword made out of dozens of knives duct taped together as his main weapon. (They'd have to pay money for this.)

And Shigaraki said 'sure' to all of it. Is it any surprise he's dedicating his destruction of Mt. Fuji to Spinner? We all talk about Spinner's giant crush on Shigaraki, but i think Shigaraki is actually the one got a crush first, moment he first saw the guy.